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Across the Fence:  Wealth and bad manners....  |
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KYgurlsrbest
True Blue Farmgirl
4853 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4853 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 20 2008 : 06:38:38 AM
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My husband works at a fine dining establishment, and they have a wealthy frequent customer that, for whatever reason (maybe power trip?) when entertaining friends or colleagues, after racking up a $300 or more bill for dinner will say, "I don't need to see a check tonight" and doesn't pay. Nor does he tip. Usually these parties are large, and the service and attention that each server provides to this gentleman is first rate.
Apparently, the last time this person was in for brunch, they had to present him with his checks from February through June (one each month) that he just "didn't need to see" and that the server didn't get her gratuity for for all those months. So, before leaving, he had to pay up a considerable amount of cash, not to mention the embarrassing situation of having to actually be ASKED in front of others to pay your debts. And, also awkward for the server who had to ask him for her money....
Last night, it happened to my husband. And he didn't take it so well. Especially when, after stating, "I don't need to see any check tonight..." they went to an establishment next door and finished off the night with nightcaps and dessert.
We were thinking how nice it would be to say to, maybe the electric company, "I don't need to see a bill this month!" or to anyone else where we have a debt.
Gosh, the "inconvenience" of being expected to be normal!
Farmgirl Sister #80, thanks to a very special farmgirl from the Bluegrass..."She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian.
http://www.buyhandmade.org/ |
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Mumof3
True Blue Farmgirl
3890 Posts
Karin
Ellenwood
GA
USA
3890 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2008 : 06:49:51 AM
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Your poor hubby- that just stinks. What's wrong with the management that they let this man get away with that? It appears that they are a bit intimidated by this man and enable him to continue his horrible behavior. Maybe the next time he calls for a reservation, they should suggest that they "don't really need to see a moocher tonight." and let him go elsewhere. That's no way to run a business.
Karin
Farmgirl Sister
# 18 :)
Wherever you go, there you are.
www.madrekarin.blogspot.com
www.madrekarin.etsy.com |
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KYgurlsrbest
True Blue Farmgirl
4853 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4853 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2008 : 06:55:36 AM
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I thought about that, too, Karin. If I were the owner, and this was a frequent happening, I would go on a pay my employee the gratuity owed (because as Employer, one of your jobs is to take care of your employees), and then backcharge the customer when I get money, but see then...we're gals, and we THINK. I don't even know what would prompt someone to even start something like that--noone else who eats there does it.
Farmgirl Sister #80, thanks to a very special farmgirl from the Bluegrass..."She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian.
http://www.buyhandmade.org/ |
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lilyblossom
True Blue Farmgirl
416 Posts
Donna
Evansville
IN
USA
416 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2008 : 06:58:05 AM
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Jonni is the owner afraid of this customer? With the economy the way it is and people/businesses trying to save money I'm really surprised that the owner has allowed this customer back into his/her establishment.
Donna....true blue KY farmgirl, farmgirl #86 |
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electricdunce
True Blue Farmgirl
2544 Posts
Karin
Belmont
ME
USA
2544 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2008 : 07:02:41 AM
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OOh visions of baseball bats come to mind. Some people are just so revolting. I would think the restaurant should post his picture at the door with a sign that says Don't serve this scumbag, he never pays his bill, I would call the police. I mean i see little signs at stores around here when someone who is dirt poor gives somebody a bum $ 20.00check and they are outed in public and little signs are on every cash register in the store. these people are marked for minor financial problems. And I'm not excusing them, we all have to be responsible for our actions, but these are not people who act like complete oafs in public..
Don't you have a local newspaper that you can call a reporter at? Tell them you'd like to do a guest Miss Manners column...I get so mad when I hear things like this....Tell them you'd like to give a nice little Ms Farmgirl Manners lesson....
Sorry to rant, I see a lot of really rude behavior in restaurants here and I am always appalled. I guess that I am now officially an "old fart".
Karin
Farmgirl Sister #153
"Give me shelter from the storm" - Bob Dylan
http://moodranch.blogspot.com
http://domesticnonsense.etsy.com |
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KYgurlsrbest
True Blue Farmgirl
4853 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4853 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2008 : 07:11:02 AM
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I'm just really not sure...I feel like it's one of those situations where like you let it happen once, don't discourage it and then it continues, it becomes awkward to say, "um, hey..." ..but to me, business is business, and if ALL of those customers did it, you wouldn't have any income. I mean, if I don't have the money to go out, I don't--but I feel like this is just a power trip--he's got the money, but he doesn't part with it.
The owner tried to make a little light of it by saying, "well, in the past he always pays more gratuity than the 20%..." but that doesn't really matter to someone who has bills to pay.
I thought about an etiquette column, Karin--for a variety of reasons around here. But this, would be a good one to submit. I wonder if he gets away with it anywhere else?
Farmgirl Sister #80, thanks to a very special farmgirl from the Bluegrass..."She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian.
http://www.buyhandmade.org/ |
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tribalcime
True Blue Farmgirl
2963 Posts
lisa
lexington
ky
USA
2963 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2008 : 07:35:35 AM
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I have worked for wealthy families for over 11 years in health care --let me say that 99% of them are real jerks and believe cause they have money and you WORK for a living that you are dirt to step on.
LIfe is a witch ~~~ and then ya fly !! My blogspot .http://tribalwitch.blogspot.com/ |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2008 : 07:56:54 AM
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Money can't buy you class. I grew up in a VERY wealthy area of CT but we were considered dirt poor but my parents always sucked up to people with certain status, money, contacts. etc. I really learned quickly that they are no better if not sometimes worse than everyone else. I had a good friend who's family was very wealthy and she had everything handed to her and revolted against them. She joined the military right when I did, got an assignment as far from CT she could get and never took a hand out from her family. I had actually seen them send her a check for $500 and she shredded it or returned it to the sender without opening it. She now works as a nurse and loves the challene, people and she lives in Iowa now. She basically has been disowned by her family. The last time she went home, they went out to a fancy place and her family was so obnoxious to the waitstaff that she got up and left. I can understand restaraunt owners worrying about money, but their employees should come first.
I have been around people who had lots of money and lost it all and then they realized how poopy they treated people. I have also been treated horribly by the food places in CT because I DIDN'T have money or seem to. I remember I went to a really nice fish place, had to have a reservation 2 months out, the food was awesome but I was very aware that they didn't want me there. When I left, the hostess asked me how it was. I told her the food was fantastic but the ambience sucked. I told her people treated my like I was dirt and the stares from the other diners were not appreciated. She tried to be nice but I knew she was thinking the same thing. Oh well!! What goes around comes around...
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
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grace gerber
True Blue Farmgirl
2804 Posts
grace
larkspur
colorado
USA
2804 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2008 : 08:30:37 AM
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I am so sorry to hear what your husband has had to go thru - folks are really loosing their minds out there. I have had folks whistle or snap their fingers at me like I was a trained dog or kept me waiting to help them while gabbing on their cell phone about nothing I wish to hear. Those where the days when I had to put up with them because I was helping out a sick friend in her shop. What is great about my farm shop is I get to ask you to leave if you can not behave and if you really piss me off I have three Great Pry's and a big Llama who will help you to your car. I never and I mean never let business get in the way of treating me like a human. Please tell your husband that this old gal would gladly lend him my dogs and or llama. Give him a hug from the Funny Farm and just know life will bite that rude man when he least expects it.
Grace Gerber
Larkspur Funny Farm and Fiber Art Studio
Where the spirits are high and the fiber is deep
http://www.larkspurfunnyfarm.etsy.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.blogspot.com
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KYgurlsrbest
True Blue Farmgirl
4853 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4853 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2008 : 08:36:07 AM
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Thanks, girls--Grace you sure made me laugh! I, too, have worked retail and been "snapped" at with the clicking fingers or the brief, dismissive "go away" wave when they make their connection on the cell. Living in a city definitely has a downside, and lately I've notice an overabundance of bad manners around here. I guess my husband's experience is just par for the course, but I can't imagine ever racking up a bill and then dismissing it as if it was nothing more than an inconvenience...silly, silly people!!!
Farmgirl Sister #80, thanks to a very special farmgirl from the Bluegrass..."She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian.
http://www.buyhandmade.org/ |
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miss wilma
True Blue Farmgirl
3410 Posts
Wilma
Knob Lick
Ky
USA
3410 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2008 : 11:26:41 AM
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Jonnie, I am so sorry Jus has to be in a situation like this,Many years ago I was a waitress for 75cents an hour, Fortunatly my boss was very good to me but we had one old Dr that we were supposed to cater to well He never left me or any of the others a tip, Every time he came in I kept hoping someone would dump a tray on him. There is nothing wrong with being wealthy, but I feel like the people that was so compassionate with Gabby AND Dooly was the richest people in the world, they had more than money could buy they had a heart.Perhaps it was the customers way of being seen, You know it takes a lot of attention for some people maybe he gets a power surge but you know he has to know that no one really respects him .Respect and integrity is something you earn, it cant be bought and sometimes it seems like that type man has lots of friends but are they friends or just after his money.My dad alway said now if that person could be bought for what hes worth and sold for what he thinks hes worth it would be a lot of money
Farm Girl #96
http://www.picturetrail.com/misswilmasplace
http://misswilma.blogspot.com/ |
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KYgurlsrbest
True Blue Farmgirl
4853 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4853 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2008 : 11:34:43 AM
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Your poppa is a wise man, Miss Wilma--the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, either :) Justin's boss is great, but he's also young, and maybe just doesn't see this as an issue quite yet. When he was last in, that's when they rounded up all of his checks and presented them to him (in front of his spouse, and his future sil and his mother), but apparently it wasn't embarrassing enough. It almost makes me feel like it IS power, because he won't budge until someone says, "you owe me _____"
One more reason I could never be server :)
Farmgirl Sister #80, thanks to a very special farmgirl from the Bluegrass..."She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian.
http://www.buyhandmade.org/ |
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miss wilma
True Blue Farmgirl
3410 Posts
Wilma
Knob Lick
Ky
USA
3410 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2008 : 11:50:45 AM
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Jonnie when I was in high school we had one teacher, that was an old maid , her nose looked like a long hook and every corner you turned there was that old beak nose looking down at us, well I was a lot wealthier than her because I had lots of cute boy friends and she couldnt hook the first man, That was many yeasr ago to but I hope she finally found some one
Farm Girl #96
http://www.picturetrail.com/misswilmasplace
http://misswilma.blogspot.com/ |
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Farmtopia
True Blue Farmgirl
1465 Posts
Zan
New York
New York
USA
1465 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2008 : 5:03:30 PM
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Hey there Miss Jonni  Wow, this one's a doozy, I agree with everyone here..I CANNOT believe that he actually hasn't been arrested. In NYC, if you don't pay up...guess what? THey can and will call the police and you get yourself a one way ticket to jail.
I think it's too bad that the restaurant owner isn't being proactive--his staff including Jus definitely deserve to be paid for their work.
We have instances of this sort of "snobbery" all of the time here. I always find it interesting when the rich become the biggest tight-wads with paying money. I remember this happened once at my old job that a client didnt want to pay a bill and I made such a scene that I embarrassed her into paying!
~*~Dream all you dreamers~*~
View my work:
www.bigtownfarmer.com
www.pumpkinpatchparlor.etsy.com
And Blogs:
agriculture: www.bigtownfarmer.blogspot.com
art: www.queenofcrows.blogspot.com
animals: www.big-luv.blogspot.com |
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CountryBorn
True Blue Farmgirl
1545 Posts
Mary Jane
New York
USA
1545 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2008 : 5:14:19 PM
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Wow!! I can't believe that the place your husband works lets that man get away with that!! He must be a very insecure person that he has to constantly show off and try and make himself look important. The funny thing is the people that truly are important and worthy of respect and admiration never would behave this way. The people like him are just ignorant wannabes!
I am sorry to hear that your husband or any of the others were treated this way. Manners do seem to be getting more and more scare don't they?
Mary Jane
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
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dkelewae
True Blue Farmgirl
1310 Posts
Diana
Saint Peters
MO
USA
1310 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2008 : 5:33:21 PM
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You know, the ones who are the snobbiest are usually the ones who aren't as wealthy as they make themselves out to appear at times. But that's NO excuse for the behaviour of this person. Not only should they be made to pay each time they dine, there should be an automatic gratuity added onto the bill, or at the very least have the gratuity added to the bill if they still want to allow them to run a tab, and the gratuity given to the wait staff immediately. The restaurant owner can get reimbursement for the gratuitity when the snob pays up on their tab.
Diana
St. Peters MO
Country Girl trapped in the city! |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2008 : 5:36:02 PM
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To turn this sour day around,a few years a go, a local young woman, who worked as a home health aide, worked with some very wealthy families who basically expected her to do anything and everything they said, no matter how disgusting or demeaning. She did her job because she loved being a nurse. A few years ago, a patient of hers passed away. This was a very nice, humble man who was sweet and kind to her.He lived in an area called "the shacks by the sea"- little basic houses without much to them. He was frugal but love people and life. He left her $500,000, the house and all his stuff, since he had no children. In her interview with the paper, she never even knew he had a dime and always treated her with respect. She dedicated a library shelf at the local hospital in his name, using all the books she found in his home and the money to start an education fund for travelling nurses education. She still lives in his house with her little family now and offers one bedroom up to a local college nursing student who can't afford housing. What goes around come around!!!!
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
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homemakerkate
True Blue Farmgirl
143 Posts
Kate
Ewen
Michigan
USA
143 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2008 : 6:12:35 PM
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| Thank you Heather, it is warming to the heart to know that there are some who do give back and care. |
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KYgurlsrbest
True Blue Farmgirl
4853 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4853 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2008 : 6:26:16 PM
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Here here! There are good folks out there, for sure.
I have seen people flat out deny to pay because of bad food or poor service, or try to SAY they've had bad food or service, but never just because they're too important to pay for their large bill. I think the employees should just collectively state that they won't serve him, and then the employer can deal with him. I also feel that if the owner gave him his bill at the end of the meal, that he would be less likely to brush it off...
With food costs rising, I'm thinking that if he's been doing this since January (every month) at $300 a pop, everyone else who eats at this establishment is paying for his arrearages. I appreciate everyone's input--it's made me feel so much better about encouraging him to speak up. That 20% was my water payment this week!
Farmgirl Sister #80, thanks to a very special farmgirl from the Bluegrass..."She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian.
http://www.buyhandmade.org/ |
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therusticcottage
True Blue Farmgirl
4439 Posts
Kay
Vancouver
WA
USA
4439 Posts |
Posted - Jul 21 2008 : 12:02:00 AM
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The way I see it is that if this guy doesn't pay for 6 months at a time then it would be no big loss if he never came back. Too bad the owner doesn't let him know that he has to pay every time he eats! I'm sorry that your husband had to deal with this jerk.
In my dealing with people of large financial means, I would have to say that 90% of them are tighter than the bark on a tree. They are wealthy because they don't spend their own money and like to use other people's money for as long as they can. If that's what it takes to be wealthy then I'll just stay right where I am!
Handmade Soap and More! - http://therusticcottage.etsy.com
The Rustic Cottage Blog http://therusticcottage.blogspot.com
PROUD FARMGIRL SISTER #100 |
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KYgurlsrbest
True Blue Farmgirl
4853 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4853 Posts |
Posted - Jul 21 2008 : 06:03:49 AM
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Kay, I have heard that too, only it was "so tight they squeak!" but it's the same thing, isn't it. I agree...I'll never have a thing because I don't make much, and I spend it and give it away. No big thing--we're happy, and I suspect you are the same.
I'm thinking that if enough of the servers say, "enough" that he'll have to. In the end, the business is the only one missing out.
Farmgirl Sister #80, thanks to a very special farmgirl from the Bluegrass..."She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian.
http://www.buyhandmade.org/ |
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DeepsouthMamma
True Blue Farmgirl
1454 Posts
Autumn
Southwest Louisiana
USA
1454 Posts |
Posted - Jul 21 2008 : 06:16:02 AM
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HMMM... Maybe the owner could place a courtesy call during the day to put Mr. Big shot's credit card # on file BEFORE he comes back and then he might be interested in the amount.
My husband is a phone tech and the only people that ask for FAVORS are the very rich. They have several vehicles and huge homes and they grummble if he has to charge them for a diagnostic call(85 bucks). Then they ask him to come back after hours(which he NEVER does) wanting him to cheat the company and risk losing his job!!!After all if he loses his job it wont hurt them,right???
Then he goes to homes that are falling down with little more than walls still standing and the folks are quite hospitable and though they may not like the charges he has to charge,via the rules of his job, they are kind and thank him!!!
Is that why the rich are rich- asking for favors??? I just dont get it.
Blessings,
Autumn
Farmgirl #49
http://simplytoday-autumn.blogspot.com/
Isaiah 40:31
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. |
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miss wilma
True Blue Farmgirl
3410 Posts
Wilma
Knob Lick
Ky
USA
3410 Posts |
Posted - Jul 21 2008 : 06:50:27 AM
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Me to Kay, I have never been very impressed with the big talking spenders. To begin with a really wealthy person along with any knowledge would never tell how much money they have . Most of the big buying big talking spenders actually when it comes down to the nitty gritty most of them dont have a Pot to P-- IN. Some of the wealthiest people I know run around in bib overhauls.
Farm Girl #96
http://www.picturetrail.com/misswilmasplace
http://misswilma.blogspot.com/ |
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Amie C.
True Blue Farmgirl
2099 Posts
Finger Lakes Region
NY
2099 Posts |
Posted - Jul 21 2008 : 12:18:22 PM
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| What a strange man. I can easily imagine a customer having a relationship of some sort with the restaurant owner, and the owner not having any problem with seeing his staff cheated out of their tips to service his "buddy". But I've never heard of anyone casually declining to pay for a meal just because he doesn't feel like it. I used to work in customer service in a very wealthy area, and I noticed a certain entitled attitude at times but nobody ever expected merchandise for free. What a weird situation. I'm suprised the owner let it go on so long. |
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KYgurlsrbest
True Blue Farmgirl
4853 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4853 Posts |
Posted - Jul 21 2008 : 12:24:12 PM
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It is really strange...and I've worked in retail where companies and small business owners have accounts that they pay monthly, but this person doesn't have an account. I asked that first...he just feels like he's exempt or something, and the owner feels awkward approaching him about it. But, I feel that, he's taking advantage of the establishment, and in this economy? Money needs to come in--at the time of service.
Farmgirl Sister #80, thanks to a very special farmgirl from the Bluegrass..."She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian.
http://www.buyhandmade.org/ |
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Across the Fence: Wealth and bad manners.... |
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Wealth and bad manners....
