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Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up:  My uncle is dying of cancer...  |
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countrykatgirly
True Blue Farmgirl
186 Posts
Hallie
Jordan
NY
USA
186 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 25 2009 : 07:46:19 AM
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and my grandmother has Alzheimer's.
One night we decided to work on some genealogy things online and I found out that my step-grandpa had died in March. We hadn't been close but I figured I better call my Uncle R (who is not his son, BTW) and see what was going on. Instead, I got R's roommate who told me he had been in the hospital for surgery and was going to a rehab center. She didn't know which one and said he hadn't called her. I called the rehab center and went right over. Turned out that he’d gone there as he’d just had a colostomy because of colon cancer. I found out then that it has metastasized to the liver, lungs and possibly the pancreas.
I called my Uncle D (R's half brother) and left a message. He called me back and we touched base on the situation. Turns out, on top of everything else, that my grandmother is in a memory care unit for Alzheimer’s. She is about mid-stage and declining.
I have been going over every day to spend time with Uncle R. I've been taking him different things like his own fuzzy throw (as he is always cold) and these cookies he likes. I talked to his social worker and they are even trying to make him nearly custom meals to tempt him to eat more.
I picked up the POA papers yesterday and met with the hospice rep then we went in to talk to Uncle R. It was awful. I tried to explain to him what hospice was and then I told him if things continue on the present course we are looking at about 6 months. He went off. The hospice rep took me out in the hall and said obviously he wasn't ready for the hospice and that if he decides to do it I should call him at that time. Then when I went back in to his room he was cussing and saying how I can't be believing the nurses, etc., here because the only ones who know anything are the ones from over at VA. I told him I had read his recs from VA and they were saying the same thing.
Today I talked to his social worker from over at VA and she said that yes, he is terminal and everything I'd been told at the nursing home is correct (which I figured). I got the phone number for his VA doctor so he can call her. He won't believe anyone else.
Tomorrow I am going to his apartment to get some of his things. I guess his roommate is a crackhead who has physically attacked him before so it should be interesting to say the least. It's a mess. I am insanely tired and my stomach hurts. I am praying that I won't have an MS relapse in the middle of all this.
Think good thoughts and pray for me, if you will. I need them.
**Farmgirl Sister #622**
“It is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all.”
--Laura Ingalls Wilder
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Edited by - countrykatgirly on Jun 25 2009 07:47:26 AM |
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dutchy
True Blue Farmgirl
4427 Posts
4427 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2009 : 08:13:49 AM
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OH Hallie I am so sorry to read this!! That is so sad. My brother passed away due to cancer 2 years ago, 4 months after my mom. My mom had severe aggressive Dementia as well I was her sole care taker.
I SO understand how you must be feeling right now and am going to say prayers for you and your family.
Love and hugs and hang in there girlfriend
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me and mine :)
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2009 : 11:09:35 AM
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Hallie:
I am so sorry to read about your news. I will keep you in my prayers.
Take care.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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Tapestry
True Blue Farmgirl
1223 Posts
Cheryl
Wisconsin
USA
1223 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2009 : 11:22:30 PM
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Oh Hallie, many huggzzzzz and prayers for you. I'll also be praying for your safety as you retrieve your uncle's things. Dealing with family health matters can be so hard. There are stages in death and dying that most of us go through. It sounds like your uncle is in the "denial" phase. You probably don't have the time but Dr. Elizabeth Kubler Ross wrote a wonderful book on death and dying many many years ago. It discusses the stages and how to help your loved one go through them. Be prepared though....not everyone transitions through the stages the same way or at the same time but maybe it will help you cope and understand things better. Here is a quick synopsis of her 5 stages of grief. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model Hang in there and remember through all of this to take care of yourself.
Huggggzzzz
Happy farmgirl sister #353
Look for rainbows instead of mud puddles 
http://fantasm01.imagekind.com/
http://tapestrysimaginings.blogspot.com/ |
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dutchy
True Blue Farmgirl
4427 Posts
4427 Posts |
Posted - Jun 26 2009 : 12:50:44 AM
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deleted, wrong thread SO sorry
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me and mine :)
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Edited by - dutchy on Jun 26 2009 12:53:15 AM |
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countrykatgirly
True Blue Farmgirl
186 Posts
Hallie
Jordan
NY
USA
186 Posts |
Posted - Jul 07 2009 : 04:38:42 AM
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I want to thank everyone for their prayers and kind words. He has now begun hospice and they are saying less then 2 months as he really isn't eating.
**Farmgirl Sister #622**
“It is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all.”
--Laura Ingalls Wilder
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Edited by - countrykatgirly on Jul 07 2009 04:39:05 AM |
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Marybeth
True Blue Farmgirl
6418 Posts
Mary Beth
Stanwood
Wa 98292
USA
6418 Posts |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Jul 07 2009 : 06:00:44 AM
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Oh goodness, Hallie...it really sounds like you could use some good thoughts, and so could Uncle R. It's never easy to be along for the ride with someone facing their own mortality. Sending good thoughts!
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up: My uncle is dying of cancer... |
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My uncle is dying of cancer...
