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Across the Fence:  EVERYONE'S got an opinion!  |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 02 2009 : 06:18:01 AM
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No, I'm not perfect, and I know my mother is a clean freak, but her type of clean borders on OCD, so I'm pretty sure I'd never make the mark, even if I was close to it in her eyes!
Corrine, as always, you are right. I do try to mind my tongue, because words do wound, and you must choose them wisely. This has been a difficult month, and it's very easy to lash out at one another and place blame because you're closest. I have been on the receiving end, and I don't like it, so I try very hard to effect change.
We picked up Violet from my mil's yesterday, and what did she tell me? A bunch of stories about my sil's mil...how awful she is, how much she hurts my sil's feeling with comments, etc...and I didn't say anything. I don't want to stir the pot because it was a bit of info cavalierly thrown out in an argument (2nd hand info), and I would rather her say it directly to me so that I can address it fairly.
I'm still on the fence about my mom...I feel really discouraged about a lot of things, but the one thing I'm certain about is that noone could ever question my love for Violet and the way I try to keep her healthy and happy. Noone has ever said, "that child needs a meal!" or "She isn't clean!" They always say, "what a beautiful, thriving, happy baby you have!" And that's what it's all about.
So, be da**** the laundry (unless it's dipes), it can wait until later. I don't want to miss a thing of this blessing that is our little girl.
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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4HMom
True Blue Farmgirl
720 Posts
Kelly
Montana
720 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2009 : 10:55:22 AM
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Hang in there Jonni! We all have to parent the way we feel is best...You love Violet and she is safe and happy and well taken care of...you can't ask for more than that. Sometimes I think Mother's and MIL want to "fix" things that they wish they would have done differently. That's not their option! You're the Mom and all these gals are right...just keep doing what you're doing because these days will go by so quickly and before you know it, Violet will be grown.
"Be the change you want to see in the world" -Gandhi |
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lisamarie508
True Blue Farmgirl
2648 Posts
Lisa
Idaho City
ID
USA
2648 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2009 : 6:19:26 PM
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All these gals are right. You are doing a great job with Violet and could not POSSIBLY do any more than you are. There simply are not enough hours in a day. So the house is messy, dusty, whatever. I'm sure it's not harboring the black death or anything! There are FAR more important things in life than washing up a pile of dishes or cleaning the front porch right this minute.
As for the cereal thing, my oldest was a BIG baby and came home from the hospital drinking a full 8oz bottle. By 2 months old, he was drinking 2-8oz bottles and not sleeping through the night anymore. I thought 2 big bottles at one feeding was just ridiculous and I started (at my MIL's suggestion) putting a bit of cereal in the bottle because he was really not old enough to be fed with a spoon yet. It worked. One bottle and he slept through the night. My pediatrician let me have it when I told him. But when I asked him how many bottles per feeding am I supposed to give him before I DO start cereal? He wouldn't respond and I changed pediatricians. You know Violet better than anybody and you will only do what's best for her. NO ONE should be questioning your mothering. So there.
Farmgirl Sister #35
"If you can not do great things, do small things in a great way." Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)
my blog:
http://lisamariesbasketry.blogspot.com/
My apron website:
http://lisamariesaprons.bravehost.com |
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kissmekate
True Blue Farmgirl
890 Posts
Kate
Delano
Minnesota
890 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2009 : 8:32:00 PM
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Lisa,
My son was a big baby too. We fed him cereal earlier than recommended too. If they are hungry, they're hungry.
two bottles in one feeding? Oy.
Don't miss out on a blessing, just because it isn't packaged the way you expected. ~MaryJo Copeland |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2009 : 8:43:20 PM
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Jonni:
I think you are a wonderful person. Listen, you need to do this: Jonni, put your right arm on your left shoulder, and keep it there. Now, put your left arm on your left shoulder, and keep it there. Now, Jonni, hug yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You deserve it. Any time you are feeling down, let your farmgirls and citygirls know. We are here for you. Take care. I shall say prayers for you. Take care of yourself.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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electricdunce
True Blue Farmgirl
2544 Posts
Karin
Belmont
ME
USA
2544 Posts |
Posted - Jul 03 2009 : 07:08:10 AM
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Recovering from a c section takes a long time, and that baby is your top priority. Tell your mother in law that she can dclean the porch anytime she wants, you have more important things to do. It is just such an emotional time, first baby, etc. Snotty remarks from relatives are no help at all. And I find really clean houses terrifying, sign of a very strange mind. To lose two kitties while you have been adjusting to all the ups and downs of motherhood is so hard. You are doing a great job, girl and don't you let anybody tell you different.
MY mother was the kind of person who never had anything pleasant to say to me, and certainly did not know when to shut her mouth. The first thing she said when seeing my daughter, her first grandchild, was ":Well, we can always get that nose fixed later." That was lovely.
I am so impressed with you, you are doing a great job, being a mom, being a gardener, full time worker, etc. Don't let them get you down! I'm sure you would much rather remember all the wonderful moments with that beautiful girl than how yr house is looking. People just don't think before speaking...
Karin
Farmgirl Sister #153
"Give me shelter from the storm" - Bob Dylan
http://moodranch.blogspot.com
http://domesticnonsense.etsy.com |
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Across the Fence: EVERYONE'S got an opinion! |
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EVERYONE'S got an opinion!
