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Across the Fence:  Knowing someone  |
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jpbluesky
True Blue Farmgirl
6066 Posts
Jeannie
Florida
USA
6066 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 17 2008 : 7:24:32 PM
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Well.....today I went to get some free canning jars from a woman I know from church. She is kind of cantantankerous. I went to get the jars and she began to tell me about herself.
She is the oldest of 5 children born in the span of 8 years. She is 73. Born in North Georgia, she is a country girl. I would never have imagined. She helped raise all her siblings.
For years, I have looked at this woman as so different. She is married to a doctor, and I thought she was kind of snobby. How bad am I? You know, life teaches a lesson each day if you pay attention.
I now like this woman so much! And I understand after our talk, why she is the way she is.
How often do we misunderstand others?
Farmgirl Sister # 31
www.blueskyjeannie.blogspot.com
Psalm 51: 10-13 |
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Firemama
True Blue Farmgirl
1731 Posts
Amanda
Medical Lake
WA
USA
1731 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2008 : 7:42:54 PM
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I think TOO often we misunderstand each other......
Mama to 2
FarmGirl# 20
People can only make you feel inferior with your permission, and you dont have my permission......
Dont let the chain of love end with you.....
http://myfarmdreams.blogspot.com/
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2008 : 8:36:59 PM
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Wow Jeanie! What a wonderful thing to learn about her. I think we do often misunderstand or misjudge people. Some people find it hard to express themselves, or don't realize how things are sounding to others. It was so nice of her to share her canning jars! And for you to make a new friend too!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
Please come visit Nora and me on our blog: www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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Back Home Again
True Blue Farmgirl
584 Posts
Audrey
Albuquerque
New Mexico
USA
584 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2008 : 9:01:17 PM
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It is sad that we sometimes jump to conclusions about people. I have learned that it is Not really fair to "judge a book by it's cover,".....As Humans, we all to often judge someone because they look or act differently from ourselves. I know I am guilty of doing this at times...... Thanks Jeannie for the reminder to look beyond the surface and enjoy getting to know someone's "heart" rather than where they live or how much money they have or don't have. My experiences have taught me that someone can live in a shack and be a very cruel person and someone can live in a mansion and be one of the kindest and most genuine people in their souls. It is so important that we not generalize about people because as a result, we loose out on having the opportunity for many wonderful relationships.
Until Later,
New Mexico Audrey
~ Side by side or miles apart....dear friends are always close to the heart ~ |
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2008 : 9:44:52 PM
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I agree...I have learned the same way to try to not judge people until I get to know them. You just never know their situation or why they seem the way they seem.
When we first moved here I had people say...oh goodness..you lived next to Caroline! (not her real name) That must be so hard. She is the crankiest old lady I know! But you know what..I am not someone who has to be best friends with everyone I meet right away. Caroline isn't naturally friendly. She is a hardworking, humble old gal, who is a wealth of gardening knowledge and is friendly on her own terms. She isn't chatty, she is sort of cantankerous, but she is kind and big hearted. She brings over extras from her garden that she knows I don't grow and leaves them on my kitchen porch, venison when her son gets a deer and never fails to bring over Christmas cookies, soup if she knows someone is sick and flowers from her beautiful big flower border every summer. When my dad died we took off on a quick one week trip to CAlif and she met us when we got home with a big pan of cinnamon rolls saying how sorry she was that she couldn't think of more to do. She DOES have her opinions..and wasn't thrilled when we brought Mona home, but when we proved that she wasn't going to be a menace to the area and that we cared for her well she calmed down.
I have gradually learned more about her life and she is amazing. She has lived through so much and had a very hard life, and yet..she is a wonderful neighbor. I am glad I didn't judge her from what others said. That being said, I have been guilty of judging others. I have learned alot from having "Caroline" as a neighbor. Great subject Jeannie...something we should all be working on!
Jenny in Utah
Proud Farmgirl sister #24
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
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5 acre Farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1007 Posts
~~~*Terri*~~~
WA.
USA
1007 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2008 : 05:25:31 AM
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I love all of your thoughts, just what I was thinking....
We are soooo human, do we need to get more self control of ourselves, NOT to jump to conclusions?, or what?
Farmgirl Sister #368
http://froccsfrillsfurbiloesandmore.blogspot.com
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2008 : 06:05:59 AM
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I think in today's society, it comes with the 30 second impression, mostly visual, without ever speaking or talking to someone. I have learned the prettiest impressions often are the worse people inside, only doing to impress. I am lucky, I make acquaintenances anywhere I go and I can usually talk to anyone about anything. Just show respect, smile and seem interested. I am learning in a small town to be careful not to judge so quick, especially based on what others say. I can set my own boundaries with people and if I want to be best friends with the town grump, so be it.
Little story of lesson learned: When I was 18, I attended a party at a very fancy house (we are talking at mid size mansion) of someone my Mom called the "snooty set". I was friends with one of the daughters through hair dressing school. It was a lovely party and the people were so nice. I talked with everyone of all ages and backgrounds and never once did they make me feel poor or that I shouldn't be there. 3 days later, I get a call from my friend saying that Mr. So and So wants to hire me as an administrative assistant. Seems he was doing interviewing and couldn't find anyone and apparantley I impressed him so much, he wanted me to come in and interview. I ended up working there for 2 years before I joined the Navy. IF you were to see this man, he drove a Mercedes, wore very nice clothing and talked with quite an heir to him. I was kind of afraid of him but once I talked to him, we found out we both loved the beach and water (he owned his own boat and yes, I have been on it with a family cruise). You never know in life.
Another good story: There was a older lady (old was 50 to me back then but I was 16, so please excuse my faux paus), who lived up the road from us in the worse house on the road, She did basics around to keep it livable, such as mowing the grass, keeping things neat but it was not considered a pretty house. She worked a lot and was always going out (yes, my father use to count how many times she drove by the house.) She would wave but wasn't overly friendly. I figured she just didn't have the time. Several years later, I went back to CT after I had been in the Navy. She no longer lived there but someone showed me an article about her in the paper. She had retired at 55, a multi millionaire and was travelling the world, going to different orphanges to help as she travelled. She had married young, had 2 kids, but it ended in divorce and her losing custody of the kids. She was never home because she drove 45 minutes each day to see them at their father's house. She worked hard so she could help others. People thought she was crazy but when the truth comes out, you see the true good light.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
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kpaints
True Blue Farmgirl
1564 Posts
karen
cheney
wa
1564 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2008 : 09:02:16 AM
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Thank you Heather for those wonderful stories. You never know, do you, where people are really coming from? Unless you ask. It's time to get to know our neighbors. A gal down the street started a block watch type program several years ago and invited the neighbors to join in on meetings with the sheriff's dept. and then she started adding a potluck once a year. I am a single older woman and felt I had nothing in common with this mostly younger setand their business. I always got notice of these get togethers but never went. This last winter this family's home flooded while they were gone and after much consternation she called to ask for help. (I was a painting contractor.) She was on a deadline as carpet was coming so I went down and helped for a few hours. So when she started up a small group for self improvement she called and I joined. It was a real blessing, I got new friends and gently opened myself up to a new world. Needless to say she invited me once again to the yearly potluck and this time I went and what wonderful people did I meet! So I imagine my neighbors, who did not know me thought many differing thoughts about 'her'. I worked long and hard everyday as a painter, worked on renmodeling my house and yard and stayed out of trouble. I use to call myself a hemitress. And when it came to meeting new people, I was. So it never hurts to be persistant and caring, even when you think you are getting nowhere.
Find your joy and live it. http://cheneybaglady.blogspot.com/ |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2008 : 09:44:34 AM
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I never realized how important it is as a parent to be careful what you do and say because yes, your children are paying attention. Looking back, I realized my parents only associated with a certain set of people, though as a child, I didn't realize the reasons behind them. As I got older and made friends and my parents disapproved, I was TOLD it was just me being rebellious but in actually it was my PARENTS point of view that was holding THEM back and making THEM judge. Thankfully and I think somehow subconsciously, I knew to give people the benefit of the doubt. If you spend a few times talking to someone and being around them, you can pretty much judge for yourself whether ou want to pursue things farther and keep them just as an acquaintance.
Another "You never know" happened to me at the hospital I am interning at. I was eating my lunch and a lady came over to sit with me. She is the boss of the manager I am working with. We started chatting and she left her business card with me. Told me when I was ready for a job, give her a call. Now, the manager I work for is very,,how can I say...not on good terms with this manager and apparantely gave me the down low on everyone that works for her...mostly gossip and hearsay. When her boss walked up to me, I had this idea of a mean, evil woman but she couldn't have been more charming. Maybe it is a first time meeting thing, but again, can't judge on hearsay or looks or ideas alone.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
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ddmashayekhi
True Blue Farmgirl
4743 Posts
Dawn
Naperville
Illinois
USA
4743 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2008 : 6:55:06 PM
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Just more proof that the old saying "Never judge a book by its cover" is true! It's good to stop and take a second look before judging a person.
Dawn in IL |
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wild daisy
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Madelynne
Billings
Montana
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - Oct 24 2008 : 11:36:11 AM
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I agree Donna. I have a 92 year old neighbor that at first I wasn't to sure about but now after taking with her over the fence a few times I like her. You never know unless you try.
Madelynne |
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Across the Fence: Knowing someone |
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Knowing someone
