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Across the Fence: Living With Complaining Negative People Pinkroses ![Next Topic Next Topic](icons/icon_go_right.gif) |
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pinkroses
True Blue Farmgirl
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2350 Posts
Sheila
Virginia
USA
2350 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2009 : 4:38:19 PM
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I am the first to admit ; I do my fair share of complaing but , son is always ,doing it nothing pleases him Hubby is negative to every thing I say or suggest Honestly I wonder why I even try All I want is to get alone with the people I love and the people I have to live with Nothing I do seems to please any one When I buy grociers at the store son complains He should be out own his own but not Anyways , I am just venting I just get so depressed with this negative attitudes It makes one feel like they can't do anything to please anyone. hugs sheila
www.ohkayteagirl2.blogspot.com http;//www.sheilascreativetouches.blogspot.com |
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Libbie
Farmgirl Connection Cultivator
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3579 Posts
Anne E.
Elsinore
Utah
USA
3579 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2009 : 5:22:20 PM
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Oh, Sheila - that is such a difficult thing. Please know that there is always ONE person we can please. OURSELVES! It's hard to create such a "bubble" around ourselves against negativity, but it's possible. Just think of all us farmgirls backing you up. Put on that apron (your "armor!") and know that this group of farmgirls has more POSITIVITY than any folks I know, and we're sending it your way! Nay-sayers are difficult, but not impossible, to live with (yep, I really DO know this ...
XOXO, Libbie
"Farmgirl Sister #10," and proud of it!!! |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
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11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2009 : 6:04:18 PM
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Sheila, I am sorry you have to live with negativity. Sometimes no matter what we say or do it's all wrong. There are just days like that. I hope all your days aren't like this, though. Can your son buy his own groceries? He should be grateful that you do what you do.
Hugs, Kris
Life is what you make it. Always has been. Always will be. |
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grace gerber
True Blue Farmgirl
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2804 Posts
grace
larkspur
colorado
USA
2804 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2009 : 7:07:54 PM
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I thought I was just the only one going thru this - I was really getting in the dumps because of it. Now that I live alone I was wondering if it was just me. It seems like everyone I met is on a negative side, now I understand things are ruff and life is getting more then unfair but I am one who believes if all we do is focus on the negative then that is all I am going to get. I am finding it hard to keep myself pumped after talking with folks. I love coming on MJ because at least I find some sun shine.
Would love to know how you can turn this around???
Grace Gerber Larkspur Funny Farm and Fiber Art Studio
Where the spirits are high and the fiber is deep http://www.larkspurfunnyfarm.etsy.com http://larkspurfunnyfarm.blogspot.com
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Mikki
True Blue Farmgirl
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1510 Posts
Mikki
Austin
Indiana
USA
1510 Posts |
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dutchy
True Blue Farmgirl
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4427 Posts
4427 Posts |
Posted - Mar 29 2009 : 12:00:45 AM
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Sheila, believe you me, I also know how difficult that is! My mom was a sweet lady, but complained about SO much: Her marriage to our father (which was NOT half as bad as she always told me) Her weight (she was not overweight, just a bit chubby but she was 81 when she passed!!) The prices of groceries (oke, they are expensive but what can you do about it) Not seeing my brothers often enough (they didn't live close by but called when possible) Not seeing her grandkids (she told people she didn't have any) And OH SO many more.
It drains you, doesn't it. It drains you from being happy and content. Please try to let it not upset you too much, easier said than done!!
Many hugs from Marian, a fellow PINK lover :)
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
My personal blog: http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me and mine :)
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idsweetie72
True Blue Farmgirl
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129 Posts
Sandra
New Meadows
idaho
USA
129 Posts |
Posted - Mar 29 2009 : 08:45:52 AM
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Poor dear- I know where you are coming from! My mother-out-law was so negative all the time! If the sun was shining it was too bright, if the temp was 72 the wind was too cold- and my ex picked up on that- and was exactly like her! It was so frustrating! Nothing was ever correct or great- All you can do is hold on to your heart and take some time for yourself- and know that no matter what anyone says you are doing your best! Blessings!!
Mazy Day Farm |
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brightmeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
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2045 Posts
Brenda
Lucas
Ohio
USA
2045 Posts |
Posted - Mar 29 2009 : 09:01:36 AM
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I hear you loud and clear! The funny thing is, even the most negative people can find someone else and point out that they have a more negative attitude.
I have one person in particular in mind in my family. I try to point out positive changes she can make in her own life. She always has a reason not to make those changes, though... I think if I keep pointing them out she will either give in and try one or two of them; or get tired of spending all her time around me (where she doesn't get much sympathy) and then I won't have to put up with her...
If you think your son and your husband are criticizing you- don't take it personally but look at what else is bothering them. I can guess that your son is unhappy that he isn't more independent but somehow is frustrated from moving out on his own? What roadblock is holding him back? Can you help him work on that?
You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands - You shall be happy and it shall be well with you. -Psalm 128.2 Visit my blog at http://brightmeadowfarms.blogspot.com ,web site store at http://www.watkinsonline.com/fish or my homepage at http://home.earthlink.net/~brightmeadow |
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CountryBorn
True Blue Farmgirl
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1545 Posts
Mary Jane
New York
USA
1545 Posts |
Posted - Mar 29 2009 : 5:43:26 PM
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Shelia, you are right there are a lot of negative people out there. It is not easy to live with, or just to hear all the time. I can only keep quiet so long and then I usually say something to them. I know, they won't pay any attention to me, but I try! I just get so sick of people who complain about everything and anything. My mother in law God rest her soul, was one of those people,nobody ever did anything right, or said anything right,nothing was to her liking. I always said to my husband, if Jesus came down to earth today, she would say he was wearing the wrong sandals! That still cracks him up to this day. Maybe that is the key pinkroses, just keep your sense of humor and don't let them get you down. Because God knows they sure will try!
MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
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Celticheart
True Blue Farmgirl
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811 Posts
Marcia
WA
USA
811 Posts |
Posted - Mar 29 2009 : 6:29:30 PM
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Wow Sheila! I can identify. I hear it at home, I hear it at work, I hear it at home.... My husband is so pessimistic and so is the doctor I work for. I could get so depressed if I listened to to the two of them much. I must tune them out....alot. I'm just naturally more optimistic. It drives my husband crazy.
I have to keep telling myself: 1)There is ALWAYS somebody worse off than we are 2)I believe something good will always come out of something bad 3)And no matter how bad we think things are there is always somebody in worse shape 4)Have an attitude of gratitude.
The last one is the hardest for DH. Work has been really slow or non-existent lately for him and it didn't matter how much money would come in he would complain that it wasn't enough. Maybe true but....I finally told him that nothing would turn around if he didn't learn to be grateful for what did come in, no matter how little. He didn't take that very well but has been trying harder to look on the bright side. Mind you, I'm not sure what he's complaining about. I'm the one with 3 jobs!
Marcia--doing a little complaining of my own it seems
It's not about being perfect, but enjoying what you do. Set aside time to be creative.
Robyn Pandolph
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Sue Feely
True Blue Farmgirl
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1044 Posts
Sue
Buffalo
New York
USA
1044 Posts |
Posted - Mar 29 2009 : 8:30:39 PM
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Sheila and all -
I am in the same boat, husband is very negative to just about everything I do or say. He knows this stuff hurts me but never backs down, sometimes I treat him as he treats me (even though it goes against everything I believe in) and he gets mad. I tell him that I am treating him as he treats me and usually states something like "Yea right, like I would do that! His mother is the same type but even worse then him! I actually have not talked to her for over two months now, I can't take it anymore, the way she treats me and my husband whom do everything for her!
Well this is enough, I am just rambling and venting and thanks for listening everyone.
Sue Feely Sister #349 |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
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22941 Posts
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Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Mar 29 2009 : 8:44:18 PM
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Oh I am so sorry you are having to go through this! My husband sometimes get depressed and negative and that is usually when we get into our worst fights. I must admit I can be that way too. I don't have any pearls of wisdom other than maybe making sure that you love yourself and feel sure about all your decisions, so when people are negative towards you, your inner strength won't let their negativity worm in on you. *hugs*
Alee Farmgirl Sister #8 www.awarmheart.com Please come visit Nora and me on our blog: www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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harmonyfarm
True Blue Farmgirl
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785 Posts
Debbie
Southeastern
Ohio
USA
785 Posts |
Posted - Mar 30 2009 : 08:05:02 AM
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All I can say is just keep trying to reflect possitivity from yourself and hope it rubs off. Be the positive person that everyone wants to hang out with. I often seek out positive people to spend some time with...it helps balance things out! But one thing is sure, our culture has turned very negative about everything and I think alot of it has to do with us constantly being bombarded by negativity in the news! Just hold your head up high and don't give in to them!!!!!!
Debbie
"If you can't find the time to do it right...how will you find the time to do it over" |
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