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Family Matters:  First Grand-baby on it's way  |
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bboopster
True Blue Farmgirl
1140 Posts
Betty Jo
West Bend
Wisconsin
USA
1140 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 20 2008 : 3:49:19 PM
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This afternoon my youngest son arrived with his X girlfriend to announce that they were going to have a baby. Well she is no longer his X but they are both 20 and my son is in the Guard and leaving next January for Iraq. She is a college student going to school for nuclear medicine. Neither really has ever held a job for any length of time. My son just makes his bills every month. They have decided to give their relationship another try. Her mother has told her that she must quit school. His dad has told him they must get married. His dad and her parents have been just making their lives miserable. I just don't see the point. It happened and let's make the best of this situation. There is a child coming into this world. Let's make it a happy place with love and support. So I gave he a book called Psalms for a New Mother (I actually bought it and had it stored to give when I need a new mother gift) and gave him a small teething doll I had made. We talked babies, baby stuff, what they are think on doing the nursery in Yada, Yada, Yada. I hope I made them feel not so bad. I would love to scream at them but how can you and what would that do?
So I am officially announcing that I am joining the Nana in training world. You Grandmothers and Nana's out there HELP!!!!!! Baby is due in September. 
http://www.bboopster.blogspot.com
3 Blue Star Mother and Proud of it!
Pray for our troops to come home safe and soon.
Enjoying the road to the simple life :>) |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2008 : 3:56:48 PM
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Betty Jo- that is so wonderful of you to make the situation better instead of worse for them. I wish them, you and the new baby all the best. Lots of love is all you need!!!
Cheers,
Heather
FARMGIRL #90 |
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Hideaway Farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1553 Posts
Jo
Virginia
USA
1553 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2008 : 07:45:03 AM
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Wow, Betty Jo -
First of all, Welcome to the Club Grand! Regardless of whether the relationship between your son and his girlfriend progressed to marriage or not, and even if they split up or later, you are going to have a grandbaby!
I agree wholeheartedly with your approach. What's done is done, and the only thing you have to do now is build and maintain a solid and trusting relationship with this girl, and continue to be part of the baby's life when he/she is born.
Hugs,
Jo
"Wish I had time to work with herbs all day!" |
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bboopster
True Blue Farmgirl
1140 Posts
Betty Jo
West Bend
Wisconsin
USA
1140 Posts |
Posted - Mar 24 2008 : 2:18:11 PM
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Easter dinner was a little tense as my son had to announce to the rest of the family that he was expecting. But after the announcement the dinner went off with out a hitch. Maybe it was the shock or maybe the food, food usually cures all in family. No one showed their disapproval which he was worried about not even his Grandmother. She can be a tough cookie. I know I grew up with her. So now we can all start to plan a bit and be on the look out for second hand items. I secretly have been looking and have bought a few items and baby boy or girl can use. Now I have the reason to embellish them. My son also asked me to help him design a nursery at his apartment. When he was a baby he had life size bears painted on his walls with a fence, flowers, birds and all the linens and trimmings. So this will be fun once he decides on what he wants. Nana in training
http://www.bboopster.blogspot.com
3 Blue Star Mother and Proud of it!
Pray for our troops to come home safe and soon.
Enjoying the road to the simple life :>) |
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CountryBorn
True Blue Farmgirl
1545 Posts
Mary Jane
New York
USA
1545 Posts |
Posted - Mar 24 2008 : 2:59:29 PM
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I hope you realize what a wonderful thing you have done for them! To have your good attitude and even some joy for them is the best gift you could have given them. They are not 16, they are 20, yes , it would of been better if they had waited. But, what is the point of "what you should have done?" The reality is the baby is coming. They seem pleased and will have a beautiful child and you a grandchild whether or not they marry or even stay together. My husband and I went through this many years ago. Only I was 17 and he was 20. Only I was thrilled to death and so was he and neither one of us really cared who else wasn't.
It's true we were planing on marrying that fall anyway,but we still got all the flack. My father was carrying on because I didn't wait and get a big wedding and his business friends would have given us a lot of money. I could of cared less. His mother was hysterical she was laying on the couch clutching a hankie and acting like a fool. Basically we said in a nice way get over it. She even tried to blame me for ruining her sons life. Tom told her to stop it or she wouldn't see him or our baby ever. She recovered quickly. Guess what, we became very close and stayed that way until she passed away. She even used me as an example for taking responsibility, saying to older girls, if my DIL could do it at 17 you can certainly do it at 25. You will love being a Nana, it is the most wonderful thing in the world. You think you love your own kids so much and you do, but there is something with grandkids that just really, really melts your heart. I am so happy for you!!
From one Nana to another Congratulations!!! Mary Jane
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
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goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl
1599 Posts
Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts |
Posted - Mar 24 2008 : 7:39:42 PM
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Congratulations!! Let them work it out is my best advice. If they want to get married, let them, if they don't, let them. I'm sorry, but I don't see the point of getting married just to get married. Been there, done that, big mistake.
The best advice is to spoil the kid rotten and leave it to your son and son's g-friend to keep the kid straightened out. Works a charm for me!! (Be sure to let your kids know you plan to do this so they are forewarned...hehehe...)
Winona :-)
When you lose, don't lose the lesson!!
http://goneriding.wordpress.com/
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Tammy Claxton
True Blue Farmgirl
1559 Posts
Tammy
Glen Burnie
Maryland
USA
1559 Posts |
Posted - Mar 25 2008 : 08:03:06 AM
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Congrats on the new grand baby that coming soon! How exciting! You have a wonderful outlook on this. I agree that making them feel terrible isn't good. Things happen and it's best to just deal with it in a positive way.
Crafty Bay Farmgirl Chapter
"A friend is someone who does things that count, but never stops to count them"
Farmgirl #152
http://countryintheburbs.blogspot.com/ |
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mkmomus
True Blue Farmgirl
248 Posts
Merle
Greensboro
NC
248 Posts |
Posted - Mar 25 2008 : 4:29:22 PM
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Betty Jo--Me Too!!! My 20 year old daughter and her boyfriend told me last week. She is due October 6th. They are planning on getting married in 2 months (so they say, we will see). Not quite the way I planned either but what the heck- a baby is a blessing no matter how they get here. I did buy a little onesie that says "Let's face it, it's time to call Grandma". I only get paid once a month (state employee) and we are going to start hitting the 2nd hand stores as well. I think I will look for that book as well. We must keep in touch!
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Edited by - mkmomus on Mar 25 2008 4:30:24 PM |
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bboopster
True Blue Farmgirl
1140 Posts
Betty Jo
West Bend
Wisconsin
USA
1140 Posts |
Posted - Mar 27 2008 : 02:50:44 AM
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Winona I had to LOL as I have always to my children when the make me a Nana, better be prepared. I always said I would spoil my grandchildren rotten with attention, activities ie. cooking, baking, mud pie making, sewing, dirt bike riding, gardening ect.... Each child would have their own set of overalls and aprons (both boys and girl) waiting for them jump into them when they arrive. Once properly dress the fun can begin!!!!! When going home in one hand baked treats that they helped make and the other (used to be a mountain dew)a beverage to hold them over on the ride home. The very funny part my son brought it up the other day and asked it my plan was the same. I told him Yes but no soda! He was excited and is even talking about moving closer to me. Says the baby needs a Nana like me. The other Grands are money slingers and stuff buyers. Merle, Congards! They change the Grandbaby' arrival date to October 4th so you and I will both be on pins and needles at the same time.
http://www.bboopster.blogspot.com
3 Blue Star Mother and Proud of it!
Pray for our troops to come home safe and soon.
Enjoying the road to the simple life :>) |
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Family Matters: First Grand-baby on it's way |
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First Grand-baby on it's way
