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Gathered Up:  witchy farmgirls?  |
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Rosemary
True Blue Farmgirl
1825 Posts
Virginia
USA
1825 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 11 2014 : 5:01:39 PM
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| By the way Rachel, one Rachel Pollack book I would especially recommend (hard to choose!) is "Tarot Wisdom: Spiritual Teachings and Deeper Meanings." It's a beautifully designed book, for one thing, really a pleasure to read. I like how she includes insights from many different cultures and divination traditions to expand out understanding of the wisdom contained in Tarot. It's on Amazon but naturally it would be nice if you could find it at a real live bookstore. |
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Katlady93
True Blue Farmgirl
361 Posts
Charlotte
Denmark
SC
USA
361 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2014 : 12:19:11 PM
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Greetings everyone. we have been so very quiet recently. how's is it going for everyone? i really need to vent a little.
I am trying to balance my dad my husband and my job. Dad misses mom terribly, and doesn't want to be alone. so, he wants us to move in with him, a move of about an hour. It would put us closer to doctor's that my husband needs, and a much, much better job market for me. only, he wants us to give up the dogs and cats to move into his house. I have a real problem with that. they are part of the family.
i am staying with him during the week, (because my job is only 10 minutes from his house). He is such a Gloomy Gus, so negative about everything!!!! and so critical. i don't want to complain but i need to do something!! My sister is loving in my camper right now rather than living in the same house. at least on the weekends, i escape to the DH. but it's not fair to him either. he is still having issues form the stroke. so if we move to Augusta, he will be closer to the help he needs. leaving him alone during the week pretty much guarantees that he immerses himself in TV, or DVDs. and not eating properly. i can't MAKE him take care of himself, but it is so scary to think that he doesn't care enough to do it.
and he says he's ok, but i worry, w ay too much i know. but i can't seem to break the cycle.
does any one have any ideas or suggestions?
Thanks
Blessed be.
Happy Yule, Y'all
Some dreams are worth the risk it takes to make them real.
Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footsteps on the moon. |
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Pizzarita
True Blue Farmgirl
228 Posts
Rita
Monroeville
NJ
USA
228 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2014 : 7:02:30 PM
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Sounds like a very tough situation. We're here for you to vent. I guess if I were in that situation I would look into a small addition on dad's house or even look into buying or renting shared housing such as a duplex. This way you could be close but still able to keep your pets. I'm sure he would not consider moving with you...and probably none of this is financially feasible...oh some days life seems so challenging. Good luck to you
Rita
Farmgirl Sister #6110 |
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ddmashayekhi
True Blue Farmgirl
4759 Posts
Dawn
Naperville
Illinois
USA
4759 Posts |
Posted - Dec 10 2014 : 06:15:15 AM
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I agree with Rita. Is it possible for you to rent a place in the area where your father lives? Nothing is worse than someone who is all gloom and doom. It would depress anyone to be around that. Perhaps your father could join a seniors club or volunteer for something he likes. Getting out and about would give him something to do and keep him from feeling so alone. That could be why he is so grumpy and critical.
Your husband and pet family are your #1 priority. Don't allow yourself to be pulled in all directions, focus on what is best for your own household first. Hang in there! Vent here all you like, hope this gets resolved quickly.
Dawn in IL |
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Rosemary
True Blue Farmgirl
1825 Posts
Virginia
USA
1825 Posts |
Posted - Dec 10 2014 : 07:42:51 AM
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| Charlotte, it sounds to me as if your father's demands are having a negative impact on several members of your family. There must be options that you could all sit down to discuss, perhaps with professional guidance from someone skilled in managing elder affairs and situations just like this. With the "graying of America," there are many creative programs being developed now that could be of help to you. Your father might find some variation on his demands to be acceptable, but even if he continues to fight, you have to continue to protect your own health and that of your family. If you find that selfish, please remember that if you get all strung out and drained, you won't be helpful to anyone. It could be your father is just afraid of being alone, as Dawn has suggested. Maybe you and your extended family members could agree to each visit with him for a few hours once a week, just to be sure he's safe. Even if he isn't interested in getting out more and meeting new people, there are, as I said, new programs that are designed with exactly that very common elder block in mind. Often, asking a lonely, scared older person to help someone else -- outside the home -- can do wonders. Can he volunteer to teach others something he's good at? Bottom line: your father does not have the right to demand that you give up your life (and damage your own family's relationships) to fill the void left by your mother's death. He needs to address that loss in a healthier way. Get some professional guidance about this. It doesn't have to cost anything. Even if it's only you that will go, do it. You'll get good advice and will feel more supported than you do now, which will help everybody. |
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Katlady93
True Blue Farmgirl
361 Posts
Charlotte
Denmark
SC
USA
361 Posts |
Posted - Dec 10 2014 : 08:35:38 AM
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DH & I talked about finding a rental near dad. that would be the best solution, IMO.
But, right now, I don't have a "permanent" job, I am working through a temp placement service. there is a chance this job will become permanent, but I won't know until after the first of the year. (but, really, in this day and age, is any job really permanent?)
i think, in his own way, Dad wants to be helpful, he just doesn't know how. he has interests, and friends that he gets out and does things with, but he is lonely. he has always been a "Negative Nancy". so i don't know if that will change, but i don't have to let it get me down.
my DH is wonderful, he tries to keep me encouraged and going forward, i draw a lot of strength from him.
i think i need to find professional help with this, as you suggest Rosemary. i didn't think about it. that is one great thing about this area. there is a LOT of all kinds of stuff. i am sure i will be able to find someone that can help. even if i am the only one listening.
Some dreams are worth the risk it takes to make them real.
Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footsteps on the moon. |
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Katlady93
True Blue Farmgirl
361 Posts
Charlotte
Denmark
SC
USA
361 Posts |
Posted - Dec 11 2014 : 08:06:40 AM
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today, I cultivate an attitude of patience, and let solutions arrive at their own pace.
I saw this sign outside one of the offices here at the college where I am working. Patience is NOT one of my virtues. but maybe I am trying too hard to "make" things work out.
If I take care of me, I can take of care of the rest of the things in my life that need me to be there.
Maybe
Blessed be.
Happy Yule |
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Rosemary
True Blue Farmgirl
1825 Posts
Virginia
USA
1825 Posts |
Posted - Dec 11 2014 : 11:15:02 AM
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Charlotte, it's funny how we get just the right messages when we need them, isn't it?
Remember, this is not really your problem. It's your father's. The solution has to come from him, with your educated help. No beating yourself up if he continues to set up road blocks, right?
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Katlady93
True Blue Farmgirl
361 Posts
Charlotte
Denmark
SC
USA
361 Posts |
Posted - Dec 11 2014 : 12:34:45 PM
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I am trying not to beat myself up, and I am trying to remember that he is elderly, lonely, and trying to be helpful. he is just not doing a very good job of it :-)
Some dreams are worth the risk it takes to make them real.
Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footsteps on the moon. |
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Rosemary
True Blue Farmgirl
1825 Posts
Virginia
USA
1825 Posts |
Posted - Dec 11 2014 : 2:24:05 PM
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| Oh I know. Charlotte. It's just a saying we use around where I live when people take on difficult tasks that might not always turn out 100% the way they hoped. I know you will be of tremendous help to him. Our dads are so special! |
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Katlady93
True Blue Farmgirl
361 Posts
Charlotte
Denmark
SC
USA
361 Posts |
Posted - Dec 15 2014 : 06:20:22 AM
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I understand. DH is wonderful, he is trying so hard to take care of himself right now. as long as he has a very clear picture of what he has to do, he is okay. and I have to remember that he is not the same person he was pre-stroke as he is now. I drew a lot of my strength from him, and some days he just doesn't have enough to share. so I have been learning more coping mechanisms. thankfully, living here, the weather is so very much nicer than n Wisconsin, (it was 70 yesterday!!) and i/we can get outside and walk, do things, enjoy Nature. that helps a lot.
but then i had a MAJOR meltdown Saturday, and spent most of the day in tears or on the verge of tears. i felt better Sunday and today is a little better, so i guess i have to just take it minute by minute because i am surely not up to day by day yet!!
Blessed be |
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Katlady93
True Blue Farmgirl
361 Posts
Charlotte
Denmark
SC
USA
361 Posts |
Posted - Dec 19 2014 : 11:21:03 AM
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and today is even better. sun is out, it is not cold or hot or miserable weather in any way. They provided a wonderful luncheon at work today and I am so FULL!!
last night, I realized that for whatever reason I had become isolated from everyone who could help, even if helping was just lending an ear. so I have begun to get back on track and get things moving forward again.
i have been invited to a winter solstice pot luck party by some new friends, didn't expect that, but it was a welcome wonderful invitation. and since it's potluck i have to research and find a new recipe to try.
i decided to crochet a scarf for my Secret Santa gift here at work, and that made me realize how much i have stopped doing, and i need to get back to doing.
so things are looking up. and i have to focus on taking care of me, the rest will follow. |
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rksmith
True Blue Farmgirl
858 Posts
Rachel
Clayton
GA
USA
858 Posts |
Posted - Dec 20 2014 : 10:54:45 AM
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Glad to hear that the stars are looking brighter in your sky Charlotte. May they continue to shine their light on you and yours.
Rachel
Farmgirl Sister #2753
True enlightenment is nothing but the nature of one's own self being fully realised-- His Holiness the Dali Lama
www.madameapothecary.com |
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rksmith
True Blue Farmgirl
858 Posts
Rachel
Clayton
GA
USA
858 Posts |
Posted - Dec 21 2014 : 08:20:24 AM
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Wishing everyone a very blessed Yule.
Rachel
Farmgirl Sister #2753
True enlightenment is nothing but the nature of one's own self being fully realised-- His Holiness the Dali Lama
www.madameapothecary.com |
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Katlady93
True Blue Farmgirl
361 Posts
Charlotte
Denmark
SC
USA
361 Posts |
Posted - Dec 24 2014 : 2:47:54 PM
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A Blessed Yule to all.
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rksmith
True Blue Farmgirl
858 Posts
Rachel
Clayton
GA
USA
858 Posts |
Posted - Nov 28 2015 : 9:03:38 PM
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Crap, it has been almost a year and no posts here. I know things have been crazy for me and my family this year. How is everyone?
Rachel
Farmgirl Sister #2753
True enlightenment is nothing but the nature of one's own self being fully realised-- His Holiness the Dali Lama
http://rachelsmithhhp.com
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NAGarcia
True Blue Farmgirl
102 Posts
Natalie
Gresham
OR
USA
102 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2016 : 06:57:35 AM
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Newish to the community, anybody still here?
Natalie
^*^ We are the weirdos, mister. ^*^ |
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ceridwen
True Blue Farmgirl
899 Posts
Carole
New York
USA
899 Posts |
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NAGarcia
True Blue Farmgirl
102 Posts
Natalie
Gresham
OR
USA
102 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2016 : 10:25:05 AM
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Well, here's hoping. :-)
Natalie
^*^ We are the weirdos, mister. ^*^ |
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Blessed in Colorado
True Blue Farmgirl
6717 Posts
Debbie L.
Oregon
USA
6717 Posts |
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NAGarcia
True Blue Farmgirl
102 Posts
Natalie
Gresham
OR
USA
102 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2016 : 7:46:52 PM
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Well, that's three of us!
Natalie
Farmgirl Sister #7004
^*^ We are the weirdos, mister. ^*^ |
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TeJo
Farmgirl in Training
39 Posts
Teresa
Shelby
AL
USA
39 Posts |
Posted - May 21 2016 : 06:15:20 AM
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Nice to see people are still around! I've been out of the loop for quite some time. Was really a big participant, but enjoy reading all the news.
Just got moved from central Al to N Ga mountains. Preparing and moving has taken up the last few months, although the actual selling, buying and moving went very quickly. The entire process hit me like a ton of bricks. I think I'm just now beginning to regroup.
As was said earlier, funny how you see the right things when you need it. Scrolling back through these posts woke me up, made me see how I have isolated and fallen into a rut.
Thanks for being here, and I hope you all are having a nice weekend!
To me, a witch is a woman that is capable of letting her intuition take hold of her actions, that communes with her environment, that isn't afraid of facing challenges.
- Paulo Coelho -
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ceridwen
True Blue Farmgirl
899 Posts
Carole
New York
USA
899 Posts |
Posted - May 21 2016 : 06:56:33 AM
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Well, we could all start it back up again! I love the title! Oh and I love witches!
Teresa, glad you are back. It truly is a great place to hang out, at all hours of the night! 
Carole
Farmgirl Sister 3610 - Nov 7/2011
http://www.carolesquiltingetc.com
http://www.fibrejunction.com |
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NAGarcia
True Blue Farmgirl
102 Posts
Natalie
Gresham
OR
USA
102 Posts |
Posted - May 21 2016 : 07:02:45 AM
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I'm in. Ditto on the "moving is a ton of bricks" thing. Yuck. Get out of that rut, girl! :-)
Natalie
Farmgirl Sister #7004
^*^ We are the weirdos, mister. ^*^ |
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ceridwen
True Blue Farmgirl
899 Posts
Carole
New York
USA
899 Posts |
Posted - May 21 2016 : 09:39:04 AM
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Well, I did a bit of snooping around and read various pages of this thread. They all seemed like wonderful ladies and so passionate. The founder is Tasha Rose and it doesn't appear that a henhouse was created. They mainly posted on the main forum. Sadly, most are no longer active on the forum.
There is an interesting read on GMO (interview Jeffrey Smith - Interview 5-18-10) that Heide (Nudefoodfarm - who was a frequent contributor but no longer active) posted here: http://www.maryjanesfarm.org/snitz/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=30691&whichpage=32
Anyway, they all seemed so knowledgeable! Catch you later! Cheers!
Carole
Farmgirl Sister 3610 - Nov 7/2011
http://www.carolesquiltingetc.com
http://www.fibrejunction.com |
Edited by - ceridwen on May 21 2016 09:40:09 AM |
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Gathered Up: witchy farmgirls? |
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witchy farmgirls?
