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Here's to Your Health:  so tired of trying to be the "perfect" girl  |
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prairie_princess
True Blue Farmgirl
613 Posts
Elizabeth
Carpenter
WY
USA
613 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 31 2009 : 4:40:57 PM
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i will be 29 in december and my mind is so tired of keeping up with trying to create the "perfect" body. i just don't want to care anymore. as long as i can remember, i've had a bad body image of myself even though i'm within my "healthy weight." I'm short, so i think that has something to do with it, shorter people have to weigh less in order to look skinny than taller people.
I want to accept my body the way it is! i don't mean giving up a healthy lifestyle... i want to excercise and eat as well as i can. but i feel society pressures women to feel guilty if we don't do certain types of workouts or eat a certain way. it gets so tireing and frustrating after awhile to keep up with it... i feel guilty all the time if i don't work out for an hour and do hard excercise. or if i eat foods most diets consider "bad." i rarely eat fast food!
i also can't keep up with comparing myself to other women... i hate the fact that i will be working hard to be healthy, but am bigger than my sisters-in-law who don't workout and finish off a full plate of pasta when we go out to eat and are STILL as skinny as a rail!
i'm also a farmgirl who works hard... that's my main problem right now. my hubby and i have been performing hard manual labor during the week before he goes to work. we are building a garage. last week my body was so tired from manually digging post holes, i wasn't about to excercise afterward! but i still feel guilty because i didn't work the lower part of my body and don't have perfect abs... my DH says the work we farmgirls do almost everyday is enough to keep our bodies healthy when we grow older. he doesn't think we should be supermodels by any means and as long as we are working and moving our bodies, we should be fine.
but it's terribly hard to get out of the mindset that women are only healthy if they look a certain way.
i just wanted to hear some of your thoughts on this subject. i refuse to diet, i don't believe they are healthy. i don't want to feel guilty anymore for not being perfect!
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
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1badmamawolf
True Blue Farmgirl
2199 Posts
Teresa
"Bent Fence Farms"
Ca
USA
2199 Posts |
Posted - Jul 31 2009 : 5:34:41 PM
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Wow, I am sorry that you have been feeling this way about yourself. I think you should go in and have a complete exam by your Dr. and tell him/her exactly what you said here, and see what they say about it. I think hearing someone else, a professional would help. You self esteen needs a boost, and a Dr would give you that healthy one. Listen to your hubby, I'm sure he is also right about you, since he probally knows you better than most.I hate that this country/society has put this in the minds of girls and young women.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
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Diane B Carter
True Blue Farmgirl
1270 Posts
Diane
Blasdell
N.Y.
USA
1270 Posts |
Posted - Jul 31 2009 : 6:10:54 PM
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Do what makes you happy. I don't look in mirrors, I'm not ugly just a plain Jane but if I look in mirrors I feel ugly, I don't wear make-up because I would have to look in a mirror. I don't diet and I'm 5'7" I was 5'8 1/2" but I'm shrinking height wise belly wise is growing at 170#. I do what I can I will not go above a size 14 I hope. I have some tiny friends but they all smoke and will be dead long before me,coughing all the way out. I eat choclate, I'll probley die from sweets but I'll die happy. If your worried about your body take a trip to Typhoon Lagoon, I think it's part of Disney land in Flordia. I was scared to see how I looked & felt in a swim-suit. My sons & I had a great time and I felt like I fit right in I was thankful there was plenty of heavy girls/ladies who were also having a great time.
I think God makes us the size he wants us to be. Some are small, some are tall, the tall ones complain about being tall the short ones complain about being small. Smile and thank God you are healthy.
Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Jul 31 2009 : 6:55:42 PM
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What a great husband you have, Elizabeth! He sounds like he has the best advice of all. If he's happy with you than I'm sure you are "perfect" enough. It sounds like you definetely get the work outs, too. Maybe while you're out there working on the farm and don't feel like you're working your lower body, just do some squats and bends. But goodness, it sounds like you are healthy and happy and get plenty of good ole farmgirl workouts all day. I would not be worried at all if I were you. Sounds like you've got it covered.
And give the old man a pat on the back for me. He's a keeper for sure! We all need more men in our lives that love us just like we are and are proud of us for not trying to be like all these skinny starved super models that are killing them selves just for money. I like to eat and I feel like I work off a lot of what I eat. I tend to not eat much when I am busy in the garden or working around my place. I drink lots of water and try to watch what I eat. But I also do alot around here.
So keep doing what you're doing and stop looking at your SIL's. I have found that skinny people are not the healthiest. My sister is way smaller than me but she is always sick and goes to the doctor constantly for this or that. Not me.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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prariehawk
True Blue Farmgirl
2914 Posts
Cindy
2914 Posts |
Posted - Jul 31 2009 : 7:43:17 PM
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Elizabeth--it was sometime back in the twenties or thirties, I believe, that the advertising industry stated that their mission was to make women unhappy with their bodies so they would buy more beauty products. True story. Sadly, they've succeeded beyond their wildest dreams. When i was in my early twenties, I wanted to be thin so bad that I ran six miles a day and cut my caloric intake to about 400 calories a day. I was thin, but that was the problem--I was anorexic and didn't know it. It was a very scary feeling, one I can't really describe. When I started binge eating and gained the weight back, I felt awful but that was the start of my healing. Now I'm in my forties and don't compare myself to other women cause hey, this is me, and I'm alive and not starving myself anymore. I've no doubt that if I'd remained anorexic, I wouldn't be alive today. You sound like a healthy twenty-nine year old and for that, be grateful. No one is "perfect", not even those Hollywood actresses--Marilyn Monroe weighed 135 lbs. and is considered one of the sexiest women of all time. And Helen of Troy "the face that launched a thousand ships" , was said to be quite large. Please realize that this culture is deliberately trying to make you unhappy with yourself, and then stand up and say "I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore!" As long as you're healthy that's all that matters. cause as they say "When you've got your health, you've got just about everything". Please, please, please don't judge yourself by this culture's standards, cause they're not real. PS--please feel free to e-mail me.
Cindy |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Jul 31 2009 : 8:58:18 PM
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Elizabeth:
I say to be who you want to be and to love who you truly are. All of this nonsense about being skinny like the so called models. Forget that, I say. I would never want to look like a railing. No way! Some of the pictures I see in magazines, when I even look at one, is appalling. The models faces are so thin and just bad looking to me. Did you ever notice their arms. Nothing but bones. No way! Don't allow this culture and the magazines to make you unhappy.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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Hosanna
True Blue Farmgirl
466 Posts
Hosanna
Alton
Virginia
466 Posts |
Posted - Aug 01 2009 : 06:20:21 AM
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| Hey, Elizabeth. I've seen your pics on your blog and I think you look great! I used to be like a size 4 in my early 20's; then when I got engaged and then married, I gained 10 lbs!! All in my lower body. So I had to go buy new pants in the next couple of sizes. I resented not being able to stay thin eating whatever I wanted like I used to, and the changes that happen to women physically as you approach 30. (I am 28 now.) Plus I have friends who go to gyms and work out, and run three miles a day and are teeeeeny tiny. Plus, they live in cities, and don't do much "manual labor". (let's face it - to live on a farm, you have to be a little buff.) But I would have to drive a total of one hour each day in order to work out at a gym, and I just can't do it. I do try to jog a few times a week; plus all my farmgirl chores and horse barn chores. Then my friends said chores didn't count for excersise? What do they know, huh? Anyway, I have to let it go on a daily basis. I eat healthy, excersise, and my husband likes the way I look. That is enough for me. I also try to not look at a lot of fashion magazines and dwell on scrawny models. Some of them are downright unhealthy. So, don't feel bad that you don't look like a model on tv, that's not reality. And I am preaching to myself here, too. |
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prairie_princess
True Blue Farmgirl
613 Posts
Elizabeth
Carpenter
WY
USA
613 Posts |
Posted - Aug 01 2009 : 08:32:34 AM
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wow! i'm surprised by all the replies and support! thanks so much!
teresa - i don't go to doctors if i don't have to, other than my yearly exam. i believe doctors are in on this whole scam, as cindy mentioned, to make money from our fears. even when i was in the navy, having to keep up with their excercise and unreal physical standards, the docs were STILL complaining about something! i have naturally higher cholesterol from genetics and the doctors had the gaul to ASSUME i wasn't taking care of myself.... "you shouldn't be eating whatever you want" is what they said without even asking me how i ate. in reality i ate better than my husband. they gave me a list of what foods i should replace and those were the foods i was actually eating, not what they THOUGHT i was eating! i'd like to be able to trust doctors, but every time i go, it seems they deliberately search out something to put me on pills for. and truth be told, i rarely get sick... last time i got sick was this march but before that i hadn't been sick in any way, shape or form for almost 3 years! so maybe i am healthier than i think.... that would be nice.
diane - i had a similar situation not long ago... i went to wet 'n wild a couple months ago, terrified out of my mind! but in the end, i had a pretty good time. i was amazed how many young girls went all out and actually put waterproof makeup on to the waterpark in order to look perfect! that was a little unnerving...
kristin - i do thank my lucky stars for my hubby.... i know many husbands, including my dad, who nag their wives to be a certain way. if i could replace my insecureties because of his praise, i'd be set!
cindy - thank you so much for sharing your personal story... i did a research paper in college about the thin ideal of our society and discovered alot of this information... it's all a ploy to sell products, which is so very sad. i'm a part of a few groups who keep track of these ploys and try to do something about it. sometimes when i'm feeling down, i will look at the art from the rennaisance times when women were painted as they naturally were and think of marilyn monroe and such.... i think at least my body was revered at some point in history.
marly - i can't look at those magazines anymore, either. i'll stick with mary jane, country, and country living where it's not focused on what women look like!
hosanna - are you sure it was my blog? i havn't contributed to it in such a long time... i know there is another "prairie princess" on here. i think those friends who havn't done farm chores should try it... they'd be surprised. i was surprised how sore i was after weeding the first few times till i built those muscles up! i would also have to drive forever to go to a gym, and it's not worth it to me to pay so much money to go to a place to work out. i buy workout tapes and they suit me just fine... but i prefer doing farm chores!
again, thank you ladies for your input! it's just what i was needing! a huge part of my problem is i have an upcoming wedding in september where i'm a bridesmaid to my future sister-in-law. i needed to make a choice of whether or not i was going to kill myself this month to try and look fantastic in the bridesmaid dress. but i'm so tired of doing this... i had a wedding in march (when i was sick!) where i was a bridesmaid, too and killed myself to get thinner. in the end, i still didn't like what i looked like in the pictures. and i was very unhappy in the end to try to be someone i wasn't... so maybe for this wedding i'll just be "me"....
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Aug 01 2009 : 08:39:52 AM
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I spent my teens trying to live up to a body image as dictated by my family and the high school snobs.
I spent my early 20's trying to live up to a body image as dictated by the military.
I spent my late 20's trying to live up to a body image as dictated by society.
I am spending my 30's and the rest of my life enjoying some good food AND good health...on my terms.
I hope you can find some balance. Dump the magazines, tv shows, avoid the malls as much as possible and find the balance you. She is in there girl and you can find her. I am sending you healthy wishes!!! : )
Heather
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Aug 01 2009 : 08:46:09 AM
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Oh Elizabeth! Your post made me flash back to high school (and still to some degree, now) and how I feel about my body. In high school I was never happy with my body- not even when I was playing soccer and had just about as toned a body as you can get with out lifting weights several times a week and purposefully going for the "cut" type body.
Today I am must softer and have extra pounds. I would like to lose some weight but a couple of years ago I realized it has to be because I want to be healthy and not because of a pants size or because of what anyone else wants or thinks. I think you are on the right path. You want to leave behind those feelings that negative and counter productive. *hugs*
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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Annika
True Blue Farmgirl
5602 Posts
Annika
USA
5602 Posts |
Posted - Aug 01 2009 : 09:15:36 AM
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Be who you are sweetie! The fashion and beauty industry is wicked and makes us all feel like we should look like stick women. I want to lose 40 odd pounds to look and be healthy, but I'm not going to go mad with the desire to look like a stick. Learn to love YOU and the rest will follow.
*hugs*
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
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pinkroses
True Blue Farmgirl
2350 Posts
Sheila
Virginia
USA
2350 Posts |
Posted - Aug 01 2009 : 10:56:37 AM
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Elizabeth
I too am sorry you are feeling this way
I agree with what you said about society.
they are hurting younger girls with this perfect body style
when I have to go and get clothes
I am sick of the stuff of young teens/ young women/ and / skinnie mini clothes.
Most of today's women are not built that way;
no matter what today's society try to tell us.
I am in my 50's
I was not fat as a child ; but not skinny
in grammar school I was heavy
in my late teens I got walking phenumiona(sp)
I lost a bunch of weight
I was out of school for almost a month
People couldn't believe how much weight I lost
I keep it off until I married in my early 20's
I stated gaining it back when I had my son.
I am struggling to lose more weight
I have lost some.
Point;
don't try to be what society thinks you should be.
Be what you think you should be.
If you are happy and are at a normal weight for "Your idle" not someone eleses than go for it.
Life is to short to worry about what other people think
I have long ago got over that.
Hugs sheila
www.ohkayteagirl2.blogspot.com
http;//www.sheilascreativewritings.blogspot.com |
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Mother Hen
True Blue Farmgirl
604 Posts
Cindy
Peck
ID
USA
604 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2009 : 09:39:39 AM
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Elizabeth, I think you've come to the 'right' decision! You have to be happy with YOU.
I was skinny as a kid and got married the first time @ 21y/o then started to put on some weight. I continued to struggle with weight during my whole first marriage 14 1/2 yrs. After my divorce I lost tons of weight, I was thrilled with my size, but not my personal life. I started to eat again. I put on weight, found my new husband and even added some more weight. He isn't as happy with my weight, but it sure comes in handy when I have to use my body for leverage when changing a tractor tire or something like that. I'm "alright" with my weight, I could stand to lose a little, but I'm happy in my life and that's much more important to me! My husband's real issue with weight is his own but he transfers his dislike of his body to "we need to lose weight".
Most of the time I just don't let it get to me. I work hard on the ranch, I'm happy with my life, and I seem to stay a constant weight which is more healthy than yo-yo'ing your weight. I usually only get sick once a year and it's sinus issues.
Bottom line: A friend of mine told me this and it's really true, she said "I'd rather be overweight and happy then skinny and unhappy".
That is my motto for my life now.
I hope you can get over what others perceive as the "perfect body" and just be happy with who you are and your life.
(BTW: I'm only 5'4 1/2" tall and according to the "charts" I'm about 70lbs over their "ideal weight")
God Bless you,
Cindy
FARMGIRLS CAN DO ANYTHING!!!
I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth. Psalms 34:1 |
Edited by - Mother Hen on Aug 02 2009 09:43:21 AM |
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whymsicalmysfit
True Blue Farmgirl
52 Posts
jaime
malden
washington
USA
52 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2009 : 10:52:33 AM
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Dude! You need some possitve affirmations.. WE ARE NOT OUR BODIES!! I am here to tell ya through possitive affirmations you can change your life "Part of self acceptance is RELEASING other peoples opinion of you"~ Louise Hay.. man you are here on the planet TO EXPRESS WHO WE ARE- there are too many other things to wrap your mind around, you are what you are man your eating good food, your workin your butt off! Give your self credit girl. I completely understand man I have been a "bigger" person all my life & have thin sisters and within the last 3 yrs ive lost 130 lbs or so... but man Ill tell ya once I started the mental work is when my weight started falling off me.. I had to visualize the me I wanted to be and BELIEVE that I am who I think I am, a beautiful artistic woman! I was always physically pushing my self and I would feel good but not change.. not until I realized completely "WE ARE MEANT TO BE DIFFERENT,WHEN WE CAN ACCEPT THIS,THEN THERE IS NO COMPETITION AND NO COMPARISON" - Louise L Hay "You can heal your life" You should buy this book It changed my life .
Hope this helps!
"May all your weeds be wildflowers"
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Edited by - whymsicalmysfit on Aug 02 2009 10:55:34 AM |
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Hosanna
True Blue Farmgirl
466 Posts
Hosanna
Alton
Virginia
466 Posts |
Posted - Aug 03 2009 : 08:43:38 AM
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| yeah, I think your'e right, I have you mixed up with someone else's blog..... sorry about that. I am just a little scatterbrained these days.............nevertheless........... |
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prairie_princess
True Blue Farmgirl
613 Posts
Elizabeth
Carpenter
WY
USA
613 Posts |
Posted - Aug 03 2009 : 8:54:03 PM
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that's ok hosanna... i might post my pic at the "what do you look like?" thread at "across the fence"
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
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Woodswoman
True Blue Farmgirl
512 Posts
Jennifer
Altamont
NY
USA
512 Posts |
Posted - Aug 05 2009 : 6:28:52 PM
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Elizabeth,
Oh, do I hear you!!!!! I've been having a lot of the same struggles.
In my head, I know my weight is just fine-well within the normal range.
But, my body image has been terrible for a long time, so it isn't always easy for me to remember that. I refuse to go to the gym when there is so much physical work to do here. Believe it or not, we are also in the process of building a garage, and a honey house/sugar shack!
Some things that help me get through it are concentrating on being healthy instead of a certain size. Also, I started taking yoga classes at a yoga studio-my instructor was wonderful. It actually made me start appreciating my body and what it can do even more. Plus it felt good to get all "stretched"!
Take good care of yourself!
Jennifer
Farmgirl Sister #104
"Nature brings to every time and season some beauties of its own".
-Charles Dickens |
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prairie_princess
True Blue Farmgirl
613 Posts
Elizabeth
Carpenter
WY
USA
613 Posts |
Posted - Aug 05 2009 : 10:02:18 PM
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jennifer, i do love yoga, too! i miss being able to go to classes (to conserve money, i buy videos). i was absolutely wiped out today by this week.... a week of hard work on the garage, weeding, and i fit two hard exercise workouts in. i'm ready for some downtime.... thank you for your story and tips!
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
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HeatherAnn
True Blue Farmgirl
187 Posts
Heather
Rancho Cucamonga
CA
USA
187 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2009 : 10:55:16 PM
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Elizabeth,
I know all of us girls have so much to say on the matter. And here's my two cents:
When I was a teenager I had terrible panic attacks trying to be "perfect". I imagined that if I was thin enough and pretty enough and had great hair and great clothes life would be amazing. I acheived as near to that as I could ever be. I had done a bit of modeling and was persuing an acting career. I even had an agent. And nothing changed. Nothing at all. All the hopes I had put into being thin were let down. I was just as sad, just as lonely, just as unhappy with who I was and what I looked like.
So, a lot has happened since then. I am now the mother of two. I had a c-section with my second six weeks ago. Thanks to that c-section I have a flabby tummy that has a good chance of never going away. With my second pregnancy I got a whole bunch of stretch marks. And in my current place in life, I'm kinda proud of my body. I earned these stretch marks and this tummy. It's seems silly to say it, but I do feel that way. And if all this had happened to me 10 years ago, I would be selling everything to save up for some pastic surgery. Or doing something to escape, like drinking.
OK. So here's what I think has changed my self image and my self acceptance:
1. God - if you don't know the guy, try Him out, He's completely, utterly and just amazing. In everyway.
2. Stop watching TV, put away the beauty magazines and if you live near a city, don't look at the bill boards. A few years ago my husband and I decided that too much of our lives were wasted on TV and mindless nothingness. We wanted to play board games at night. I wanted to knit, he wanted to play guitar. We wanted to read books, together. So, we cut the cord and haven't looked back since. It's incredible. At first, maybe even the first year or so, I didn't notice the effect this had on me and my body image. But I did notice that if I looked at a magazine or watched TV at a friends or relatives house I would want to change something about how I looked. In the day or two following my exposure to TV or magazines, I would invariably want to go buy new make-up or new clothes or change my hair. But I realized that it was the ads. Left on my own, with just my family and friends sharing their opinions and seeing real people in the real world, like the mall, I was totally ok with myself. I like how I look, even with a tummy. It's shocking really given my old opinions.
3. Surround yourself with people who aren't consumed with how they look. I fell out of friendships with girls who are consumed with how they look, sadly. But, it has been really good for me. The girls I see a lot now aren't worried about it so much. They try to be healthy, like playing soccer. And my husband, well he's got a little flub and he's proud of his body. And he really likes my somewhat rounder shape.
Oh I hope this helps. I hope one day you can have an old friend say that she doesn't feel pressured to look a certain way around you. And I hope you find that in a friend too.
Here's praying for you,
HeatherAnn
"You got to look at all the good on one side and all the bad on the other and say 'Well, alright then.'" - Aunt Eller, Oklahoma
www.plumblossomknits.etsy.com |
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Montrose Girl
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm
1360 Posts
Laurie
Montrose
CO
1360 Posts |
Posted - Aug 16 2009 : 06:37:34 AM
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Elizabeth, Chin up and hang in there. I went through the same thing. In high school I was all prepared to go into the Air Force. Got a scholarship for college and off I joined ROTC. I was pretty much hounded my entire two years. Being shorter plays with the scale. There was a girl in the year before me that ended up dropping because she was "heavy". I couldn't believe it and was scared to death because I was bigger than her. Between soph and junior year you are supposed to go off to camp. Well I didn't get to go and that pretty much ended my Air force career. Too heavy at 138. It threw me for a loop because I was studying engineering. Everything fell apart, I switched majors and never did finish. Three years later I signed up for the Army. Fortunately the Coast Guard saw my scores and got me instead, or maybe not, sea sickness. They did a tape test. Checking you bone structure. I still couldn't get in the Air Force and felt pretty useless. As with everything in this spiral of self image, life was not fun. Now, in my 40s I am going back to school for what I want and will complete my degree this spring. Keep hope, because you may have bad times, I still do, but you will accept who you are. Oblivously your husband thinks that is pretty good. And as my new boyfirend calls me pretty I feel like a teenager, not the one I was, the socially awkward self imageless one, but the hot sexy girls that could have any boy. It may not help you now, but as you get older, it can get better.
As for the doctors, find a woman doctor. Seriously, men try and some women are not the best, but a woman doctor has been through what you are dealing with. I avoid doctors too, but have found some non-traditional doctors are much better. They actually listen. The biggest thing is to listen to yourself, not the hype. I know that is not easy. Tape a piece of paper to your door that says "I am beautiful." Read it outloud several times a day. Our minds are just machines that can be retrained.
best of luck, virtual hugs and hang in there. Laurie
Best Growing |
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prairie_princess
True Blue Farmgirl
613 Posts
Elizabeth
Carpenter
WY
USA
613 Posts |
Posted - Aug 16 2009 : 10:34:22 AM
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Heather-thank you so much for your advice! i have not read those beauty magazines in such a long time... i felt the same way and figured it's much easier to just get rid of that stuff than to try and keep up with the image. only maryjane, country, and country living for me! those magazines feature REAL women who's inner and outer beauty shine! they are women i can relate to. i don't watch tv much nowadays either since getting rid of satellite tv. i definately believe that having a child changes your outlook on your body... i mean, having children is what women's bodies were made for. and even though i don't plan on having kids, they are the real reason women's bodies are the way they are.
it would be nice to surround myself who don't concern themselves with outer image... but i'm finding it's sometimes hard to find women who have a strong mindset. my neighbor, whom i adore, is in her 60's. and i'm realizing it's not just the younger generations who pressure themselves to meet that beauty ideal. she was in a car accident and isn't very mobile because of it. yet she still keeps a picture of her at her ideal weight (when she was in her 20's) to "motivate" herself to get back to that weight. and she has a hard time walking let alone excercising! I read a book last summer, "Do I Look Fat in This?" by Jessica Weiner. it has been the most inspiring book i've read so far on this subject. the author is a wonderful role model for women like me... she struggled her whole life with eating disorders and being a "bigger girl" until she realized she could just be happy with herself the way she was. she suggests when you are with a woman who starts complaining about being "fat," you should ask her how she's really feeling (so often we blame being "fat" on an emotion we don't know how to deal with), or change the subject. I think all of my closest friends worry about image to a certain degree.... i'd like to open their eyes to the possibility that we don't need to look a certain way to be beautiful.
Laurie-i know how you feel regarding the military standards for weight. i hated that your work kept tabs on how much you weighed! even if you could perform the excercises you had to complete just fine, they could still send you to classes to make you lose weight. i had a good friend who went through this issue.... and it hurt me to see her worry every day whether she could pass the weight standards. and to me, she looked perfectly healthy and beautiful! it's a problem i think should be addressed... the military is not the place to need to worry about these issues... if you can pass the running, sit-ups, and push-ups, that means more than what you weigh!
I'm actually feeling pretty good about myself lately... and you gals have helped a ton! strangely enough, i've lost 4 pounds in the last 2 weeks by working on building this garage! and it's not that i lost weight... the important thing i learned was that this tough work we country gals do each day really is excercise and maybe we don't always need more excercise than that!
my new problem? i felt good about this bridesmaids dress - i was losing weight and had ordered 2 sizes larger than my normal dress size, so i figured i'd have no problems. nope. i went to go get it hemmed and i barely fit into it! i think this was a ploy the dress company does to make the women trying to fit into these things feel bad and try to lose more weight... so now, because i can't order a new dress in time, i'm going to have to be careful not to gain anything. i'll keep working diligently on this garage and hopefully i'll be good!
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
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Here's to Your Health: so tired of trying to be the "perfect" girl |
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so tired of trying to be the "perfect" girl
