| Author |
Across the Fence:  LOL Hollywood squares  |
|
|
yarnmamma
True Blue Farmgirl
4247 Posts
Linda
Clarks Summit
PA
USA
4247 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 04 2009 : 3:55:30 PM
|
Are ya old enough to remember these? I laughed out loud and I DO remember this show and how funny it was.
These great questions and answers are from the days when' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. 
Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course..
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A.. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and youthink that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A.. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A.. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh
********Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive!********
Linda in Scranton, PA
GOD BLESS AMERICA. Our FREEDOM is not free.
The soldier in my family is often saying that they could not do what they do without the support of their families and the sacrifices the families make. |
|
|
1badmamawolf
True Blue Farmgirl
2199 Posts
Teresa
"Bent Fence Farms"
Ca
USA
2199 Posts |
Posted - Jul 04 2009 : 4:27:22 PM
|
Thanks for the laughs, and God Bless that soldier in your family, my youngest has been home a year from a double tour in Iraq, so yes, they all have my family and I's support!
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
 |
|
|
yarnmamma
True Blue Farmgirl
4247 Posts
Linda
Clarks Summit
PA
USA
4247 Posts |
Posted - Jul 04 2009 : 5:55:13 PM
|
thanks Teresa,
My soldier, actually my x husband, but still a friend, has only been back from Afghanistan for about 6 months. My heart goes out to him and his fellow soldiers when he told me today that these last few days he has to close his eyes and concentrate saying to himself "it is only fireworks...it is only fireworks"
I guess people just don't realize how upsetting the fireworks could be to a soldier just home from war.
He said that the fireworks sound exactly like war!
Linda in Scranton, PA
GOD BLESS AMERICA. Our FREEDOM is not free.
The soldier in my family is often saying that they could not do what they do without the support of their families and the sacrifices the families make. |
|
|
|
KayB
True Blue Farmgirl
540 Posts
Kay
Del City
Oklahoma
USA
540 Posts |
Posted - Jul 04 2009 : 6:47:46 PM
|
Loved these and remember even more.
Tell your solder thanks. We have one coming in from his second Iraq tomorrow and another still there until October, he already spent a year in Afghanistan, too. The ex-son-in law got back a few weeks ago from his third Iraqi tour. We love and pray for all of them. Hubby and I are both vets although we never did serve in combat, but we understand being away from family for extended periods. God bless 'em all.
KayB
Life's a dance you learn as you go |
|
|
|
laurzgot
True Blue Farmgirl
1682 Posts
Laurie
Alvin
Texas
USA
1682 Posts |
Posted - Jul 04 2009 : 7:00:58 PM
|
Yes those fireworks can upset a solder back from a tour. A few years back when my son and his friend where home on leave for new years some neighbors started shooting of fireworks and my son and his friend yelled in-coming and hit the ground. God bless all of our solders and their families.
Laurie
suburban countrygirl at heart |
|
|
|
yarnmamma
True Blue Farmgirl
4247 Posts
Linda
Clarks Summit
PA
USA
4247 Posts |
Posted - Jul 04 2009 : 7:08:58 PM
|
hi gals,
I started a new topic in hogs and quiches about the soldiers and fireworks...it sure is wild here now..my neighborhood really love their crackers
Linda in Scranton, PA
GOD BLESS AMERICA. Our FREEDOM is not free.
The soldier in my family is often saying that they could not do what they do without the support of their families and the sacrifices the families make. |
|
|
|
Mumof3
True Blue Farmgirl
3890 Posts
Karin
Ellenwood
GA
USA
3890 Posts |
Posted - Jul 05 2009 : 09:49:58 AM
|
How funny. I used to love that show when I was a kid. Most of those probably went right over my head back then! lol Thanks for the chuckle.
Karin
Farmgirl Sister
# 18 :)
www.perfectlittlemiracle.blogspot.com
|
|
|
|
Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Jul 05 2009 : 3:41:01 PM
|
Thanks for the memories, they were funny!
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
|
|
|
Tapestry
True Blue Farmgirl
1223 Posts
Cheryl
Wisconsin
USA
1223 Posts |
|
|
ddmashayekhi
True Blue Farmgirl
4739 Posts
Dawn
Naperville
Illinois
USA
4739 Posts |
Posted - Jul 06 2009 : 05:01:19 AM
|
Thanks for that! I needed to start my Monday morning off with a good laugh!
Dawn in IL |
|
|
| |
Across the Fence: LOL Hollywood squares |
|
LOL Hollywood squares
