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Across the Fence:  Riding along in my automobile.......lalala  |
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 16 2008 : 7:49:25 PM
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I just had to share my lovely day today. I woke up kind of early this morning.I thought it was later, but it was dark outside..threatening rain, I supposed. So, being bored and ready for something different to occupy mind brains, I opted to mow.
Now, I don't know about you ladies, but I hate riding mowers. I feel like a trucker when I'm driving one of those. I opt for the more dainty push mower. ;) I started with the push mower. Around the edges I started. Vrooom....putt putt putt..CRACK!!..hmm..Did you know that if you run over a branch, you will have to restart your push mower? Mower restarted.
I walked the mower around and around and around...in all reality I only made two rounds, but it felt like much more than that. The grass was slick and it resembled something close to a slip n slide.
By about round two, my mower ran out of gas. There was no way, I was going to even the gas station looking as I did. I hadn't brushed my hair yet, I had most of my pjs on still and threw on some flip flops. I was forced to contend with the 18 wheeler...I mean the riding mower. Hubby so sweetly brought it out of its little house in the backyard and parked it out front so I could just hop on and go.
Did you know that most riding tractors have seats that are weights sensitive? More news to me. In order to get the mower to quit turning itself off..(and I only learned this after the third stall) I had to bear down my bottom slightly to the left while trying to push the gas pedal down on the right. I don't know about some of you, but I have been blessed with very long legs. The stretch wasn't bad, but the fact that I had to do this and try to sit hard was quite interesting. I felt like I was doing a new form of pilates or something. "Pilates with Troy-Bilt".Yes! That is what I will call it.
**Note to self, where thicker soled shoes to get better 'pushability' on the gas pedal.***
So, I'm mowing along,doing donuts in the front. Partly because hubby told me to go in circles and partly because once I got the steering wheel to make a tight circle, it didn't want to unturn and since I didn't want hubby to know I was out there making UFO patterns in the grass, I just kept going until I fought and won. Me- 1 Mower- 0
Oh, I almost forget to tell you the most special part of this mowing venture. It hadn't rained yet, but there was a big morning dew. Can you say "CLUMPY"???? (Again, I remind you, this was early in the morning.
Onto the backyard...I was so proud of myself. I was able to steer the mower throught the back gate of the fence without nicking or permanently scarring the edges of the gate. As I was revelling in my small victory, (Me- 2 Mower-0) I mowed right over a row of heather plants lining the backyard sidewalk. (Me-2 Mower-1) Now I was unnerved. Do not mow anything your not supposed to. I kept saying this to myself. I focused as hard as I could! Mowing oh so carefully. I rode over apparently closer to the dog than he cared, because he jumped in the raised flower bed and that is where he stayed the whole time. Dumb dog!, I thought to myself, as I ran over one of the kids toy balls....grumble grumble. (Me-2 Mower-2)
I finally found a groove.I mowed happily along, thinking to myself...ptth...I don't why hubby think HE HAS to do this job. This is easy breezy...LOUD CRUNCHING, MOWERS STALLS, MOWER BACKFIRES!(Me-2 Mower-3) What in the world?!?! Maybe, I should have picked up the dumb sticks before I mowed, but the grass was too high and I didn't want to walk in it!--Irony is just wrong!!
I went and dislodged the stick and gave the mower a good kick right in the back tire---muwahahaha! I felt better! (Me-3 Mower-2)
I sat back down hard on the seat,and let her rip. Did you know that if you try to go up a hill, you must hit the gas harder? Now, I know. I rode up the hill, got two steps from the top, mower stalled and I rolled all the way to the bottom! (Me-3 Mower-3) Dumb mower! It and the dog are in cahoots!--I just know it!
I finally made it to the top of the hit after 2(Me-3 Mower 4&5) more stalls. Yay! now the fun stuff! I rode in loops until there was a perfect circular pattern covering the entire hill. Enjoying my victory, I made my way down hill, driving sideways so that the top of the hill was on my left and the bottom to my right. Did you know that if you have to bear down hard with your heiny and push the gas pedal hard at the same time,and you are barely heavy enough to make the heiny thing work, that you tire will spin in the wet grass, you will stall, and your mower will back fire? (Me-3 Mower 6..I'm starting to see a downward pattern. I will not be beaten. This mower is the gladiator and I am the victorious contender!)Now, I know. Dumb mower!
I got off and tried to restart it. Nothing. Not even a click. That was it, I had to go get my hubby who was already laughing his head off and tell him my troubles. As he comes out holding my daughter (great a family gathering to share in my frustrations). I take hold of DD and Hubby mounts the devil....oops! I mean the mower. Of course, he doesn't have any heiny/pedal troubles. He threw it in reverse to reveal a clump of wet grass bigger than my head!!) That's the culprit! He turns the mower off and takes DD into the house after pointing out to me that I have just stood there in a red ant hill while watching his heroic save!
That was it!! Dumb mower! Evil ants! Wet grass as big as my head! What nut job invented the riding mower? It is of little consequence. I am not mowing with a vengeance. I am out to mow every ant hill form here to kingdom come. As I itch my legs, kill ants, and sit hard, I wiped out an entire back yard of every red ant hill there was. Ride, baby, Ride!!!!!! ( Who cares the score...the mower had done it but the ants were getting my fury!!!) The dog was still hiding in the flower bed.
As I parked the mower and walked in the house I felt victorious! I had mowed the lawn and fought evil with my troy-bilt. It was a good day.....Then it started to rain.
I don't care. Let it rain, it made my itchy ant bites feel better.
As I got my shower, I went through my checklist for next time:
"NOTES TO SELF":
1.Don't run over branches. It gives the mower points.
2.Wear heavy shoes and heavier britches. Buy an encyclopedia just in case.
3.When dog jumps in flower bed, you have already lost! Go in house, get shower, eat chocolate!
4.Red ants hurt!!
My dear ladies, let the men mow---it's just not worth it...lol
hugs Jess
Farmgirl Sister #235
http://crshelpmeet-heartssong.blogspot.com/
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug. -- Mark Twain |
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kydeere40744
True Blue Farmgirl
1132 Posts
Jessica
Kentucky
USA
1132 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2008 : 8:31:49 PM
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I have to giggle at your story...I remember using our riding lawn mower while on the farm growing up. You learned to get really good at dodging tree limbs hanging from the trees, especially in the orchard.
I know the first time I used our push mower, I had no clue it was self propelled and how to get the "self propellness" started. I pushed and trudge through the whole back yard, pushed a button and woooo wee off I went! I miss mowing the yard on the riding lawn mower, headphones on, letting the worries of the world run by.
Awww...hopefully you won't be too sore come morning!
~Jessica in Kentucky & Farmgirl Sisterhood #137~
Be sure to visit my blog & Crafty Clipart for some of my photographs:
http://bluegrassprincess.blogspot.com/
http://www.craftyclipart.com |
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2008 : 8:52:03 PM
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self propelled sure would have been nice...lol. I didnt have to worry too much about hanging limbs, there was a devious hanging bird house that kept threatening to do me in though. I don't know if I'm brave enough to wear headphones to mow yet. I wanna be able to hear if I run over anything not that the crunching noise isn' loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear.:)
hehee
Farmgirl Sister #235
http://crshelpmeet-heartssong.blogspot.com/
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug. -- Mark Twain |
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kissmekate
True Blue Farmgirl
890 Posts
Kate
Delano
Minnesota
890 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2008 : 9:34:57 PM
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I am crying-this is so funny.
The first time I used our riding mower, I was twelve. My Dad insisted I had to mow the lawn, even though I had an able bodied older brother to do it.
I ended up running into the a tree with it. No, I swear, it wasn't intentional. But, needless to say, I never had to mow until about ten years ago. And I push mow now.
Don't miss out on a blessing, just because it isn't packaged the way you expected. ~MaryJo Copeland |
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Txfarmgal
True Blue Farmgirl
585 Posts
AK
USA
585 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2008 : 9:37:41 PM
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Jessie, LOL You got up early even after I kept you up so late!!??? I am LOL, great story. Oh BTW I have no problem getting seat to stay down. ;) Thanks for keeping me in stitches, i needed it!
AngiKay
www.angikay.etsy.com
Be strong and Courageous. Jos. 1:9
Texas 4H! http://texas4-h.tamu.edu/ |
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melanie47601
True Blue Farmgirl
1949 Posts
Melanie
Boonville
IN
USA
1949 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2008 : 9:37:44 PM
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Oh Jessie! I'm so sorry, but you've got me laughin till I cry!! I only tried a riding lawn mower once. My ex put me on one at his momma's house in the orchard. He said push this, do this blah, blah, blah. I was going. Then he said holler when you're ready to stop or turn and started off down the hill. I didn't much care for my first riding lesson. I learned if you let off both pedals it would stop. So I was off and refused to get back on! Give me a push mower and a fairly cool day and lots of water and I'm just fine!!
Melanie
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart. Helen Keller "http://wheelsarealwaysturning.blogspot.com/ ~shop~ http://www.brokenin.ecrater.com/ |
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ruralfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
4309 Posts
Rene'
Prosser
WA
USA
4309 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2008 : 9:38:59 PM
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I love your writing style Jessie~ you make me feel like I was there.. laughing of course!
Rene~Prosser Farmgirl #185
"Despite the gardener's best intentions, Nature will improvise. ~Michael P. Garafalo
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2008 : 10:52:44 PM
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That is really funny! I remember riding on the lawn mower with my dad when I was little. I always thought it was a treat. Now I'll have to make sure any such mower that we get in the future knows who the boss is!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
Please come visit Nora and me on our new blog:
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com |
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Miss Bee Haven
True Blue Farmgirl
4331 Posts
Janice
Louisville/Irvington
Kentucky
USA
4331 Posts |
Posted - Jul 17 2008 : 05:45:23 AM
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Thanks for the out loud laugh this early work day! We bought an old riding mower and I tried to use it to cut my dad's grass.....I relate to your experience(it's not easy to focus on the 'sitting hard' thing and every thing else at the same time.), so I'm back to the push mower now. The good news is that my dh(like most men) loves the rider, so he is cutting the front grass with that and I do the back. I'll take help anywhere, any time I can get it! ;)
Farmgirl Sister #50
"If you think you've got it nailed down, then what's all that around it?"
'Br.Dave Gardner' |
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Mumof3
True Blue Farmgirl
3890 Posts
Karin
Ellenwood
GA
USA
3890 Posts |
Posted - Jul 17 2008 : 05:54:46 AM
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Bahahahahahahaha!! I pictured the whole ordeal- start to finish. Good for you hanging in there (and taking out evil ant colonies to boot!)
Karin
Farmgirl Sister
# 18 :)
Wherever you go, there you are.
www.madrekarin.blogspot.com
www.madrekarin.etsy.com |
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AuntPammy
True Blue Farmgirl
488 Posts
Pamila
williamstown
wv
USA
488 Posts |
Posted - Jul 17 2008 : 06:08:01 AM
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Ha HA HA! So funny. This has made my day. I too am a push mower gal. I tried to mow with a riding mower about five years ago. I mowed fer probably 45 minutes, dodging tree limbs and hangin' on for dear life on the slopes. I wondered why everyone was laughing at me when I pulled up to the garage.....duh, I never engaged the mower blade and had just been out for a "joy" ride. Oooops.......
Let's dance in the rain and play in the puddles under the rainbows. |
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bboopster
True Blue Farmgirl
1140 Posts
Betty Jo
West Bend
Wisconsin
USA
1140 Posts |
Posted - Jul 17 2008 : 06:32:18 AM
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Thank you Jess for share your mowing story. I haven't laughed so hard in a while!!!! OMG! I can picture your ride. I am almost 50 and can easily count on one hand how many times I have mowed the lawn. Each time it was an experience that not only I will never forget but neither will my neighbors and family. I felt your pain with the sitting and try to hit the gas. Mowers are made for men and not us ladies. 
http://www.bboopster.blogspot.com
3 Blue Star Mother and Proud of it!
Pray for our troops to come home safe and soon.
Enjoying the road to the simple life :>) |
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Jami
True Blue Farmgirl
1238 Posts
Jami
Ellensburg
WA
USA
1238 Posts |
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Ga Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
2355 Posts
Karen
Meansville
Ga.
USA
2355 Posts |
Posted - Jul 17 2008 : 07:28:22 AM
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Jess, Oh boy what a great story of your first ride.I guess Im just a redneck farmgirl because Ive been mowing just about my whole life even drive the tractor every now an then. You had me laughing the whole story though, Im with the rest of the girls I felt like I was there but then again if I had been Id have been laughing so hard you might have tried to run me over!!!! Karen
Create in me a pure heart,O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalms 51:10 http://farmgirlingastyle.blogspot.com/ |
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kydeere40744
True Blue Farmgirl
1132 Posts
Jessica
Kentucky
USA
1132 Posts |
Posted - Jul 17 2008 : 08:36:05 AM
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Jessie I thought of you this morning. We went to Sonic just now to get a bite to eat and that song "riding along in my automobile" came on!! HAHA. Of course, I had to tell dear ole hubby about your adventures!
~Jessica in Kentucky & Farmgirl Sisterhood #137~
Be sure to visit my blog & Crafty Clipart for some of my photographs:
http://bluegrassprincess.blogspot.com/
http://www.craftyclipart.com |
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miss wilma
True Blue Farmgirl
3410 Posts
Wilma
Knob Lick
Ky
USA
3410 Posts |
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
Posted - Jul 17 2008 : 5:49:54 PM
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Hi Everyone!
So glad you liked my adventure. I think I will retire that riding one for a while. I don't know if I can take the excitement!..lol
Thank you for all your comments. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
Hugs Jess
Farmgirl Sister #235
http://crshelpmeet-heartssong.blogspot.com/
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug. -- Mark Twain |
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Across the Fence: Riding along in my automobile.......lalala |
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Riding along in my automobile.......lalala
Thanks for starting my morning with a good laugh, Jess.