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Family Matters:  Rights of the elderly  |
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Miss Bee Haven
True Blue Farmgirl
4331 Posts
Janice
Louisville/Irvington
Kentucky
USA
4331 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 27 2009 : 2:35:49 PM
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I'm worried about my 89 year old father. He recently had a dizzy spell before he got in his car, and he didn't fall, but he just 'sat down' in the grass and the mailman came shortly afterward and called EMS. Dad was diagnosed with borderline pneumonia and stayed in the hospital for several days. They wouldn't let him go home, but released him to a nursing home/rehab facility. My brother has all the power, just so you know I can't do much of anything. Dad has done so great in rehab, he's walking without his shuffle and w/o a cane or walker or anything. He's due to get out tomorrow. But it seems that they've told him he has to 'stay in' for 8 days. I found some literature in his room yesterday about this. They are planning to go to his house and assess his ability to drive and also if his car is okay for him to even drive. He keeps saying that all this is because he lives alone. My question is "Is this legal? Since when can people come into someone's home and force them to do/not do anything? Why were they able to keep him in the facility? They tried to get him to sign a form saying that if anything happened to him while he was there, no one would sue them, but we would solve it through mediation. My brother wouldn't sign that, at least, and they told my dad not to , either. But later, when he was alone, they brought the form into his room and tried to coerce him into signing it anyhow. Has anybody else had this type of experience? I'm worried that if he goes along with this, and lets them in his house, he will lose his right to even live alone. Are they trying to force him into a home?
Farmgirl Sister #50
"If you think you've got it nailed down, then what's all that around it?"
'Br.Dave Gardner' |
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1badmamawolf
True Blue Farmgirl
2199 Posts
Teresa
"Bent Fence Farms"
Ca
USA
2199 Posts |
Posted - Dec 27 2009 : 3:23:47 PM
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GET YOUR FATHER OUT OF THERE NOW, there are still BAD facilitys, with bad people running them out there. A friend went thru something similar a few years back, and her mother ended up signing over everything to them, cause she knew no better. My friend went thru HELL getting her out and her home, car etc back. Call an lawyer, and I will pray for the best for you all.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
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Sheep Mom 2
True Blue Farmgirl
1534 Posts
Sheri
Elk
WA
USA
1534 Posts |
Posted - Dec 27 2009 : 5:07:15 PM
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I agree with Teresa - get him out of there right away as long as there is no reason for him to need to be there. It sounds a bit suspicious to me. Now when my Mom went down with heart surgery they did an in-home assesment but it was to make sure she had all the aids (lifted toilet seat, tub aids things like that) that she needed to be safe not to say whether she could come home or not and that was done by a social worker not someone from the facility. Does he have insurance or is he helped by State insurance to supplement his SS and Medicare. If he is, the State may do an evaluation but NOT the facility at least not in this state. I do know the rules vary from state to state but I would be keeping an eagle eye out on this one. One thing is certain - Social Security will pay for 30 days of transitional care and most facilities like to get the whole 30 days worth. Unless he is totally infirm, they cannot keep him there against his will. Since your brother has the POA - it is up to him to take charge and for him to decide but as long as your dad is mentally fine he cannot be forced to do anything without agreeing with it.
Blessings, Sheri
"Work is Love made visible" -Kahlil Gibran |
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Miss Bee Haven
True Blue Farmgirl
4331 Posts
Janice
Louisville/Irvington
Kentucky
USA
4331 Posts |
Posted - Dec 27 2009 : 5:29:33 PM
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Tomorrow is the last day of transitional care that Medicare will pay for. My dad is hard of hearing, and he told me that in a meeting last Tuesday with the nursing home people, he pretty much just sat there and couldn't hear all of it clearly, but depends on my brother to tell him what they were saying. I'm pretty worried that he will just let my brother do anything. My dad is mentally still sharp, but he tends to just let my brother do it all. I don't know if my brother is the one telling my dad that all this is because he 'lives alone'. Why my brother would think this is a good idea, I don't know. My dad lives in his own house. My dh and I take him out to dinner five nights out of the week, so dad only drives to a little golf course around the corner from his house and spends afternoons talking with other old guys in the clubhouse. What's wrong with this? My dad does not drive at night or in bad weather. What would he do if he couldn't even do that? My brother and SIL and my dh and I do not get along. They are in charge. I'll be going to my dad's house tomorrow after he gets home.
Farmgirl Sister #50
"If you think you've got it nailed down, then what's all that around it?"
'Br.Dave Gardner' |
Edited by - Miss Bee Haven on Dec 27 2009 5:32:02 PM |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Dec 27 2009 : 7:26:36 PM
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I agree with Teresa. Get him out now. Keep us posted, please. In the mean time, I will be praying for you and yours.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Dec 28 2009 : 03:36:57 AM
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Sounds suspiciois to me
Get him out quick, and see if you can get your brother to sign the poor man up to get some decent hearing aids!
I hate what some people will do to others no matter the age
We;ll pray for your family and the situation! |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Dec 28 2009 : 08:08:08 AM
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Janice- Please keep us updated! I hope this situation works itself out soon and doesn't harm your dad in anyway. I know you said your dad is hard of hearing. Does he have a hearing aid? Maybe if you could assist him in getting his hearing up via a better hearing aid or whatever then maybe he could be more of an advocate for himself as well?
I am so sorry that your brother is so domineering when it comes to your dad's care. Your dad sounds fantastic!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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cheneygal
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Suzie
Cheney
Wa.
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - Dec 28 2009 : 2:44:54 PM
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Please, Janice make sure you feel things are being done right. My mom went through a situation about 4 yrs. ago with a Nursing Home, and it wasn't a pleasant situtation to say the least. However, things did work out. Does your Dad have hearing aids?? If he needs a set, I have a set I would be more than willing to send you.....they are high end devices, and Miracle Ear told me they could be passed on to another, just have to be adjusted to the other persons hearing. Let me know~~I would love to pass them on.
live, laugh, love |
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Miss Bee Haven
True Blue Farmgirl
4331 Posts
Janice
Louisville/Irvington
Kentucky
USA
4331 Posts |
Posted - Dec 28 2009 : 5:16:40 PM
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Thanks, Suzie. But he does have a set, he just won't wear them. One got stuck in his ear when he first got them, and he just stopped wearing them. He just got home this evening, and someone comes tomorrow to 'evaluate' him(don't know for what exactly). But when this 'nurse' gets there, he's going to call me and I'm going over with all my questions. My brother has no memory of reading the papers in dads room about checking his car and driving skills. He thought is was only some computer test. That's not what I read at all. As far as I know, we still live in the USA and no one can force their way in your house without a badge and a warrant. This nurse better be ready to answer any and all questions or see the end of my steel toed boots. I promise I'll be civil as long as possible. I'll wear my farmgirl sisterhood necklace to remind me to be a lady.
Farmgirl Sister #50
"If you think you've got it nailed down, then what's all that around it?"
'Br.Dave Gardner' |
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cheneygal
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Suzie
Cheney
Wa.
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - Dec 28 2009 : 5:57:06 PM
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Janice, no thanks neccessary. Make sure you understand every little detail, and let them leave no question unanswered.....You go girl....and use those steel toed boots if neccessary!!
live, laugh, love |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
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dutchy
True Blue Farmgirl
4427 Posts
4427 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 12:56:24 AM
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Keep us updated please. This sounds fishy to me as well. And yes, be around when that nurse comes and ask ALL the questions you want. Write them down asap. When you just think of a new one, write it down, because often you'll forget it at the moment they are there.
Prayers and hugs for you and your dad
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me and mine :)
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Sarahpauline
True Blue Farmgirl
672 Posts
sarah
Ringgold
GA
USA
672 Posts |
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tribalcime
True Blue Farmgirl
2963 Posts
lisa
lexington
ky
USA
2963 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2010 : 04:32:01 AM
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Janice.. hope he is home and doing good..all that is way wrong....sounds like they were trying to get evrything signed over tho them. Unless your brother had a dr evaluate hm and declare him "imcompetant" they should not be doing all that
http://www.tribalhorse.blogspot.com ..... http://www.tribalbarter.blogspot.com ( items for sale here ) |
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Miss Bee Haven
True Blue Farmgirl
4331 Posts
Janice
Louisville/Irvington
Kentucky
USA
4331 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2010 : 04:50:51 AM
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Well,so far, a visiting nurse and an aide have come to call. They are both under contract as they explained it, with Medicare. I was there for the RN and she was very nice. In fact, as luck would have it, she spent last summer restoring a vintage camper! Yes, she's a 'glamper'! So we bonded. She asked a million questions and so far, the driving issue has to do with him getting home care from the physical therapist(haven't seen one of those so far) and the aide. He can't drive and get care from Medicare. It's predicated on him being home bound. I'm taking it one day at a time and keeping an eye on anyone who comes to talk to him. So far, the driving isn't being raised as an issue, other than that he isn't supposed to as long as Medicare is in the picture.
Farmgirl Sister #50
"If you think you've got it nailed down, then what's all that around it?"
'Br.Dave Gardner' |
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dutchy
True Blue Farmgirl
4427 Posts
4427 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2010 : 04:59:23 AM
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Praying for a good outcome, Janice
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me and mine :)
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
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Family Matters: Rights of the elderly |
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Rights of the elderly
