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Across the Fence:  Giving myself persmission...  |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 25 2009 : 10:41:30 AM
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To enjoy having a career. I really like my chosen field and the wonderful people I am getting to work with. I am very passionate about it. I keep a PINK 2 inch binder with work and professionally related articles, ideas, inspiration. I love to read the journals and articles and do all the cool and intricate research. I am giving myself permission to love my work because I grew up in a family where women where to be barefoot and pregnant and working women were bad Mom's. Believe me, I do NOT believe that at all but I had to overcome that last hurdle that I really do love to work and get into my job. I spent many years putting my energy into things I did not like doing but thought that was what I was SUPPOSED to do, since WORKING was out of the question. Dumb, I know, but that is the brainwashing that went on during my childhood. Just thought I would share. It is ok to be who you really want to be and gosh darn it, it actually makes you a happier, better person.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
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KayB
True Blue Farmgirl
540 Posts
Kay
Del City
Oklahoma
USA
540 Posts |
Posted - Mar 25 2009 : 2:45:47 PM
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Oh, honey. Been there, done that. I wanted to go to college and then maybe medical school and my mother had a fit. She said all I needed to get to do was get married and have kids, all women could do was be teachers, secretaries, and nurses. Never helped me at all. However, my brothers were little gods. My 2 younger sisters (10 and 12 years younger) however, needed college to get somewhere in this life. They didn't want to go and instead got married. I also couldn't take certain classes in high school (auto repair) because I was a girl. Anyway, at the age of 32, with a disabled hubby and 3 kids in tow, I joined the Army and learned how to be a diesel mechanic. I loved it!!! I was in for 9 years until I got hurt and had no choice but to go home. Now, I'm just doing office work, but I thank the Lord for everything I have and everything He's allowed me to do. My grandma had to raise 4 kids on her own after my grandfather died, and my father left my mom with 4 kids, so how my mother came up with her ideas, I will never understand. I tried the stay at home mom routine and was not happy. Maybe if I had more stuff instead of just raising kids, such as gardening and such, I would have been okay. But both my girls noticed I was much happier as a working mom.
Kay
Life's a dance you learn as you go |
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Diane B Carter
True Blue Farmgirl
1270 Posts
Diane
Blasdell
N.Y.
USA
1270 Posts |
Posted - Mar 25 2009 : 3:06:02 PM
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My parents would of married me off at a young age but I wanted no part of it. I had a job and worked for 37 years. I also joined the Army reserves because I had to work every week-end and if you were in the reserves you got 1 week-end off to go work for the Army. I married had 2 children, worked full time,found out my DH was worthless, divorced him raised my sons. 1 is a lawyer the other an IT Administrator. I'm still thanking God for answering my prayers with the 2 boys. I was tired but I would not change much in my life. I think stay at home moms need to want to stay a home and I think it is wonderful if they can. I couldn't but everything worked out and when the boys were in school they didn't notice me gone. I worked 6am to 2pm for years. You have to do what you feel is right,If you have children they will adapt so will you. I taught my sons If mama isn't happy your not going to be very happy either. If you ask my sons they will tell you the first words of wisdom I gave them was, Keep it covered. The second, the car won't start if the seatbelt isn't on. and last As long as no one gets hurt it will be ok. I couldn't believe they listened and learned. I'm such a lucky mom.
Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Mar 25 2009 : 7:58:28 PM
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Thank you for understanding. This has really set me free. Right now, I am printing out some information for my career growth and I am all giddy and excited!!!
I never had a positive role model in my life up until the military. Let alone, I never had a positive female role model. It has taken a lot of years of soul searching and a deep understanding of who I really am to get to this point. Each day, I seem to let go a little bit more of the crazy programming that I have in my head and each time I see a little bit more of me. Kinda like my own little episode of LOST in my head... : )
But seriously, I had to undo a lot of bad thinking, mostly self doubt and being scared, to get her. By giving myself permission, I take great leaps and bounds forward.
Thanks for your insight and honesty.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
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dutchy
True Blue Farmgirl
4427 Posts
4427 Posts |
Posted - Mar 25 2009 : 10:39:11 PM
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YES!!!!! You go girls, all of ya! Go after your dreams and try to make them true, please!
I urge with all my heart to do so, because i too have had dreams when growing up (marriage, kiddies, a nice house, career) and was not allowed to have them. SO you go and have a great career!!
I am now just trying to live MY life the way I want it. It is so hard to just now find out who I really am inside, but in a way it is also fun. I have just entered puberty, lol
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me and mine :)
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babysmama
True Blue Farmgirl
931 Posts
Elizabeth
Iowa
931 Posts |
Posted - Mar 26 2009 : 06:34:04 AM
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Heather, go for your dream!!
But I wanted to point out that maybe your mother was being a good role model by doing what she wanted to do, which was being barefoot and pregnant. She should have encouraged her daughters to follow THEIR dreams, but there really are women who choose the stay-at-home mommy path and that is their dream and career. That is the career I have choosen and I am following my dreams (most days!) but I will also encourage my daughter(s) to do what they desire when they get older, I will not hold them back from a different career path which they may choose.
-Elizabeth |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Mar 26 2009 : 07:10:24 AM
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My mother was and still is VERY unhappy in her life. If you read any of my older posts, she really regrets life passing her by. And no, she never encouraged me at all, even to this day. This is the garbage I am dealing with but I am rising about it. : )
I applaud LOUDLY any woman or man who can stay home full time. That is the toughest job on Earth and I have held some hard jobs (working on the flight deck of an Aircraft carrier...piece of cake compared to being a SAHM/SAHD) : )
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
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babysmama
True Blue Farmgirl
931 Posts
Elizabeth
Iowa
931 Posts |
Posted - Mar 26 2009 : 08:12:53 AM
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I must have missed those postings. It is sad when a women never fulfills her dreams and is unhappy in the life they have led but never changes what is making them unhappy. I think the most important thing a parent can ever do for their child is encourage them to chase their dreams. Push them to go further and tell them they can be whatever they what to be. Whether it is a money maker or deemed successful a parent should rejoice in their child realizing their goal in life. It makes me sad when a parent pushes a child to be a doctor or lawyer just because it runs in the family or is "deemed" successful when all the child wants to be is an artist and that child goes with the flow and never does what would truely make them happy. That is when a parent has failed, I think, by pushing their child in a different direction or making them fit a mold.
-Elizabeth |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Mar 26 2009 : 08:21:32 AM
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Girl...be glad you did!! : )
That is the whole crux of this, I gave myself permission to let go of HER ideas that had been swirling in my head. I finally turend that little voice off and I now listen to my own heart and head. I do not live up to my parents "plan" for me and even after leaving home 15 years ago and striking out on my own and having great success, I am still not good enough. When I am successful, they do everything they can to make me feel bad, to kick me down a notch.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
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Across the Fence: Giving myself persmission... |
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Giving myself persmission...
