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Across the Fence:  Waking up...  |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 19 2009 : 08:50:18 AM
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I had a big wake up over the last 2 weeks, with moving, trying to get things to fit into a house I had never even seen, being home FULL time with Charlie and just doing the SAHM thing. I have realized it is time to let some dreams or goals just go out to pasture. This week, I gave the new neighbor all of Charlie's old clothes, toys,crib and pack and play, things he no longer needs or uses. My reality is we are just not having anymore kiddos. I have a nice bin of things for him down the road for keepsakes but honestly, giving the young gal those 2 bins of stuff was a HUGE load off my shoulders. It was like I somehow gave myself permission to move on. This has freed up some much needed energy and I can look foward with a renewed sense of direction. This is what was intended for me and I am ok with that.
I found a job in my particular area of expertise  that I am going to apply for. It is full time and that means school is on hold but I just need a change of scenery right now. I am also a peace with this decision.
As I have gone through and unpacked, I noticed my style in becoming more simple and chic and less of what I thought I liked. Interesting change in direction but I am going with it.
I have been enjoying "putting" on my face when I get up everyday and trying to look my personal best when I go out. I found 2 more cute simple dresses at KOHLS on the discout rack (total for both was $22) and I have enjoyed feeling pretty in them and feeling a little more dressy when I go out.
So, I am over the hump and I know the freshened up me is emerging and I like her a lot. It just has been such a year of change for me. 
Heather
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Jul 19 2009 : 09:02:47 AM
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Oh drat..hit send before I was a ready...
I guess what I am saying is I will always have my essence of a farmgirl with the exterior of the executive woman I always wanted to be. I finally found that right balance and I can live in peace now.
Heather
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Jul 19 2009 : 09:45:54 AM
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Heather- as I have read your posts over the years since you started posting here, I have really noticed a lot of changes in you. When you first came here, you warned us that you were quiet and that you probably wouldn't participate much. Then you started getting more comfortable here and made some friends, of which I hope you count me as one!  You have kept us up to date on you journey both physical and emotional. We read as you moved from California to Texas, while your husband was over seas, and the struggles of being a military wife with a young child at home.
I have to say you have been on a tremendous journey and it is no wonder that you are seeing your dreams, goals, and personal tastes change. I think you are doing a fabulous job and are very adept at listening to your inner voice. Farmgirl is a condition of the heart, not of the land.
Keep doing what you are doing, being true to yourself and your family. If there is one thing that my journey has taught me- life has a way of making time for the truly important things, and dreams that sometimes we give up for the greater good of the family can come back to us, maybe changed and matured but there really is a time for everything. And it's okay to change your mind about dreams and let them go and change into something else.
*Lots of hugs*
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Jul 19 2009 : 09:56:51 AM
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Heather, I am so glad you have found yourself and are happy about you. That is quite an accomplishment at so young an age. You sound like you have come to that place where I know I would love to be. You are such an inspiration to me. Thanks so much for sharing your journey with me. I wish I could have been here through it all, but I like the Heather that you have grown into. Keep doing what you are doing and just be happy.
Alee, you also have so much to share and I enjoy all your posts, too. Such beautiful words for Heather from you.
Hugs, Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Jul 19 2009 : 10:13:28 AM
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Awww...ya'll make me blush!!! : )
Thanks for the kind words. It really does mean a lot. And oh boy, have I changed. Did I really say I was quiet??? HA...now THAT is funny!!! ; )
It has been a journey for me since I turned 30, either something switched on or off, I don't know which, and I finally feel like I am arriving at the path I am supposed to be on. Not that the journey hasn't been fun and interesting, but self realization and actuation is a POWERFUL tool.
I have come to realize I have been trying to hard to get certain goals or dreams to actually happen and I kept hitting a wall, no matter how hard I tried and from many different points of view and effort. So, I stepped back and realized maybe this is all there is too that chapter in my life and it is time to turn the page. I know many people pursue things for years and years and that is fabulous but what changed for me was a...and to quote a lovely woman...the condition of my heart. I found new passions and pursuits and the others are seeming to die down quietly.
I look over the rolling hills of TN and all the beautiful cornfields and realized each stalk of corn represents a page in my life and I have to roll with the wind. Some stand taller and more fuller than others, some don't quite make it to full bearing and some just sit somewhere in the middle, yet the sum of the whole makes up the whole field. Just like life, it's the sum of all the parts, not just one particular moment, dream, goal, memory....
Heather
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Tapestry
True Blue Farmgirl
1223 Posts
Cheryl
Wisconsin
USA
1223 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2009 : 01:59:33 AM
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It's a funny thing about turning 30. Back when I did it, it was supposed to still be the "dreaded" number but I actually loved turning 30. I finally felt like I'd grown up even though I'd been a LPN since the age of 19 and was married with 2 children and owned a home. I just had this sense of okay I'm here and I feel great and sure of who I am. I think it's true that all of us go through our own metamorphosis in our own time and when we do it's like a butterfly comes out of the cocoon. What a beautiful feeling to know yourself and like what you see. Congrats to you Heather!
Happy farmgirl sister #353
Look for rainbows instead of mud puddles 
http://fantasm01.imagekind.com/
http://tapestrysimaginings.blogspot.com/ |
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Across the Fence: Waking up... |
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Waking up...
