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Parenting & Farm Kids:  Does anyone have a child with Aspergers?  |
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LynnMarie
True Blue Farmgirl
612 Posts
Lynn
Staunton
IL
USA
612 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 20 2009 : 4:25:49 PM
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I am looking for moms raising a child, especially a teen, with Aspergers.
LynnMarie
Bringing the Past Back to Life
www.freewebs.com/decampsettlement
"You may never know what results come from your action. But, if you do nothing, there will be no results" -Gandhi |
Edited by - LynnMarie on Apr 28 2009 09:44:13 AM |
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RubyJunes
True Blue Farmgirl
246 Posts
June
Greenwich
Ohio
USA
246 Posts |
Posted - Apr 20 2009 : 7:04:38 PM
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***raising my hand!***
We have a 13-year old son with Asperger's, though we don't have the "official" diagnosis, we've been told this by professionals. We're on the waiting list to get the diagnostic procedures done.
How about you? |
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LynnMarie
True Blue Farmgirl
612 Posts
Lynn
Staunton
IL
USA
612 Posts |
Posted - Apr 20 2009 : 8:35:41 PM
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I have a son who turned 18 in January; he was diagnosed with PDD/NOS. I've learned a lot since last fall when I was told he was on the autism spectrum. Just today he got approved to go to the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign Psychological Services Center to tests for Aspergers; the appointment is next Wednesday.
Where are you going to take your son for a diagnosis?
What kind of activities does your son like to do? My son has loved computers since before we got one when he was 5. Even though he had never been around a computer, he knew exactly what to do.
LynnMarie
Bringing the Past Back to Life
www.freewebs.com/decampsettlement
"You may never know what results come from your action. But, if you do nothing, there will be no results" -Gandhi |
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mamaofcuties
Farmgirl at Heart
9 Posts
Tammy
Mechanicsville
Iowa
USA
9 Posts |
Posted - Apr 28 2009 : 07:54:19 AM
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| I have an eleven year old with autism spectrum disorder but he leans more symptomatically towards aspergers. |
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LynnMarie
True Blue Farmgirl
612 Posts
Lynn
Staunton
IL
USA
612 Posts |
Posted - Apr 28 2009 : 09:42:56 AM
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June and Tammy ... please tell me more about your sons, how you teach them about life, and how you deal with it.
Bringing the Past Back to Life
www.freewebs.com/decampsettlement
"You may never know what results come from your action. But, if you do nothing, there will be no results" -Gandhi |
Edited by - LynnMarie on Apr 28 2009 09:43:52 AM |
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StarMeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
940 Posts
T
MI
940 Posts |
Posted - Apr 28 2009 : 6:40:52 PM
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| I don't have a child with ASD but I'm a HS teacher with several kids that I work with every day who have been diagnosed. I can lend a hand with the school aspect at least. Several parents I know have a local support group that they can look to when they need a shoulder.... |
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lilyblossom
True Blue Farmgirl
416 Posts
Donna
Evansville
IN
USA
416 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2009 : 3:34:08 PM
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Hi Lynn,
My 10 yr old daughter was just diagnoised as having Aspergers last month. I also would like to learn how others deal with their aspie children.
Donna...true blue KY farmgirl |
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yarnmamma
True Blue Farmgirl
4247 Posts
Linda
Clarks Summit
PA
USA
4247 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2009 : 4:23:09 PM
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Oh! I am so glad that I ran across this topic.
My son is Aspergers and has only had that diagnosis for a year....we have been thru so much with him. Since birth he was extremely active and by 2 yrs old his temper fits were dangerous and we knew something was not right.
The dx Aspergers explains his behavior and reasons for it and how his body and mind work. He was in the psychiatric hospital just a few weeks ago..he is only 8 yrs old. Sometimes I don't know how long I will be able to live with him as a single mom because he gets violent and threatening. He wears a size 12-14 so he is big enough to be strong.
Now I am going to read the rest of this topic...
I sure need you! 
Linda
in Scranton, PA
farmgirl #71 |
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yarnmamma
True Blue Farmgirl
4247 Posts
Linda
Clarks Summit
PA
USA
4247 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2009 : 4:24:58 PM
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I subscribe to a fantastic online support group. I will get the link for you. asap
Linda
in Scranton, PA
farmgirl #71 |
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yarnmamma
True Blue Farmgirl
4247 Posts
Linda
Clarks Summit
PA
USA
4247 Posts |
Posted - May 01 2009 : 2:15:47 PM
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www.AutismSupportNetwork.com
try this support group...they have helped me so much.
I wrote a long description of my son with Aspergers here and it got lost...
I'll keep in touch...we have lots to share and help each other...SO GLAD for this topic!!
Linda
in Scranton, PA
farmgirl #71 |
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Michigan Girl in TX
True Blue Farmgirl
85 Posts
Kristi
Cottonwood Shores
TX
USA
85 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2009 : 12:53:13 PM
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My 6 year old son was tested for Asperger's but the psychologist said since he did not fit all of the criteria for Asperger's even though many of his traits were Asperger traits, but she wanted to wait until he was older and reevaluate him. He LOVES computers. He was also identified as gifted. (which is common with Aspies)
His main difficulties are meltdowns and overstimulation. Loud classroom, bright lights, etc. used to send him in a downward spiral, but now the school is really working with him. I have read some AWESOME books on Asperger's.... let me know if you would like a list. A lot of them are out of England, but I was able to find them on eBay or Amazon. Check JKP.com (jessica Kingsley Publishers) for the books. They have an amazing selection of books on Asperger's, Austism Spectrum. One of the best is Asperger Syndrome, the Universe and Everything by Kenneth Hall who at the time was 10 and it is from his perspective. For younger kids All Cats ave Asperger's is super cute! (They also have All Dogs Have ADHD) My son loves it!
~Kristi
Farmgirl #474
"Grown men may learn from very little children, for the hearts of little children are pure, and, therefore, the Great Spirit may show to them many things which older people miss" ~Black Elk |
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Michigan Girl in TX
True Blue Farmgirl
85 Posts
Kristi
Cottonwood Shores
TX
USA
85 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2009 : 1:07:07 PM
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Yes, some of his meltdowns (which I like better than tantrum.... tantrum makes me picture a bratty kid where a meltdown is behavior they can not control) were really upsetting for me to see. It was like he wasn't "there" in the middle of a meltdown. I would leave his school in tears after I picked him up because I couldn't fix it. I almost pulled him out to homeschool. But they brought in a great lady who works with him. They pull him out of class is he seems to be becoming overstimulated so it doesn't get to "that point", and have a parapro go with him to specials (P.E. was always a problem!) They are also beginning to work on his social skills. He also has problems with rules... not breaking them but trying to follow them so precisely! (and all his classmates too!) A great book for the meltdowns is Asperger Syndrome and Difficult Moments by Brenda Smith Myles and also No More Meltdowns by Jed Baker. They are both excellent books to help with that aspect!
~Kristi
Farmgirl #474
"Grown men may learn from very little children, for the hearts of little children are pure, and, therefore, the Great Spirit may show to them many things which older people miss" ~Black Elk |
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yarnmamma
True Blue Farmgirl
4247 Posts
Linda
Clarks Summit
PA
USA
4247 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2009 : 1:25:04 PM
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Hi krisi,
Very good information, thanks for your input. Could you list the books on this forum that have helped you? I think anything can be found on Amazon.
My son got his Aspergers diagnosis last year at age 7. He has been in a special partial hospital day program since he was 3 yrs old.
He was diagnosed with ADHD at 2 yrs old...yes, extreme even for a 2 yr old. This was by a specialist Development Neurological Pediatrician. Now a therapist has told me that between 7-8 yrs old the boys brains start having the male hormones cause them to be aggressive. :-(
He threatens suicide and murder and doesn't see any danger (never has) so he was getting hurt by bullies in our neighborhood. Now he has to be watched very very close or kept inside. He is on anti-psychotic meds and now meds for mood swings. It gets harder and harder to work with him as time goes by. He has been in psycho hospital every few months for the last year. His last stay inpatient hospital was only 2 weeks ago. The only med that calms him down some is for the hyper-ADHD. It is called Focalin, a very good and fairly new med.
Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed...eventually he will have to go live in a residential program. We (his adopted dad and I) love him so much and do everything we can for him....we adopted him and raised him from birth as a foster child. His brain was hard-wired this way from the beginning. We truly believe that because we have watched it and also know some info about biological parents.
I don't want to forget the goodness he has...very loving and sweet, smart, VERY friendly...when he's in a good mood it's real good...when temper rises then it is extreme too. THANK GOD that the good is much of the time and temper fits don't last long...just not able to concentrate much of the time other than wanting attention and being loving and sweet one on one. HE ALSO love the computer games and it is the ONLY thing that he will sit still for and pay attention to.
I have read books on Sensory Disorder, Aspergers and bullies and also about Raising an Autistic child and keeping your sense of humor. Now his dad is reading about parenting an Asperger child.
Sometimes for safety of the child or others meds are necessary...increased, changed and trial and error...we are becoming experts on meds. He will be going into an Autism program when he comes up to the top of the long waiting list. It is supposed to help him more than the partial program he is in now.
These days are so hard for us parents....Spring and the energy that comes with it sure brings out the aggression in these kids..hypes them up.
Linda
in Scranton, PA
farmgirl #71
The Universe says: Speak abundance and act abundantly, no matter what, and an outpouring of the "stuff," far in
excess of what we could ever spend will come! |
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Michigan Girl in TX
True Blue Farmgirl
85 Posts
Kristi
Cottonwood Shores
TX
USA
85 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2009 : 3:27:47 PM
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Linda, check out that book Asperger Syndrome and Difficult Moments. They use "diffucult moments" in the title but it goes into rage cycles as well. It really helped out, especially at home. Definitely check out the JKP.com website. They have SO many different and specific books. Literally hundreds just on Aspergers. You can find one that fits the exact info you are looking for. You will be so happy you checked them out! I found which books I wanted and then looked for them on eBay. Not much cheaper, but I didn't have to pay overseas shipping! :}
It is hard when then are so sweet and loving and then to see them so the opposite. School has been going 100 times better. But, I have to say I am nervous when I take him places... the park, beach, store.... and have him start to have a meltdown. And the triggers aren't always unavoidable because I don't always know what they are! I can mentally handle it now at home but I can't help but get upset when people are looking or saying things. I guess that is just human nature. My husband has a hard time with it, and isn't very patient so that causes some problems as well.
Have you checked into modifying his diet? I have cut out about 90% of preservatives, colorings, hfcs, etc. on the advice of a holistic specialist and it helped tons! I also give him fish oil (any kind of omega 3s) Some parents of Autistic kids have had a lot of good results with gluten and/or casein free diets. I tried and it didn't seem to affect him so I went back but he actually loved the rice milk so he drinks that now instead!
Check out the JKP.com website.... there are just so many great books on there! Great resources as well. They have a book about starting a reward chart for Asperger's kids and they have the chart available to download. Also, anything by Tony Atwood is great.... he is basically an Asperger's expert.
It can be so hard to deal with. And it sounds as if you have been dealing with a lot! Some days everything seems "normal" and some days are just plain hell-ish and I wish I could run off to a deserted beach! But when he says "I love you Mama" it makes me feel better! (Of course this is after he had been saying he hates me, I'm stupid and calling me a big fat meanie!) I will look through my books and get a few more titles for you!
Best Wishes!
~Kristi
Farmgirl #474
"Grown men may learn from very little children, for the hearts of little children are pure, and, therefore, the Great Spirit may show to them many things which older people miss" ~Black Elk |
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LynnMarie
True Blue Farmgirl
612 Posts
Lynn
Staunton
IL
USA
612 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2009 : 8:40:54 PM
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Hi everyone,
Wow! I didn't expect this kind of response to my topic! I wasn't sure if I should even post such a topic. It is good for me to have others understand where I come from and what I go through every day.
I wasn't getting notified of my subscriptions so I just thought no one responded to this topic.
I don't know where to start so here goes...
My son couldn't handle anything dairy from an infant until third grade. I still wonder about his diet but at 18, he won't listen. I did take him to my homeopathic doctor a couple of years ago but he didn't see results in a couple of weeks so he quit taking the supplements.
Kristi - I hadn't heard of Asperger Syndrome and Difficult Moments; I just ordered it from my library.
Linda - I can't imagine what it is like for your son to have a temper. My son has always been passive.
What do your sons do for fun? Do they join the rest of the family in activities? Are they in public or private school? What about friends?
LynnMarie
Bringing the Past Back to Life
www.freewebs.com/decampsettlement
"You may never know what results come from your action. But, if you do nothing, there will be no results" -Gandhi |
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mellaisbella
True Blue Farmgirl
1862 Posts
melanie
living on Anne of Green
Gables land
Canada
1862 Posts |
Posted - May 07 2009 : 03:49:12 AM
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I don't have a child with Aspergers, but my heart goes out to you all.
big hugs:)
"we must be the change we wish to see in the world"
farmgal #150 |
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Michigan Girl in TX
True Blue Farmgirl
85 Posts
Kristi
Cottonwood Shores
TX
USA
85 Posts |
Posted - May 07 2009 : 07:08:20 AM
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LynnMarie~
Okay, I know I sound like a broken record but check out the JKP.com website! They have books that deal with older children/young adults with Aspergers. Even books for adults entering into relationships, marriage, college etc. I was just SO happy to find them so I gotta keep bringing them up!
Yes, I can see how an 18 year old wouldn't listen to what to eat! My 15 year old rolls his eyes at my healthy meals!
Steven is 6. He does go to public school but we live in a pretty small school district that has great resources. He gets a lot of one on one attention and help, and they let me do things that bigger schools would say no to! Like for awhile I picked him up every day at noon so his day wouldn't be so long. Then we gradually lengthened his day. He also is able to leave the classroom whenever he feels like he is getting overstimulated (he just starts feeling like the classroom is getting to be too much) Me and my kids do things together. (My husband has a weird work schedule!) Usually everything is great but sometimes we have had to cut thing short because of a unexpected meltdown. If I can catch it right at the beginning I can usually joke him out of it by acting silly etc. Of course he is only 6!
Friends are harder. Everyone likes him because he is so sweet but he is such a stickler for classroom rules. He also tells people what to do when he plays with them. Kind of like a teacher. He also talks about the same subject (Penguins) so much that other kids will just kind of walk off. If things get to loud or out of control he starts kind of flipping out. It is hard. Plus he will hit when he gets upset. He is definitely not on the passive end of it! At home he draws, plays on the computer, reads and plays outside. We don't have many neighbors so there really aren't any kids nearby.
I am worried about when he gets older. He always tells me he wants to stay little. He also worries about things most kids don't even think about. Cancer, death, etc. I just wish I could tell him "You are a baby! You should just be playing not thinking about this stuff!" But he has very adult thoughts for such a little boy.
Best Wishes~
~Kristi
Farmgirl #474
"Grown men may learn from very little children, for the hearts of little children are pure, and, therefore, the Great Spirit may show to them many things which older people miss" ~Black Elk |
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yarnmamma
True Blue Farmgirl
4247 Posts
Linda
Clarks Summit
PA
USA
4247 Posts |
Posted - May 07 2009 : 08:21:26 AM
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My Danny boy has always been fixated on insisting he IS a girl. He likes everything pink or feminine.....he plays with cars and trains but this is a real obsession with him.
He also insists on being called Miss and has various names he wants. Lately it is Miss Kimberly because she is the pink Power Ranger..and is a girl. I could tell so many stories...some funny, some not so funny. We all have an interesting life that's for sure..NEVER a dull moment around here!
Linda
in Scranton, PA
farmgirl #71
The Universe says: Speak abundance and act abundantly, no matter what, and an outpouring of the "stuff," far in
excess of what we could ever spend will come! |
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yarnmamma
True Blue Farmgirl
4247 Posts
Linda
Clarks Summit
PA
USA
4247 Posts |
Posted - May 07 2009 : 08:26:22 AM
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Here is a story:
We were in a drug store that we hadn't been in before and ran across some bras hanging there for sale. Danny had to express his surprise very loudly and was saying see mommy! He was only about 6 yrs old then. He had always ran up to every person and said hi and tried to talk and this time he went down to the end of the isle and spoke to the woman there...I was assuming he just said hi to her.
When we were leaving the lady came up to me and said he gave her a laugh and made her day. She said he asked her if she needed any bras. He then told her where they were.....lol
She loved it...funny to her!
Linda
in Scranton, PA
farmgirl #71
The Universe says: Speak abundance and act abundantly, no matter what, and an outpouring of the "stuff," far in
excess of what we could ever spend will come! |
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Michigan Girl in TX
True Blue Farmgirl
85 Posts
Kristi
Cottonwood Shores
TX
USA
85 Posts |
Posted - May 07 2009 : 09:27:33 AM
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Oh my gosh Linda! I can so see Steven doing that! He has got into crazy conversations with people at the store! HE always sounds like a little adult. I have a Danny boy too! My 15 year old... and that is what I have always called him! Steven is oblivious to the girl/boy thing. He shows interest in anything I like. Which makes Dad not so happy at all! And, EVERYBODY who knows Steven knows more than they want to know about penguins!
Is Danny in private or public school? I am happy Steven's school is being very accomodating but he still had a hard time in a classroom with other kids. And I hate for him to fall so behind. He goes to a seperate class sometimes where he is the only kid, but it is only a few times a week. I sometimes wish he was just in a really small class.
~Kristi
Farmgirl #474
"Grown men may learn from very little children, for the hearts of little children are pure, and, therefore, the Great Spirit may show to them many things which older people miss" ~Black Elk |
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yarnmamma
True Blue Farmgirl
4247 Posts
Linda
Clarks Summit
PA
USA
4247 Posts |
Posted - May 07 2009 : 09:45:47 AM
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A few weeks ago my Danny boy was fixated on Tinkerbell. He started by saying she was on his shoulder and when she went around in the room he could see her. He said if you really wanted to you could see her too. We really got tired of her! We never knew where she was and were expected to acomodate her! She was here, or there and we were supposed to say we saw her.
There was a boy in his class who would pick on Danny by running up and "grabbing" Tinkerbell from on Danny's desk and run off with her....Danny would get so upset and run after him. It became a problem in the class. The teacher had to make a new rule that everyone had to be called by their real name....at that time Danny boy insisted on being called Peter Pan or Tink. He would come home unhappy because his teacher would "take" Tinkerbell away from him so he would do his work...he had to get work done and behave to "get" her back.
Thank God that is over for now..it lasted for weeks.
His fixation could be a person or a character or a thing but at least they change after a few weeks. The thing about being a girl has only been stopped for a few days at a time.
But that fixation has always been there since very very young.
He is in a day partial hospitalization program...from 8:30 am to 3 pm...this program lasts all year..summer too. It is 5 days a week. He has been in this for most of 5 years..since age 3.
The one year he was in public school's special ed class was hell for him, his teacher and me.
I was called every few days to come pick him up because he was so out of control. I found out eventually that they weren't supposed to do that but their job was to handle him. The school was breaking the laws. I am glad that he is where he is at now...works for now.
Linda
in Scranton, PA
farmgirl #71
The Universe says: Speak abundance and act abundantly, no matter what, and an outpouring of the "stuff," far in
excess of what we could ever spend will come! |
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Parenting & Farm Kids: Does anyone have a child with Aspergers? |
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Does anyone have a child with Aspergers?
