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Across the Fence:  Am I being too sensitive?  |
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dkelewae
True Blue Farmgirl
1310 Posts
Diana
Saint Peters
MO
USA
1310 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 31 2009 : 1:34:02 PM
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Okay, many of you know about my 'dream farm' that I found that is for sale, and how much I'd love to be able to get it.
Well,a couple of months ago, a friend from my garden club asked to see photos of it after I told her all about it, so I gave her the link to my blog so she could view them.
Of course she too fell in love with the place, and emailed asking me if it would be stepping on my toes if she went to go and look at it. I replied that I have been trying to figure a way to get it, and that I want this place very badly. She replied that she would not pursue it since it meant so much to me, but hey if she bought it I'd be welcome to visit any time
Every time I see her now, she grills me about when I'm buying it,etc. and the other day she told me she called the realtor about it. By the way, the listing for it has expired, so it's not on the open market anymore. Of course I'm a realtor, so if we sell the investment properties we have listed, we'd be able to afford the place and I for sure would approach the owners with a contract.
Am I wrong that it hurts my feelings that she's wanting to try and buy it out from under me, knowing good and well how much I love this place, or am I just being too sensitive?
Diana
Farmgirl Sister #272
St. Peters MO
Country Girl trapped in the city!
http://farmgirldreams.blogspot.com/ |
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GaiasRose
True Blue Farmgirl
2552 Posts
Tasha-Rose
St. Paul
Minnesota
2552 Posts |
Posted - Mar 31 2009 : 1:39:53 PM
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I can see how you are feeling. This is the place you love. If she is a close friend, I'd say you are perfectly right for feeling the way you do and your feelings are 100% warranted and she is not being a very good friend. If she isn't, and is really just an acquaintance, the house is for sale and if it's meant to be yours it will be, if not then, she just might get it. Given that it's a home for sale, this is a tough situation. It might be the very thing she's been dreaming of too, you know?
~*~Brightest Blessings~*~
Tasha-Rose
Farmgirl Sister #88
Blogs:
http://gaiarose.wordpress.com
Etsy:
http://ForestFaeries.etsy.com
"Joyful chaos, working in tune with the seasons, telling itme by the sun, variety, change and self-direction; all this wwas replaced with a brutal, standardized work culture, the effects of which we are still suffering from today." - Tom Hodgkinson in 'How To Be Idle' |
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peachy
True Blue Farmgirl
593 Posts
Melissa
Fennville
MI
USA
593 Posts |
Posted - Mar 31 2009 : 1:43:50 PM
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Diana, I don't think you're being wrong at all having hurt feelings. It sounds like you trusted this person and she told you she would not pursue it and then told you that you could visit anytime if she did buy it? She's not making a whole lot of sense! This sounds like a beautiful place that you're dreaming of someday having so lets work on praying that you can sell your investment properties and make your dream home a reality! For now, just try to stay on different topics if you run into her again and keep your chin up!
Melissa
Farmgirl Sister #360
http://oldethymecountrybarn.blogspot.com/
Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain! |
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Lainey
True Blue Farmgirl
2401 Posts
Elaine
Waco
Kentucky
USA
2401 Posts |
Posted - Mar 31 2009 : 1:56:41 PM
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I'd probably feel the same Diana. You are in my prayers and I hope this 'dream farm' or one similiar will be your's. I'm also hoping that you hear back from that gentleman from the weekend on those properties.
Hugs!
Farmgirl Sister #25
http://countrygirldreams.blogspot.com/
An Angel says, 'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.' |
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babysmama
True Blue Farmgirl
931 Posts
Elizabeth
Iowa
931 Posts |
Posted - Mar 31 2009 : 2:04:10 PM
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I think your feelings are completely normal and I would be very hurt as well. But I think that since the house is still on the market it truely is fair game and if it is such an awesome place can you blame her for being interested in it as well? It's not fair but that is the way thigs go sometimes. I do believe that if it is meant to be yours you will be able to get it though. HUGS
-Elizabeth |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
Posted - Mar 31 2009 : 4:52:36 PM
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Aww Diana,
I am so sorry she is still giving you grief over this. I have to wonder how good of a friend she really is if she knows this is the house of your dreams and is still talking about buying it when she knows your heart is so set on it.
Have you heard anymore from the man who was looking at the properties?
I don't think that you are wrong at all to feel bad about this.
HUGS!!!
Jessie
Farmgirl Sister #235
"Every man's life is a fairy-tale written by God's fingers."--Hans Christian Anderson
Stop by my blog for a visit www.messiejessie2.blogspot.com |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Mar 31 2009 : 5:08:26 PM
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Ha. Some friend. 
if it were me, i'd be actually trying to front $$ TO you so you COULD make your dream a reality.
But I'm just a giver that way.
So sorry |
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kmbrown
True Blue Farmgirl
459 Posts
Misty
Waynesboro
Pennsylvania
USA
459 Posts |
Posted - Mar 31 2009 : 6:25:53 PM
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| I agree with Alee. I would feel like she used me to get what she wanted even when she was possible taking my dream. I hope everything works out for you. You are not being overly sensitive. |
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glendagoldenbp
True Blue Farmgirl
196 Posts
glenda
cleburne
tx
USA
196 Posts |
Posted - Mar 31 2009 : 6:45:21 PM
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I agree with Anna, even if she were to help you get it she could be the one to come over and enjoy it. You are right to feel betrayed. I hope it works out for you.
Sunrises are wonderous things, nobody should ever miss one. |
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dkelewae
True Blue Farmgirl
1310 Posts
Diana
Saint Peters
MO
USA
1310 Posts |
Posted - Mar 31 2009 : 9:22:55 PM
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Thanks for all of your responses. I really do appreciate your input on this.
She wasn't even in the market to move or buy a farm until I showed her the photos of my dream farm. As a matter of fact when I told her it had 15 acres she said that she'd never consider moving or buying a place that had less than 40-50 acres. She also had promised me that since I loved this place so much and hoped to buy it, that she wouldn't pursue it. She never would have even known the place existed if I hadn't told her about it.
I don't know, I guess I'm just different. I never would have tried to buy it out from under her if the situation were reversed. I would have been the type who would have backed her and done whatever I could to help make her dream a reality.
Right now the house isn't on the market because the listing has expired with the seller's real estate company and they haven't relisted it. Maybe that's a blessing in disguise for now, because it's not on the open market.
Diana
Farmgirl Sister #272
St. Peters MO
Country Girl trapped in the city!
http://farmgirldreams.blogspot.com/ |
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ponypower
True Blue Farmgirl
68 Posts
Lily
Caspar
Ca
USA
68 Posts |
Posted - Mar 31 2009 : 11:24:32 PM
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That would upset me beyond words. Totally lame if you ask me. You are totally valid in being upset. It has nothing to do with being sensitive. Seems to me it is more an issue of her being INsensitive. Hang in there and don't give up on your dream.
Good luck,
Lily |
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southerncrossgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
631 Posts
Gena
Harmony
NC
USA
631 Posts |
Posted - Apr 01 2009 : 05:02:49 AM
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Diana, I had that very same thing happen to me. As it turned out the other friends bought the property, and I was so hurt I couldn't even face them. In the end, I realized it hurt me more to be angry with them. Imagine their surprise when I started waving when I past them on the road, and acting as if all was well. To top it all off, I found an even better farm, that I did end up purchasing. So, have faith, it will all work out!
"A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes"==Cinderella |
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sjs
True Blue Farmgirl
247 Posts
Stephanie
Oakland
CA
USA
247 Posts |
Posted - Apr 01 2009 : 2:37:54 PM
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I agree with Anna - some friend! Seriously, that's not cool at all. If you're able, I would tell her outright that she's stepping on your dream and that you would appreciate it if she would please not pursue it any further. If she's truly your friend, she will respect your wishes and back off.
--------------------
Learning to live is learning to let go.
Visit my food blog! http://www.wasabimon.com - natural cooking to live for.
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Apr 01 2009 : 5:36:40 PM
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if she were your "friend", she would not have considered it at all to begin with
that's just trashy
this is the kind of maddening thing that would wake me up at night
some people aren't worth getting all upset over , but we all have dreams and aspirations, and to have such a dream potentially crushed is heart wrenching and not easily forgotten...ESPECIALLY by someone who ought to be supportive and a friend in the truest sense
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beccaroo
True Blue Farmgirl
68 Posts
Rebecca
Grand Prairie
Texas
USA
68 Posts |
Posted - Apr 06 2009 : 06:03:40 AM
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I know that I would get upset. You were the one to talk about it first, and was even nice to show here the picture. I hope that this works out for you and you get it.
beccaroo
#497 |
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Rosemary
True Blue Farmgirl
1825 Posts
Virginia
USA
1825 Posts |
Posted - Apr 06 2009 : 09:11:04 AM
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Is it possible that this "friend" of yours is secretly pressuring you to buy by using your love for this property to scare you into thinking she'd buy it out from under you? If the listing has expired, it's possible she's been able to get that client away from the original lister. Do you have some insider's way of checking up on that?
I don't always trust realtors -- I'm sorry, because I know you're one! -- but some of them can be awful sharks, even to friends. In the present economic climate, a lot of people are showing some pretty garish true colors. Why should they be any different?
Bottom line? With friends like that, who needs enemies? Be careful! |
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dkelewae
True Blue Farmgirl
1310 Posts
Diana
Saint Peters
MO
USA
1310 Posts |
Posted - Apr 06 2009 : 11:34:41 AM
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Mara-My friend isn't a realtor, so she has no inside track like I do ;) She's not trying to scare me into buying the place, she truly wants it for herself.
I don't take offense re: not trusting realtors. I've seen many realtors backstab each other to get listings,clients, sales, etc. and it disgusts me to no end.
Diana
Farmgirl Sister #272
St. Peters MO
Country Girl trapped in the city!
http://farmgirldreams.blogspot.com/ |
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daylily
True Blue Farmgirl
114 Posts
Chris
Newcastle
CA
USA
114 Posts |
Posted - Apr 06 2009 : 11:54:23 AM
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Diana, it stinks that your "friend" would even consider doing this to you! But my suggestion, also made by others is to take the high road and believe that if this farm doesn't work out for you, there is something better just waiting for you.
P.S. Just don't show her any more dream homes, ok? 
Chris
Farmgirl Sister #346
http://refininglife.blogspot.com
http://www.myorganizedkitchen.com |
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Rosemary
True Blue Farmgirl
1825 Posts
Virginia
USA
1825 Posts |
Posted - Apr 06 2009 : 11:57:55 AM
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Oh, Diana, I'm sorry. I misread your post, or read it too quickly. In that case, it seems like what you've got on your hands is something other than a friend. You are not being too sensitive. If anything, you're being too nice to this moron. If you decide not to buy the place yourself, it might be fun to tell your "friend" that you made your decision based on "the report." When she asks you, all frowny between her eyebrows, what "report" you mean, you can just say, "you know, about the runoff problem." And then spot a (real) friend across the room and go see her. Don't worry. It wasn't a lie. There's a runoff problem somewhere and there's undoubtedly a report on it. Not your fault you made a decision on a piece of property that had nothing to do with it ;-)
Why yes, yes I am a Scorpio. Why do you ask? |
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Across the Fence: Am I being too sensitive? |
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Am I being too sensitive?
