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Parenting & Farm Kids:  Is it my imagination or  |
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acairnsmom
True Blue Farmgirl
1319 Posts
audrey
cheyenne
wy
1319 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 18 2008 : 1:53:18 PM
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are young families choosing to have more children? I know several families who have 4 children and a couple who even have 6! These are all responsible people who are quite capable of preventing unwanted pregnancies so I'm assuming they are all planned (or at least all but the last one who I know can come as a surprise!). And this isn't a religious thing either, I know Catholics and Mormons consider large families as the norm but the people I know are neither Catholic or Mormons.
It also seems a lot more Mom's are opting to be at home rather than have a career. Of course the day care would be a killer with that many kiddo's!
Don't get me wrong, I think this is great and hope this means that the younger generation is putting emphasis on family rather than self like Gen X'ers are known for. My generation seemed to want only one child if that (last of the baby boomers).
Has anyone else noticed this trend?
Audrey
Toto, we're not in Kansas any more! |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Dec 18 2008 : 3:23:42 PM
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Well..we are NOT a "young" family, but you just described us. We are thinking of having at least 2 more kids, though I am 34 right now.( Wish I was 24, but oh well,,,enjoy them while you got them) : )
I was just thinking about this the other day. When we went to the fair, there was a lovely young couple with 3 little one's in a row and a 4th on the way. She had on a little sundress and flip flops and the kids were so well behaved for being so young. They didn't look like that had much materially but they sure looked happy with all the wonderful joy they possessed. This is our dream life.
Everyone assumes that I am getting my degree to make big money and live a big lifestyle, when in fact the opposite is true. I want to work because I can, not because I have too. I think everything has its season.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
Posted - Dec 18 2008 : 4:38:27 PM
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I guess we would fall in that "young" family category. My hubby and I are 27 and we have two little ones. My dd is 3 and my ds will soon be 2. Even though, we only have two right now, we have plans to have as many as we safely can. We were hoping for a good even number like 6, but we will see what God has planned.
For me, I grew up as the oldest of 3. I always thought that there was ONLY three of us and imagined what it would be like if there had been more. I saw other families that had one or two and just thought how miserable that can be...(lol..I was an opinionated child)
My dh grew up as an only child for a while and then when his Dad married, his new stepmom had 6 of her own and he was no longer the only one. From his perspective, he liked having more brothers and sisters.
So, from our life experiences we've concluded that every little kid needs lots of brothers and sisters. :)
We also feel that God opens and closes the womb and though we are not totally against birth control, we are in a position right now where we feel that it is God who should be deciding when and how many young'uns we have.
HUGS
Jessie
Farmgirl Sister #235
Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work You don't give up.
Stop by my blog for a visit www.messiejessie2.blogspot.com |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
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acairnsmom
True Blue Farmgirl
1319 Posts
audrey
cheyenne
wy
1319 Posts |
Posted - Dec 19 2008 : 07:40:58 AM
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OK, I like the idea of 4-6 children but I do think 18 is going a tad too far! I grew up the middle of 3 girls and felt I never got enough attention from my parents, I can't imagine sharing Mom and Dad with 17 others!
Jessie, you're right that God opens and closes the womb. He closed mine for sure. Went through 2+ years of fertility treaments and they never could figure out why I couldn't conceive. Absolutely nothing wrong with me or hubby so who would that be but God? For whatever reason, he determined we were not to have children. I think that's why I like the idea of the larger families I see lately. DH and I both had wanted several kids but it was not to be.
Audrey
Toto, we're not in Kansas any more! |
Edited by - acairnsmom on Dec 19 2008 07:48:58 AM |
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Contrary Wife
True Blue Farmgirl
2164 Posts
Teresa Sue
Tekoa
WA
USA
2164 Posts |
Posted - Dec 19 2008 : 07:54:24 AM
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You just never know what child will be born that might change the course of humanity for the better with his/her knowledge or actions.
Teresa Sue
Farmgirl Sister #316
MJ's Heirloom Mavens Badgebadger
MJ's Heirloom Mavens Bookclub Coordinator
"Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly." The Dalai Lama |
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dutchy
True Blue Farmgirl
4427 Posts
4427 Posts |
Posted - Dec 19 2008 : 08:02:21 AM
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It sure seems that way, doesn't it. Here too, I see many young families with 3 or 4 children.
I would have LOVED to have a husband and children, but alas :(
I have 2 older brothers, much older. My one brother is 5 yrs older and the other one was over 12 years older, so in a way I grew up as an "only" child.
Oldest brother passed away, other brother lives in Thailand, so yes having more siblings would have been nice. But mom didn't conceive easily, hence the many years between us.
But 18 children is indeed a TAD too many, lol. But I have seen pictures and read stories about that family and they sure look like a lovely family, and still welcome more :)
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/
Again new creations added, too cute lol. Come and check it out!!
http://princess-of-pink-creations.blogspot.com/
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Edited by - dutchy on Dec 19 2008 08:03:05 AM |
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Dec 19 2008 : 10:00:37 AM
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I always wanted 6 kids. I was only able to have 2, and now have 5 more..through adoption..and I have never regretted that one bit. I love big families!! I honestly don't think I am cut out to mother 18 kids either...but who knows? If I wernt' 50 now I maybe would adopt more. I notice that the older I get the less tolerance for noise I have though..haha.
I grew up the oldest of 3 and always wished there were more of us.
Jenny in Utah
Proud Farmgirl sister #24
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
Posted - Dec 19 2008 : 10:42:01 AM
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I can attest to God being the one in control for this. When dh and I first got married, we tried and tried and tried to have a bab. Finally, I went to the doctors and they told me there was a pretty good chance that I wouldn't be able to because I had endometriosis which leads to infertility. WE had pretty well resolved ourselves to just being a family too, but kept praying anyways. After two early miscarriages, we finally got "really pregnant"..lol with one. About two months into it, I had a problem and miscarried then also.We at least took hope in that we could knew we could conceive--YAY! That gave us renewed hope that we would be able to have children. We prayed and left it up to God and by the same time next year we were expecting our daughter who is now three. I can see too how God must have a sense of humor because when my dd was 8 months old we found out we were then two months into expecting our ds who will be two in february. The most I can figure, is that God waiting for me to just let Him have control and He knew we werent ready. ;)
Jessie
Farmgirl Sister #235
Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work You don't give up.
Stop by my blog for a visit www.messiejessie2.blogspot.com |
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wild daisy
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Madelynne
Billings
Montana
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - Dec 19 2008 : 2:32:26 PM
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This does seem to be the trend. What effect will this economy have on this in the next few years? Who knows. I just hope that no child goes hungry or feels unwanted. Maybe this generation will understand the values of family and friends more then the power of greed.
Madelynne
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knittingmom
True Blue Farmgirl
665 Posts
AnneMarie
Edmonton
Alberta
Canada
665 Posts |
Posted - Dec 19 2008 : 3:54:19 PM
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I think if a family is able to manage with one parent working it doesn't really matter if you have 3-4 or more kids if you don't have to pay for childcare. Larger families are managable if parents are frugal.
"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world" |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Dec 19 2008 : 6:30:17 PM
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I sure wish I had more than 2. My husband has a son from a previous marriage but we don't see him much. I think if I was starting out we would have as many as possible. What's a few more anyway? I love watching the Duggers. There is a family in Tn. with as many kids that are friends with them and even visit. There are tons of hand-me-downs, for sure! I really like the way they have raised their kids to not jump on the first girl or guy that comes along. And the no kissing or sex til marriage. I guess I am a little old fashioned but I think those are very good values for kids now.
A friend of mine has 6 kids. Her mother had 6 kids and she has 12 siblings. My husband is the youngest of 9 kids. I am a middle child of 3. I love to go visit my friend and her 6 kids, Never a dull moment there! And they are all homeschooled, too.
I love big families and I really don't see how 6 are much different money wise as just 2. Think of all the money you'd save on clothes handed down and shoes. Plus there are too many thrift stores around.
Kris
Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you. Maori proverb |
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mikesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3659 Posts
Sherri
Elma
WA
USA
3659 Posts |
Posted - Dec 19 2008 : 7:03:45 PM
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We had four when it wasn't "fashionable" to have more than 2 kids. I always wanted a big family - I was an only child, but dh came from a family of 9 kids and only wanted a couple. We compromised on 3, then had a surprise blessing. I was a stay at home mom even though we had to sacrifice a lot of things. Funny - my oldest daughter always resented that we didn't have as much as her friends with working moms families. She now has three boys, a high-stress, high-demand job, but that's the way she wants it. She won't let the boys wear any of my "homemade" clothes, things that i sell to other moms. She had enough of homemade clothes when she was young she said. My other three, though, aren't that way - but none of them have kids yet. I had to do what was right for dh and I and I guess three happy childhoods out of four wasn't bad!
Farmgirl Sister #98
Check out my new online store
http://www.shopthefrontier.com/VFstore/index.php?manufacturers_id=79&osCsid=6be4b25bf9555031c6e2e86bbde23dba |
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nubidane
True Blue Farmgirl
2886 Posts
Lisa
Georgetown
OH
2886 Posts |
Posted - Dec 19 2008 : 8:10:30 PM
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| I am amazed at that Duggar family. I have no kids & can't manage to get organized. They have 18, plus no debt.. They seem to have a handle on what it takes to provide for a large family, not only basic needs, but morally and spiritually as well. Hats off to them. I flounder merely taking care of my dogs, goats & chickens. |
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Betty J.
True Blue Farmgirl
1403 Posts
Betty
Pasco
WA
USA
1403 Posts |
Posted - Dec 19 2008 : 8:29:40 PM
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I am truly blessed that I only had two, both sons. DH left when the second one was less than a year and I basically raised them by myself. The one thing I am happy with was that they were both the same sex. I don't think I could have handled raging hormones in both directions.
Betty in Pasco |
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babysmama
True Blue Farmgirl
931 Posts
Elizabeth
Iowa
931 Posts |
Posted - Dec 20 2008 : 07:45:52 AM
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Around here the larger families are still considered "freaks". Comments such as "Don't you know what causes that?" are still heard when a mother of a large family is pregnant once again. I think that is sad. I guess I am what you would consider a "young family" since I am 26 and hubby is 30 and we have three little ones ages 5, 3, and 7 months. I have always wanted a large family and hope for at least six children, though it is up to God. I grew up with seven siblings and my mother grew up with nine and my dad with seven. My husband is still getting used to the idea of a large family since he was the youngest of three and never had a good family support circle of relatives so it is a new concept to him.
One thing I have noticed is that everyone was happy when I was pregnant with baby #1. When I had baby #2 20 months later some were excited and some didn't care at all. Baby #3 got very little welcome into this world and I think I only heard from two of my relatives with a congratulations. Each baby is a joy and a blessing but from the world's point of view I get the feeling that 2 is one too many. When I was pregnant with baby #3 I got some strange comments. Twice I heard "Are these all yours?" I felt like looking around myself because I only had two kids...how is that enough to proclaim that? Honestly, having baby #3 was much easier than having baby #2. The older two kids adjusted just fine and are the bestest of friends so hardly noticed the added child.
-Elizabeth |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Dec 20 2008 : 07:54:12 AM
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I think as long as you can love, provide and just be with your kids, it shouldn't matter how many you have. Unfortunately, growing up, we lived around a lot of woman who had kids just to stay on goverment assistance. This was pretty common where I grew up. Those children were seen as nothing more than a paycheck to the Mom's. One lady I work with has 4 children and has continued to work during and after all her pregnancies. You should hear the comments and meaness towards her. I look to her for guidance and inspiration. When I went to drop off some work for her during her last maternity leave, they live in a very simple home, simply decorated but loving house. People think just because she is a manager and makes good $$ she should just save and stay home and buy birth control (yes, these are comments I have heard). I am very much like her and I am using her hints, tips and the way she lives her life as a catalyst for my own.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
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knittingmom
True Blue Farmgirl
665 Posts
AnneMarie
Edmonton
Alberta
Canada
665 Posts |
Posted - Dec 23 2008 : 3:59:14 PM
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I have three and I get a lot of comments such as "oh was your daughter" (our youngest) "planned", or "were you planning on having three?". Does it really matter? My feeling is God planned her existence so here she is (just like the rest of us).
"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world" |
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4forMe
True Blue Farmgirl
166 Posts
Dawn
Easton
MD
166 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2009 : 06:19:44 AM
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We have 4 and it seems acceptable around here, if it isn't, I haven't noticed.
I was having a conversation a few weeks ago with someone who works with DH and his wife (they are expecting twins in June, through invitro) anyway, the wife made a comment about overpopulating the earth and what were my feelings on that since I have 4 children. She was asking out of curiousity not sacastically...My reply was that "my children will be productive taxpaying citizens of society and in my opinion this country could use a few more of those".
Sewing, knitting, gardening mom of 4. |
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levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl
9366 Posts
Denise
Beavercreek
Ohio
USA
9366 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2009 : 07:09:17 AM
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I think it is different everywhere. We only had 3 and then had surgery to end it. We were very remorseful in not letting God handle the size of our family. We had the surgery reversed but apparently God intended for us to have 3 because though the percentages were great for having more children we did not. I now have 2 grandbabies whom I love dearly as well as a son in law and another in the works. So I believe leaving it up to God is the best way and accepting what He chooses is best too, no matter which direction it goes. He does not give anyone more children than He can take care. They are each a blessing no matter what their personalities or whatever because let's face it none of us are perfect and we grow in wisdom and grace by learning from the lessons God teaches us. (I admit I have had to learn the same lessons many times) Anyway, someone once said the God gives us children not for their sake of learning but for ours.
Denise
farmgirl sister #43
"Take a lesson from the teakettle, though up to its
neck in hot water...it sings!"
www.torisgram.etsy.com |
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farmprincess
Farmgirl in Training
16 Posts
Crystal
Abbotsford
British Columbia
Canada
16 Posts |
Posted - Jan 20 2009 : 12:10:47 AM
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My husband and i are hoping to be one of those families, God willing. We are 25 and just got started with a little boy 6 weeks ago. When ppl ask me how many i plan to have i immediately answer, "At LEAST 3". Most ppl make some form of astonished comment and i proceed to explain that last year i was the nanny for 6 boys under 6 and that my dad one of 8, as was his father and his mother was the oldest of 14, so really 3 or 4 isn't so scary. The bottom line, I know i was born to be a mom and while i know it is a challenge and a demanding calling i embrace it willingly, if not occasionally exhaustedly. In case i haven't already proven that i am certifiably crazy, i also am going to start looking into home schooling. So here's to the trend and may God give me strength!!
FarmPrincess
Motherhood is the adventure that lasts a lifetime. |
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rhondacate
True Blue Farmgirl
234 Posts
Rhonda
Janesville
CA
USA
234 Posts |
Posted - Jan 20 2009 : 07:39:40 AM
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I married into a large family. My husband is the oldest of 8. His sister is pregnant with her 8th (and homeschools). Her other sister just had her fifth (also homeschools). Another sibling has 3 and is barely 25 years old.
My husband jokes about wanting 12, but I tell him that he should have looked for someone a lot younger than I am. I'm too old to have 12 kids. :)
~Rhonda
http://rmfo-blogs.com/rhonda |
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Beverley
True Blue Farmgirl
2707 Posts
Beverley
atlanta
Michigan
USA
2707 Posts |
Posted - Jan 20 2009 : 7:52:13 PM
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I had 2 and I thank God everyday for them. I love them dearly. My daughter now all grown up has 4 and I can't love them enough if you ask me. My other sisters and brothers I have 2 of each all have 3 or 4 children each and now have grandchildren. I think how many you have is between God, and your mate and may everyone else just mind their own business!!!! I love kids and would have had more if my first husband had been the man I am married to now. hehehehehehe But that was not be be so I am just so glad for the ones I have. All Kids are a BLESSING and if everyone does not see it that way Oh well. It really is not any of their business!!!
Folks will know how large your soul is by the way you treat a dog....Charles F. Doran
beverley baggett Beverley with an extra E...
http://bevsdoggies.googlepages.com/ |
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fiddlegirl89
True Blue Farmgirl
232 Posts
Kayla
Dunnville
KY
USA
232 Posts |
Posted - Jan 20 2009 : 9:05:21 PM
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LOL at all of this! I am a member of a homeschool forum, and the norm around there is about 12 kids per family, I think! I am oldest of four (3 younger brothers..grrrrhhh sometimes), and I would love to have a big family one day, hopefully in the not-so-distant future!
About all the rude comments...homeschoolers from big families have their say about that as well! I've heard several jokes about it..one guy said that he liked to walk at the end of the family line, and when they went by someone who was gawking, he would say "yes, there are 12 of us..you counted right!" or in response to 'are these ALL yours?'..."no, we left 6 more at home!" or in response to 'don't you know what causes that'...'yep, and it's just so much fun!'
Someone else said that when someone was pointing and obviously counting, to look at them and say "1, 2...1, 2....there are ONLY 2 of them!!!" I don't know of any of the HSers that are Catholic or Mormom...friends of ours have said "No, we're just Baptists that love each other!"
We are old-fashioned, too...best way to be!!!
http://www.custerfamilyfarm.com |
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RuralSuburbia
True Blue Farmgirl
251 Posts
Leslie
Northern CA
USA
251 Posts |
Posted - Jan 21 2009 : 08:41:15 AM
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People who have a lot of children, well, it makes me awestruck! I think it's so cool, and what would that be like, etc...
However, when I see large families barely making it financially and yet they still continue to have babies, well, that just makes me sad. I totally believe that each child is a blessing, but it's more of a burden if one can't afford another mouth to feed.
I have two. They are 8 years apart. I HATE the comments on the age gap~~NO it wasn't a surprise, we NEVER consider the 'bonus baby' theory. I always tell people that I had CANCER and that interrupted some precious child-bearing years. As soon as I could, I had my second baby. Life became too short to not have another little one...
*I've got stars in my eyes and exactly $1 in my pocket!* |
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Parenting & Farm Kids: Is it my imagination or |
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Is it my imagination or
