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Across the Fence:  What would you do?  |
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lilwing
True Blue Farmgirl
1403 Posts
Brooke
Fulshear
Texas
USA
1403 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 30 2009 : 09:19:50 AM
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If a friend (you've known since you were 15 years old) and you had a falling out, somehow.. you didn't know really how it happened exactly.. would you send her a note even though she won't respond? I read ruralfarmgirl rene's blog about lost friendship. It still hurts.. very badly. I'll admit that. We had a misunderstanding I think, and I felt I was being judged. She started changing when she married her husband really, and then she moved away. It started getting one-sided. But I still loved her. I tried calling her mom to say hello and see if her mom could tell her anything.. but still nothing. I felt like sending that blog of Rene's to her, and saying... for the record, forgive me if I hurt you! ... because I forgive you for being "cold"!
Why do I care? Still? I STILL care after all this time. It's so complex really... the strangest thing? My middle name is Alyson and right when she stopped talking to me.... she was having a baby...and she called her.... alyson!! I don't understand??? I don't get it!
You might as well had kicked me in the stomach for that one!
what would you do?
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http://nightbirdtrading.etsy.com
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melanie47601
True Blue Farmgirl
1949 Posts
Melanie
Boonville
IN
USA
1949 Posts |
Posted - Sep 30 2009 : 09:27:59 AM
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It is hard to lose a friend. I don't know if any of us can truly advise you on what to do. Know one knows you, your friend and your friendship better than the two of you. I would say- follow your heart. Do what it tells you to do. Sending lots of good thoughts and hugs your way.
Melanie
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, She's up!"
Blog~ http://wheelsarealwaysturning.blogspot.com/
Swap Blog~ http://mels-swapshop.blogspot.com/ |
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lilwing
True Blue Farmgirl
1403 Posts
Brooke
Fulshear
Texas
USA
1403 Posts |
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emsmommy5
True Blue Farmgirl
1547 Posts
Angie
Buckley
WA
USA
1547 Posts |
Posted - Sep 30 2009 : 10:19:59 AM
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I would also suggest following your heart. If your heart gave you the thought to send her a note... send it in love. Don't expect anything back. But you never know... you may get more than you could hope for.
Do what you love, love what you do. |
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Cabinprincess
True Blue Farmgirl
682 Posts
Melody June
Athens
TX
USA
682 Posts |
Posted - Sep 30 2009 : 11:24:29 AM
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I've had a best girlfriend since I was 4, we are now almost 54. We talk at least twice a month because she's in OR and I'm in TX. I cannot even imagine losing her friendship. I would bend over backwards to make it right if something was wrong, even if it were not my fault it would not matter. Good friendships are worth more than gold. If your heart says send a card, send two. Send a note saying how much you miss her friendship. If nothing comes back send one on special occasions like holidays and her Bday.
If the friendship gets put on hold for a year or two she will remember you are still there with those little reminders. Maybe it will heal maybe not, but you will always know you tried and won't have any regrets.
And of course talk to God about it, He can heal all things.
I'm really sorry this is happening in your life.
Smiles, Melody June
God's gift to you are your talents, your gift to Him is how you use them. |
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Diane B Carter
True Blue Farmgirl
1270 Posts
Diane
Blasdell
N.Y.
USA
1270 Posts |
Posted - Sep 30 2009 : 12:23:14 PM
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I agree with Melody, I would write a note asking what happened if you really don't know and say I just miss you so much can you forgive me? It may be that she just has a different life now and doesn't want to go back to the way it was, maybe she can't. All you can do now is be nice and open and you may need to move on and find different friends. A big HUG to you.
Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com |
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Betty J.
True Blue Farmgirl
1403 Posts
Betty
Pasco
WA
USA
1403 Posts |
Posted - Sep 30 2009 : 12:48:26 PM
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I have a best friend that lived in Portland, OR until her mother became ill and she moved back to LaCrosse, WI. I miss her so much. However, I call her and we can talk for hours (or until my phone peters out), but she never calls me. I don't think I'll stop calling her, but wish she would call me.
Betty in Pasco |
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lilwing
True Blue Farmgirl
1403 Posts
Brooke
Fulshear
Texas
USA
1403 Posts |
Posted - Sep 30 2009 : 1:07:36 PM
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Oh, I have different friends.. it's just that there was that certain kind of special friendship ...like Anne of Green Gables and "bosom buddies" ..lol... you know what I am talking about...you described it right here. She only moved to San Antonio area (New Braunfels) and had moved there from Dallas area and I am in Houston.. you girls are talking about bigger distances than that!
I did it. I wrote her .... and said the things we said here in this thread. I even showed her Rene's blog. Well, we'll see.
I don't expect a response. Whatever it was, it's not so much that she can't say anything at all. I told her I would never remain in silence.
We'll see. If not, then I pray God heals my heart someday. I told her that too.
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http://nightbirdtrading.etsy.com
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Miss2Missus
True Blue Farmgirl
407 Posts
Karen
Asheville
NC
USA
407 Posts |
Posted - Sep 30 2009 : 1:14:54 PM
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Women losing a true friend is one of the hardest things in life. A best friend is like a sister and first love wrapped in one. You never stop thinking about them. You should read the Myth of you and me. Its a great book on the subject. I lost my best friend years ago do to boy issues. Over the last couple years though shes learned that shes been forgiven. and we occasionally talk now. Its still weird. but we are also 8 hours apart. But if i hadnt been persistent about it we wouldnt even have that now. I think you should deffesntly write her. Maybe she will even surprise you and write back. At the very least though you'll finally feel you've said your peace to her.
Karen ^_^
http://apple-and-eve.blogspot.com/ |
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lilwing
True Blue Farmgirl
1403 Posts
Brooke
Fulshear
Texas
USA
1403 Posts |
Posted - Sep 30 2009 : 1:23:22 PM
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I do feel good about it. I think I did the right thing. I have written her before but I don't think I said what I did now. I am not obsessed or anything weird like that. I am glad you all can understand and I feel better about talking here about it. Thank you so much, girls. Nothing like a farmgirl sisterhood, indeed!
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http://nightbirdtrading.etsy.com
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Diane B Carter
True Blue Farmgirl
1270 Posts
Diane
Blasdell
N.Y.
USA
1270 Posts |
Posted - Sep 30 2009 : 2:31:37 PM
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I moved 40 miles but it may as well been 4000 miles. My BF & I talk sometimes on the phone, E-mail every now and then, we do try to get together 1 or 2 times a year. She is still my best friend and I hers. She would drive past the store to pick me up to go to the store with her. Everyone said you never see Diane with out the other Diane by her. We were together for almost everyday of at least 20 years. But when I moved we both just got busy with our own lives. Sometimes it's hard but I bet that it is nothing to get upset over. Life changes and not always for the best. Her husband says he even misses me. Keep the lines of communication open thats about all you can do. Have a great day,
Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com |
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Merry
True Blue Farmgirl
765 Posts
Merry
Ankeny
Iowa
USA
765 Posts |
Posted - Sep 30 2009 : 3:05:34 PM
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Wouldn't you do just about anything to make it right? Does it matter what happened? You miss her, tell her. Some people have a hard time making the first move, but in the end, really, does it matter? You can still love her and let her know, even if she doesn't write back.
Merry
Farmgirl #536
http://afarminmyheart.blogspot.com/
"Nobody has ever measured, not even poets how much the heart can hold."
Zelda Fitzgerald |
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laurzgot
True Blue Farmgirl
1678 Posts
Laurie
Alvin
Texas
USA
1678 Posts |
Posted - Sep 30 2009 : 5:18:13 PM
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I'm glad that you followed your heart and told your friend how you felt. It does hurt to lose a best friend, but it also feels good to have told her everything.
Hugs,
Laurie
suburban countrygirl at heart |
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Calicogirl
True Blue Farmgirl
5216 Posts
Sharon
Bruce Crossing
Michigan
USA
5216 Posts |
Posted - Sep 30 2009 : 5:44:40 PM
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Brooke,
I am so sorry that you have been hurt. I think you did the right thing by sending a note trying to make ammends. Even if it doesn't work out (which I hope that it does) at least you know in your heart that you did whatever you could and you did the right thing. I am praying for healing for you.
~Sharon
By His Grace, For His Glory
http://merryheartjournal.blogspot.com/ |
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lilwing
True Blue Farmgirl
1403 Posts
Brooke
Fulshear
Texas
USA
1403 Posts |
Posted - Sep 30 2009 : 6:17:18 PM
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Thank you so much..all of you. It helps to know you are praying..as I am... I would like this hurt to be gone.. and over..and if she doesn't write back.. then I can move on in peace. I have no idea why I keep getting stuck about it. I guess that happens when you love someone like a sister. I always will. I have three sisters but at one point, she was closer than them. It will be as it should be..Like Rene said... Be who you are, and be that well. Thanks, Rene. You reached alot more than you knew!
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http://nightbirdtrading.etsy.com
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Brenda Kay Groth
True Blue Farmgirl
100 Posts
Brenda
Manton
MIch
USA
100 Posts |
Posted - Oct 01 2009 : 07:34:32 AM
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i would never accuse her of boing cold..but yes..send her some nice cards..and sign them love..or with love...send them out occasionally..not all at once..and if no response comes..at least you have been true to your heart.
never expect a friend to explain..
bloom where you are planted |
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lilwing
True Blue Farmgirl
1403 Posts
Brooke
Fulshear
Texas
USA
1403 Posts |
Posted - Oct 01 2009 : 07:49:24 AM
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Well, I didn't accuse her of being cold. I didn't use those words, so don't worry... ... I don't have her address anymore. She moved.... but I did send email. If nothing comes of it, I did what I could and I have peace with it.
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http://nightbirdtrading.etsy.com
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lilwing
True Blue Farmgirl
1403 Posts
Brooke
Fulshear
Texas
USA
1403 Posts |
Posted - Oct 02 2009 : 7:24:56 PM
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Hey, girls.... Well, Your prayers and wonderful advice helped..... She responded. It does my heart good. I can say I think we are on the path to healing this friendship hopefully and I do thank God for it. And thank you all too. You were a tremendous helping factor in the decision to contact her. I really appreciate all you farmgirls.
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http://nightbirdtrading.etsy.com
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MissLiss
Farmgirl Legend Schoolmarm
322 Posts
Melissa
Corona
CA
USA
322 Posts |
Posted - Oct 02 2009 : 9:02:09 PM
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Yipee! I'm glad that it worked out and I'm glad that you two can try to *fix* your friendship. When things like that happen and time goes by, sometimes you don't even remember what it was about in the first place and you're holding a grudge because you think you should. But it only takes a humble "I'm sorry" for people to snap out of it sometimes. I'm glad it seems like that was the case here! Good luck mending your bosom buddy-ness!
Melissa ~ Farmgirl #724
Use it up, Wear it out, Make it do, Or go without! |
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Across the Fence: What would you do? |
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What would you do?
