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Across the Fence: Clutter challenged ![Next Topic Next Topic](icons/icon_go_right.gif) |
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lilyblossom
True Blue Farmgirl
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416 Posts
Donna
Evansville
IN
USA
416 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2008 : 7:48:18 PM
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How do I get my family to understand that we can't keep every item that they have ever owned? I am trying to round up unused items for a rummage sale this weekend, but the family is not cooperating.
My oldest child (DH)is the worse. He can not let anything go and we are running out of storage space. Now he has dreams of storing his newly acquired possessions at the farm. Oldest DD is like her father...she can't part with her possessions either. I feel like my house is a storage unit instead of a home.
What does a farmgirl do in this situation?
Donna...true blue KY farmgirl...farmgirl #86 |
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Tina Michelle
True Blue Farmgirl
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6948 Posts
Tina
sunshine state
FL
USA
6948 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2008 : 10:35:30 PM
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one time when I was feeling really overloaded by one of my kids' room starting to get seriously overloaded/cluttered I had the child haul everything, and I mean everything out to the living room floor. We then made 3 piles. 1 for keeps, 1 for get rid of, and 1 for I'm not sure. We sat down together and yes it took all day long to go through it..but during that time I also spoke about the importance of sharing/giving to others less fortunate. Then I took the child back into the totally empty room with tons of space and explained that there was alot more room and space and it did not need or want to be cluttered up with a whole lot of unnecessary "stuff" That the less is more philosophy works so much better for ones mind to be able to actually enjoy the items that are their favorites. It was some hard convincing on a few things..but I told the child that if they didn't go through things and totally majorally thin down things on their own with me asking the questions of "keep,toss,don't know" that they certainly would not like it if I undertook the task all by myself.This option gave them a choice of sorts , but I still stood my ground that a whole lot of it had to go and that I needed them to thin out X amount of garbage bags full of items. (you can determine how many that needs to be by the amount of clutter..in this case it was about 5 garbage bags full of items) I sat with the child all day long simply holding up an item and saying "keep, toss, don't know".Then at the end of the day we went back through the "don't know "pile and thinned it down even more. It is a huge undertaking to do it this way..and you have to definitely make sure you are up to the task and stay 100 percent firm and committed, because trust me..they will turn on the tears sometimes to get their way, or even just get plain stubborn about things..but patience is key. Now..with the younger children's room we go through things together, and sometimes with older child I'll just tell them..o.k. I need you to do some major clear out.
Good luck.
~Seize the Day! Live, Love, Laugh~ visit me at: http://gardengoose.blogspot.com/ and at www.stliving.net you can also check out my etsy shops at:http://GardenGooseGifts.etsy.com |
Edited by - Tina Michelle on Jun 02 2008 10:45:11 PM |
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BarefootGoatGirl
True Blue Farmgirl
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1495 Posts
Corrine
North Carolina
USA
1495 Posts |
Posted - Jun 03 2008 : 04:45:41 AM
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i junk out a little at a time when they're not looking. my boys hoard spare parts, bits and pieced of mechanical equipment, and enough rocks to pave the walkway if i were so energetic. my girls hoard clothes and "baby" misc. sometimes it just has to go.
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What we write today slipped into our souls some other day when we were alone and doing nothing. -Brenda Ueland
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http://musingandmuttering.blogspot.com |
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KYgurlsrbest
True Blue Farmgirl
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4853 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4853 Posts |
Posted - Jun 03 2008 : 11:33:43 AM
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Your dh sounds like mine, Donna. It's like he was raised during the depression, but he was raised in the 1970's...We went through this a few months back when I was attempting to unclutter the mess in the back two rooms we were remodelling. He wanted to keep a curtain rod that we didn't even use anymore (the one's that are like $2.00?), and he WOULD NOT let me pitch it. Also, boxes and empty plastic storage containers that (I think) were shoe boxes. "YOU CAN'T THROW THOSE OUT...THEY'RE GOOD FOR SOMETHING!!!"...We agreed that if he couldn't come up with the "something" in two days time (48 hours), they would go into the garbage, or to the thrift store donation bin.
But, like Corrine, especially when it comes to clothing (like corduroys that don't have any more "cord" on the knees), I just toss stuff when he's not around. We have too much, so he never misses anything :)
Farmgirl Sister #80, thanks to a very special farmgirl from the Bluegrass..."She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"... NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian. http://www.buyhandmade.org/ |
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nubidane
True Blue Farmgirl
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2899 Posts
Lisa
Georgetown
OH
2899 Posts |
Posted - Jun 03 2008 : 11:51:23 AM
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Hey Donna |
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nubidane
True Blue Farmgirl
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2899 Posts
Lisa
Georgetown
OH
2899 Posts |
Posted - Jun 03 2008 : 11:54:09 AM
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Hey Donna Mi sis does this for her son & it works great. She has a yearly garage sale, & lets him sell his old stuff & take the money made & buy 1 cool thing. She also has him give some of the money to charity, & he really looks forward to that every year. That way you can get rid of multiple items & have them replaced with only one. Maybe DH would go for that too(after all he is just a big kid, right??) |
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lilyblossom
True Blue Farmgirl
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416 Posts
Donna
Evansville
IN
USA
416 Posts |
Posted - Jun 03 2008 : 1:27:08 PM
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Jonni - you hit the nail on the head about the "growing up in the depression". Hubbies mother grew up in the depression and her house perfect on the first floor (everyone thought she was wonderfully organized and a very neat housekeeper). What they didn't see was the basement - total chaos. It took a month of hauling stuff out when she moved to her condo.
Lisa - I'm trying the "yard sale" idea this weekend. Last night I was asking hubby about a vacuum that is sitting in the garage. He informed me it could stay there because he doesn't need the $10. He's okay with me getting rid of the kids' stuff, etc. Just not any of "his" things.
Donna |
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miss wilma
True Blue Farmgirl
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3410 Posts
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Wilma
Knob Lick
Ky
USA
3410 Posts |
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Ronna
True Blue Farmgirl
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1891 Posts
Ronna
Fernley
NV
USA
1891 Posts |
Posted - Jun 03 2008 : 8:30:28 PM
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This is why only one packrat is allowed per marriage! My other half thinks if you don't need something for 15 minutes, it should go in the trash. But it's okay if he needs something and I have it. He was raised by a mother who saved everything and pinched a penny till it screamed and he was the black sheep of the family. She was upset when he bought me a new Corvette when we got back together, told me he might need that money someday. That's why she died with a large amount of $$$ in the bank...and his share has been collecting interest since '95, so it's there if we need it. And yes, I still have the car...and him. And we have lots of "toys" and will leave this earth without regrets about what we woulda/shoulda/coulda done. My mother told me to enjoy life and do what we want while we still can and we are. Guess it doesn't sound very good to some, but it works for us. |
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lilyblossom
True Blue Farmgirl
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416 Posts
Donna
Evansville
IN
USA
416 Posts |
Posted - Jun 03 2008 : 8:57:58 PM
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Miss Wilma - hubby may just be a brother to yours. I can't imagine that there could be another man out there who has "stuff dispersement" issues like mine.
Donna...true blue KY farmgirl, farmgirl #86 |
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