| Author |
Across the Fence:  Where do my self hangups come from??  |
|
|
catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 12 2008 : 7:35:24 PM
|
I realized today alot of my self hangups come directly from my Mom and are not really mine at all. Work with me here. She was always complaining that her clothes weren't good enough, she had to lose weight or that she was "big boned" compared to others, that girls don't "act" like that ( I can't define that, but it is everything my mother dislikes about me) and I realized I am not living my life, but letting my mother's personal hangups hold me back. I am sure someone has some spiffy term for it- reflective behavior or something, but boy, this has got me thinking differently about myself today.
Wow!! what a "aha" that is!!
Cheers,
Heather
FARMGIRL #90 |
|
|
queenofdreamsz4u
True Blue Farmgirl
3845 Posts
Stephanie Suzanne
Smoky Mountains Tennessee
USA
3845 Posts |
Posted - Apr 12 2008 : 7:55:55 PM
|
Hey there Heather,
I beleive that we tend to acquire these "learned" behaviors and emotions (positive and negative) especially through our childhood and younger adulthood. They are usually imprinted by those we trust or love very much. Only once we mature and have our own lives can we truly come to terms with and discover who we really are, who they really are and "unlearn" all that negatively affects us piece by piece. This is when your very own character is established and wisdom starts arriving.
At almost 50...this is my take on it. :o)
Stephanie
www.queenofdreamsz.blogspot.com
www.dreamkingdomdesigns.blogspot.com
www.dreamkingdomdesigns.com |
Edited by - queenofdreamsz4u on Apr 12 2008 7:58:03 PM |
 |
|
|
frannie
True Blue Farmgirl
2246 Posts
fran
bonham
texas
USA
2246 Posts |
|
|
lisamarie508
True Blue Farmgirl
2648 Posts
Lisa
Idaho City
ID
USA
2648 Posts |
|
|
bboopster
True Blue Farmgirl
1140 Posts
Betty Jo
West Bend
Wisconsin
USA
1140 Posts |
Posted - Apr 13 2008 : 11:00:25 AM
|
I am sure this is why my mother and I get along but could never live together again. I left at 18 and 2 days and have never returned. She is always complaining about her body, lack of money, clothing, house to small yada, yada, yada. I always had a hard time with it. She goes on vacation 3-4 times a year, wears a size 14, and has a beautiful house. Besides drives a new van, has enough blinge to make you wear sun glasses on a cloudy day. I have fallen many times into her way of thinking and been depressed because of it. Then something hits me upside the head and I wake from her grasp. The next thing I know I am out in the garden hip deep in mud or in the kitchen cooking a huge meal and loving everything about it. Knowing she is horrified at the very thought of dirt or cooking. 
http://www.bboopster.blogspot.com
3 Blue Star Mother and Proud of it!
Pray for our troops to come home safe and soon.
Enjoying the road to the simple life :>) |
|
|
|
4forMe
True Blue Farmgirl
166 Posts
Dawn
Easton
MD
166 Posts |
Posted - Apr 13 2008 : 11:06:32 AM
|
While I love my mother and am thankful for her, I only recently realized some of the negative imprints that she left on me and I am working through them. I am certain that she got them from her mother who got them from her sisters (my mothers aunts, my grandmothers mother died giving birth to her).
Anyway, it does take time to realize these things and see your way through them. I managed to do it, although it is a struggle sometimes I try not to blame my mother, after all she is who she is and I can't change that.
Sewing, knitting, gardening mom of 4. |
|
|
|
queenofdreamsz4u
True Blue Farmgirl
3845 Posts
Stephanie Suzanne
Smoky Mountains Tennessee
USA
3845 Posts |
Posted - Apr 13 2008 : 9:42:37 PM
|
Hey Frannie,
Oh yes, it's a journey!! Lots of paths through the mountains and valleys.
Lisa, good for you!
Always follow your own intuition and never believe that you can't do ANYTHING when you decide to do it....I believe I heard the phrases "What makes you think you can do that?" or "You don't know how to do that?" one too many times. I have fallen down a few times but always dust myself off and keep going 
A strong will to keep going and to do things in your own way and in your own time is essential. Otherwise, you are only a shadow of "what or who" you are following.
Stephanie
www.queenofdreamsz.blogspot.com
www.dreamkingdomdesigns.blogspot.com
www.dreamkingdomdesigns.com |
|
|
|
Miss Bee Haven
True Blue Farmgirl
4331 Posts
Janice
Louisville/Irvington
Kentucky
USA
4331 Posts |
Posted - Apr 14 2008 : 06:28:19 AM
|
My mother had all the faith in the world in me.....all the faith that I would fail or not do anything right. That low self image thing is what I call 'the gift that keeps on giving'. It's like being at the bottom of a hill and trying constantly to get to the top, with something pulling you back. My mother took one look at pictures of our farmhouse right after we bought it and she was appalled and thought we had thrown our money away and were continuing to throw it away if we thought we were going to save that house and live in it. So good for you, Heather, for coming to a realization early in your life that you are you and that's better than good enough! Look at what you've accomplished so far! Keep on moving.
Farmgirl Sister #50
"If you think you've got it nailed down, then what's all that around it?"
'Br.Dave Gardner' |
|
|
| |
Across the Fence: Where do my self hangups come from?? |
|
Where do my self hangups come from??
