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 Trying to rise above...
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl

4687 Posts

Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts

Posted - Nov 10 2009 :  07:37:14 AM  Show Profile  Send catscharm74 a Yahoo! Message
This was an email from the lady, who when I was back in Texas, I asked her for help when I had mono and she told me "Well, good luck with that..." and blew me off for months. I haven't heard from her and as all ya'll know, my life has taken quite a different path since then. To say I have had a lot on my mind is short selling it.
I don't know where this anger comes from and I DO NOT allow ANYONE to speak or "email" to me like this:

"Ok did you fall off the planet or what. I do not know what I did or did not do to piss you off, but its seems a goodbye was in order. I was going thru my contact list and if I do not hear back from you I guess I need to delete this address.
Brook is 6 months old now. Austin doing great, hows Charlie and Chloe. Doris"

I am really trying to rise above this and I will not be answering this email because it is drain on my positive energy. I am just floored at how someone can act, especially not knowing my current situation.

Heather

"Hitch your wagon to a star"

http://somewheredownintexas-heather.blogspot.com

shepherdgirl
True Blue Farmgirl

1008 Posts

Tracy
California
USA
1008 Posts

Posted - Nov 10 2009 :  09:17:19 AM  Show Profile
Sad to say that so many people on this earth have "Tunnel Vision." If it ain't in THEIR tunnel, they don't see it. She sounds like she's 1. totally Clueless, and 2. totally Selfish.

Not sure what I'D do if it were ME who received such an email. I'd have to discuss that with God. If HE told me to respond with greetings and cheer, than so be it. Forgiveness is a BIG one with him, even though it's sometimes hard for us to do. When we hold anger and unforgiveness in our hearts, only WE suffer for it, in more ways than one. Best thing to do is to let it go. If it were ME, I'd send the "Greetings" and "I wish you well," then delete her email and move on, not give it another thought.

As you well know Heather, no one can hurt us without OUR permission. This woman probably doesn't even have a CLUE how you feel about her. Either flat out TELL her how her email makes you feel, delete the email without response, or do what I would do, but don't let this get to you. You've got enough to deal with, and you have A LOT to be proud of!!!

Remember: When life hands you lemons (and she sounds like a LEMON!) START SQUEEZING, add some sugar, and BE HAPPY! ~~~ Hugs ~~~ Tracy

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. ~~ George Carlin
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Annika
True Blue Farmgirl

5602 Posts

Annika

USA
5602 Posts

Posted - Nov 10 2009 :  09:58:05 AM  Show Profile
Oh Heather, you SO don't need that kind of negative selfish person in your life. I wouldn't respond to such an email. Even though I'd be tempted to give her a nice big piece of my mind! Unless you really want her friendship, I'd just delete the email and give it no more thought.

You are worth more then that *hugs*

Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13


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Merry
True Blue Farmgirl

765 Posts

Merry
Ankeny Iowa
USA
765 Posts

Posted - Nov 10 2009 :  10:00:09 AM  Show Profile
Let her go and move on. Like you said, you are a different person in a different place. There are more important people in your life that need your time, emotion and care.

Merry
Farmgirl #536

http://iowafoodcoop.blogspot.com

http://afarminmyheart.blogspot.com/


Don't pray for a lighter load, pray for a stronger back.
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl

13055 Posts


Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts

Posted - Nov 10 2009 :  10:02:15 AM  Show Profile
Tracy:
Wow!!! what wisdom you have! I couldn't have said it better. I'd love a friend like you. Total honesty and wisdom.
Heather: This person sounds like what I refer to as a "ME ME ME" person. If this person is dragging you down, let go. I would tell her plainly, "I will not give you permission to drag me down. Have a happy life with yourself"
Marly

"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl

4687 Posts

Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts

Posted - Nov 10 2009 :  10:24:08 AM  Show Profile  Send catscharm74 a Yahoo! Message
You know---I have been contemplating this all morning and I decided to just let it all go. We are moving on and I am definitely moving on from the negativity. After ALL I have been through with my family, I am getting pretty good at not allowing this type of behavior back in my life and acting upon it pretty quickly. I deleted the email. I am going to be changing my email once we move back to TX, as well as our phone numbers, so it will be a fresh, positive start. I am just utterly dumbfounded that people expect a reaction from something like, especially knowing my situation with my own family, which she is fully aware of. I doubt she would have the gall to say something like that to my face but this just shows me her true side. Onto bigger and more brighter days!!! Thanks Farmgirls!!! (((HUGS)))

Heather

"Hitch your wagon to a star"

http://somewheredownintexas-heather.blogspot.com
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Autumn Leaves
True Blue Farmgirl

463 Posts

Jennifer
Northern California
USA
463 Posts

Posted - Nov 10 2009 :  10:54:37 AM  Show Profile
Good for you Heather! It takes a bigger person sometimes and I'm proud of you!

Warm Wishes
Jennifer

Never let yesterday use up too much of today - Will Rogers
http://jenscountrylife.blogspot.com
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Merry
True Blue Farmgirl

765 Posts

Merry
Ankeny Iowa
USA
765 Posts

Posted - Nov 10 2009 :  11:21:04 AM  Show Profile
You go girl!

Merry
Farmgirl #536

http://iowafoodcoop.blogspot.com

http://afarminmyheart.blogspot.com/


Don't pray for a lighter load, pray for a stronger back.
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Beverley
True Blue Farmgirl

2707 Posts

Beverley
atlanta Michigan
USA
2707 Posts

Posted - Nov 10 2009 :  6:49:31 PM  Show Profile
That took a lot of courage to just let it go but you will be better off for it ,so GOOD FOR YOU!! There are some people in life that we just don't need in it and she looked to be one of those. You will be better off and I think you made the right decision. Be proud of yourself and move on!!!

Folks will know how large your soul is by the way you treat a dog....Charles F. Doran
beverley baggett Beverley with an extra E...
http://bevsdoggies.googlepages.com/
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl

4687 Posts

Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts

Posted - Nov 10 2009 :  6:51:50 PM  Show Profile  Send catscharm74 a Yahoo! Message
Thank you!!! I do feel better. I was out sweeping the garage floor and I thought..."Hmmm...sweeping it all away!!!!" ; )

Heather

"Hitch your wagon to a star"

http://somewheredownintexas-heather.blogspot.com
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shepherdgirl
True Blue Farmgirl

1008 Posts

Tracy
California
USA
1008 Posts

Posted - Nov 11 2009 :  11:30:35 AM  Show Profile
Thank for your kind words Marly, but "I call 'em as I see 'em." I also try to see things from the other persons side. We are all the product of how we were raised and how we allow the things of this world to affect us.

I have found that some people learn from the things that hurt them and make them sad, which in turn makes them more aware of other peoples feelings and makes them a better person. Others BECOME all the things they hated in the first place and continue the cycle. I chose to be someone else. Someone better. Sounds like you are doing the same thing Heather. You have chosen to rise above all that you were raised with, and that alone takes tremendous strength and courage. Don't let anyone take that away from you.

Also, remember this -- There is not a single person on this planet who can make you happy. Only YOU can do that! Me, personally, I choose to be happy!!!! Hugs and good wishes ~~~ Tracy

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. ~~ George Carlin
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl

4687 Posts

Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts

Posted - Nov 11 2009 :  12:27:04 PM  Show Profile  Send catscharm74 a Yahoo! Message
Yes...breaking the cylce...VERY important to me!!! : ) I consider myself "better" in terms that I am fully aware of myself and my own actions and am responsible for them.

Heather

"Hitch your wagon to a star"

http://somewheredownintexas-heather.blogspot.com
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CountryBorn
True Blue Farmgirl

1545 Posts

Mary Jane
New York
USA
1545 Posts

Posted - Nov 11 2009 :  2:51:55 PM  Show Profile
Well, sweetie you did just what I thought you would do! Delete and move on. You are getting so good at this stuff! Way to go for sure!

MJ

There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark
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goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl

1599 Posts

Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts

Posted - Nov 13 2009 :  11:27:09 AM  Show Profile
quote:
Originally posted by catscharm74



"Ok did you fall off the planet or what. I do not know what I did or did not do to piss you off, but its seems a goodbye was in order. I was going thru my contact list and if I do not hear back from you I guess I need to delete this address.
Brook is 6 months old now. Austin doing great, hows Charlie and Chloe. Doris"



http://somewheredownintexas-heather.blogspot.com



Okay, hopefully my quote came thru but I see this a bit differently than you girls. She says she doesn't know what she did to 'piss you off' (so classy, eh?). So, to my mind, that means she doesn't know. She sounds pretty cut and dried type of person and it might behoove you to let her know 'cut and dried' what happened. Perhaps she really doesn't know how she's affected you but it's obvious she's wondering.

As someone who can be too abrupt myself and reads things the wrong way, I would WANT to know why I hurt someone. If I could save the friendship, I'd do it. If not, at least she knows and it's a learning experience for her AND you.

To read funny stories about my cooking 'skills', please visit http://lostadventuresincooking.blogspot.com/

For uber-opinionated, pleasurable horse related reading, please visit http://horseinfoperson.blogspot.com/






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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl

4687 Posts

Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts

Posted - Nov 13 2009 :  12:01:27 PM  Show Profile  Send catscharm74 a Yahoo! Message
Winona- I get what you are saying. Honestly, she is not really so much cut and dry as she wants an answer when it fits HER schedule. When I was really sick, REALLY sick, with MONO last year, I called her 2x, desperate for a babysitter for Charlie over 1 weekend. I never had a babysitter let alone anyone help me out with him while Scott was away. I am not one to ask for help unless it is a very dire situation. She blew me off for 3 weeks, even after I saw and WAVED to her around town. I did ask her, politely, to call me back because I had a bit of an emergency situation. I ended up checking into the ER after dropping Charlie off at daycare at 7 in the morning, staying all day in the ER, until 4:30 and then checking myself out...just so I could get some rest and help...all the time worrying what the heck I would do if Charlie needed me. She then emailed me, 3 weeks later and asked me what was wrong. By then, I wasn't feeling great but I was doing my best. I told her I had mono and was really worn down and about my trip to the ER. I didn't ask for help or anything. She bluntly told me "Well...good luck with that." Then, 2 weeks later was whining to me in another email about how her daughter in law was so sick and she had to stay up all weekend helping her and could I pray for her because she is such a great Mom??? HUH??? I honestly really didn't care at that point to continue on with our friendship. I emailed her and told her I was hurt over it and she never answered back. We left for TN 5 weeks later. I think that was more than she needed to understand what she did wrong and I will not justify it again for her. I shoot straight too and if she doesn't get it the first time, I move on.

More background on this was she made an all out promise to Scott to watch out for me while he was deployed. Not having family, this was a big deal for Scott, so he could have a little less worry. In all the 17 months that I was on my own, this was the first time I ever asked for help. Usually, I just dealt with it.

Heather

"Hitch your wagon to a star"

http://somewheredownintexas-heather.blogspot.com
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Merry
True Blue Farmgirl

765 Posts

Merry
Ankeny Iowa
USA
765 Posts

Posted - Nov 13 2009 :  2:34:47 PM  Show Profile
I remember you talking about this lady, she really did let you down.

Merry
Farmgirl #536

http://iowafoodcoop.blogspot.com

http://afarminmyheart.blogspot.com/


Don't pray for a lighter load, pray for a stronger back.
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl

4687 Posts

Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts

Posted - Nov 13 2009 :  4:00:27 PM  Show Profile  Send catscharm74 a Yahoo! Message
Yes, Merry...she did. I can't let that kind of bad vibe into my life anymore.

Heather

"Hitch your wagon to a star"

http://somewheredownintexas-heather.blogspot.com
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goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl

1599 Posts

Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts

Posted - Nov 14 2009 :  09:07:13 AM  Show Profile
Okay, gotcha. Yep, I'd blow her off too.

To read funny stories about my cooking 'skills', please visit http://lostadventuresincooking.blogspot.com/

For uber-opinionated, pleasurable horse related reading, please visit http://horseinfoperson.blogspot.com/






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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl

4687 Posts

Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts

Posted - Nov 14 2009 :  09:55:09 AM  Show Profile  Send catscharm74 a Yahoo! Message
Winona..your answer made me laugh!!! LOL : )

Heather

"Hitch your wagon to a star"

http://somewheredownintexas-heather.blogspot.com
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