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Parenting & Farm Kids:  Dealing with a hyper toddler..  |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
 Posted - May 24 2008 : 6:57:17 PM
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And it is not because Charlie is 2. He has been overactive since he was living in my tummy. He would kick me so hard and for so long I thought he was going to kick his way out. He never slept in the "taco" wrap from the very first day, always wiggling his way out of his blankets. He was a horrible sleeper for the first 7 months and even now, fights me to go to bed. He started walking at 9 months, never even crawled. We do the normal routine every night but still, nothing works and I have tried EVERYTHING- singing, rocking, reading, lights off and rubbing his back, etc....!!! He is hyper all the time and cannot sit still, and I mean he has constant leg movement. Had him checked by the ped. and she says he is normal and on track if not a bit ahead of where he should be. He is talking in sentences, doing some counting, abc's, like to "play" read to me, etc. and his physical skills seem normal to me other than having a little case of shyness in new situations, he is normal but at high speed.
I am experimenting with food and complete lack of tv and more time outdoors to see if this helps. Anyone have a child that is a wild person above and beyond the normal throws of being 2??? It is exhausting.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
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kindacrunchymom
True Blue Farmgirl
94 Posts
Diane
In the thumb
Michigan
94 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2008 : 7:28:48 PM
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Well, Olivia wouldn't have the swaddling either, and she was soooo cranky! She is not what anyone else would call "hyper", but she can go and go and go. Today she was up from 7am to 9:30 pm, yikes! She is not the kid to toddle off into the corner and take a nap, sigh...
Courage, sister! That's about all the advice I have  DOes he have a lovey? Livvy has a blanket that she loves on and it is very soothing for her. She used to need it in new situations and stuff, but now it's just at bedtime.
I don't know if it would work for your schedule, but we basically gave up an a regular bedtime per se--most nights she is asleep by 8p (no nap, though) but it isn't set in stone. It is much harder during growth spurts and right before a big milestone. ANyway, what I do is, about an hour and a half before "bedtime", I start doing everything slower. I dim the lights, talk softly, walk slowly, etc. I direct her toward quieter toys, avoid "active" play, and stuff like that. Then, about a half hour before, I sit, quietly and read. I tell her that she is welcome to join me when she is ready with a book, and usually, within ten minutes she does.
Livvy is 3, though, and this kind of evolved. When she was still in her crib it was easier because I was able to lay her down with books and that was it.
Farmmom to my 3 year old farm tot, and wife to a country boy!
To learn more about me, here is my blog:
http://mcadmom.wordpress.com/
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2008 : 7:47:18 PM
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Thanks Diane!! Right now, Charlie is attached to his Little People Baby dressed like a bunny- go figure!! He takes that to nap and sleep with.
I try to stick to a schedule. He was a handful today to say the least. He kept throwing toys at me and the dog and then smack me in the mouth because he thought I was playing with him. I tell him no calmly but by the third time, it was off to the corner for him. I am so fraught with guilt for putting him in daycare because I know he is picking up bad traits but I so have to be in school and I do my best on my own right now when he is home. Seriously, we walked 2 miles today and he still was full of energy. He is GO GO GO And GO FASTER!!!
He has never been a get in your crib, be calm and go to sleep kinda kid no matter what I have tried. It has been so rough some times I have gotten on my knees outside of his bedroom door and prayed. Yep!! I will take all the help I can get.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
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kindacrunchymom
True Blue Farmgirl
94 Posts
Diane
In the thumb
Michigan
94 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2008 : 7:56:54 PM
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Have you ever gone to the "Gentle Christian Mothers" site? They have some very helpful advice. I only lurk there, but the techniques people use are so helpful. (You don't have to be Christian to join)
For toy throwing (and again, this might not work for you but it was great for us), we put the toy in "time out". The time out spot is on top on the fridge where she can see it so that she doesn't just forget about it. It nips it in the bud so fast, one reminder and that's it! The first day we had, oh, at least six toys up there before she got it that I wasn't kidding. Instead of saying "no" we try to remember to say what we do want ("Oh--did you forget, hands are for helping and loving, remember? Can you show me a loving touch? helping touch?" etc, etc)
We dealt with hitting or anger issues by practicing what to do when you're mad--she can stomp her feet, hit a pillow, say "I'm mad", etc. We talked about it all the time so that it was rote and when she is mad she automatically does one of the "approved" things--we started that at just before 2.
Of course, I mess it all up at least once a day, and we go through some horrendous times when I have no idea what to do. Two is so hard because their minds are gorwing so much faster than their verbal ability and they really need help communicating. It does get better!!
Farmmom to my 3 year old farm tot, and wife to a country boy!
To learn more about me, here is my blog:
http://mcadmom.wordpress.com/
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2008 : 8:02:29 PM
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Thanks Diane!! What a great idea!! I have a basket I could use for the timeout toys (the tractor already goes on top of the tv console when he runs over the dog or me) : )
I am working with the "hands are for loving, gentle touches" etc but sometimes, the corner is the only thing that works. I watch him and it is like he can't control his body sometimes- he just has to be moving all the time. I also ask him if he needs help when he is getting frustrated doing something with a short attention span and I ask him to use him words or if I can't understand him, to point to what he is trying to say. Today, he was saying something like "Sheeds" and for the life of me, I couldn't figure it out. I had him show me and he wanted Cheese!! HA!! I am getting there but it is exhausting!!!
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
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kindacrunchymom
True Blue Farmgirl
94 Posts
Diane
In the thumb
Michigan
94 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2008 : 8:05:45 PM
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Lol--they are sooo emphatic when they use those unintelligable words, huh? Poor babies, it really must be hard!
Try to get a break now and again--I know that the calmer I am, the calmer Liv is! The exhausting part doesn't get better at 3, though, it is just a different sort (why? why? why? all.day.long.).
Farmmom to my 3 year old farm tot, and wife to a country boy!
To learn more about me, here is my blog:
http://mcadmom.wordpress.com/
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2008 : 8:10:12 PM
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Well, he goes to daycare, so I try during the day and week to spread out my list of things to do. I don't really know anyone here and hubby is deployed for the next 8 months, so it is a real challenge but if I can survive this I can conquer ANYTHING that comes my way!! I can hear the why's coming now..right now his favorite is "Whatcha doin' ". oh my!!!
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
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kindacrunchymom
True Blue Farmgirl
94 Posts
Diane
In the thumb
Michigan
94 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2008 : 8:15:32 PM
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Oh my, you have so much on your plate, huh? You are one strong woman to take all of this on, wow!
If you can find a local moms meetup group, it might do a world of good. If I was there, I'd gladly come over!
Here is a great article on sodium benzoate and hyperactivity:
http://www.slate.com/id/2173911/
I know the worst meltdown Olivia ever had was after drinking a red kool-aid type thing at a playdate--it was just awful.
Farmmom to my 3 year old farm tot, and wife to a country boy!
To learn more about me, here is my blog:
http://mcadmom.wordpress.com/
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2008 : 8:29:21 PM
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That is why I am so interested in correcting Charlie's diet because even though I do a pretty good job with is foods and the daycare food isn't that bad as they do have to maintain some sort of standard, I really think there is a correlation.
I ain't that strong,,,just bullheaded!! ; )
And I know that this is the last time hubby and I will be separated...honestly, I can't do anymore and counting down these days is a blessing to me.
I am trying to start a local mom's meetup that involves some form of walking or something- burn calories and burn some frustration!!
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
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BarefootGoatGirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1495 Posts
Corrine
North Carolina
USA
1495 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2008 : 06:00:34 AM
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Heather,
I have one who sounds just like your Charlie, only he's 6 now. For the most part he's pretty managable these days, except when he senses that I am feeling weak and tired then he takes full advantage of the situation. Over all, I think I just kept on keeping on and loving him until he got to the age where he realsied it was in his best interest to obey mommy. We still have bedtime issues. He shares a room with his 3 sibblings and keeps them awake for hours at night. Then when he's tired in the morning he is blaims me for getting him up too early.
Like Diane suggested, toy time out really works. I use to put his toys in jail on top of the fridge. He lost so many toys I had to keep a log of what was detained and for how long. At 2 years old, one day should be enough, but now Lonnie looses his for up to a week. Also, with Lonnie, I found that sometimes he needs to slow down but just doesn't know how to. When he was 2 years old under foot, climbing the bookcase, bonking the baby with a GI Joe, feeding the dog a whole carton of eggs, monkey climbing the cabinets to sit on the fridge, etc... I use to take the baby's high chair into where ever I was working and set him in it with some toys. We would talk and sing while I did my work and he was completely happy. A lot of times he would end up falling asleep in the chair and I would move him to bed. The first time I did it was compleatly self preservation (I'm going to go crazy if this kid doesn't stop!) but once I found out how well it worked we did it at least a couple times a day. The amazing thing was, he seemed more content in the chair and was much more calm when I let him out than he was before I put him in.
Ok, hope this helps some. Your on the right track with diet and everything. Just keep going, he wont be 2 for forever.
What we write today slipped into our souls some other day when we were alone and doing nothing.
-Brenda Ueland
http://quilandneedle.blogspot.com/
http://musingandmuttering.blogspot.com |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2008 : 06:10:29 AM
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Thanks Corinne!! Today is the first day without tv. He got up grumpy and was hitting me but I told him hands are for loving and I hugged him and walked away so I wouldn't get mad. He is playing with his toys right now and I made a Father's Day card with which I dipped his hands in paint and put them on the card. He liked that.
I am made to feel guilty at his daycare because they can't settle him down for a nap. I tell them' Just tell him lay down, close your eyes and go to sleep. I told them put him in the corner if he does not listen after 2 times. It works for me 95% of the time and I don't believe in spanking or harsh yelling. A firm "TO the corner" works. I need to go to school so I can have a decent job somewhere in the future and God only knows what is going to happen when Scott gets out of the military and I need to have him in daycare or else I would seriously be in trouble mentally. I have no outside help whatsoever so weekends are draining on me. Simplifying my life is helping a lot. With less stuff to worry about, I can have an open weekends with him. Lots of walking and he is starting to do yoga with me. He nees a lot of attention. Even at school, he clings to his teacher. I know he is a sweet child but I just need some direction and solutions.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
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kindacrunchymom
True Blue Farmgirl
94 Posts
Diane
In the thumb
Michigan
94 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2008 : 06:25:58 AM
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((((HUGS))))
You have so much going on, this must be really, really hard!
In your area do youhave other daycare options? I wonder if some of the issue is that there is a conflict between your parenting style and the style of his daycare. Maybe I'm just naive, but I don't think a daycare should ever make a parent feel guilty about something like that--every child is different and deserves to be respected as such.
Those rowdy ones are also so smart, and I bet he is picking up on the difference!
Farmmom to my 3 year old farm tot, and wife to a country boy!
To learn more about me, here is my blog:
http://mcadmom.wordpress.com/
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2008 : 07:06:16 AM
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I picked this one over many because it is a country setting and they let them run around alot, which is perfect for him. The other daycares are trying to be cool and use computers and they sit a lot and I don't like that. I would love a more structured school with emphasis on free learning but we just don't have that here. So, I make up the slack here at home. I try to get him creative, even if it is just folding laundry over and over. I just don't think most daycare are trained to deal with different personalities- they learn the basics and then expect everyone else to follow the same route.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
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BarefootGoatGirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1495 Posts
Corrine
North Carolina
USA
1495 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2008 : 2:07:52 PM
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Heather, I so know what you mean about weekends! By saterday night the kids and I are all batty. I have to keep reminding myeslef that this is just a phase. Someday I will be through school, my kids will be more independent, and I will miss them. So far, I have been very blessed with childcare options. The one I sent Gretchy to is a new district run preschool with good structure and lots of open learning opertunities. Her teachers are just awesome!
As for our rowdy boys, I agree with Diane. At the school where I work, my favorite kids are the ones labeled trouble makers. They are smart, have amazing ideas nobody will develope, and get board and frustraited with the system. Friday, I had one come throught the lunch line debating with me over rather my telling him that a certain item was good could be classified as persuasion. This was a 10 year old!
What we write today slipped into our souls some other day when we were alone and doing nothing.
-Brenda Ueland
http://quilandneedle.blogspot.com/
http://musingandmuttering.blogspot.com |
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nut4fabric
True Blue Farmgirl
885 Posts
Kathy
Morgan Hill
CA
USA
885 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2008 : 8:43:38 PM
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Heather have you tried taking him off cows milk? I have a friend whose son was just like you described, she stopped cows milk and it was like a miracle cure, her son slept at nap time and bedtime without a struggle and calmed down in all ways. Worth a try maybe?
Hugs, Kathy |
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kissmekate
True Blue Farmgirl
890 Posts
Kate
Delano
Minnesota
890 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2008 : 10:18:34 PM
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Charlie reminds me of Lauren at that age-she was a whirling dervish. I promise it will get better. Poor buddy's brain is working too fast for him to communicate or handle.
Just keep being firm-the time outs (a minute per year of age) for him and the time out for the tossed toys are great ideas.
Lauren is still a pistol, but at least at her age (twelve) she can redirect that energy to something else.
Don't miss out on a blessing, just because it isn't packaged the way you expected. ~MaryJo Copeland |
Edited by - kissmekate on May 25 2008 10:21:31 PM |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - May 26 2008 : 06:14:12 AM
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He get very little milk, only at school. We drink organic soymilk here because I have lactose issues too. They give them a lot of water at school but are required to give them a glass of milk to meet standards. I could start bringing in Soy for him. He likes the vanilla.
I swear I can see his little brain working faster than what he can process and not just to be a Mom here, I think he is really a smart toddler. He progressed so fast that they moved him up already from the other 2 year olds and he is flourishing. He is good about his time outs, he goes right to the corner (though sometimes whining) but he goes. I am hoping when he turns 3 to get him into sports to burn some energy and give him some direction. I have read alot about athletes who had ADD, dsylexia or something similiar and all were put in sports and all succeeded. I am going to start taking him to Friday night football in the fall when it starts.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
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BarefootGoatGirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1495 Posts
Corrine
North Carolina
USA
1495 Posts |
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bboopster
True Blue Farmgirl
1140 Posts
Betty Jo
West Bend
Wisconsin
USA
1140 Posts |
Posted - May 26 2008 : 09:06:49 AM
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Good morning Heather, Thank you for supporting your husband during his deployment. I know how hard it is to be a single mom. Did it for 15 years before my divorce and another 15 after. My children range from 20-27. I spent 10 years in special ed in the behavior and emotional department as a teaching assistant. I have owned my own daycare and last year went to work for a daycare after moving to a new city. Presently I am a Nanny for a family of 3 boys, ADHD/Add, and other issues. I also adopted two children with ADD/ADHD. I'm not sure about your daycares regulations in your state but here in Wisconsin they do have a standard to follow with food but it's not a healthy nutrition standard but just a standard feeding rule. The standard is not even as high as for the school systems. Most of the food they feed is processed foods. Easy to make and cheap so that they can make more money. Lots of boxed, canned and frozen things. Lots of sugar, salt and artificial ingredients and colors can be found in those foods. I also had a little boy in my 4 year old class that would not go to sleep throw fits, hit me ect.. I left before his mother came to get him and she was always told what a good boy he was and how well he slept. He didn't, but the second shift teacher and the owner never wanted parents to hear any bad that went on at the center. So he may not be as easy as they say he is. You also do not need to feel guilty if he is that easy it could be he is just with a group and they all are taking naps. Children can be different in a classroom situation. They also should not be using time out if he is under three. (state law here) I don't agree, time outs work well for most 18 months and up I think. One minute per year of age. I did with my children what the others have suggested, toys in time out but in view, corner time, allowed type of showing anger, bed time routines and a VERY simple life for myself. Have him help you clean, or fold the clothes, helping makes children feel good even if you need to redo it later. I also was very particular with their food for as long as I could control it. We still had treats but I made sure they were homemade and full of good stuff. Lots of fiber and protein. Ground flax can be added to just about anything you make and it disappears. You would be surprised how good a chocolate chip cookie can be with chick peas in them.
Recipe by Jessica Seinfeild - Decepetively Delicious
Chocolate Chip Cookies
Nonstick cooking spray
1 cup firmly packed light or dark brown sugar
3/4 cup trans-fat free soft tub margarine spread
2 large egg whites
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1 (15 - ounce) can chickpeas, drained and rinsed.
2 Cups (12 ounces) semisweet chocolate chips
3/4 cup chopped walnuts (optional)
3/4 cups raisins (optional)
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
Preheat oven to 350 degrees, F. Coat a baking sheet with cooking spray.
In a large mixing bowl or the bowl of an electric mixer, beat the sugar and margarine with a wooden spoon or on medium speed until smooth. Beat in the egg whites and vanilla, then the chickpeas and chocolate chips. Add the flour, oats, baking soda, and salt, walnuts and raisins (if wanted,) and mix on a low speed until a thing dough forms.
Drop the dough by the tablespoonful onto the baking sheet, spacing the cookies about 2 inches apart. Press gently with a fork to flatten. Bake until the cookies are golden brown and just set, 11 to 13 mintues; do not overbake. Transfer to a rack to cool.
Store in an airtight container for up to 3 days.
Her book is awesome and I use it where I Nanny, as those children like nothing healthy (HaHa Nanny wins)
Just keep your head high, watch his diet and keep your son as active as possible. YMCA activities (swimming lessons and free swim are good activities), city rec departments, family centers, churches all are good places to start for activities or mother/parent groups. Is there a support group of others who have spouses or S.O.s on deployment in the area? How about at your college? I know here they have some parents groups for students. That sad part is before you know it he will be grown, on his own, and calling you to let you know you are going to be a Grandma and then you can smile and chuckle to yourself as you know how much FUN parenting can be. Good luck with school. Your husband and your family are in my prayers.
http://www.bboopster.blogspot.com
3 Blue Star Mother and Proud of it!
Pray for our troops to come home safe and soon.
Enjoying the road to the simple life :>) |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - May 26 2008 : 09:23:12 AM
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Thank you so much Betty Jo!! It is tough- I want to do the best for Charlie but I have to keep going for myself and my family or else where does that leave us? I rather hear the truth from the school- if it is Charlie, correct Charlie if it is the teachers, correct the teachers. People are so paranoid about being sued these days.
I bought a drink cooler bucket with handles that is big enough for him to play in and cool off at the same time. We take walks as much as we can, I gave him all the towels yesterday to fold and I move my Jeep out of the garage and let him draw out there with chalk. I figure I can hose it down after he is done (living in apartment, I can't do it on the regular sidewalk, they would freak!!)
I have modified his diet over the past 2 days. He seems about 15% calmer to me and less irritable. Here is what he ate:
Multi grain Cheerios with soy milk
2 bananas
2 pickles
Organic Cheese on Ezekial bread with a little yogurt butter
Strawberries
Cracker with Soy nut Butter
Hamburger and fries- homemade.
Juice/ diluted to 75% water/25% juice
Some of my orange juice and some ice water.
He is doing better. I don't think he has ADD, I think he is super sensitive, like me, to the chemicals in food. I know I get this "crazy" feeling when I eat junk, processed food.
He is very observant and wants to do what the other kids are doing. Like I mentioned in my other post, they wanted me to bring in a pacifier to get him to sleep. I am totally against this. I am going to try sending him with Mickey tomorrow.
I think I am going to go ahead and purchase that book. I have been eyeing it for awhile. Thanks!!!
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
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Parenting & Farm Kids: Dealing with a hyper toddler.. |
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Dealing with a hyper toddler..
