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Family Matters:  Dealing with dementia is so hard  |
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CherryPie
True Blue Farmgirl
935 Posts
Kimberly Ann
Puyallup
WA
USA
935 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 10 2010 : 08:37:18 AM
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The time has come when I can't handle my grandmother's dementia anymore. She lives with me and it's been getting rapidly worse. We're at the point where I am afraid to leave the house because I don't know what she'll do. Now I have the task of finding a place for her, getting her evaluated by a physician so she can go to the place that I have yet to find, and still dealing with her each day. It's exhausting and I can only imagine how awful it is for her to have her mind so deteriorated that she's in perpetual confusion/fear/anger.
I can only hope that a cure can be found for such a cruel disease. Thanks for reading this post. It helps to "talk" about it.
Kimberly Ann
Farmgirl Sister #225
Crochet Geek, Newbie Fiddler, Would-be Farmer, Backyard Chicken Rancher, Eager Podcaster
http://beesinourbonnetsintheburbs.blogspot.com/
Podcasts at http://thefannyfarm.blogspot.com/ |
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Karrieann
True Blue Farmgirl
1900 Posts
Karrieann
Northeast
Georgia
USA
1900 Posts |
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melody
True Blue Farmgirl
3318 Posts
Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3318 Posts |
Posted - Feb 10 2010 : 09:01:12 AM
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Kimberly Ann,
It's difficult because you remember what she used to be like and you well know how frustrating it is for her and for you at this time in her life.
I too wish "they" would concentrate on a medication or therapy that would benefit dementia patients. My heart goes out to you and for others who are experiencing this. Hang in there. She will have good days and yes, bad days too! We are here for you and you are right it does help to talk about it.
"The best mirror is an old friend."
- George Herbert
Melody
Farmgirl #525
www.melodynotes-melodynotes.blogspot.com
www.lemonverbenasoap.etsy.com |
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dutchy
True Blue Farmgirl
4427 Posts
4427 Posts |
Posted - Feb 10 2010 : 10:51:08 AM
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Yes it is VERY very hard. Have been goiung through that with my mom, from start to end. I lived at home and was her sole care taker. It is exhausting, both physical and mental. It can truly drive "you crazy"
(((((Hugs)))))
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me and mine :)
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4HMom
True Blue Farmgirl
720 Posts
Kelly
Montana
720 Posts |
Posted - Feb 10 2010 : 12:45:15 PM
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Hang in there, Kimberly....(((HUGS))))
"Be the change you want to see in the world" -Gandhi |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2010 : 03:42:59 AM
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Lost a grandmother to this and am still visiting a dead friend who has really slipped. It's so cruel to watch a person slip mentally but still have the body linger on. The fried can recall her childhood memories now but not much else so she thinks she is at her chuldhood home. She does still brighten up when we visit, but she can't recall our names anymore.
Have peace and know that when this happens, the person can't recall like they used to. They just have no recollection. So it's more painful for sure for the care givers. It's also way stressful constantly having to worry about their care
I hope you can find someplace quickly for your own peace of mind |
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emsmommy5
True Blue Farmgirl
1547 Posts
Angie
Buckley
WA
USA
1547 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2010 : 07:42:56 AM
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((hugs))
Do what you love, love what you do. |
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classygram
True Blue Farmgirl
1812 Posts
Brenda
Pleasant Hill
Mo.
USA
1812 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2010 : 08:29:19 AM
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It is just heart breaking to see a loved one go through this. I took care of my uncle as long as I could. But it was getting to be dangerous for him and myself. Couldn't leave him alone at all. We did finally find a nice place for him to stay and he seemed to be content. Just remember all the memories from the past and live each day as a new one, just as they are doing. For tomorrow they will only know what is going on at that point. Continue the hugs and kisses, because they still respond to affection. You are in my prayer's. This is a very hard time right now for you. Just remember we are here to listen.
HUGS! Brenda |
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KayB
True Blue Farmgirl
540 Posts
Kay
Del City
Oklahoma
USA
540 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2010 : 11:45:49 AM
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Sorry to hear this. My grandmother and great-grandfather both had Alzheimer's and my great-uncle, who was like a grandfather to me, had dementia. None of it was pretty, but I tried to be accepting. Depending on her state of mind, I was either Regina or Patty, and it was okay if that's what made her happy. The rest of my family was not accepting and would badger her about "You know who I am if you would just think about it". If she knew, she wouldn't ask.
I will pray for you. I know it's hard, but we must do what is best for our family. I wanted to take care of Grandma, but everyone else said no and after coming back and seeing her, I can now understand why.
Prayers and Hugs.
KayB
Life's a dance you learn as you go |
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Ingrid
True Blue Farmgirl
432 Posts
Ingrid
BC
Canada
432 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2010 : 5:49:19 PM
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My mom is in the late stages of Altheimers so can relate. It is tough on the family. Be brave and do your best.
Give thanks to yourself everyday for all the wonderful things you do! |
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CherryPie
True Blue Farmgirl
935 Posts
Kimberly Ann
Puyallup
WA
USA
935 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2010 : 6:52:14 PM
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Thank you everyone. She's so fearful and so angry, often at the same time, and always directed at everyone around her. She makes up outrageous, horribly unbelievable stories about events and people, which breaks my heart to hear because she believes them. We're just taking it a day at a time, really an hour at a time, because that is all we can do. I appreciate so much all your kind thoughts and words. Thank you. :-)
Kimberly Ann
Farmgirl Sister #225
Crochet Geek, Newbie Fiddler, Would-be Farmer, Backyard Chicken Rancher, Eager Podcaster
http://beesinourbonnetsintheburbs.blogspot.com/
Podcasts at http://thefannyfarm.blogspot.com/ |
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graciegreeneyes
True Blue Farmgirl
3107 Posts
Amy Grace
Rosalia
WA
USA
3107 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2010 : 7:54:57 PM
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Kimberly Ann you are definitely in my thoughts and prayers, my grandma is suffering from dementia too. May you have strength to get through the jumping through hoops part of the process and may you find a good place for her to be
Amy Grace
Farmgirl #224
"use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without"
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knitnpickinatune
True Blue Farmgirl
1140 Posts
Sherrie
Gardena
California
USA
1140 Posts |
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Laur
Farmgirl in Training
32 Posts
Laurie
Boonville
MO
32 Posts |
Posted - Feb 12 2010 : 8:13:29 PM
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| Hi Kimberly Ann, Oh my my heart feels for you and I am sending a hug. Yes, It is so hard and the confusion and stories sometimes intense, but just take deep breaths and keep strong, my daughter lived with her grandmother the last three years of her life and many days was called "my girl Friday", cause Gramma couldn't remember...She got yelled at, they had anything from robbers to angels visit, asked if was going to snow in the middle of July, and yes, we were careful not to let the dog out, even when there was no dog, but there were good and loving moments too, My daughter heard her Gramma swear and say things she could hardly believe, but somehow the love the two of them shared got them both through!!! I'm sure the love will help guide and sustain you too! Be kind to yourself, take a minute minute here and there, and talk about it!!!! Another hug, Laurie |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2010 : 03:45:28 AM
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Prayers are with you too. For strength,,,,especially for the mental strain and red tape
Not fun |
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smiley
True Blue Farmgirl
650 Posts
lea
pea ridge
arkansas
USA
650 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2010 : 06:18:10 AM
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| We just put my father in law in a nursing home because of this. He was dangerous to himself and my mother in law. It is sad and carries a guilt with it but sometimes it has to be done. I am praying for you also. Its hard but farmgirls have strength |
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KayB
True Blue Farmgirl
540 Posts
Kay
Del City
Oklahoma
USA
540 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 1:40:23 PM
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Grandma used to fake heart attacks if she didn't get taken out for her Sunday ice cream cones. And she called my hubby some pretty derogatory names, too, using language that she would have tanned my behind for if I had said it.
KayB
Life's a dance you learn as you go |
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Family Matters: Dealing with dementia is so hard |
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Dealing with dementia is so hard
