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Family Matters:  Almost Thanksgiving...dreading it, of course...  |
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goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl
1599 Posts
Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 18 2009 : 06:28:47 AM
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Yep, this is another vent but not as bad as in the past. I've cowgirled up and don't care that much anymore but still have a little bit in me that needs to vent/have an outlet.
This year is his side of the family. So, I've been doing so well about ignoring his family, have told hubby that I don't like them and if I never see them again, it's too soon, the whole works, (see other posts about this). Believe me, he's CLEAR about how I feel about them.
But we did make the agreement about every other year, swapping family holidays.
Okay, so my SIL called the other day to let me know that my MIL had told her we were going to her house. But my SIL is having her own holidays, it seems no one much is going to my MIL's, they actually grew spines and are mostly having their own parties. So, I'm going to be stuck with my in-laws and step-daughter, her hubby and the step-grandson that I'm afraid to even touch. (For anyone that doesn't know, I won't touch or have anything to do with the kid because I'm afraid of my step-daughter, she's WAY too overprotective).
Can't you just see this one coming?? My MIL has already called my hubby (or maybe he called her, not sure on that one) and said something (I was sitting right there, watching TV) but, I'm so proud, hubby just did his grunt that he does when he doesn't want to talk about something. He never told me what she said, which is almost a first and I sure haven't asked.
I told my SIL that if things get too bad, I can always hit the vino and zone out. Except I'm allergic to alcohol, so, really, that's a no-go. I'm sure my SIL told my MIL that (she tells everything anyway) and I'm sure now that my FIL will razz me about drinking too much. 7 years ago I got a little drunk with another SIL and haven't drank a thing since then but my FIL still tells the d*mn story about what a drunk I am. That sort of deal.
The good news?? I have a set of pickup keys, have a working pickup AND have friends in town that I can go to if I get too annoyed with 'family'. That alone makes me feel 85% better, at least I'm not stuck!! YAY!!
To read funny stories about my cooking 'skills', please visit http://lostadventuresincooking.blogspot.com/
For uber-opinionated, pleasurable horse related reading, please visit http://horseinfoperson.blogspot.com/
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ddmashayekhi
True Blue Farmgirl
4737 Posts
Dawn
Naperville
Illinois
USA
4737 Posts |
Posted - Nov 18 2009 : 07:00:30 AM
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I'm so sorry that what should be a fun and happy day is going to be so stressful. Is it possible to have dinner with one family and then leave to have dessert with the other? This way you get a break in between and an excuse not to linger. I hope things work out for the best for you.
Dawn in IL |
Edited by - ddmashayekhi on Nov 18 2009 07:00:52 AM |
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Sarahpauline
True Blue Farmgirl
672 Posts
sarah
Ringgold
GA
USA
672 Posts |
Posted - Nov 19 2009 : 05:01:47 AM
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Im so sorry. I dreaded going to some of the holiday get togethers too, though my MIL is a peach. What I do is turn on my stepford wife, dress as nicely, do my makeup and hair the best I can and then nod and smile, be sugary sweet. When its all over I go home and relax until next time.
Not all those who wander are lost...
www.SarahPauline.com
www.AbraxasBaroque.com |
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therusticcottage
True Blue Farmgirl
4439 Posts
Kay
Vancouver
WA
USA
4439 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2009 : 12:55:54 AM
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Winona - I hope this doesn't sound mean but I have to ask why you go around these people if they make you so unhappy? I have the in-laws from he-- and I will not spend another holiday with them. I tell my husband that if he wants to be with his family that he's welcome to go and have a good time but I'm choosing not to go. Life is way too short to spend it around toxic people like that. Thanksgiving I am cooking for me, my daughter, and grandson - the husband is going with his family. I'm sorry that they make you so miserable. I hope that you can have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Handmade Soap, Lotion Bars & More! http://therusticcottage.etsy.com
The Rustic Cottage Blog http://therusticcottage.blogspot.com
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CountryBorn
True Blue Farmgirl
1545 Posts
Mary Jane
New York
USA
1545 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2009 : 1:33:15 PM
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I was thinking along the same lines as Kay. Life is too short to spend one minute of it miserable if you don't have too!
MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
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goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl
1599 Posts
Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2009 : 5:44:55 PM
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Welp, ladies, turns out, we're not going. Truth is, I was going to opt out anyway, after I wrote this and had a good long think about it. But hubby, somehow, knew or something that this wasn't a good idea and told them we aren't going...all without me saying a word. Body language may have had something to do with it but he did tell them.
So, hang in there with me, I'm getting there! Getting comfortable with 'just saying no'....
For uber-opinionated, pleasurable horse related reading, please visit http://horseinfoperson.blogspot.com/
I have some other blogs in the works...please stay tuned and I'll let you know where to go! :-)
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1badmamawolf
True Blue Farmgirl
2199 Posts
Teresa
"Bent Fence Farms"
Ca
USA
2199 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2009 : 6:24:50 PM
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My late hubbys mom once told me that a son honors his mother with his presence, til he marries, then the honor goes to his wife.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
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therusticcottage
True Blue Farmgirl
4439 Posts
Kay
Vancouver
WA
USA
4439 Posts |
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AmethystRose
True Blue Farmgirl
254 Posts
Rosemary
Huntingdon
PA
USA
254 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2009 : 10:20:25 PM
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Hubby deserves a "just because" reward. An apple pie, maybe..... |
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CountryBorn
True Blue Farmgirl
1545 Posts
Mary Jane
New York
USA
1545 Posts |
Posted - Nov 22 2009 : 10:55:08 AM
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I'm so glad for you Winona. I just hated to think of you spending such a nice holiday being miserable. You know I have noticed your husband has really been a lot more sensitive to your
wishes and feelings lately. That is great. Things are really changing for the better for you two! Have a very Happy Thanksgiving!
MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
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goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl
1599 Posts
Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts |
Posted - Nov 24 2009 : 12:25:30 PM
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Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!! :-)
Some friends asked us to spend TG with them and, believe this or nor, just today it struck me, I can have TG HERE...at my home!! Well, duh! It won't happen this year but maybe next year?? Future years? Christmas?? I haven't had a real home in so long, I'd forgotten that I can do things HERE....
So, slap me up side the head! This domestic stuff just stumps me at times! :-)
Thanks to all of you, I appreciate all the replies!
For uber-opinionated, pleasurable horse related reading, please visit http://horseinfoperson.blogspot.com/
I have some other blogs in the works...please stay tuned and I'll let you know where to go! :-)
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Family Matters: Almost Thanksgiving...dreading it, of course... |
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Almost Thanksgiving...dreading it, of course...
