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Across the Fence:  Feel like I'm putting my head in the sand...  |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 05 2009 : 12:55:35 PM
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Motherhood has made me weak. I absolutely, positively cannot handle the (bad) news in media anymore. I'm a bit bothered by this, as I was always moved by news stories with unhappy endings, but since Violet was born, it seems that when I do read something sad or disheartening, I obsess over the details and can't get them out of my head--that's a problem.
I also happen to pride myself on being abreast of current world/national news events and politics, and I love to be empowered with knowledge, but unfortunately, there are all those sad stories mixed in the middle and I can't always leave the room when something comes on that I don't want to hear...lately, (sad) stories about babies, children and animals almost motivates me to throw up right where I'm standing. Will I get a backbone again????
Anyone else react this way after having a child?
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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Carol Sue
True Blue Farmgirl
4033 Posts
Carol Sue
Washingtonian
USA
4033 Posts |
Posted - Jun 05 2009 : 1:10:28 PM
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I can remember those days of my life changing, with the beginning of a family, my focus changed. You are not weak, my dear, your heart is just changing. Some of the obessing is because you have a child now, you don't want anything happening to her and watching what can happen causes one to worry. Not sure how you can watch news now. Hmmmmmm
www.Quitemoments.blogspot.com |
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
Posted - Jun 05 2009 : 1:23:25 PM
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Jonni,
I was the same way after having mine. I loved watching the news and I was a big one for watching (COPS and shows like it) After I had my Tori, though, I just couldn't stomach it. It leaves me with a sad sick feeling. I avoid the news if I can and catch what I need through the grapevine.
hugs
Jessie
Farmgirl Sister #235
"You are my strength when I am weak. You are the treasure that I seek. You are my all in all. Seeking You as a precious jewel; Lord, to give up I'd be a fool. You are my all in all."
Stop by my blog for a visit www.messiejessie2.blogspot.com |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Jun 05 2009 : 1:29:55 PM
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Oh Jonni- It was the EXACT same way with me when Nora was born! I think the hormones with breastfeeding make it worse too- they are all those nurturing hormones and if you are naturally empathetic anyway- it makes you want to nurture the world. Once Nora weaned herself, it was much better. I think being a mom means that the stories about kiddos will always strike a bit harder home, but it will get better!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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harmonyfarm
True Blue Farmgirl
785 Posts
Debbie
Southeastern
Ohio
USA
785 Posts |
Posted - Jun 05 2009 : 1:40:32 PM
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You'll get your backbone back the day your child goes off to Kindergarden and comes home to tell you someone pushed them down on the playground....if you don't get it back sooner!
But my youngest is 17 and I understand what you are saying. I think it's time to turn off the "plug-in-drug". I'm starting to think I'd rather be happily ignorant!
Debbie
"If you can't find the time to do it right...how will you find the time to do it over" |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Jun 05 2009 : 1:48:13 PM
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I was starting to think there was something wrong with me! I'm glad to know that I'm in similar company, though. It is really maddening--everytime I open the CNN online page to the US News, I end up crying. So, yesterday, I made a pact with myself not to look at the US news, only the World and politics.
Debbie, I probably will get my backbone then, that's for sure. I know my Mom was at that school more than I can mention--I even had a first grade teacher who wouldn't speak to me for the rest of the year because she'd put me on the wrong bus and Mom "told" her about it...
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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knittingmom
True Blue Farmgirl
665 Posts
AnneMarie
Edmonton
Alberta
Canada
665 Posts |
Posted - Jun 05 2009 : 1:49:54 PM
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I don't think you're alone. I know when I had my first son 17 years ago how I viewed the world around me certainly changed and how I reaced to the news changed too. I think as mothers we can more than relate to what other mothers must be going through (even if we have never gone through the same thing).
Also with 24/7 news channels and the same thing being repeated over and over and over and over again it's hard to be able to pull ourselves away.
"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world" |
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electricdunce
True Blue Farmgirl
2544 Posts
Karin
Belmont
ME
USA
2544 Posts |
Posted - Jun 05 2009 : 2:02:27 PM
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I stopped" watching " the news on the television when my children were tiny. there is something about the box spewing these pieces of information at one that just is overwhelming. I think what Carol Sue said is absolutely true. Our hearts are much more vulnerable when these incredible tiny people arrive in our lives. I find written information so much easier to deal with. I can pick the topics I can face reading about.
When my daughter Susannah was about six we were watching some nature show on the teeve and it quickly became so depressing that she left the room and settled down on a pillow in the corner of the library so she didn't have to hear it. We are all so bombarded with information, I can't imagine growing up in the atmosphere my children have managed to endure. When Zan was nine, in the fifth grade, she came home from school and told me her teacher wanted them to watch the nightly news for two weeks. I personally, at that point in time, would have been suicidal after two weeks of televised news. I called the teacher and asked her if she was insane ( my social skills are not really that honed when it comes to my kiddos) . I told her two weeks of nightly news for me, an adult, just the thought of that made me crazy depressed. One day I overheard her class discussing abortion. Not a topic for nine and ten year old children. I started homeschooling my girl after a year at the middle school , I just could not endure the way the teachers treated the students, especially the girls, and the way they allowed the children to treat each other. Her counsellor at the school s"aid to me "What are you going to do?" I said "Gee, maybe some assemblies about common courtesy and acceptable behavior in tthe classroom, etc. but I was told the parents should do that at home. Oh don;t get me started.
Sorry I really didn't mean to rant, I remember high school as pretty much torture and boredom.
When that "mother" bit opens up, life becomes sort of overwhelming occasionally. Fortunately the immediacy of having a child, and enjoying the journey with them allows us the treat of not having to pay attention to so many things. If it is really important, someone will tell you about it. I waited a long time to have a family and I was so thrilled to have these people in my life. Enjoy your family, your life, it is filled with so much wonder, watching this little person become acquainted with the world that you share with her.
Karin
Farmgirl Sister #153
"Give me shelter from the storm" - Bob Dylan
http://moodranch.blogspot.com
http://domesticnonsense.etsy.com |
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SarahJ
True Blue Farmgirl
198 Posts
Shreveport
Louisiana
198 Posts |
Posted - Jun 05 2009 : 3:47:24 PM
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Yep, it's hormores and new motherhood. I was the exact same way after both kids.
SarahJ
Farmgirl Sister #116
http://bayoumama.wordpress.com/ |
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Farmtopia
True Blue Farmgirl
1465 Posts
Zan
New York
New York
USA
1465 Posts |
Posted - Jun 05 2009 : 9:45:44 PM
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Hehee Karin, it's good to know there's another Zan out there 
Jonni, can I just tell you I can't bear to watch the news either, and I DONT HAVE KIDS! I just really cannot bear all of the heavy stories--and personally, I think the way the media is running rampant with certain stories isn't great either. I really wish they would also focus on--say--people who are doing something positively about some of the unfortunate things happening!!
~*~Dream all you dreamers~*~
View my work:
www.bigtownfarmer.com
And *NEW* Blogs:
Life: www.wildatheartfarm.blogspot.com
art/dolls: www.wildatheartart.blogspot.com
Plan to save America the old fashioned way!
http://wildatheartfarm.blogspot.com/2009/05/big-project.html |
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kmbrown
True Blue Farmgirl
459 Posts
Misty
Waynesboro
Pennsylvania
USA
459 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2009 : 05:04:08 AM
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| Oh man Jonni are you ever in good company here. That is the one thing I absolutely DREAD with this coming baby. With all 3 of mine I had nightmares and after my first I even had terrible visions of things happening to him or I would here him screaming and I wouldn't be able to find him. Needless to say, I went on medication as that is borderline Postpartum Psychosis. I do not watch the news, read the paper or even read the headlines on the internet. Anyway....as much as I love having babies around I do absolutely dread that part! |
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2009 : 10:35:38 AM
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Misty,
I hear ya on that one. When I was expecting my Tori, it was the same way. I had night mares and visions of things. Usually, I could relate it to something I had read or heard.
I am so afraid some time for my kids and think it is so sad that they even have to deal with some things in their lives, things that we knew about in ours, but didn't openly talk about.
As bad as it is and keeps getting worse, though, what are we going to do?? Stop having children because we don't want them to live in this world? ;)
After all, the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world :D
It is we Mom's who shape the lives of the children we are raising. Who knows, we might just be raising the one who will change the world in the biggest way.
hugs
Jessie
Farmgirl Sister #235
"You are my strength when I am weak. You are the treasure that I seek. You are my all in all. Seeking You as a precious jewel; Lord, to give up I'd be a fool. You are my all in all."
Stop by my blog for a visit www.messiejessie2.blogspot.com |
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Carol Sue
True Blue Farmgirl
4033 Posts
Carol Sue
Washingtonian
USA
4033 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2009 : 3:27:30 PM
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Oh Jonni, I can just see your mom giving her the "what for".....makes me giggle!!!!!
www.Quitemoments.blogspot.com |
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BarefootGoatGirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1495 Posts
Corrine
North Carolina
USA
1495 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2009 : 5:34:32 PM
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Jonni, arn't hormones wonderful! When my second child was born the oldest was in a phase where he loved the book "Are You My Mother?" The problem was, everytime I read it I ended up bawling. That poor little baby out in the big world alone just broke my heart. Yes, it gets better, but I still limit how much news I keep up on. It is depressing to know too much these days. I make it a point to search out goodnews stories and post them to facebook. It reminds me that the world isn't all bad.
What we write today slipped into our souls some other day when we were alone and doing nothing.
-Brenda Ueland
http://quilandneedle.blogspot.com/
http://musingandmuttering.blogspot.com |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2009 : 7:34:21 PM
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I don't know ya'll. I have 3 little granddaughters now and I still can't watch the news or any crime shows. And my husband loves those. So I leave the room when he's here. They just depress me to no end. So I don't know if that protective feeling ever goes away. It just breaks my heart to know that bad things happen to poor innocent children. But there is alot of good in the world and I need to focus on that instead.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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grace gerber
True Blue Farmgirl
2804 Posts
grace
larkspur
colorado
USA
2804 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2009 : 8:56:38 PM
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I am that way and my sons are 25 and soon to be 22 years old. I think we all are just overwhelmed by the doom and gloom. Plus it seems that TV news is nothing but trying to get our fears going. I know we do not like to have our head in the sand but I am working on trying to make every moment count for something instead of sitting frozen by all the things I can not control. I think if more of us just turned off the TV, unplugged from all the electronic garbage and created a world that our children and loved one's could feel safe, loved and empowered - we would see such change happen that we would not have time to be fearful.
Just know you are not alone and we are all trying to find our way for the sake of our children and other people's children.
Hugs from the funny farm and all my furry little four legged kids and my two legged kids.
Grace Gerber
Larkspur Funny Farm and Fiber Art Studio
Where the spirits are high and the fiber is deep
http://www.larkspurfunnyfarm.etsy.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.blogspot.com
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Jun 08 2009 : 06:49:35 AM
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Ugh...Corrine, a friend bought that book for me as a shower gift (Are you my Mother?) and I made the mistake of reading it when she was only a week old...oh my, did I cry and cry! I was STILL crying when my husband got home in the evening!!!
You ladies are so wonderful and sooo...oh I don't know--beyond wonderful. I just wish you all lived on my little street. I did exactly what Grace mentioned in her post--we unplugged all weekend long, worked in the garden, picked (and ate fresh Green Arrow peas) and spent some glorious time in the sun. It does a mind (and body) good--I slept like a rock almost all night (well, that is until Violet decides I should get up  ) and I actually looked forward to the next day. The only "news" I allowed myself to watch was Sunday Morning, and after that the boob tube went off.
Last weeks news here, in Cincinnati, was especially gruesome and involved a young mother and two infants being murdered in a very bad area of town--it was then that I realized that I just can't do it anymore. And, to make my own peace with the situation, and to let this young woman and her babies know they wouldn't be forgotten, I went to the memorial service a local church held for her. It was something, sadly, that I needed to do and thus closes the chapter of my addiction to news.
Thank you all so very much.
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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Nance in France
True Blue Farmgirl
1438 Posts
Nancy
St. Laurent de la Salanque
France
1438 Posts |
Posted - Jun 08 2009 : 10:40:56 AM
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Bonjour, Jonni, sounds like you had one heck of a day getting locked out; been there, done that recently. Glad you were able to think quick and turn lemons into lemonade and enjoy waiting for the locksmith. And goodness sakes; you are not weak, but have been empowered with something that brings out the inner beauty in women. I think having a baby not only stretches our stomachs, but our hearts also. I remember holding my firstborn nearly 30 years ago with tears in my eyes, wondering what I could POSSIBLY have done to deserve such a gift. Before Violet, did you ever imagine that you could have such a powerful love for anyone? I bet you now realize that you have an incredible depth of feeling and empathy for others, as well as the fierce desire to protect your little one, which is why the daily bad news affects you these days.
Remember the account in the Bible where Christ reminds his apostles that "the poor are always with us"? It is not for us to sigh and accept it as a foregone conclusion, but to remind us that we can help someone, somewhere, in some small way, if we only look around. We may not individually have enough impact to change the headlines, but every kindness shown, every helping hand offered, chalks one up for the good, strengthens and enriches everybody involved. So buck up baby! The world needs more "weaklings" like you. Hugs to all, Nance |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Jun 08 2009 : 1:54:58 PM
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Thank you for such a lovely post, Nance. It's always so wonderful to see you here--but, I know that France calls (or are you stateside currently?)....either way, I've printed this out as a nice reminder of who I've become since having Violet...and you made me realize that I kindof like her!
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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Diane B Carter
True Blue Farmgirl
1270 Posts
Diane
Blasdell
N.Y.
USA
1270 Posts |
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frannie
True Blue Farmgirl
2246 Posts
fran
bonham
texas
USA
2246 Posts |
Posted - Jun 08 2009 : 9:04:17 PM
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i think, jonni you are absolutely normal, and that this is a good time to take a break from the news. when you and your family are ready you will get back to it, but in my world nothing has ever been as fufilling or wonderful as the first few months with the wee ones. the world will just have to get by without you for a while!
i have always heard that we arent given more to take care of than we can handle, but i do think we are supposed to help out with the decision some times of when enough is enough.
i know lately i have started feeling like i can handle a little more, but for a while i just had to bale out and not be aware of all that is going on in the world.
my last visit to the doctor all i did was cry, and my doctor had never seen me cry.
she told me i was just tender and i should cry as much as i needed to.
so i say, jonni, you are one of the wisest women i have ever run into, and you just need to trust yourself, cry when you need to and let go of what you need to let go of, and of course when it comes to little violet, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy.
love from texas
love
frannie in texas
home of "green"crafts,
where no scrap is left behind
(http://abunnystale.wordpress.com/)
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Nance in France
True Blue Farmgirl
1438 Posts
Nancy
St. Laurent de la Salanque
France
1438 Posts |
Posted - Jun 09 2009 : 06:59:20 AM
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Bonjour, Jonni and all the gals! Yep, back in France for two weeks now. Had a wonderful and busy spring in Norfolk, and now back to tame the French weeds, and all the daily doings life throws our way.
You have gotten some good advice here; when you need to take a "time out" from the world at large, by all means do so, and like Frannie says, cry it out when necessary. Tears are so cleansing for our cheeks and our souls. You are so deeply troubled by the sad state of affairs, because you have such a deep wellspring of tender feelings and desire to nurture and help others, and becoming a mother has pushed all this to the forefront. So help when you see the opportunity arise continue to wave at a lonely neighbor, gift someone with extra tomatoes from the garden, smile at the "future axe murderer". Maybe your smile will turn the tide..... Not only that; as little Violet becomes more and more aware of her surroundings and life's interactions in general, she will look up into the eyes of a woman that she will one day want to be just like. And that is when your cup runneth over with joy and gratitude and the knowledge that you have done what you could, and it made a difference. Love and hugs, Nance |
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Across the Fence: Feel like I'm putting my head in the sand... |
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Feel like I'm putting my head in the sand...
