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Parenting & Farm Kids:  Advice needed for closely-spaced Babies!  |
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CarharttQueen
Farmgirl in Training
23 Posts
Miriam
Soldier's Meadow
Idaho
USA
23 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 06 2008 : 1:29:52 PM
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As a mommy of a 6 month old girl, and pregnant with another baby due in February (the babies will be 14 mo. apart), I could use some advice for conquering this often stressful stage! For those of you who have been through the same situation, here's some questions:
1. How did you deal with morning (or all day) sickness?...And still be able to keep up on housework, cooking, gardening, etc. (and take care of a young baby!)??? Did you hire a mother's helper? How did you motivate yourself to get out of bed in the morning and not just lounge around all day?
2. What did you do for meals--especially if cooking food made you feel sick? (Normally I cook all from scratch.)
3. Were you able to breastfeed through your pregnancy? Jessica is still almost exclusively breastfeeding, and I had hoped to nurse her for at least a year. If she still is breastfeeding when I have baby #2, how does it work to nurse through labor? (Hopefully labor with this baby will be short--with Jessica it was 36+ hrs. with 7 hrs. of pushing! I was too weak to even hold someone's hand, let alone hold a baby to nurse!)
4. Did you find any ways to encourage the close-together children to be best friends, instead of having lots of competitive conflicts?
Any advice, ideas, or stories about your closely-spaced babies would be wonderful! Thanks! |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Jul 06 2008 : 3:12:06 PM
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I only have the one baby, but I have read that you can safely breastfeed through pregnancy as long as you are getting adequate nutrition for all 3. Lots of calcium, vitamins and minerals. If you can, check out the "What to eat when Expecting" book. It has lots of good recipes and ideas on how to maximize nutrition.
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
Please come visit Nora and me on our new blog:
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com |
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mommom
True Blue Farmgirl
854 Posts
Susan
Lancaster
Pennsylvania
USA
854 Posts |
Posted - Jul 06 2008 : 3:15:59 PM
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| I had an 18 months old baby when I gave birth to twin girls and 15 months later had another little boy. I don't think there's any set rules for doing anything. The kids learned very quickly that they had to work with me....if I was in the kitchen, so were they. If I was changing sheets in our bedroom, they were in there with me. My children very rarely fought. Still don't. They also learned that they were each others best friend. Yes, your babies are going to be close in age.....and with your guidance, they'll be close in heart as well! Best of luck to you and your little ones! Susan |
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babysmama
True Blue Farmgirl
931 Posts
Elizabeth
Iowa
931 Posts |
Posted - Jul 10 2008 : 7:02:15 PM
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My first two were 21 months apart so not nearly as close as yours will be but I have a friend who's children were 15 months apart. She breastfed her first throught her pregnancy and the only caution is if you start going into labor too early from the nipple stimulation. This is rarely the case but if it happens you may need to stop nursing. Since your baby will be 14 months old when the new one comes you can nurse during the early stages of labor (this may help speed things up too!) but I would forget about it during the end. Your daughter will be nursing at that point more for comfort or nutrition so I am sure she will be fine for several hours without nursing. I nursed my first while I was pregnant but my daughter weaned herself since I think my milk started to taste funny. If you notice your daughter seeming to be quite hungry all the time or fussy that could mean your milk is drying up and you may need to supplement with formula. Not to scare you, I am just trying to state facts. You can very well tandem nurse with no problems. Good luck!!
-Elizabeth |
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melanie47601
True Blue Farmgirl
1949 Posts
Melanie
Boonville
IN
USA
1949 Posts |
Posted - Jul 10 2008 : 7:56:19 PM
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My first two are about as close in age as your will be. I'm thinking they're are about 15 months apart. Caitie is my big girl and quite a helper, she always has been. Siblings are each others best friends. Sure they will bicker from time to time, but that's kids.
I didn't breastfeed. My first two were in NICU. Caitie was in for 7 days, Matthew for 10. Matthew was 6 days old before I even got to hold him and by the time the doc started him on a bottle he had lost the natural insticnt to suck. It was a fight to teach him what to do, but once he caught on there was no stopping him. Sorry I'm no help on breastfeeding.
As far as housework, do what you can and don't worry about it. So what if the nick-nacks gather an inch of dust. Just as long as you get the main things accomplished. Maybe you can get a friend or family member to come over and help out every once in awhile.
Blessings
Melanie
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart." Helen Keller
http://wheelsarealwaysturning.blogspot.com/
My shop is finally up and running.. http://www.brokenin.ecrater.com/ |
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wannabecountrybumpkin
True Blue Farmgirl
117 Posts
Christy
Bristow
Virginia
USA
117 Posts |
Posted - Jul 11 2008 : 03:50:03 AM
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I have 2 boys and they are 13 1/2 months apart, they are now 4 and 3. When my youngest was born it was a little hectic managing everything but somehow you just fall into a routine. You do what you can and don't worry because it will still be waiting for you there tomorrow :) I'm really happy now that my boys are so close in age, they are already best friends.
Christy
Farmgirl Sister #139
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Brew Crew
True Blue Farmgirl
676 Posts
Molly
Arizona
676 Posts |
Posted - Jul 11 2008 : 11:01:09 AM
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I've got 2 that are 15 months apart, and 2 that are 12 months apart (actually, 3 days shy of 12 months!). That whole first 3-4 months after the baby was born is just kind of a messy blur. Don't set high expectations for what you will be able to accomplish, 'cuz you will just be exhausted and frustrated. Go ahead and order a pizza when you don't feel like cooking, or eat mac & cheese if you have to. Don't take that all too seriously. Most important is that you and your babies are happy and healthy. Forget having a spotless house and scratch dinner on at 6 on the dot. Just won't happen. If it does, you are proabably missing out on all the fun stuff your kids are saying/ doing/ pretending. All that other stuff can wait.
'Cooking and cleaning can wait for tomorrow,
for babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow.
So, quiet down cobwebs, and dust go to sleep;
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.'
I don't want to be motivated to get out of bed. I love lounging with the kids in bed. We just lay there in our jammies, tickling, talking, and playing steamroller trying to wake up daddy. Sometimes for an hour or more.
Toss your schedule out the window and eat with the kids when they're hungry, wash clothes when they're dirty, sweep/ mop when you have to and otherwise ENJOY them while they last. One day they'll be gone and your house will be spotless and meals will be cooked and you will wish you could trade it all to have the messy, noisy, chaotic household back....
The farthest gap in my kids is 23 months, and they all play like best friends. In fact, they can't sleep without each other when someone is missing. They all have their own beds, but prefer to sleep on the floor (!!) on a pile of blankets, snuggled up together.
Congrats on your pregnancy! Good luck continuing to BF as you can. Makes happy, healthy babies!!
The Biz www.tvalahandmade.com
The Blog: http://blog.tvalahandmade.com/
The Bits www.happydalehobby.blogspot.com/
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CarharttQueen
Farmgirl in Training
23 Posts
Miriam
Soldier's Meadow
Idaho
USA
23 Posts |
Posted - Jul 11 2008 : 11:38:14 AM
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Hey, everyone! Thanks for the encouragement and ideas! I have a lot to learn and I really appreciate your advice and thoughts.
So, a slightly different question: Do any of you living way-out from town have the problem of appearing like the completely lazy SAHM? Like some of you recommended, I try to spend as much time caring for/playing with my baby. So it's hard to get housework and other projects accomplished. Especially now being pregnant again, I'm even less productive in that way. And to further the problem, living so far from town, I can't just get a babysitter for an afternoon, or run and do an hour of errands when I have the energy. Instead, I have to spend an entire day in town (drive w/husband to work), get completely exhausted, AND get nothing done at home that day. Do you know what I'm talking about?? So to certain family members, they think I'm completely lazy and a terrible wife and housekeeper. Which really hurts because my dream has always been to be a wife. mom and homemaker. And when I have the energy, time and resources, I do pretty good...and I'm trying to organize certain things so I can do better.
But I really do look bad, compared to other young moms (who live in town, can get a babysitter easily, shop when it's convenient, pick up pizza for dinner, etc.) Any ideas how I can 1. Organize life better to be more "with it"??? and 2. How to respond to family members who look on me as the lazy, worthless SAHM who could never survive on her own???
I know I'm probably mostly blowing of steam here--but I've known of several other moms in the same boat...their hubby/family just chews them out for being so "lazy", instead of understanding, and being the support they need!
Thanks again, and I hope to hear from more of you!
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
Posted - Jul 11 2008 : 2:52:24 PM
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oh honey .. i don't have an advice ... my girls were five YEARS apart! LOVED IT! ... but my two little grand-daughters are 21 months apart .. that will be a little more of a challenge.
HOWEVER, i do have a friend who have THREE that are closely spaced apart (by a few MINUTES each!) TRIPLETS ... she sadly, actually had FOUR babies in there but a specialist highly recommended she reduce one or even two to have a much better chance of not losing them ALL! (she had been trying for 15 years to have a baby .. took fertility drugs .. and VOILA! three babies .. they are four years old now .. and i just got an e-mail from her mom that she is pregnant again!!!! (my friend thought she would never be a grammie! HA!)
oh .. she got a lot of help from friends and church members and her mom went up there to live for almost a year to help with them!
(AND .. in the middle of the night .. when the triplets were only a few months old .. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT ... their bedroom window was busted by a thrown rock. They went to the window and a man riding by was yelling: YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!!!!! (IT BURNT TO THE GROUND!) but thank god, all the babies and pets were saved!
i guess things really can 'be worse'.
i'll be watching everyone's advice so i can pass it on to my daughter!
True Friends * Frannie
adopt a 'rag-chile'
http://sistermercysfoundlinhome.blogspot.com
treasures .. new and olde .. http://mudpiemanormercantile.blogspot.com
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Edited by - CabinCreek-Kentucky on Jul 11 2008 2:54:14 PM |
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Jul 11 2008 : 4:23:42 PM
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My oldest were pretty close together and in some ways, once the youngest is about 6 months old and you have your strength back it will be a little easier..they are close enough in age to be real friends and have the same interests more than kids that are far apart. My 4 kids at home now are vyer close together, but we adopted them all..not as infants. I think it is actually nice to have them be close to the same age..they all want to do mostly the same stuff so it works out..we are a group..the 4 of them and I. My oldest 3 boys are all grown.
As for the other...I know it is so discouraging when people don't realize how hard you are trying and how much work being a Mom can be (and being pregnant to boot) I still get "the look" sometimes from hubby when he comes in from work and we are playing a game on the family room floor or the 5 of us are all sitting in a room reading with soft music playing..but you know what...the kids won't remember the cleaner house..they will remember you being with them doing things WITH them. It matter so much. Hang in there. None of us stay caught up on everything all the time. Not any of us with kids for sure!! We are here for ya!!
Jenny in Utah
Proud Farmgirl sister #24
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
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babysmama
True Blue Farmgirl
931 Posts
Elizabeth
Iowa
931 Posts |
Posted - Jul 11 2008 : 4:52:13 PM
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I can relate to the feeling like a "lazy housewife", even though I'm not. My house is often messy, to the point that I would have to pause at a knock on the door to see if I even want to let someone in to see it! And you know what? I clean every day but the kids are right behind me making mess after mess.
All I can say is try to let it slide off your back (easier said than done) and if you prefer to not invite those relatives or friends over, don't. Many people just do not realize what a huge job it is to take care of a small child and to be low on energy and just not feel good while pregnant. But you know how hard it is so you should feel good knowing that you are trying your best and just let the other, not so important things go for now. I can't even imagine having a six month old and going through another pregnancy! Dn't worry what others think!
-Elizabeth |
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
Posted - Jul 11 2008 : 8:11:37 PM
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Hi Miriam,
My dear I was in your EXACT position a little over a year ago. My daughter was 8 months old when I found out I was 2 months along with my son who was due in February. So much of what you asked reminded me of my pregnancy.
1. With morning sickness, housework..apart from meals can be left for a little while. I found that if I just sat down and rested through the bouts of morning sickness, that it helped tons!Of course, some thing can't be helped like taking care of other little ones,unfortunatly, those were times when I just had to grin and bear it, and -pray hard for strength.
2. When I cooked dinner, I found that if I ate crackers during that time when the smells were all over the place, that it would help me forget about how stinky it was! Sometimes, hubby would even cook on those really hard days.
3. I didn't breastfeed more than 6 months with my first one, so I don't know what you'd do there. Your ob/gyn should be able to tell you about that one. I am wondering though, you uterus contracts when you breastfeed, and you sure don't want it doing that while you're pregnant. I do not think your daughter will be allowed in the delivery room, so I am going to guess that you will not be able to breastfeed her while in labor.
4.You won't need to find ways to encourage your babies to be close. They find their own special bond very quickly. Every set of siblings are going to argue and act out. My daughter and son are thick as theives when they are together. They are either battling it out, or heaven forbid someone else should try to interfere, then they are the first to step in and defend for the other one. It was a little hard for my daughter to accept that the new baby wasn't going anywhere no matter how hard she told him to go, but she came around and liked helping.:) They are like twins:)
A thought too, try not too be too tempted to do a lot of lifting with your first one while you are pregnant. I found that sitting down to her level worked great for both of us. She can be close to me and I could meet her needs by giving her attention in her space. My daughter always thought I was a jungle gym. That's a big no-no!
You're in my prayers and I PROMISE the morning sickness will subside and it will be fun how much you can get your little one involved in waiting for her new little one. We had so much fun going shopping and telling Tori that this outfit was for her new baby, or that she could pick out something for her new babies room. She loved it!
hugs!!!
Jess
Farmgirl Sister #235
http://crshelpmeet-heartssong.blogspot.com/
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug. -- Mark Twain |
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
Posted - Jul 11 2008 : 8:18:29 PM
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Heh! Miriam...you just throw that thought of being a lazy housewife right out the window. Until someone has walked in your pregnant tootsies and lived a day in your maternity clothes, they really have NO CLUE!!! and can't judge properly. I worked a 40 hr week, taking my first baby to work while I was pregnant with #2. My house suffered from needing mopped and cleaned and whatever. Everyone said I was lazy...but I THINK NOT!!!! They never wore my keds and definitly didn't try to fit their bottoms in my stretch pants so I didn't two hoots about what they thought of my house. No matter what you do in life SOMEONE is ALWAYS going to have an opinion about how you should live YOUR life....nice day for people to be flying a kite wouldn't you think??
hugs!!
Jess
Farmgirl Sister #235
http://crshelpmeet-heartssong.blogspot.com/
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug. -- Mark Twain |
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Parenting & Farm Kids: Advice needed for closely-spaced Babies! |
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Advice needed for closely-spaced Babies!
