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Family Matters:  My 'family'...yet another vent, not a rant...  |
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goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl
1599 Posts
Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 09 2008 : 06:26:57 AM
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I don't know what to think of them and now it's come down to just let them go. I'm not even mad anymore...more like they are someone who isn't quite real and just 'out there'.
I heard from my uncle last nite that they had a family reunion in August and no one told me. I asked why they didn't. He hemmed and hawed and I just KNEW I wasn't welcome. I've never figgered out why either. He told me he went by mother's grave and I am actaully really offended by this. If he/they are going to treat me so badly, I don't want them near her grave. I'm wondering if there is way I can tell the cemetary to bar them from her gravesite. I'm a legal closer relative than they are.
I did get upset at him and told him that I was a part of this family, like it or not. He didn't say much. Kind of like a pat on the head and hope I'll shut up pretty quick. But my upset-edness with him wasn't really that deep...it's like I don't really care anymore and once I get the rest of my oil well money, I think I'm thru with them.
My hubby was listening and after the phone call was over, he said that he loved me and I still had him, no matter what. That made me feel pretty good but with a slight emptiness but this morning, that feeling has passed.
Honestly, my family is about one of the coldest that I've ever met. My inlaws aren't my favorite but I prefer the way they are to how my family is. Does that make sense?
Just thinking of all the stuff they did and didn't do for me is somehow overwhelming and then in the same breath, kind of calming cuz I know what I've suspected all along is true. They are just jerks with a lot of money.
I'll just have to ponder on this for a while but deep in my heart, I think it's really over. My friends are my family now.
Winona
When you lose, don't lose the lesson!!
http://goneriding.wordpress.com/
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Oct 09 2008 : 06:47:57 AM
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Wow Winona...you and I have very VERY similiar family situations. I, too, wasn't told about a family reunion this past summer and the fact the my favorite Great Aunt had died...found out both through emails from other family members/friends. Seriously, we can not make these things up and it is hard to explain to people who do not understand or cannot grasp the relationship I have (or don't have) with my family. It's like I know they exist but I am so far unattached from them, it is really like they are just people out in the world...weird but true. People have tried to get me to forgive them, which in fact I have but I am not actively pursuing a relationship with them. Again, hard to explain. I can no longer carry their burdens and guilt, so I am moving on with my family and friends.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Oct 09 2008 : 09:29:52 AM
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This is so sad to hear of your families treating ya'll this way. I guess I don't know how you feel. My family is all over the U.S. but we do try to stay in touch somehow. I'm so sorry. I do hope ya'll can work things out, though.
Kris |
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junkjunkie
True Blue Farmgirl
1306 Posts
Judy
Lawrenceville
NJ
USA
1306 Posts |
Posted - Oct 09 2008 : 5:44:05 PM
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I can really feel your sadness....and it's a deep sadness I'm sure. I know how you feel in a way. I'm the outcast in my family and don't bother with them either. But, with me, with the sad empty feeling, there's a sort of a closure to the situation and you can move on from there. You have your husband and friends there for you...take comfort in that.
"To have life in focus, we must have death in our field of vision." Benedictine monk John Main |
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goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl
1599 Posts
Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts |
Posted - Oct 10 2008 : 08:01:30 AM
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Junkjunkie, you're right. There is a sense of closure and now I don't have to worry about them.
It hit me yesterday that maybe my adoptive mom had sized them up and that's why she kept me from them all those years ago. I feel bad for thinking bad of my adoptive mom but now I 'see' that she was doing her job in protecting me. Does that make sense?
At any rate, I don't feel upset or anything right now. I'm not sure if I've put up a wall or it's a really I don't care anymore. But I'm not hurting now. Just a fact of life.
I'll never do this to my kids...
Winona ;-)
When you lose, don't lose the lesson!!
http://goneriding.wordpress.com/
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Family Matters: My 'family'...yet another vent, not a rant... |
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My 'family'...yet another vent, not a rant...
