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Family Matters:  Whoa!!! He just slammed on the brakes  |
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Jami
True Blue Farmgirl
1238 Posts
Jami
Ellensburg
WA
USA
1238 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 13 2009 : 09:09:02 AM
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Lisa, though the situation was not exactly the same as yours, I too have been through a divorce and yes, they get "nasty" fast, no matter how nice and agreeable you try to be, there is just no way of making the other half happy especially when you're the one who wants the divorce.
I think you are making very sound choices for yourself, daughter and your sanity. Take your losses and cut him loose and do all of the things to keep yourselves safe and taken care of. I know the "talk" is not fun but it's just going to happen because you cannot control what he chooses to say to others. You know this man and what he is capable of, good and bad. I'm not taking any sides here, but remember...he's hurt and when men get hurt (and have other problems that don't help them think clearly) they are going to spread it all over the place and twist up things to make everyone feel sorry for them. He sounds quite manipulative. Real sorry you're going through all of this, but you are quite amazing in how you've handled yourself and I'm real proud of you, one farmgirl to another.
Jami in WA
Farmgirl Sister #266
http://woolyinwashington.wordpress.com/
http://farmhouseflair.etsy.com |
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therusticcottage
True Blue Farmgirl
4439 Posts
Kay
Vancouver
WA
USA
4439 Posts |
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lisamarie508
True Blue Farmgirl
2648 Posts
Lisa
Idaho City
ID
USA
2648 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2009 : 6:52:28 PM
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Alee, somehow I missed your two posts at the top of the page! Yes, I can have chickens and I called city hall the other day to see if there is a limit and they said no. But, if I want to have a rooster, I would have to get written permission from my neighbors. I don't need a rooster (at least not yet!). So, I put in my order already. I'm getting 3 Barred Rocks and 3 Aracaunas (sp?). I think that'll be a good start. Six may be all I need.
And, if you want to help paint or move the sprinklers/hoses around or whatever, I'll be happy to oblige. You can stay in my camper. While it's parked it's my guest house. And now that I won't have to share it with a man, I can girlie it up!
Yes, girls, it's incredibly frustrating at times but I keep telling myself it'll be over soon. This frustration is only a temporary state and when it's all over, I'll have the peace I've always wanted.
Yeah, Jami, I realize he's hurt, but as I told him to his face...he made his bed. His talk around town and to my kids doesn't hurt me any. I guess I'm just tired of people coming up to me or calling me to tell me this stuff. The fact that he continues to lie about everything (not only to friends but to me, too) only reinforces my resolve to continue on without him. He has lucid moments, on occasion, where he actually seems to understand why I left him and seems to feel real remorse for his actions but, for the most part, he doesn't get it at all. Unless the remorse is just another one of his games that he likes to play (head games are VERY important to him) and he literally believes his own lies? Well, I'm not a shrink and it won't do me any good to try to figure him out at this point. His strange and erratic moments are what I have to watch out for and I do for self protection.
Farmgirl Sister #35
"If you can not do great things, do small things in a great way." Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)
my blog:
http://lisamariesbasketry.blogspot.com/
[size=1]My apron website:
http://lisamariesaprons.bravehost.com [size=1] |
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dutchy
True Blue Farmgirl
4427 Posts
4427 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2009 : 12:26:47 AM
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Lisa I can only give you big (((HUGS))) and no advice. But the given advice sound wonderful and I feel like you are doing great already!!
Keep going strong girl, you'll make it no doubt about that!!
Hugs and prayers.
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me and mine :)
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Lainey
True Blue Farmgirl
2401 Posts
Elaine
Waco
Kentucky
USA
2401 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2009 : 04:02:12 AM
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Lisa, no advice here either, just hugs and prayers. The advice here so far sounds very good though. I'm so sorry you've had to go through this.
Hugs!
Farmgirl Sister #25
http://countrygirldreams.blogspot.com/
An Angel says, 'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.' |
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LisaTwo
True Blue Farmgirl
127 Posts
Lisa
Hampden
Maine
USA
127 Posts |
Posted - Feb 19 2009 : 08:04:11 AM
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Hang in there Lisa, I've been there. The only advice I can give is to not let it get you down. I lost a lot during my split and I held on to the resentment for a LONG time. Then one day I realized how lucky I was to get out of it for so little. Karma is a beautifal thing. I was forced to leave my dream home, a beutifal Victorian home in town (on a postage stamp piece of lawn) and move to a rampshackle 100 year old farm house with snakes living in the cellar (long story) with 13 acres of wild blackberrys and overgrown grape vines. Which, of course, is where I was supposed to be all along. He still lives in the house we shared becuase he thinks it bothers me, but hasn't been able to keep it up and it is falling down around him and my little farm gets lovelier and lovelier every year. It was so worth every penny. Someone told me a long time ago that education costs a fortune no matter where you go to school, but it's never money wasted. So true.
Good luck dear!
Lisa T.
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22937 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22937 Posts |
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lisamarie508
True Blue Farmgirl
2648 Posts
Lisa
Idaho City
ID
USA
2648 Posts |
Posted - Feb 19 2009 : 9:26:08 PM
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Lisa, I love your story and that quote. I've never heard it before either and it's right on the money. No worries about me getting down. Can't happen! I know what ever I'm going through, it's just temporary and with a little work, sacrifice and faith it always gets better. Of course, friends who won't let you sit at home alone and push you(or drag you) to get out and do stuff helps a lot, too!
Farmgirl Sister #35
"If you can not do great things, do small things in a great way." Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)
my blog:
http://lisamariesbasketry.blogspot.com/
[size=1]My apron website:
http://lisamariesaprons.bravehost.com [size=1] |
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Family Matters: Whoa!!! He just slammed on the brakes |
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Whoa!!! He just slammed on the brakes
