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Parenting & Farm Kids:  Parents of 3 + kids..  |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 25 2008 : 7:40:27 PM
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Hubby and I have really been talking about having a large family since we met and now it seems, we really want to make that a reality. When he gets home from deployment, we hope to have the CC's paid off or pretty darn close and have some money put away for a little house. We don't want much, just a simple country life, but I am really not worried but just awed at the prospect of raising more than 2 kiddos. What is your best advice- everything from food, clothing, learning, playing, surviving  , etc...what worked for you? Cloth diapering? Products you use? Cost cutting ideas?? We are probably about a year out before we even begin trying to have another baby, but we really are trying to plan for the best.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
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ruralfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
4309 Posts
Rene'
Prosser
WA
USA
4309 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2008 : 8:39:58 PM
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Heather,
We have 4 boys and my best friend has 10 (just had Ben a couple weeks ago)... I think if you can just not fall into the "pit" of keeping up with the Jones' (who ever they are)....and just live YOUR best life.. you will be fine.. I have found there are a lot less "needs" then wants.. and if we focused on the needs.....and were willing to make do... it all somehow works out! Sounds to me like you are on the right track just by being "here" and learning.. the farmgirl way is always the best way to my way of thinking!
Rene~Prosser Farmgirl #185
" Plant goodness, harvest the fruit of loyalty, plow the new ground of knowledge. Hosea 10:12 |
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Brew Crew
True Blue Farmgirl
676 Posts
Molly
Arizona
676 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2008 : 9:17:34 PM
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I've got 5, and #3 was the hardest to adjust to. After that, no biggie. ;) Rene's right, though, just to do things at your own pace, and not worry about being perfect! My motto is '5 and 5', which in our house means that there were 5 kids when I woke up and there were 5 kids when I went to bed, which I deem to be a successful day! ;) Nevermind if the dinner wasn't gourmet (can we say 'hot dogs'!), or the laundry wasn't all the way done, or the lawn needs to be mown. Most important is that the kids are happy and healthy and SO AM I! The laundry can wait, the cooking can be simple, but you can never make up for it if you are insane and impatient with your children. There's plenty of time when they grow up and leave home for you to do those other things.
As for the diapers, I have always used disposable, until recently. I did a 2 month experiment with cloth diapers, to see how I liked it. I LOVED the money I saved, but it didn't work for us because DH wasn't on board. He refused to change diapers and constantly commented on how the kids stank (even if they didn't really), or leaked, etc. So, I say if you have support from your DH, go for it! You will save a ton of $$. But, if your in it alone, it can be very draining.....
The Biz www.tvalahandmade.com
The Blog: http://blog.tvalahandmade.com/
The Bits www.happydalehobby.blogspot.com/
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ruralfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
4309 Posts
Rene'
Prosser
WA
USA
4309 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2008 : 10:06:33 PM
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Molly,
Youre right.. I did the clothe when home and disposal when out.. it worked great! I .... I love the 5 and 5... so true... I think the best thing to remember is there isnt a right way to do things, just whatever works for you and yours!
Rene~Prosser Farmgirl #185
" Plant goodness, harvest the fruit of loyalty, plow the new ground of knowledge. Hosea 10:12 |
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ruralfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
4309 Posts
Rene'
Prosser
WA
USA
4309 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2008 : 10:50:58 PM
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Heather,
I thought of you when I was reading MaryJane's new book tonight. On page 123 there is a sweet little quote by Jay Shafer
"when the whole world is your living room,a tiny house seems plenty" ")
Rene~Prosser Farmgirl #185
" Plant goodness, harvest the fruit of loyalty, plow the new ground of knowledge. Hosea 10:12 |
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2008 : 11:57:03 PM
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I have a pillow in my living room that says "Love Grows Best in Little Houses"..which is true of our house. We only have 4 of our 7 kids still at home...there are three grown up boys, 13 year old girl, 12 year old boy and a boy and a girl each 11.
I don't find 4 kids really alot harder than 2...just more laundry and dishes and trips in the car.
Seriously...I loved cloth diapers (only my 2 oldest are "homemade" the rest are adopted so I only had them as babies..the others were all older...3 and 1/2 years or more)made my own baby food and shop for clothes at thrift stores, and accept hand me downs when they are offered. I also try to make sure that if a child has a big dream that they are able to pursue things that pertain to it...as much as possible. I am organized about some things and totally chaotic about others...but I think if you do your best and love them it all works out. It saves alot of money NOT eating out alot..it is a rare treat for us, things like packing a picnic when we go to "town" (we live in a very small town an hour and 1/2 from anyplace big) since we can use that money that would have gone for buying lunch out for something fun. I think survival depends on your tolerance level for noise!! I don't like noise, so I keep my kids busy...busy kids are quieter kids! Really! We all do chores together every day and have an hour of reading time together every day. (so that counts as learning too)
Jenny in Utah
Proud Farmgirl sister #24
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
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Aunt Em
True Blue Farmgirl
137 Posts
Emme
Carnation
WA
137 Posts |
Posted - Jun 26 2008 : 08:15:28 AM
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I've got 4 ages 2 to 8, and we are busy, but it still just feels normal. You grow into it. I agree with the others that going from 2 to 3 felt the hardest, and number 4 has been no problem at all. My sister has 8 and she says having 4 or less was way harder, I'm sure just because they are all so little when you "only" have 2 or 3. I think its just a process of really buying into your role as a mom, and being really happy doing it. Knowing that your job is important and not always searching for that elusive "me time". There's usually plenty of "me time" if you let some certain high expectations go. Also, learn to enjoy the things you enjoy WITH your children. And be happy! Happy Mom makes for happy kids. Have fun!
Farmgirl Sister #138
http://www.LilBitCrunchy.blogspot.com
"In my world everyone is a pony, and they all eat rainbows and poop out butterflies." -Horton Hears a Who |
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babysmama
True Blue Farmgirl
931 Posts
Elizabeth
Iowa
931 Posts |
Posted - Jun 26 2008 : 08:25:36 AM
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I just have three kids as of now but want at least a few more. Their ages are 4, 3 (just turned 3 two days ago!), and 6 weeks. Baby #3 has been so easy to adjust to and he fits in perfectly with our family.
My grandma had ten children and my parents had 8 (me being the second oldest and first girl) so I have been around large families my whole life. Both my mom and grandma says the hardest time is when all your children are under five years old - once you get one or two older than that they are a huge help and it doesn't seem so hard. You also soon realize that children are not as expensive as society wants you to think as long as you don't think they need all the new video game systems, name brand clothing, a bedroom for their own, camps, dance class, etc. Yes, kids cost money but it is possible to raise kids on a budget!
My biggest tips are to use cloth diapers when they are older (I use disposables the first few months because they grow out of the infant size so quickly and I'm just too tired with a newborn to focus on cloth diapering). Shop garage sales and thrift stores for clothing, books, and toys. Get them used to homemade, homegrown food from the start so they don't become fast food junkies. Teach them to have a good imagination so they read and play made up games instead of needing all the latest gadgets to keep them entertained. Having a large family means built in playmates as well.
-Elizabeth |
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fionalovesshrek
True Blue Farmgirl
186 Posts
Paige
kinston
North Carolina
USA
186 Posts |
Posted - Jun 29 2008 : 5:01:56 PM
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I have four boys, age 3,4,6,10 and I stay at home and homeschool them. We are together almost all the time and we LOVE it. My hubby is military and was gone for a year to Iraq and goes again next year and even THAT is doable (I'm here right?!?) If you have it in your heart that mothering is your calling, that staying home is your "job" where you get paid in hugs and kisses and you do it for the right reasons, then it's easy peasy. Buying a small house well under what your loan is approved for is a great start. Saving money by line drying, handwashing dishes, using the AC only when it's REALLY HOT and using wood (wood stove) to heat in winter is a great way to cut costs. Buy what's on sale and make your menu around that. Realize that the "meat, starch, veggie" was a post WW 2 mindset and that beans and brown rice are a very healthy meal! Start now learning to shop the perimeter of your grocery store, don't buy cookies, cereal, chips, crackers etc. Make cookies, pancakes, oatmeal, crackers from scratch for your health and your wallet. Drink water, milk, tea and skip the soda's. Start now learning how to garden, see what grows in your area, make friends w/ someone w/ a garden and see if you can help. Read books on chickens, pigs, goats etc and talk with hubby about what kind of animals you'd like to have.
Thrift store clothes and toys are just as good as new, and loads cheaper. Money doesn't equal love and buying something new vs/ used doesn't mean you love your kids more or make you a better parent. Sure you can learn to sew and that might be a fun hobby, but with thrift stores around it's almost always cheaper to buy used and gently worn. With my four boys we bought all new for the second child, Grandparents bought for the first (different seasons) and it's been handmedowns and thrift stores ever since. In our house it's super cool to get to wear big brothers old shirts "now I'm a big boy cause I'm wearing his shirt!" They don't even think to ask for NEW clothes when we see them but they LOVE shopping Salvation Army. You brainwash(or white wash, depending on how you look at it!) them and they'll be better for it! Cloth diapers are good if you and hubby are both in aggrement AND if you can get some handme downs to get you started. Breastfeeding is obviously cheapest so if you can do that then easy peasy. We hear a lot of folks talking about how expensive kids are. We've been on the same pay scale for almost 9 years and laugh, thinking if WE can stretch the dollar then they can too. My husbands favorite question to ask of the naysayers is "are you planning to feed them solid gold carrots?" Kids are a blessing, beautiful, free entertainment and a life time of memories for you to have and to build. Farm life is precious and slow when it needs to be and hard working when it needs to be and is great for humankind.
I see I've written a book, this is obviously something I'm passionate about. Good luck and may your womb be bountifully blessed!
P~
living a good neighbor life |
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MissLorri
Farmgirl in Training
28 Posts
Lorri
North East
Texas
USA
28 Posts |
Posted - Jun 29 2008 : 5:27:45 PM
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I have 5 children. Three are bio and 2 adopted. I had been a foster parent for about 10 years and had 27 children during this time frame. I have found without a doubt that one of the most important things about large families is the closeness that evolves with alot of family members/ We lived in a very small home for many years and my kids will tell you today that they were happier when we lived there. We had found the house of my dreams which was a 18 room Victorian. We renovated it over 3 years and then moved in. By this time we had about 7 kids. I had more trouble after the move. The house was bigger, kids were scattered out, they had more time unsupervised by others, they had their own rooms and they got into far more trouble. I would also not allow tv, if possible or greatly limit it. We do have one and watch mostly DVD's, but cable tv is so damaging, it brings things into your home that kids should not be seeing. I am so impressed with moms who can homeschool. I just couldnt. I did not have the patient to attend to the education thing all day long. But greatly admire women who can. I sewed my kids clothes, but agree with the previous post that yard sales and thrift stores would be the way to go.
Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway....John Wayne |
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sdleah
True Blue Farmgirl
93 Posts
Leah
Pittsburg
TX
USA
93 Posts |
Posted - Jun 30 2008 : 11:24:48 AM
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I am one of five and dh is one of four...we are expecting #3 and hope to have more after this one. To be perfectly honest, finances have never even factored into our decision to have a large family...we've never had much money, but you can always add a little more water to the bean pot. I second (or third or fourth, or whatever!) the suggestion to shop at thrift stores and garage sales. Ebay is a good place to get kids' clothes too, as well as just keep your eyes and ears open for hand-me-downs...people who stop at one or two kids are usually more than happy to pass along clothes. I do plan to cloth diaper this next baby both for financial reasons and because I like to do things as naturally as possible. Cook from scratch and grow a garden if you can to save on groceries. When I was growing up, entertainment was never a problem...there were so many of us that we just loved hanging out together. We didn't go to movies or eat out much. We mostly stayed home and played games, did crafts, used our imaginations and had a blast! As we got older, we learned to play musical instruments and did lots of making music together.
Big families are great. I've never heard anyone say that they wished they had fewer children, but I've heard lots of people say that they regret not having more.
www.narrowgatemorgans.com
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mikesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3659 Posts
Sherri
Elma
WA
USA
3659 Posts |
Posted - Jun 30 2008 : 12:58:06 PM
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We never thought about finances either, before we had children. When the kids were little, we never had luxuries, but there was always enough. DH came from a family of 9, and I was an only child. I wanted a big family and he was reluctant, as he did do without - his dad was pretty irresponsible. We settled on 4 - I absolutely loved raising my kids - it was the best time in my life. Now that they are grown, they cause me much more worry than they ever did as little ones. Probably because I have no control over what they do now! Anyway, all the suggestions given above are good ones - just remember to cherish every single moment because it really is true, the days of having little children at home will be over in a blink of an eye - way before you're ready.
Farmgirl Sister #98
Check out my new online store
http://www.shopthefrontier.com/VFstore/index.php?manufacturers_id=79&osCsid=6be4b25bf9555031c6e2e86bbde23dba |
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bec414
Farmgirl in Training
25 Posts
becky
saginaw
mi
USA
25 Posts |
Posted - Jul 10 2008 : 6:53:02 PM
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We have 6. When we first were martied we though 2 maybe 3. We still don't know how many we "want". Adjusting one child at a time makes it easier. Now that we have one who can babysit for short periods of time is it freeing. The three under five was definitely the most difficult. We got through that without any major mishaps. We just don't look like the rest of the world. Fortunately, we have many friends in real time and cyber who support us or who have lots of children also.
Becky,
In the heart of Todd's home with my olive branches (Josie 11/96, Gabbi 9/98, Natalie 5/00, Daniel 9/02, Mary 9/04, and Tabitha 7/06) around my table. Ps 128:3
www.hillbilliesinabarn.blogspot.com |
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keeperofthehome
True Blue Farmgirl
154 Posts
Suzanne
Atlanta
Georgia
USA
154 Posts |
Posted - Jul 11 2008 : 3:18:52 PM
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Paige- I really enjoy your reply. That's awesome!
I have 3 children, which isn't very large compared to some families. I would love to have more, but my husband, who is 11.5 years older than myself, is done (although nothing has been done permanently, so who knows). We live in a fairly large apartment and do just fine. We have a triple bunk bed and it works. My kids have their hobbies/sports, but can do only 1 at a time. Their equiptment they get for Christmas. When they are younger it isn't much money. I have teenagers now and they cost a bit more because of peer pressure more than anything. My husband insists they go to school, so they have peer pressure everywhere they go from school to church. Anyway, children are a heritage unto the Lord and if he wants you to have them then he will provide for anything you need.
Blessings!
~Mrs. Farrah Ginter
www.homesteadblogger.com/keeperofthehome/
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Parenting & Farm Kids: Parents of 3 + kids.. |
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Parents of 3 + kids..
