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Across the Fence:  This cracked me up!!  |
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Karrieann
True Blue Farmgirl
1900 Posts
Karrieann
Northeast
Georgia
USA
1900 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 16 2010 : 10:25:46 AM
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I received this in my e-mail from my Mom!
The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.
Dear Dogs and Cats:
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your
comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I
also know that sticking tails straight out and having
tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the
bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an
attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also,
I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the
following message on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes,
stay off the furniture.
That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like
most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) don't smoke or drink,
(8) don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
hahaha
Karrieann ~ Farmgirl Sister #766 (29 Sept 2009)
My etsy: Yesterday's Scraps, Tomorrow's Treasures http://www.etsy.com/shop/2TomorrowsTreasures |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Jan 16 2010 : 11:25:08 AM
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Karrieann:
That is absolutely priceless!!!!!!!!!! I loved every word, phrase, comment, etc... Can I copy this and post it on my refrigerator? Please!!
I love this post. It really is all so true. I especially love the part about "TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes,
stay off the furniture.
That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like
most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly".
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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Karrieann
True Blue Farmgirl
1900 Posts
Karrieann
Northeast
Georgia
USA
1900 Posts |
Posted - Jan 16 2010 : 11:27:37 AM
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...copy to your hearts content.. but beware of your furkids riping it down from the fridge!! BOL!
Karrieann ~ Farmgirl Sister #766 (29 Sept 2009)
My etsy: Yesterday's Scraps, Tomorrow's Treasures http://www.etsy.com/shop/2TomorrowsTreasures |
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
13649 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
13649 Posts |
Posted - Jan 16 2010 : 2:49:24 PM
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Karrieann . . . THANKS!!
I had actually seen that somewhere before . . . STILL makes me laugh!!! And, SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO true. We have one of each . . the cat is the "Queen of Everything" and the dog is "Princess of Quite A Lot".
THANKS AGAIN!!! LOVE IT!
CJ
...from the barefoot farmgirl in SW Colorado...sister chick #665
From my Heart - www.fromacelticheart.blogspot.com
From my Hands - www.cjscreations-ceejay.blogspot.com |
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Tanna
True Blue Farmgirl
195 Posts
Tanna
Fort Worth
TX
USA
195 Posts |
Posted - Jan 16 2010 : 4:22:47 PM
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We have both a cat and a dog but most of that applies to my kids. Perhaps I should post it for them to remember.
Tanna |
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Cowgirl Cocinera
True Blue Farmgirl
105 Posts
Dana
Chelsea
OK
USA
105 Posts |
Posted - Jan 16 2010 : 5:54:52 PM
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Thanks for posting this Kerrieann! My dog is sitting in my lap now as I'm trying to type this, that's why is so short.
Cowgirl cookin' makes you good lookin' |
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Karrieann
True Blue Farmgirl
1900 Posts
Karrieann
Northeast
Georgia
USA
1900 Posts |
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Karrieann
True Blue Farmgirl
1900 Posts
Karrieann
Northeast
Georgia
USA
1900 Posts |
Posted - Jan 16 2010 : 6:03:10 PM
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Dana.. you should make a "baby" sling thingy so you can type while your dog is on your lap. Abigail, my beagle loves it and I love having two hands for hen-pecking the keyboard with!
Karrieann ~ Farmgirl Sister #766 (29 Sept 2009)
My etsy: Yesterday's Scraps, Tomorrow's Treasures http://www.etsy.com/shop/2TomorrowsTreasures |
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laurzgot
True Blue Farmgirl
1711 Posts
Laurie
Alvin
Texas
USA
1711 Posts |
Posted - Jan 16 2010 : 7:12:51 PM
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Keerieann, I just love it. Priceless
Laurie
suburban countrygirl at heart |
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createmyworld
True Blue Farmgirl
295 Posts
Beth
Akron
PA
USA
295 Posts |
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Farmtopia
True Blue Farmgirl
1465 Posts
Zan
New York
New York
USA
1465 Posts |
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Annika
True Blue Farmgirl
5602 Posts
Annika
USA
5602 Posts |
Posted - Jan 17 2010 : 05:58:23 AM
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LOL!!! Priceless! I loved every bit of it
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci
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knittingmom
True Blue Farmgirl
665 Posts
AnneMarie
Edmonton
Alberta
Canada
665 Posts |
Posted - Jan 17 2010 : 06:47:20 AM
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Too funny, thanks for posting this!
"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world" |
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herblady55
True Blue Farmgirl
3470 Posts
Judy
Louisville
Ohio(Stark Co)
USA
3470 Posts |
Posted - Jan 17 2010 : 11:36:19 AM
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Thanks Karrieann for the laugh! All of my relatives have pets and would really love this. Even my housebunny,"Kizzy" is snickering *as he sits by the stove nibbling his pineapple*
Sister-chick# 905
Judy
Hugs&Squeezles!
I am not contained between my hat and my boots! -Walt Whitman- |
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caro
Farmgirl in Training
37 Posts
Carol
Princeton
Indiana
USA
37 Posts |
Posted - Jan 17 2010 : 12:17:14 PM
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| I can relate to almost everything written!! Thanks for the laugh! |
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Across the Fence: This cracked me up!! |
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This cracked me up!!
