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Family Matters:  Clutter disorder  |
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lilyblossom
True Blue Farmgirl
416 Posts
Donna
Evansville
IN
USA
416 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 27 2008 : 5:36:20 PM
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I'm not exactly sure which section to post this topic under...so I'll try here.
In my mind I see a lovely tidy house...but in reality I see clutter everywhere I look in my home. I have started trying to purge things that are no longer needed, magazines that are outdated, etc. but here is the problem. Hubby is a packrat!! If I start to take a bag of items to Goodwill and he sees it, he has to go through the contents to make sure I'm not giving away any of "his stuff".
Last night I was shredding some old mail and he started going through it to make sure I wasn't shredding any of "his" mail.
Any advice for getting your man to give up some of his "treasures" that are taking up space and harming my sanity? He just doesn't seem to mind having all of this stuff around. I on the hand feel like I'm being strangled by his stuffitis.
Donna....true blue KY farmgirl, farmgirl #86 |
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melanie47601
True Blue Farmgirl
1949 Posts
Melanie
Boonville
IN
USA
1949 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2008 : 6:01:19 PM
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I know another lady that has this problem. Her trick is waiting till dear hubby is gone and is gonna be gone for awhile and then start carting stuff off. I guess that's a bit sneaky.
Have you tried talking to hubby about his clutter bug virus? Maybe if he realizes how much it bothers you he will give some of his clutter up. I wouldn't expect miracles to happen overnight. My aunt and uncle are extreme clutter bugs. Just recently they have started to part with some of their junk....errr emmm "treasures" but only a little a time. So if he only gets rid of small Wal-Mart sack full ar first, well it's something.
Melanie
~blog~ http://wheelsarealwaysturning.blogspot.com/ ~shop~ http://www.brokenin.ecrater.com/ |
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LindaEllen
True Blue Farmgirl
275 Posts
Linda
Missouri
USA
275 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2008 : 6:41:41 PM
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I'm decluttering my home too, its more me then hubby. But clutters clutter no matter who does it. I'm finding that if I don't have a place for a certain item that will be used for some purpose then out it will go.
Maybe you can make a room for your husband to have all his own, organize it where everything is neat and tidy (give it two weeks to stay that way). Then let him go through all his things and he can put them up where he wants them.
The thing is stuff that I have kept for many years I'm getting out and using them now. So its more about organizing , can make a cluttered room into a brand new one just by placeing in the right spot.
Work together on this project and be gentle, we like our junk/ treasures, lol.
Best to ya, linda
Locust Trail Homestead
http://www.homesteadblogger.com/walkabout/
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emsmommy5
True Blue Farmgirl
1547 Posts
Angie
Buckley
WA
USA
1547 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2008 : 7:14:19 PM
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Around here... if the direct approach isn't working... I resort to the sneaky way method. I don't give away tools... but old magazines, paperwork, etc. No problem tossing that stuff!!
Farmgirl #208
What are you doing with your dash? |
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nubidane
True Blue Farmgirl
2891 Posts
Lisa
Georgetown
OH
2891 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2008 : 7:34:41 PM
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| Fly Lady says..."if you don't love it or need it...FLING IT!!" |
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miss wilma
True Blue Farmgirl
3410 Posts
Wilma
Knob Lick
Ky
USA
3410 Posts |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2008 : 9:39:43 PM
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Donna:
Your husband must be like my husband. For the last three years we have tried to declutter the house and his work shop. Well, he was the only one allowed to declutter the work shop. Guess what, it never got decluttered! LOL Every day when he lives to go to work, I wait patiently for about an hour, then...to the workshop I go. I get something, it doesn't matter what because it is all trash. I take the one thing I pulled out and wrapped it in green trash bags and in the trashcan it goes. He hasn't asked about any of the goods I've trashed yet. BUT he has noticed how much room he has in his workshop. Go figure!!!!!!
Marly |
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levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl
9382 Posts
Denise
Beavercreek
Ohio
USA
9382 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 05:14:27 AM
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Donna,
I am the packrat in my house. I just cannot seem to let things go. I do have a box to take and I try not to look throug it once stuff is in there. I know in our family it is passed down from generations. My grandmother was a major packrat and when she passed away my mother went through the stuff. She and dad kept what they wanted and sold alot of the rest. Everything got sent to the thriftshop. My mom is a packrat too but she is slowly weeding her things out. She gives me a lot of it :)
Anyway be gentle with trying to get him to weed it out. We packrats are just sure we are going to use it someday. I have decluttered some and now I am working on organizing. It was mentioned before that everything in its place and I find when I look at it that way if it doesn't have a place out it goes. Makes sense to me and so I am more willing to part with stuff that way. We cannot let our stuff rule over us.
take care,
Denise
Denise
farmgirl sister #43
"Take a lesson from the teakettle, though up to its
neck in hot water...it sings!"
www.torisgram.etsy.com |
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StarMeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
940 Posts
T
MI
940 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 08:39:56 AM
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| Oh man...Denise that is ME in a big way. For me, if I don't see it, then it doesn't exist. I need everything out where I can see it/touch it/go through it. Drives my poor husband nuts! I am REALLY trying hard to break myself of that habit. I know that my mind is clearer when my house is clean/tidy. I think my kids are calmer too...but once you are hip deep in the "clutter" then it is every-so-hard to climb out of that mess. Right now my living room/kitchen/dining is neat as a pin. I'm lovin' it!!! This labor day weekend the boys and I are working on the basement and organizing their tv/game space, their workout space, their woodworking space, and my CRAFT space. My husband is away for work till Tuesday AND when he comes back he needs room to move things from the garage to the basement. THEN we'll be working to get him out of our spare bedroom so my highschooler can have his OWN space. It seems like so far away...but I'm getting shelves/storage/rugs....whatever I need to take care of that, so it's workable/playable/liveable for all of us. All MY boxes will be CLEAR...so at least I can see it that way!!! |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 08:52:21 AM
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Oh my gosh! I know exactly what you are talking about! When we moved- you would not believe the amount of things I donated/sold/got rid of/ threw away! It was amazing and terrifying all at the same time. And guess what? I feel like I need to de-clutter again!!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
Please come visit Nora and me on our new blog:
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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simplyflowers
True Blue Farmgirl
489 Posts
Jamie
Locust Grove
Virginia
USA
489 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 12:16:10 PM
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sneaky sneaky sneaky is how I need to work around my hubby's lovely things...THAT NEED TO GO!!! And go figure, he never misses anything I get rid of. BECAUSE > I never really get rid of anything he actually needs!!! However, I am not totally innocent either! Weekly, I have to GET RID OF MY STUFF [that is...CLUTTER] TOO!!! The garbage man snarles at me sometimes I think; I have so much out on the curb some weeks. ;)
"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." -- Thomas Edison |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 12:42:39 PM
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Yup I just do it while he's gone. My husband is a BAD pack rat. Again I am a good wife, I only get rid of stuff he absolutely don't need. (bill cosby 80's sweaters he has never worn our whole 8 years of marriage! Yet can't bear to get rid of!).
http://www.wolfprncez.blogspot.com |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
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lilyblossom
True Blue Farmgirl
416 Posts
Donna
Evansville
IN
USA
416 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 3:27:28 PM
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It appears that "sneaky" will have to be the way to go around here too. I'm glad to know I'm not the only wife that has to go this route.
Donna...true blue KY farmgirl, farmgirl #86 |
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acairnsmom
True Blue Farmgirl
1319 Posts
audrey
cheyenne
wy
1319 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 3:38:47 PM
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Both me and DH have a clutter problem. The only differency is that it bothers ME. He could care less about having too much stuff. I have been trying to declutter my own stuff for a couple of years now (I know, slow going but then again, that's how I accumulated it). The more I declutter the more he decides that he should get rid of his stuff too. So once in a while we go to where his stuff is stashed and we go through it together (mostly he goes through it since I have no idea what any of it is). I think having somebody to help him keeps him on track.
Toto, we're not in Kansas any more! |
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Suzan
True Blue Farmgirl
659 Posts
suzanne
duncannon
pa
USA
659 Posts |
Posted - Aug 29 2008 : 08:13:11 AM
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| Oh, I am the pack rat here. I just hate to get rid of stuff I might need someday...but I'm trying... |
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scurran
Farmgirl in Training
22 Posts
Sara
St. Louis
Missouri
USA
22 Posts |
Posted - Sep 04 2008 : 9:23:07 PM
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HA! This is great! I am definitely more of a packrat than my husband. But I'm getting better. Something about the cleansing feeling of getting it out of the house! My husband, however, is a t-shirt collector. Nothing of sentimental value but he just seems to accumulate them. About once a year, while he's watching tv or something, I pull out stacks of t-shirts and just hold them up in front of him. There are 2 options: keep or toss. And there's only one that always makes the keep pile! But at the end of it, I have only 1 stack of t-shirts and a bag to go to Goodwill!
I just wish he would do that to me sometimes!!
Sara
**Be the change you want to see in the world** |
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luvnlife
True Blue Farmgirl
82 Posts
Michele
Quincy
WA
USA
82 Posts |
Posted - Sep 14 2008 : 10:04:54 AM
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I'm just starting to understand that cliche' "less is more". Clutter not only clutters up my home but my mind. Everyone in the family functions better when things are organized and clean. Hence, my job it to make their lives work efficiently. I see myself as the oil that keeps their engines running best. But I have a pack rat husband who makes piles everywhere and I tend to be a hoarder myself. I have to be "in the mood" to purge but when I do, I rarely miss something that I've donated or given away. If I find that I do resent not having it, I wait till I'm sure I'll use that item a lot and nothing else that I already own can be used in it's place, only then I'll let myself go buy it. But like I said, this is a VERY rare occurrence. Usually, out of sight out of mind. Sometimes I go through my DH's things and toss stuff that I'm pretty sure he'll never miss. And the things I have in question, I box up and set right in front of his recliner for him to sort through during commercial breaks. And if he doesn't those boxes stay in his way till he does. This plan isn't foolproof but it's pretty affective in clearing away the clutter and keeping us from running in circles trying to find things that are buried somewhere. Best of luck to you!
Family life is the source of the greatest human happiness. This happiness is the simplest and least costly kind, and it cannot be purchased with money~Havighurst
Farmgirl Sister #306 :)
www.trooperchelly.blogspot.com |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Sep 14 2008 : 10:43:43 AM
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lol I wish that would work for my husband Michele, my husband would think I had made him a coffee table! Thanks babe for the box, I can put my drinks on it! lol
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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kmbrown
True Blue Farmgirl
459 Posts
Misty
Waynesboro
Pennsylvania
USA
459 Posts |
Posted - Sep 14 2008 : 2:59:41 PM
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| This is my system as my hubby is a major "saver" as he likes to call himself!! If I think it needs to go, and he thinks he needs it, it goes in a box or tote. That box is either kept in our closet or the laundry room and we keep it for six months...if he hasn't taken it out to use it...it goes. If he needed it at any point in that six months and took it out, he gets to keep it!! I use that system with toys, and even things from my kitchen that I'm not real sure if I use enough to make it worth it! If you don't need it within a six month time...you don't use it enough to keep! |
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Keeper of the Past
True Blue Farmgirl
925 Posts
Sarita
Battle Creek
Michigan
USA
925 Posts |
Posted - Sep 14 2008 : 4:30:43 PM
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I have too much stuff but like neatness...so I take things that I am not using, put in a box, label, then take to the garage. (No valuable items or family heirlooms). If I have not had to open the box in 1 year...I let my daughters go through it and then tape it back up and it is gone to the good will or senate bill 40.
My question is: Where and why do I think I need all of this stuff in the first place...I would be a rich woman if I didn't buy all the dust collecting, space taking, not needed items that I bring home. I still have clutter but it is kept in labeled boxes and baskets on shelves with like items. (yarns and threads kept together, fabric kept together, magazines sorted by catagory...won't part with my Spin Off magazines for anything!
www.coffmanspinningcfarm.blogspot.com
The people who make a difference in your life are NOT the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones who care. |
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Family Matters: Clutter disorder |
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Clutter disorder
