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Family Matters:  College  |
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Aunt Clemys Farm Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
157 Posts
Linda
MA
USA
157 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 20 2009 : 06:58:24 AM
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Edited by - Aunt Clemys Farm Girl on Aug 29 2009 1:47:35 PM |
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Amie C.
True Blue Farmgirl
2099 Posts
Finger Lakes Region
NY
2099 Posts |
Posted - Apr 20 2009 : 07:33:44 AM
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That does sound like a difficult situation. I have to wonder why the stepson and his girlfriend come to your house every weekend, since it doesn't sound like they come to spend time with you?
I can imagine that your husband doesn't want to put any barriers between himself and his son, but it would not be unreasonable at all to ask the son to be considerate of your sleep and your weekend routine. If nobody has said anything to him, he probably assumes that he isn't bothering you and everything is fine.
Have you and your husband discussed what's going to happen after you have a tenant living in the house? I would think that if the kids coming and going at late hours disturbs you, it will probably disturb your tenant as well. That could present a good, non-personal excuse to bring up the issue. Like, "once we have a tenant renting the apartment, some things are going to have to change".
If your husband isn't willing to make any purposeful changes, then there's still hope for the future: college is very much a transitional time. Another school year, a different girlfriend, and he may not come home more than once or twice a year. |
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Bellepepper
True Blue Farmgirl
1207 Posts
Belle
Coffeyville
KS
USA
1207 Posts |
Posted - Apr 20 2009 : 07:45:16 AM
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We went through a similar situation with our grandson. Long story, but I felt I was being used. Ole Ron liked the male company so didn't agree. My biggest problem was meal time. Never knew how much to cook.
I lived through it and I just kept saying, "This too, shall pass". It did. Kinda, he was here yesterday just before and during lunch. Ole Ron and I had a bowl of soup. I offered him a boiled egg. He declined, said he was good, and had to go pretty soon. An hour is pretty soon? |
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Aunt Clemys Farm Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
157 Posts
Linda
MA
USA
157 Posts |
Posted - Apr 20 2009 : 08:34:15 AM
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| edited by Aunt Clemys Farm Girl |
Edited by - Aunt Clemys Farm Girl on Aug 29 2009 1:12:41 PM |
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SuzieQ
True Blue Farmgirl
175 Posts
Suzie
Texas
USA
175 Posts |
Posted - Apr 20 2009 : 1:29:53 PM
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| Call your step son and tell him that when he comes this weekend plan to paint the whole house or think up a big chore and tell him that he will have to help. Sounds like if there is work he will stay at school. |
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therusticcottage
True Blue Farmgirl
4439 Posts
Kay
Vancouver
WA
USA
4439 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2009 : 9:32:59 PM
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Not trying to get too personal or offend but do the step-son and girlfriend share the same room when they are staying with you?? If that's the case then that's probably why they are coming. Maybe her parents don't allow that kind of thing at their house so that's why they are at yours every weekend.
I'd probably just tell him that you love having him at home but that you'd prefer he not bring a guest every weekend. The project idea of Suzie's sounds like a winner too.
Handmade Soap & Lotion Bars http://www.therusticcottagebath.com
The Rustic Cottage Blog http://therusticcottage.blogspot.com
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Aunt Clemys Farm Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
157 Posts
Linda
MA
USA
157 Posts |
Posted - Apr 22 2009 : 09:58:36 AM
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edited by Aunt Clemys Farm Girl
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Edited by - Aunt Clemys Farm Girl on Aug 29 2009 1:13:20 PM |
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lacisne88
True Blue Farmgirl
1181 Posts
Chelsey
Lake Stevens
Washington
USA
1181 Posts |
Posted - Apr 22 2009 : 11:51:01 AM
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Hello! I just wanted to give it from another perspective. I am 21 and a college student that lives at school about 45 minutes from home. I live at the school in a sorority during the week days and on friday I go back home to my dad's house with my boyfriend. We also leave on Sunday night. I could stay over at my boyfriend's house but we'd much rather go to my dad's house and spend the weekend with him and my siblings as well.
I really like hanging out with my dad and I miss my family throughout the week. I am still dependent on my family as well, so it's not like I am "on my own" yet. I am a student and I have a part time job to help pay for rent at school and gas. I just love the weekends though, to get away from the hectic school life in the city of Seattle. For me, home is much calmer and relaxing. When I go home, I always do lots of chores and cleaning for my dad, even without him asking.
My dad isn't married, but a few times he has asked me if I could spend the night somewhere else on Friday night if he is going to have a girlfriend come over. If that happens, I spend the night at my boyfriend's house.
I don't know how often your stepson actually hangs out with his dad while he is there on the weekends, but when I go home on the weekends, I spend as much time with my dad as possible.
Basically, I just love being home and like it much better than being at school. :)
Maybe, you and your husband could ask them not to come over on Fridays or something like that, or to be more respectful of your own wants and needs?
Chelsey
Farmgirl Sister #283
http://farmgirlpleasures.blogspot.com/
http://aminiatureworld.blogspot.com/ |
Edited by - lacisne88 on Apr 22 2009 11:51:30 AM |
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Aunt Clemys Farm Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
157 Posts
Linda
MA
USA
157 Posts |
Posted - Apr 23 2009 : 07:29:55 AM
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Chelsey, you are a gem for wanting to help your father with the household, be with your family, and are very understanding of your father needing to have time alone.
Aunt Clemys Farm Girl
Farm Girl #300
Kansas to Massachusetts |
Edited by - Aunt Clemys Farm Girl on Apr 23 2009 09:27:44 AM |
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mommatracy
True Blue Farmgirl
490 Posts
Tracy
My. Olive
NC
USA
490 Posts |
Posted - May 09 2009 : 5:14:25 PM
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Back in 2001(9-11) the day we moved 75 miles from our home to the coast our daughter was attending UNC @ Wilmington. Well from that point on,and it was a horrible time in history, she stuck pretty close to us. School was 35 miles away. She moved in to our beach house and from then on pretty much every weekend she had friends over. That house had lots of privacy with the different levels(3). They stayed on the ground floor, we stayed on the third. Seperate kitchens,living areas,baths,dining, it was perfect to have guests. On Sunday afternoons we put lots of chicken on the grill and cooked up good stuff to feed everyone and had many wonderful times. We still get notes from her friends thanking us for they good times they had at our home.
www.cottagebythebay.blogspot.com |
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Family Matters: College |
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College
