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Holidays:  Holidays without loved ones.  |
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MBurns
True Blue Farmgirl
1794 Posts
Marlene
Swisher
IA
USA
1794 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 25 2009 : 8:34:15 PM
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My church holds a blue holiday service for people who have lost someone and are sad around the holidays. They read a book named Stone soup and everyone lights a candle for their loved one and says their name and a little about them. I have attended the last couple of years and it is a place you can reflect and remember loved ones.
Happiness is having
farmgirl friends. |
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Roxy7
True Blue Farmgirl
1083 Posts
Robin
Denver
CO
USA
1083 Posts |
Posted - Dec 26 2009 : 07:43:50 AM
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| Marlene, that would be awesome. I should ask at church if they do that. |
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1badmamawolf
True Blue Farmgirl
2199 Posts
Teresa
"Bent Fence Farms"
Ca
USA
2199 Posts |
Posted - Dec 27 2009 : 5:53:32 PM
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This was my 3rd Christmas with out my hubby, and I think it was tuffer than last year. I was still awake at midnight on Christmas eve, ( which is way past my bedtime), and when I realized that it was actually Christmas day, I burst into tears. Jerry would, every year at that time, (don't know how he woke up on his own year after year) , slightly wake me, take my face into his hands, kiss me and tell me "Merry Christmas Mrs Reitmajer", he did that for 33 yrs, never missed one, sigh..., he was such a big ( he was 6'7", 285 lbs of pure muscled man)tuff Harley riding, diesel fixing, ranching, gentle as a lamb and as protective as a alpha wolf protecting his pack, the most wonderful Dad, and the best G/pa on this planet, and I miss him more than ever, and I'm MAD, its not fair that MY MAN is gone, he did not deserve this, and neither did his family. I will go on, and I know it will get easier, i just don't know why NOW, it is again hurting my heart so very, very much. I feel so raw and wounded, and I don't know how to stop this feeling of utter pain. I am telling you all this, in case this happens to one of you who has loved and lost anyone, so when its your time to feel this way, you know you are not alone, and never will be. God Bless you all.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
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Roxy7
True Blue Farmgirl
1083 Posts
Robin
Denver
CO
USA
1083 Posts |
Posted - Dec 27 2009 : 7:28:37 PM
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Teresa,
I am sorry. I know how it is. Life doesnt seem fair sometimes. When you look for fairness it can be hard to find. I just think there are reasons we cant understand.
This is from my motherless daughters yahoo group. Its a pretty poem and I dont know who wrote it. It makes me cry, but its appropriate.
Merry Christmas from Heaven,
As I look down on you tonight.
I will always be with you,
forever holding you tight.
As Christmas nears, I know you are blue,
But don't cry for me darling,
There is nothing more you can do.
You've done everything you could for me,
While I was on the earth,
And for that I thank you my darling,
You don't know what it was worth.
But as I celebrate my first Christmas in Heaven,
I look down on you and see,
The many things ,
That you are of me.
So don't cry my darling,
You have the best present yet,
You have me in you,
And that's something you'll never forget.
This is a poem my niece sent me to read at my brothers funeral. It makes me cry, but makes me feel better at the same time.
When tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see.
If the sun should rise and find your eyes, all filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn't cry, the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things we never got to say.
I know how much you love me, as much as I love you..
And each time that you think of me, please know I miss you too
But when tomorrow starts without me, Please try to understand..
An angel came and called my name and took me by the hand,
It seemed my place was ready - In Heaven far above,
and that I'd have to leave behind, all those I dearly loved..
But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye.
For all of life, I'd always thought, I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for, so much yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you..
I thought of all the yesterdays, the good ones and the bad..
I thought of all the love we shared, and how much fun we had..
If I could relive yesterday, just even for a while,
I'd say goodbye, then kiss you ‘til I saw that special smile..
But then I fully realized, that it could never be,
'Cause emptiness and memories, would take the place of me.
And when I thought of all those things, I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow. .
But when I walked through Heaven's gates, I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me, From his great & golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity, and all I've promised you.
Today your life on Earth is past, but here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last,
and since each day is the same day, there's no longing for the past. .
But you have been so faithful, so trusting and so true,
Though there were some times you did some things you shouldn't do. .
But you have been forgiven, and now at last you're free,
So come and take me by the hand, and share my life with me.."
So when tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me, I'll be right here - in your Heart..
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1badmamawolf
True Blue Farmgirl
2199 Posts
Teresa
"Bent Fence Farms"
Ca
USA
2199 Posts |
Posted - Dec 27 2009 : 7:55:59 PM
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Robin, thank you so very much for that, althou I did have a hellava time reading it thru my tears, it was very worth it my friend.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
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cheneygal
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Suzie
Cheney
Wa.
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - Dec 27 2009 : 8:20:54 PM
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Teresa, I too awoke early (just after midnight), and realized it was Christmas and burst into tears.....my first Christmas, and your third, I thought it was supposed to get better, and I am sure it will in time. Funny how it hits you out of nowhere, when you least expect it, but you have also told me that. We lost our Mom 3 yrs. ago the 30th., I feel awful about it, but all I can think about is my loss of Pete. Robin, I thank you also for the beautiful poems, and I'll "ditto" what Teresa said!!! I'm thinking about you both and send my love and would hug ya both if I could!!
live, laugh, love |
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1badmamawolf
True Blue Farmgirl
2199 Posts
Teresa
"Bent Fence Farms"
Ca
USA
2199 Posts |
Posted - Dec 27 2009 : 9:22:17 PM
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Suzie, back at ya girl, you all will always be in my thoughts and prayers, and cyber hugs are almost as good, lol.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
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cheneygal
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Suzie
Cheney
Wa.
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - Dec 30 2009 : 7:29:18 PM
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Thanks, Teresa, for the cyber hugs, you're right, they're almost as good as the real thing. As before, I thank you gals for all your support, love and prayers the last few months, you have become my second family, and if I want, I can chat with you all every day, how lucky is that??!! Let's all have a good New Years Eve, and, a good New Year to come. Hope you're all keeping busy, I find that's what is best for me....sure I sat down tonight in DH's recliner, for the first time, loved on our dog and cried my eyes out for a few minutes....but had a great day...I was cookin' up a storm at 7:30 this a.m., and didn't finish up till about 1:00 this afternoon. Pete's youngest son, wife and their 2 little ones are coming to spend New Year's Eve with me....staying till Sunday, I'm pretty tickled they want to drive 8 hrs. and spend the holiday with me!! This next year is a new chapter for all of us, I say lets try and make it a great one, and keep this thread going!! Love you all!!
live, laugh, love |
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1badmamawolf
True Blue Farmgirl
2199 Posts
Teresa
"Bent Fence Farms"
Ca
USA
2199 Posts |
Posted - Dec 30 2009 : 7:33:49 PM
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With each passing year we get alittle stronger with help from the memories and spirits of our lost loved ones, family and friends. I keep you girls who have lost in my hearts everyday, there will always be a place for you all there. Thank you all so much for listening to my stories of my hubby, I lost a big chunk of my heart and my soul when I lost him, but you all have helped them heal a little and for that I will always be grateful.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
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Aunty Krys
Farmgirl in Training
21 Posts
Krystal
Vancouver
Wa
USA
21 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2010 : 4:11:07 PM
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Roxy, thank you so much for the beautiful words! I was sitting here missing my momma--we lost her 2 years ago on my birthday in November so this part of the year has been especially difficult. Those poems went straight to the heart of things and sounded so much like what she would say that it truly brought tears to my eyes but eased some of the ache. Thank you!
Be the person your dog thinks you are. |
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Roxy7
True Blue Farmgirl
1083 Posts
Robin
Denver
CO
USA
1083 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2010 : 10:36:57 PM
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Krystal, you are welcome.
I lost my Dad one year ago today. It was so sudden. My dad was 85 and had in his late 40's had a construction accident where he fell off a building, 3 stories onto cement and ice. The Priest gave him Last Rites....and he pulled through with 2 broken legs and 7 btoken ribs and all that goes with a fall like that.....and yet he recovered. He had been living with a lot of pain. In spite of all that, he was still larger than life. If I thought anyone I knew would live forever, it would have been my Dad. I miss him a lot. I lost my mom so many years ago, that I knew I was lucky to have my dad. Now with them both gone, it just seems so strange to be at the top of my family chain. I guess we all get there eventually...buty its still weird. |
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cheneygal
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Suzie
Cheney
Wa.
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - Feb 12 2010 : 9:13:31 PM
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None of you Farmgirl sisters have posted here for so long, thought it was time to check up on all of you!! We all made it through the Christmas holidays, the New Year, and here it is almost Valentines Day......I'm hoping that each of you have a wonderful day.....and remember the memories you cherish most about your lost loved ones!! I know I'll be doing that. I know I have every little card my dh gave me each Valentine Day, whether it was with a bouquet of flowers, or just a pretty card, I'm going to gather them all up and just look at them, and enjoy them!! Hope you all can do the same.
live, laugh, love |
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Roxy7
True Blue Farmgirl
1083 Posts
Robin
Denver
CO
USA
1083 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2010 : 10:02:18 PM
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| Suzie, thanks for posting. I have noticed its gotten quiet inthis thread...maybe thats means folks are in a good place right now. We are meeting my brother in the morning for the Chinese New year celebration. I have never been one for New Years day...and since my dad died on Jan 2, 2009, we have decided that our New Years will be the Chinese version! They have dancing dragons and fireworks and all sorts of things. Fells better to celebrate it a month later anyhow! |
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1badmamawolf
True Blue Farmgirl
2199 Posts
Teresa
"Bent Fence Farms"
Ca
USA
2199 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2010 : 4:08:24 PM
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Suzie, waking up this morn brought back tears for wonderful memories and for a loss that will never go completly away.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
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cheneygal
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Suzie
Cheney
Wa.
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 7:45:35 PM
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Teresa, you never fail to bring tears to my eyes. I tried before work on Valentines Day to read some of the cards my dh had given me, but couldn't do it....had a handle on things by evening and read them all before bed. You are right, that loss will never completely go away....so many wonderful memories.
live, laugh, love |
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Holidays: Holidays without loved ones. |
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Holidays without loved ones.
