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Across the Fence:  Why I Hate My Job  |
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JessieMae
True Blue Farmgirl
702 Posts
Jessie
Raleigh
North Carolina
USA
702 Posts |
 Posted - May 18 2009 : 11:48:00 AM
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The June brides – not to mention their mothers – are slowly killing me with their ridiculous requests and outlandish ideas. I have a permanent crease in my forehead from banging it on my desk, trying to find release in unconsciousness. I can’t explain the exact color nuance of our pink napkins one more time, or listen to a bride talk about the “audience” at her wedding. They’re called “guests,” Princess. And why she can't have an open bar for her friends and a cash bar for everybody else. And why she can't hang something from the ceiling. And why we can't allow 200 guests to order off the menu the day of the wedding. And why you can't bring in your own food. And why having a 2:00 wedding and a 7:00 reception is a bad idea....
Ugh. I hope if I ever have a daughter, she elopes.
Jessie Mae
Farmgirl Sisterhood #134 |
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Farmtopia
True Blue Farmgirl
1465 Posts
Zan
New York
New York
USA
1465 Posts |
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mikesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3659 Posts
Sherri
Elma
WA
USA
3659 Posts |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - May 18 2009 : 12:01:25 PM
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Yeah, I'm no fan of bridezillas. I really feel for you!!!
I know EXACTLY what you mean, though. I worked in the bridal/china department at Macy's, helping these nincompoops register. Most of these girls were 20 (maybe) and wanted 12 place settings of Waterford china, along with $150.00 silver flatware settings, and crystal to match, like they were Queen Elizabeth or something. When I asked them where they would be living after the wedding, almost 90% of them said, "Oh, we're living in an apartment on campus for the next 2 years until we're out of college, then it's grad school, so another apartment somewhere else." Soooooo glad that "audience" members ;) will be shelling out good money for china that will remain boxed up at Mummy's until they're 45 years old and have a house large enough to seat 12 people!!!
Some of these couples would get into arguments over registering (the guys were NEVER into it--c'mon, they'd rather be watching baseball) and inevitably, the gal would get her knickers in a twist and call off the wedding because he didn't "care about what was important" to her! And my other favorite was, after registering for all this expensive stuff, and folks buying it for them, they would bring it all back 3 weeks after the wedding and honeymoon, and get cash back or have it all credited to a Macy's charge and buy furniture. Or, they would say, "this wasn't even on my registry! I don't understand why someone would buy something that I didn't ask for."
I hate brides...:)
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22944 Posts
22944 Posts |
Posted - May 18 2009 : 12:45:35 PM
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Oh my gosh! You ladies are so funny! My mom was my wedding coordinator. ;) I think I drove her half crazy because every time she wanted me to make a decision I said "I don't know- whatever you think is best!" My mom is awesome and I am so grateful for all the work she put into my special day. But I would NEVER want to be a wedding coordinator! I don't think I would have the patience for it!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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Amie C.
True Blue Farmgirl
2099 Posts
Finger Lakes Region
NY
2099 Posts |
Posted - May 18 2009 : 1:16:28 PM
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I could never in a million years have planned and gone through with a wedding like that. Not even with the help of a good wedding planner, Jessie Mae!
We didn't elope, but we had the smallest wedding we could manage, just so we wouldn't have to think about details like that. And especially so we wouldn't have to talk them over with our moms (lol).
No wedding registry either. Getting surprise gifts was fun! Although now I wish I could go back and pick out a set of wedding china. I've never owned a whole set of matching dishes...maybe I should pick one out now and buy it myself.
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - May 18 2009 : 1:27:38 PM
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That's what we did, Amie-we bought our china a year later...Jus's grandmother sortof insisted...and guess what? They're still in storage :)
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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LynnDinKY
Farmgirl in Training
46 Posts
Kentucky
USA
46 Posts |
Posted - May 18 2009 : 2:48:29 PM
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Jessie, That is sooooooo my dream job. I'm dead serious. I LOVE weddings.
I did one a month ago. I should have told the gal not to marry him, it would be a waste of time and money. She found him 5 days later with the bridemaid. Poor thing. Hey! but the church looked good.
We have actually thought of buying land with a view and setting the property up with weddings and reunions in mind. But.....That just hasn't happened. We've got it all planned out, but no money. LOL.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30 |
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knittingmom
True Blue Farmgirl
665 Posts
AnneMarie
Edmonton
Alberta
Canada
665 Posts |
Posted - May 18 2009 : 3:50:20 PM
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It's all those reality shows and bridal mags that have these gals all twitterpated. Oh well now only if you had the proverbial magic wand.
When they start going off on a tangent just go to your happy place.
You should keep notes, that way you could write your best seller "The Bridal Diaries, my life as a wedding coordinator".
"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world" |
Edited by - knittingmom on May 18 2009 3:53:39 PM |
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StarMeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
940 Posts
T
MI
940 Posts |
Posted - May 18 2009 : 4:00:38 PM
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My hubby and I eloped. Best thing we ever did. We thought we might have a "vow renewal" at some point with some family and friends and that came too soon when his Mom was dxd with cancer. We thought it would be cool to be "married" at a friend's house on her deck (log cabin home and all that) but SHE turned into the "bridezilla" !! You would have thought it was HER wedding... Finally, I couldn't take the stress any longer and decided to do it on my terms in my own backyard. It couldn't have been lovelier or more simple...best part? It was my son's 5th birthday and some dear friends brought a pinata! Oh there were other "disasters", cake was wrong (most expensive thing), my dress didn't come BUT I managed to find one even way cooler for 35$ that fit like a glove! I swear it was waiting for me to find it. We had meat trays and salads made by my auntie and step mom. My hubby's brother played piano and my hubby was way too sexy in a black leather vest, jeans, and his long hair down and loose (my long hair...up-do thanks to the neighbor...) I did my own flowers and loved every minute of it. Rings were his great grandmothers bestowed upon me as a "gift" and as "keeper" of that tradition. We had everything that we could have ever wanted so "gifts" were the presence of those we loved. His younger brother "officiated"... Best wedding photo...the "kiss" with my 5 year old "mushed" right in the middle! (My MIL passed about 2 weeks after. I was so grateful she could be there.) My friendship has NEVER been the same with my "bridezilla"...her beef??? I didn't "formally" introduce her around to other people at the wedding... Only about 30 of us anyway...no one else had any trouble saying howdi-do to each other while I had my hands full of potato salad, or a group of 5 year olds who wanted to open b-day presents and eat birthday cake and, of course, more "wedding cake"....
When I think about these BIG dream weddings and the money and stress...it makes me sad. They miss so much I think. Perhaps it's the youth in them, I don't know. Weddings should be fun/happy/joyous occasions, not worrying if the china is just so or the decor was in vogue. Don't get me wrong...I love a big "feed" with toys and decorations and other treats....ah well....
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C.W.
True Blue Farmgirl
101 Posts
Chelsea
Prosser
WA
USA
101 Posts |
Posted - May 18 2009 : 7:55:14 PM
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Alee, my mother planned mine also; it was great, for me at least.... a bit stressful for her. We were married in a barn and our guests were served BBQ. The priciest things were probably my dress and the DJ. I love dancing and always hated those weddings where no one danced! So the music was of my highest priority... actually second to the dress, ha.
I don't know how wedding planners put up with it, I am just not a people person, you ladies have my kudos big time.
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ranchetta
True Blue Farmgirl
318 Posts
carol
Marysville
Wahington
USA
318 Posts |
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Diane B Carter
True Blue Farmgirl
1270 Posts
Diane
Blasdell
N.Y.
USA
1270 Posts |
Posted - May 19 2009 : 09:28:32 AM
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I know I would not be good at that job. My future DIL and my son are planning a June 19th 2010 wedding. She already has her wedding dress, they just brought a house and plan on getting married there (they have 6 acre's of land). I asked why not this year, why wait another year. She said there was just to much to do. Hang in there!!
Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com |
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Mother Hen
True Blue Farmgirl
604 Posts
Cindy
Peck
ID
USA
604 Posts |
Posted - May 19 2009 : 12:02:37 PM
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Jessie, I'm sorry about your frustration with ignorant selfish brides and their mothers. But it was a bit amusing to read your post, in a "one those things you will laugh about later" kind of way.
When I got married the first time, I planned the whole thing, and the reception was at my parent's house. My ex and I paid for everything ourselves so it was not done in grandeur. The night before we got married, I was sitting at my parent's kitchen table rolling meat from the deli making my own meat trays, we made potato salad, macaroni salad, etc. I also made my own bouquet. We set up a tent outside the house and a buffet table with a tablecloth and that's where the bar was, I bought 5ths of whatever I thought the most popular drinks would be made of, and my ex's "must have" for the reception was a keg which he tapped the night before the wedding. It wasn't elaborate, but it was nice. We didn't register for china, we registered at I think, Walmart, Target, etc for things like, sheets, vaccuum cleaner,pots & pans, etc. I lived at home til we were married, so we were setting up house with our gifts. It was simple and more old fashioned, kind of like me.
Second(AND FINAL) marriage, on Tuesday my DH said lets get married on Thursday, I said okay. We called a preacher in our small town my DH knew all his life, and we got married here on the property we now live on(his mother's place). It was a beautiful service with us, my kids, his mother, the postmaster(and her son) and one of DH's friends and his companion, that was it besides the preacher and his wife.
After the service we went to the local restaurant/bar and ate and drank, and mingled. Everyone in town used to go there so everyone found out by the next day that we had gotten married. There were even people in the restaurant/bar that found out why we were there and bought us drinks as presents, or sent us cards with checks over the next week. It was definitely small small town style and very much "us".
My sympathies Jess!!
Cindy
P.S. We don't drink anymore. I felt compelled to say that.
FARMGIRLS CAN DO ANYTHING!!!
I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth. Psalms 34:1 |
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Miss2Missus
True Blue Farmgirl
407 Posts
Karen
Asheville
NC
USA
407 Posts |
Posted - May 19 2009 : 3:42:02 PM
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I'm getting married next year Jessie and i will keep all your problems in mind when i start to really plan. I don't want to be THAT bride.
I understand the wanting to pull your hair out from dealing with idiots all day though. Hugs
Karen ^_^
http://apple-and-eve.blogspot.com/ |
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Thistle Cove Farm
True Blue Farmgirl
141 Posts
Sandra
Tazewell
VA
USA
141 Posts |
Posted - May 19 2009 : 5:41:30 PM
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In my long work history, I've been a wedding photographer but forgot about that one on the 'what jobs have you had' list. The last wedding I shot for hire was one where the whacked out mother of the bride locked herself in the women's room to punish her daughter. For what, I have no idea but when I told the bride, she said, "she's always been crazy. Do you job and don't worry about getting her picture; it's her loss."
Whew! Who needs that kind of crazy in their life? Not I.
You have my sympathy.
Sandra @ Thistle Cove Farm ~ God's blessings on you, yours and the work of your hands & heart ~
www.thistlecovefarm.com
www.thistlecovefarm.blogspot.com |
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ponypower
True Blue Farmgirl
68 Posts
Lily
Caspar
Ca
USA
68 Posts |
Posted - May 19 2009 : 6:09:23 PM
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| Oh you have my sympathy alright,...I have a beadwork biz and when I was first starting out and hungry for customers I took on six brides in one summer doing beadwork on their dresses. I had no idea there were that many shades of white!!!!Good Grief!! I learned my lesson fast and hard! I am glad I can be picky ten years later! Man can people be self centered. Who needs that kind of drama. I always wonder how many grooms to be get cold feet once they see how their women behave during the planning process. Hang in there Jessie! |
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grace gerber
True Blue Farmgirl
2804 Posts
grace
larkspur
colorado
USA
2804 Posts |
Posted - May 19 2009 : 6:54:19 PM
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Jessie my heart goes out to you and I am sitting with that same thing here. My son is getting married in July and my hand went up to do the flowers, floral arrangements, favors and jewelry. No one is making a decission and I hate to be the pushy Mother - in - law. I at a young age planned, designed and executed my whole wedding without asking for assistance, funding, or suggestions. I know that is just me but I guess like any business these days we have created monsters...
Maybe your talents could be used in some other profession where the folks are not so off the wall. What am I saying I am not sure I know of that profession..
Hugs to you and maybe just an extra half glass of wine would not be too much.
Grace Gerber
Larkspur Funny Farm and Fiber Art Studio
Where the spirits are high and the fiber is deep
http://www.larkspurfunnyfarm.etsy.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.blogspot.com
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Sheep Mom 2
True Blue Farmgirl
1534 Posts
Sheri
Elk
WA
USA
1534 Posts |
Posted - May 19 2009 : 7:16:40 PM
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You have my sympathy for sure. My son is getting married here on Labor day weekend - in my back yard. I am making the wedding dress, the wedding cake, 2 jr. bridesmaid dresses, 2 flower girl dresses and helping with the flowers & food. Whew...at least they are laid back and cooperative reasonable people.
Oh well - bridal season is just about over for this year---right? |
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ddmashayekhi
True Blue Farmgirl
4828 Posts
Dawn
Naperville
Illinois
USA
4828 Posts |
Posted - May 19 2009 : 7:32:46 PM
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Years ago I worked in a bridal shop. Even back 24 years ago there was a lot of nonsense going on. That was about the time weddings became productions. It was very aggravating at times. I worked in the office and took the payments on the dresses. What would seem like a smooth transaction always ended with nasty parting shots.
Hang in there! Hope things improve with the July brides!
Dawn in IL |
Edited by - ddmashayekhi on May 19 2009 7:33:02 PM |
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FlipFlopFarmer
True Blue Farmgirl
198 Posts
Carla
Molalla
Oregon
198 Posts |
Posted - May 19 2009 : 9:20:48 PM
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I just had to giggle..."They’re called “guests,” Princess" LOL!!! So glad I got married in my own backyard, low key, no fuss, just small group of friends and family...and happily ever after. That's the important part after all.
 Carla
Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly. |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2009 : 03:33:38 AM
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I eloped the first time and regretted every minute. that marriage didn't last.
So when my current hubby proposed and met my folks and really became a member of the family, they insisted on a nice sit down reception.
I'm one for simple too, so my dress was under 500.00, flowers were simple and hardy (not roses....too predictable). We registered at Target and at one of our favorite potters here in Seagrove.
We live very ruggedly and don't have space for china. We use our pottery stonewear every day so its not put away and people can see it even if they just stop by for a casual lunch.
Wished we could have had a wedding coordinator to ease the pressure off my mom, but in the end it was a fun day with very minimal stress.
No one passed out, I didn't get nervous and can recall everything. So it wasn't a blur. Actually it was moe like a huge family reunion that brough together frineds and family from all over the country.
It's sad when major emphases is placed on all the pomp and not the reason why. Ever notice how some of these wedding don't last much beyond the first 5 years? |
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babysmama
True Blue Farmgirl
931 Posts
Elizabeth
Iowa
931 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2009 : 10:18:47 AM
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We had a teeny tiny church wedding and a teeny tiny reception at my parent's home afterwards. All said and done it was probably under $700 (that's with my dress!). And I wouldn't change any part of it...the day is about the actual vows, not the food or dress or whatnot. Way too many people pay too much attention to getting ready for the wedding, instead of getting ready for marriage.
-Elizabeth |
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JessieMae
True Blue Farmgirl
702 Posts
Jessie
Raleigh
North Carolina
USA
702 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2009 : 10:58:10 AM
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You'd be AMAZED at what some brides think is important. I've had people walk away from a $500 deposit because we couldn't import the brand of beer they wanted because our distributor doesn't carry it. Before the first wedding I was here for the bride started crying because there would be footprints in the snow outside the big picture window...she wanted the snow to be perfectly smooth and white. Just recently, another person in the office had a crier because the planner pointed out that an agenda based on 5-minute intervals isn't going to work because it can get thrown out-of-whack too easily.
I'm not even the planner (I'm the admin), and they drive ME nuts. I can't imagine putting up with what the planners put up with.
Jessie Mae
Farmgirl Sisterhood #134 |
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mommatracy
True Blue Farmgirl
490 Posts
Tracy
My. Olive
NC
USA
490 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2009 : 1:52:48 PM
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My neice got married last summer at a country club---outdoors in the full afternoon sun. All the elderly ladies & gentlemen almost stroked out from the heat and few had to be taken indoors to cool off. It was hot as he--misery. Heard her grandmother say that it would be her last outdoor wedding she would ever attend.
www.cottagebythebay.blogspot.com |
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goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl
1599 Posts
Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2009 : 8:02:02 PM
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Well, Jessie...look at the bright side...if it were ME (a former military, big rig driving cowgirl) that had to put up with them, they would be strangled so maybe it's better that your planners deal with them after all. :-) My patience wouldn't last the hour!!
I think my wedding cost about $200 with the church in Reno, NV and my bouquet and license. That was the whole shebang right there. Someone had it right when she said that too many people got ready for the wedding and not enough time for the marriage. Very true!!
Jessie, hang in there!
Winona ;-)
To read funny stories about my cooking 'skills', please visit http://lostadventuresincooking.blogspot.com/
For uber-opinionated, pleasurable horse related reading, please visit http://horseinfoperson.blogspot.com/
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Across the Fence: Why I Hate My Job |
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Why I Hate My Job
