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Here's to Your Health:  Sleeping in separate bedrooms...  |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 24 2008 : 08:45:05 AM
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This is what it is coming to with me and DH. He is up and down and restless ALL NIGHT...last night was the worst. He woke me up about 8-9 times. I am a very light sleeper and usually, I can fall back asleep once or twice, but after that, I struggle. Getting woken up so many times never lets me hit that deep, restorative sleep I so desparately need. DH got mad at me when I suggested we get another bed in the extra bedroom for me or him to sleep in. I love my husband but I cannot go on like this. In the morning, I am exhausted and days like today when it is my turn to get up with our son and he gets to sleep in, he will sleep all day and I am exhausted. He thinks I am being unreasonable but truly, I cannot take it anymore. It has nothing to do with how much I love him...actually I see it as if he loves me, he would do whatever it takes. I go to school full time, work part time and take care of our son 85% of the time along with the house. I cannot function like this. My health is in jeopardy here and I am starting to feel it.
HELP!!!
Sleepily,
Heather
FARMGIRL #90 |
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britchickny
True Blue Farmgirl
1048 Posts
Angie
Port Orange
Florida
1048 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2008 : 10:12:48 AM
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Heather, you would be amazed how many married couples sleep separately. It is just not talked about too much which is crazy. What's important is that you both get a good nights sleep so that you can both function. If that means separate bed-rooms...hey, so be it. It does not mean that your marriage is on the rocks or anything like that it just means that for right now( which could be days, weeks, months or years) this is your sleeping arrangement. My husband is a very light sleeper, I am a very deep and 'loud' sleeper. Not a good combination to say the least!
I used to worry about the 'implications' of the situation and while I still don't like it, this is how we both get a good nighs sleep for now. It has nothing to do with love, but everything to do with sleep!
Now, no more worrying about this okay!
Angie
"Mercy, peace and love be yours in abundance" JUDE 1:2 |
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jpbluesky
True Blue Farmgirl
6066 Posts
Jeannie
Florida
USA
6066 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2008 : 10:44:40 AM
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My sister has a bad back and she is up a lot at night too. Plus she has a sleep apnea machine. She has taken to sleeping on the couch because she can get most comfortable there. She and her hubby are very happily married.
Sleeping together in the same bed all the time has become synonymous with a happy marriage. But in her case, I know that is not true! I hope you get a good night's sleep soon! And that your hubby understands and helps with the problem.
Farmgirl Sister # 31
Psalm 51: 10-13 |
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sewgirlie
True Blue Farmgirl
1894 Posts
Sheryl-lyn
Calverton
NY
USA
1894 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2008 : 10:49:09 AM
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I have restless leg syndrome which means that I can sometimes kick my husband all night. Sometimes I will sleep on the couch and then we both sleep well. Maybe you could sleep in another room one or two nights a week. Then you will both get the sleep you need. MANY people sleep separately for the sake of a good night's rest.
My quilting and life blog!!
http://downtoearthliving.blogspot.com/ |
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Utahfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1940 Posts
Portland
Oregon
USA
1940 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2008 : 12:24:48 PM
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Stuie and I sleep in separate bedrooms for a host of medical reasons. There's nothing to say you can't have "visits"! I've been keeping him in my bed since he's been ill, tho. I want to be sure I'm there if he needs me.
Patricia
Proud Farmgirl Sister #19
Rusty Chicks Chapter
check out my etsy site http://ThePlayfulFarmgirl.etsy.com
Today I choose faith not fear. |
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ddmashayekhi
True Blue Farmgirl
4740 Posts
Dawn
Naperville
Illinois
USA
4740 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2008 : 7:44:07 PM
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Well, just imagine the thrill you'll both feel whenever one of your whispers, "Your place of mine?" Get your 8 hours in & enjoy your good night's sleep!
Dawn in IL |
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therusticcottage
True Blue Farmgirl
4439 Posts
Kay
Vancouver
WA
USA
4439 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2008 : 7:55:31 PM
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When my husband and I were together we slept in separate rooms. He has restless leg syndrome, I snore and after many miserable nights we said enough is enough. I think that getting a full night's rest is way more important than whether you sleep in the same room or not. It doesn't mean you have a bad marriage because you don't sleep together. Who made that rule anyway? I think it would be better for the marriage because you'd both be rested and happy - not tired and cranky.
The "visits" are the best part!!
Handmade Olive Oil Soap, Lotion Bars, and Prim Treasures http://therusticcottage.etsy.com
The Rustic Cottage Blog http://therusticcottage.blogspot.com
I'm A Rusty Chick!!!
PROUD FARMGIRL SISTER #100 |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2008 : 8:10:40 PM
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Thank you all for making me feel less weird about it. I think it makes us stronger too...especially when I am well rested because I am a...well....ahem....if I don't get sleep...especially eradict sleeping.. He just has too many ups and downs, restless leg, trips to the bathroom, spraying his nose medication and then blowing his nose, things for me to sleep with and through. The funny thing is, I could sleep with airplanes landing right over my head on the aircraft carriers I was stationed on but I can't take the littlest noise or disruption now. : )
Thanks!!
Cheers,
Heather
FARMGIRL #90 |
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britchickny
True Blue Farmgirl
1048 Posts
Angie
Port Orange
Florida
1048 Posts |
Posted - Feb 25 2008 : 03:13:41 AM
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Heather, that's interesting because my husband was in the air-force and the same thing, sleep through jets taking off etc but now...
Anyway, looks like we all figure out the sleep thing our own way!
Happy Dreams!
Angie.
"Mercy, peace and love be yours in abundance" JUDE 1:2 |
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nut4fabric
True Blue Farmgirl
885 Posts
Kathy
Morgan Hill
CA
USA
885 Posts |
Posted - Feb 25 2008 : 5:57:56 PM
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I can't get a good nights sleep with out my ear plugs. He snores and so do the dogs!!!
Kathy |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Feb 26 2008 : 10:01:47 AM
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I sympathize 100%!! My hubby talks in his sleep, which if i'm already awake is kind of humorous. But sometimes he gets acid reflux or a feeling of not being able to catch his breath. So he jumps up quick, sometimes he is cussing in his sleep then walks to the bathroom.
It's kind of scary and sometimes really anoying when he begs me to help him (still in his sleep)and starltes the ever living daylights out of me!
One night he jumped so hard, he ended up standing in the middle of the bed and banged his head on the ceiling fan. Funny now....pretty scary at the time I won't tell you what explatives spewed forth in that episode!
We haven't gotten to the separate bed issue yet, and hopefully it won't come to this |
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chicken necker
True Blue Farmgirl
509 Posts
Sherry
Eastern Shore
Maryland
USA
509 Posts |
Posted - Feb 26 2008 : 10:43:32 AM
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My story is just like Anna's. I gave up years ago and have slept separately ever since. The final straw was that he was having an "argument" on the "phone" in his sleep! He slammed the phone down on the "desk" which happened to be my head! After I clobbered him back with the pillow I moved to the couch! LOL
FarmGirl Sister #123
Crafty Bay FarmGirls Chapter
Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference. |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Feb 28 2008 : 05:32:39 AM
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Now that's funny!
Glad to know i'm not the only one who has to "defend" hersrlf in her sleep! I've gotten slammed in the middle of the back before. It's such a shock to be sleeping soundly, then to be awakened very suddenly!!
Ever since hubby elevated the head of the bed and got a more dense pillow, these episodes have become slighly fewer.
but hubby still has to watch what he eats later on into the evening.
Otherwise we can almost guarantee a jumping episode! |
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UrbanChick
True Blue Farmgirl
331 Posts
Ayako
Atlanta
GA
USA
331 Posts |
Posted - Mar 03 2008 : 9:01:23 PM
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My husband and I sleep in separate rooms as well. I'm glad we are not the only ones that have to do that to get a good nights sleep. He snores and I'm a light sleeper. I grind my teeth and I have a night guard I have to wear but he sometimes will wake up with my grinding so we just sleep in separate rooms. His snoring can get so bad sometimes I can hear it from the other room. If I have to sleep in the same room (guess come or we are at a hotel on vacation) then I wear ear plugs and it works out great. I can't wear them at home because I need to hear the alarm clock go off at 4:45am to get ready for work and get my daughter ready for school.
"Courage dosen't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying: I will try again tomorrow." |
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
Posted - Mar 03 2008 : 9:31:36 PM
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oh gurlfrenz .. if i didn't have honey hunk to snuggle close up to at night .. i would have a restless night .. i swanee .. if the man ever dies before me .. i'm gonna' have to get in that coffin with him! i truly understand if you can't get a good night's sleep next to another person .. you truly gotta' do what you need to do. i do believe i could sleep in a bed with all the grands piled ever-which-a-way! now SNORIN' gurlfrenz .. will send me into a hotel bathroom and into the TUB!
True Friends * Frannie
HEAR MY STORIES
come, visit my:
"GATHERING ROOM" ..
http://freedomvalleyfarm.blogspot.com
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http://sistermercysfoundlinhome.blogspot.com
treasures .. new and olde .. up for adoption:
http://mudpiemanormercantile.blogspot.com
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2008 : 06:36:04 AM
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Kathy!
I too have slept w/ ear plugs FOR YEARS!!
Funny, my dad is a safety consultant (Environmental Hygenist) and his speciality is hearing protection/acoustics in the work place, so when he goes to his noise course conventions, he loads up on ear plugs!
I started wearing ear plugs back in the late 80's. . I'm a notorious light sleeper anyway and would have to fight to stay asleep as a kid.
I discovered those ear plugs that are partially made of wax. I can practically drown out everything! When hubby jumps or talks in his sleep it still starltes me though. He too is a loud snorer. If I start to hear him I usually jam the ear plugs in a little further and shake him to make him turn over. Sometimes I have slept through the alarm clock, so its a good thing we set our clocks ahead by 15 minutes!
Sometimes if I startle, I can hear my own heart or breathing, but that's someting you eventually get used to. If my nose isn't plugged, it's all pretty quiet inside my head. |
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mima
True Blue Farmgirl
1573 Posts
1573 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2008 : 07:25:07 AM
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My husband snores soooo bad!! I have to knock myself out with a glass of wine before bed or I can't handle it!!!! If its really bad and keeping me up-I take our dog and go sleep in the other room!!!! Good luck!!!
"No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars,or sailed to an uncharted land or opened a new heaven to the human spirit." Helen Keller |
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theoanne
True Blue Farmgirl
282 Posts
teddie
CARROLLTON
GA
282 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2008 : 7:14:24 PM
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DH and I got married 4 yrs ago (2nd time for both) I sleep in the Master and he sleeps on the couch. We tried it together for awhile,but He was a bachelor for 10 yrs before me and the couch was his bed. Our biggest issue is the TV. He sleeps with it on and I don't! Also I snore. He has never complained about this,but I have woke myself up snoring so certainly It must bother him. Anyway, sleeping apart we both get a good night's sleep. We never really discussed this, it just kind of evolved. What's funny to me is that when we have overnight guests he always comes in and sleeps with me. I Guess he doesn't want them to think there are problems.:) We always cuddle and watch TV during the evening so we get our cuddling in. And then there are the visit nights.....What fun! As someone said " Your place or mine?" :)
TEDDIE
Too blessed to be stressed! |
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KYgurlsrbest
True Blue Farmgirl
4853 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4853 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2008 : 7:30:27 PM
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Justin sleep walks occasionally, snores occasionally, but honestly, I'd sleep through a tornado riding on a train coming right through our house, so I don't sweat it :)
I'm sorry you're having issues...my MIL and FIL sleep in separate bedrooms and have for years...dh thinks it's because his mom is so "cold", but I know it's because FIL snores :) After YEARS of listening to my mom yell all night, "Jim, roll OVER!, Jim TURN OVER!" Because he snored so loudly, I wonder why she never did.
Farmgirl Sister #80, thanks to a very special farmgirl from the Bluegrass..."She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian.
http://www.buyhandmade.org/ |
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Here's to Your Health: Sleeping in separate bedrooms... |
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Sleeping in separate bedrooms...
