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Parenting & Farm Kids:  Home Birth - Added Birth Story at the End!!!!  |
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tziporra
True Blue Farmgirl
234 Posts
Robin
Seattle
WA
USA
234 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 04 2008 : 09:57:47 AM
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Okay, I've changed my mind.
I birthed my first two babies in the hospital, and don't get me wrong -- it's an AMAZING hospital. They are totally committed to natural birth, have a lower c-section rate than anywhere in the country. I was never offered an epidural, the birthing suites are wonderful, the nurses are the best, etc., etc., etc. But I don't wanna go back. I can't handle the 14 minute car ride to the hospital (I know, I'm a WUSS). I don't want to have to arrange care for my children. I don't want the constant "when do we go to the hospital" question to be an issue. I just want to give birth in my ENORMOUS guest room in my basement.
Now. How do I convince my husband? He's dead set against it. I want him to read this book I've got (A Wise Birth, by Penny Armstrong with an amazing scientific argument why it's better to give birth at home) but he's in graduate school and works 60 hour weeks and hasn't got time to breathe let alone read anything. I need a succinct, compelling argument.
Ideas?
Thanks SO much,
Robin |
Edited by - tziporra on Jun 01 2008 5:59:48 PM |
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Tina Michelle
True Blue Farmgirl
6948 Posts
Tina
sunshine state
FL
USA
6948 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2008 : 10:15:44 AM
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have you ever had any difficulties during the pregnancy..such as high blood pressure or preeclampsia..or anything that would cause a concern? if not I think it's worth giving a try but with a definite back up plan in case things get exciting. Good Luck to you.
~Seize the Day! Live, Love, Laugh~
visit me at:
http://gardengoose.blogspot.com/
and at www.stliving.net
you can also check out my etsy shops at:http://GardenGooseGifts.etsy.com |
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Firemama
True Blue Farmgirl
1731 Posts
Amanda
Medical Lake
WA
USA
1731 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2008 : 10:29:59 AM
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This is copied from another group I belong to
Though you all might enjoy and also some of you might be very suprized!
(Please add to the list if you can think of anymore)
Just For Fun...
CINDY CRAWFORD (x2)
PAMELA ANDERSON (x2 home waterbirths)
DEMI MOORE (all 3 at home)
NELLIE FURTADO
LAURA DERN & BEN HARPER
WOODY HARRELLSON'S WIFE
JOANNE WHALEY & VAL KILMER
KELLY PRESTON & JOHN TRAVOLTA
PATRICIA ARQUETTE
JOHNNY COLT'S WIFE (of the Black Crowes, as well as 2 other band member's wives!)
LISA BONET & LENNY KRAVITZ
MICHAEL LANDON'S WIFE
JADE JAGGER (MICK'S DAUGHTER)
ASIA CARRERA (unassisted - 6 weeks after husband died)
SHERILYN FENN
MARE WINNINGHAM
CAROLE KING
RICKI LAKE (waterbirth)
TABITHA & STEPHEN KING
"Xena" - LUCY LAWLESS (waterbirth)
LIBERTY PHOENIX (RIVER PHOENIX' SISTER)
KENNY LOGGINS' WIFE
JOHN LEGUIZIAMO'S WIFE
THANDIE NEWTON
ERYKAH BADU
JULIANNE MOORE
MERYL STREEP
KENNY ROGER'S WIFE
RICHARD THOMAS' PARTNER
BOBBY MCFERRIN'S PARTNER
ENRICO COLONTINI'S WIFE ("JUST SHOOT ME")
TYNE DALEY'S DAUGHTER
TANIA JOY GIBSON (Miss Illinois)
KATHLEEN KENNEDY TOWNSEND
BOBBY KENNEDY'S DAUGHTER
LINDSEY WAGNER (The Bionic Woman)
CYNTHIA GEARY (Northern Exposure)
RICHARD THOMAS' WIFE
DAVID SOUL'S WIFE
ELLIE & JOHN SCHNIEDER (DUKES of HAZARD)
"PAULINE" (Another World)
TRACY REINER (Rob Reiner & Penny Marshall's Daughter)
FELICITY HUFFMAN
DAVINA MCMCALL (Big Brother)
CHARLOTTE CHURCH
JEMMA REDGRAVE
STELLA TENNANT
CARRIE ANN MOSS
MORGAN SPURLOCK'S WIFE
MIHAI BAGIU (US Olympic Gymnast)
LYNN JOHNSTON (For Better or Worse Creator - and main character Elly as well)
DAVID FOLEY'S WIFE
GIL BELLOW'S WIFE (Ally McBeal)
Every single King & Queen of England
I havent had ahome birth,but would love to.Good luck convinvcing DH
Mama to 2
I am who I am
FarmGirl# 20
http://myfarmdreams.blogspot.com/
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Rebekka Mae
True Blue Farmgirl
965 Posts
Rebekka
Moscow
ID
USA
965 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2008 : 10:41:34 AM
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The thing that won my hubby over was meeting my midwife and seeing how much more competent she was than any doctor. He certainly did not have time for books and I was nervous about convincing him myself...a half hour with her really had him totally engaged and on board. It was a real eye opener for him, that and being an EMT and seeing for himself that walking into a hospital carries it's own set of risks. Plus, Seattle is one of the best cities in the country to have a home birth- you have so many incredible midwives to choose from.
Good Luck! Rebekka
www.bebebella.etsy.com
As a woman I have no country. As a woman, my country is the whole world.
Virginia Woolf |
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GaiasRose
True Blue Farmgirl
2552 Posts
Tasha-Rose
St. Paul
Minnesota
2552 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2008 : 12:40:16 PM
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We birth unassisted. It helps that I have midwifery knowledge as does Rob, but that wasn't the motivator. The motivator was that my body knows how to do this. I trust my body and my husband does as well. I think you should take a peek on MOthering.com's message boards for good good advice about talking him into it...ultimately it should be what YOU as the birthing mother is most comfortable with, and if he is your true partner, not leader, he will understand that.
I have an acquaintance who didn't tell her DH that she was in labor. They ran out of time to go to the hospital and he caught the babe. Afterward he really wondered why he made such a fuss over such a normal function.
Some books I recommend are:
Unassisted Childbirth by Laura Shanley (regardless if you birth alone or with a midwife)
Childbirth Without Fear by Grantly Dick-Read
Active Childbirth by Janet Balaskas
A Good Birth, A Safe Birth by Korte and Scaer
those are just a start....
if your DH would like a DH to ask questions about his role in homebirth and the safety of it (proven safer than hospitals for healthy women) let me know via PM and I can give you our number.
Men worry because they love us and want to protect us, but if they trust us, they will trust our bodies and the innate knowledge and ability that our bodies have for this process...
I could go on and on, but I wont.
[size=1]
~*~Brightest Blessings~*~
Tasha-Rose
Farmgirl Sister #88
Blogs: http://gaiarose.wordpress.com
http://womonandsprout.wordpress.com
http://youtube.com/profile?user=GaiasRose
Homepage:
http://ForestFaeries.etsy.com
"Joyful chaos, working in tune with the seasons, telling itme by the sun, variety, change and self-direction; all this wwas replaced with a brutal, standardized work culture, the effects of which we are still suffering from today." - Tom Hodgkinson in 'How To Be Idle' |
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Marybeth
True Blue Farmgirl
6418 Posts
Mary Beth
Stanwood
Wa 98292
USA
6418 Posts |
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Rebekka Mae
True Blue Farmgirl
965 Posts
Rebekka
Moscow
ID
USA
965 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2008 : 1:57:38 PM
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I should say that I, like Tasha, had an unassisted birth at home and it was AWESOME! We had a midwife but she did not arrive in time since Jack came so fast and so it was just our little family and my doula, perfect. Everything was so much easier than the hospital birth both emotionally and physically. I am really blessed but I know it was the result of MUCH positive visualization on my part and honest to goodness trust in my own body and my baby.
Rebekka
www.bebebella.etsy.com
As a woman I have no country. As a woman, my country is the whole world.
Virginia Woolf |
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herbquilter
True Blue Farmgirl
891 Posts
Kristine
Bonney Lake
Wa
USA
891 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2008 : 2:50:48 PM
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Amanda,
Thanks for the list. That's so cool.
I had my last baby at a homebirth. One of my most awesome experiences!!!
Women today, have more babies at home than in the hospital. Amazing that we call a normal thing, like homebirth, alternative?
Birthing Blessings!!!!
Blessings,
Kristine ~ Mother of Many & Herbalist
www.herbalmomma.com
Farmgirl Sister #97
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GaiasRose
True Blue Farmgirl
2552 Posts
Tasha-Rose
St. Paul
Minnesota
2552 Posts |
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mima
True Blue Farmgirl
1573 Posts
1573 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2008 : 8:47:22 PM
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AND I wanted to add my daughters name- Michelle- to the list of amazing woman who have had
had homebirths!!!
And thanks to her beautiful awesome midwife Karni from Ventura!!!!We are looking forward to the next one in May!!!
"No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars,or sailed to an uncharted land or opened a new heaven to the human spirit." Helen Keller |
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tziporra
True Blue Farmgirl
234 Posts
Robin
Seattle
WA
USA
234 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2008 : 9:34:33 PM
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Thanks everyone for the encouragement!
I haven't ever had any of the "big" pregnancy complications - diabetes, hemmorage, etc. I have been given the post-partum pitocin shot after each of my previous babies, because of a "boggy" uterus that refused to contract back down, but as I understand it, a homebirth midwife can administer that as well as anyone else.
Other than that my births were totally routine, no pain medication, no induction, nothing that I need a hospital for.
After I kept having a recurring fantasy while visualizing labor where I just refused to get in the car, I decided I better start listening to myself NOW instead of then when "refusing to get in the car" would mean my husband would be catching the baby ;)
Anyway, I set up an appointment with the home birth midwife for Wednesday, so she'll be able to tell me one way or the other whether I am a candidate for birth at home in the first place. And I found a couple of guys in our community for my husband to talk to (I'm an Orthodox Jew and a surprising number of women in my community have babies at home) -- men I know he respects. So hopefully that'll have some sway. Thanks to Tasha for planting the talk-to-other-men-who've-been-through-it idea!
I'm due in May too, as are lots of ladies on this board! May is baby month :)
Best,
Robin |
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GaiasRose
True Blue Farmgirl
2552 Posts
Tasha-Rose
St. Paul
Minnesota
2552 Posts |
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tziporra
True Blue Farmgirl
234 Posts
Robin
Seattle
WA
USA
234 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2008 : 10:57:04 AM
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Tasha,
I've heard this - I also know that if I wasn't in the hospital the midwife would be more likely to work on massage and other natural solutions for a while rather than skipping right to the intervention. So there are lots of options, and it doesn't seem like it's going to be a showstopper. Yet another reason to skip the hospital; one of my otherwise wonderful midwives (admittedly, someone I hadn't met before) tried to talk me into accepting a "lock" upon admission to the hospital this time due to the boggy uterus problems I've had in the past. I tried to be very clear that it was fine to put in an IV if it was actually necessary, but since the pitocin shot had worked fine in the past I didn't see suffering through labor with a tube in my wrist. She didn't seem to be backing down - frustratingly, this woman had just had her first child AT HOME, so she didn't have to have these kinds of conversations.
I'm not opposed to the pitocin shot, and my husband will be much more comfortable if it's there - and why make him any more freaked out than he already is? But it seems like anyone can stick me in the leg with a horse needle, I don't need to be in the hospital for it, even if it turns out to be needed.
I think he's coming around, BTW. He asked for a chance to sleep on it, but talked about it like a done deal. I really am sorry to take him out of his comfort zone like this, and of course his discomfort with the situation will not make my labor any easier :( It's so frustrating that the place that makes him feel the most comfortable makes me wildly uncomfortable. Again, my hospital is wonderful, but it's still a hospital - and it's purpose is medical care, not comfort.
Best,
Robin |
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GaiasRose
True Blue Farmgirl
2552 Posts
Tasha-Rose
St. Paul
Minnesota
2552 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2008 : 11:48:01 AM
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Robin, My only concerns regarding a pit shot is that it can inhibit milk coming in sooner and can hamper your breastfeeding relationship with the babe. There are a lot of side effects to pitocin that are not generally discussed. I just get concerned over birth issues, that's all...please know that :)
Good to hear he is at least thinking about it instead of dismissing it outright. YAY!
[size=1]
~*~Brightest Blessings~*~
Tasha-Rose
Farmgirl Sister #88
Blogs: http://gaiarose.wordpress.com
http://womonandsprout.wordpress.com
http://youtube.com/profile?user=GaiasRose
Homepage:
http://ForestFaeries.etsy.com
"Joyful chaos, working in tune with the seasons, telling itme by the sun, variety, change and self-direction; all this wwas replaced with a brutal, standardized work culture, the effects of which we are still suffering from today." - Tom Hodgkinson in 'How To Be Idle' |
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tziporra
True Blue Farmgirl
234 Posts
Robin
Seattle
WA
USA
234 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2008 : 6:24:10 PM
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Tasha,
I hadn't heard this! I'm a pretty hardcore breastfeeder, and although my first baby wouldn't latch for FIVE WEEKS I've managed what most people would consider lengthy nursing with both my children (my second weaned himself when I got pregnant with this baby and it broke my heart!). I'll definitely reconsider the automatic pitocin shot!!! It's interesting because this midwifery group I'll be seeing tomorrow tried to give a close friend of mine a pitocin shot after her last baby even though there was absolutely no evidence she needed it at all... just because it was there, basically. That it has side effects they didn't mention worries me a little. Maybe I'll interview around...
I'm pleased to get this kind of information, which wouldn't be available to me if there weren't women "concerned about birth issues" out there like you! I appreciate it deeply.
Thanks so much,
Robin |
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ArmyWifey
True Blue Farmgirl
712 Posts
Holly
Abilene
KS
712 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2008 : 05:30:31 AM
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Can I add my name to th elist? 
We had our 4th at home and it was worth every penny!If you are a beleiver the most important thing is to ask the Lord which way He would have you go and to get your husband's heart in line with that while you continue to research/plan for both options, be willing to go hubby's way.
The Birth Book by Dr. Sears is another good reference, meeting with my midwife and knowing friends who had had homebirths really helped hubby to relax --- he was definetly more involved in the birth at home than at the hospital.
Blessings!
Holly
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!
http://timsarmywifey.blogspot.com
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tziporra
True Blue Farmgirl
234 Posts
Robin
Seattle
WA
USA
234 Posts |
Posted - Feb 10 2008 : 11:49:27 AM
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My husband has been talking to men in our community who have attended their wives' home births, and those discussions (from a male point of view) have been immensely helpful to him. One guy told him that having a baby at home made him realize that birth wasn't a medical event, in most cases, and that it wasn't such a big deal.
"Of course," my husband added with a smirk, "it wasn't HIM having the baby."
And he listened to me discuss the plan with a friend who is opposed to home birth, which also relaxed him a lot - since I sound well prepared and educated. TIP: It's much easier to have an argument with someone you aren't so emotionally involved with, since it's less likely to become about the relationship but only about the controversy itself. My husband even chimed in with arguments in favor of home birth at the end!
We are very fortunate that our insurance covers home birth completely, so there will only be a few extra expenses -- such as if we decide to rent a tub. I had planned for some extra help with the children afterward no matter which route we went (since my mother is unable to come help us this time), so that expense has already been figured into our budget.
I'm still too much a chicken to tell anyone else in our family about our plan though! Just because I can win an argument with a fairly open-minded, emotionally uninvolved friend does not mean I want to go at it hammer-and-tongs with my Mother-in-law thank you very much! I figure they can find out after it's a done deal.
Best,
Robin
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Love-in-a-Mist
True Blue Farmgirl
367 Posts
Shannon
Independence
Oregon
USA
367 Posts |
Posted - Feb 12 2008 : 09:45:16 AM
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After reading Tasha's story, I felt compelled to share this picture of me holding my first baby for the first time.
See the red mark on his face, that's from being pulled out. I tore so bad I had to have a c-section after him. At the time I didn't know any better and I was so scared I fought with my body the whole time, mostly due to the pain of petocin. Now that I know so much more, if the doctor wasn't so invasive I believe I could of had him with no problems. I didn't have any nursing help with him either and failed at that. At least with my second baby I got to nurse her exclusively, but only because I researched and researched and knew to ask for help from the beginning.
I went to all the hospital classes and read books and felt like I was prepared for my first. Somehow the classes miss the most important parts of birth.
http://diaryofafarmerswife.blogspot.com/ |
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Lizabeth
True Blue Farmgirl
560 Posts
Washington
560 Posts |
Posted - Feb 12 2008 : 2:33:21 PM
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| I must say to everyone, good job remaining objective with this discussion. |
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tziporra
True Blue Farmgirl
234 Posts
Robin
Seattle
WA
USA
234 Posts |
Posted - Feb 12 2008 : 5:32:21 PM
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I did the big break today!!! I called the hospital midwifery group and told them I would be having a home birth, and thanks so much for all their great care. They were incredibly supportive, and wished me all the best. I also called my doula and told her my change in plans. She said she thinks I am a great candidate for home birth, given my two unmedicated intervention free babies (from her lips to Lord's ears!).
I agree that the classes have some big shortcomings.... we went to a class with our first, and it was very pro-natural-birth-low-intervention oriented. So I felt well-prepared for the birth, but completely unprepared when my daughter refused to latch for FIVE WEEKS, a situation which necessitated endless trips to the lactation consultant, and the rental of the hospital breast pump. It was exhausting, and I was taken completely unaware that there were babies that even had problems like that, the only breastfeeding complication mentioned was sore nipples.
I think they have to balance between terrifying people and making sure they have all the information they need. But I'm not sure the "class" model is really the most ideal way to transmit this kind of information in the first place. Maybe childbirth is better learned through mentoring and community than in a classroom? In which case, money spent on childbirth classes would be far better invested with a childbirth/postpartum doula!
Best,
Robin
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shawna
True Blue Farmgirl
241 Posts
missouri (north)
241 Posts |
Posted - Feb 12 2008 : 8:57:46 PM
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i just had to cut in on this topic. i had my 4 baby 5 mths. ago, at home in the water, with loved ones all around. if the Lord blesses me with another baby we would pray for another safe homebirth! my first 3 births were at the hospital and also vert special, but painful! because of the "hurry, hurry" feeling i had pt. drip with all! very painful. we did everythinng without pain med. so pretty natural, unti baby is born! that was another great thing about being at home. no bright lights and cold beds. i held my baby for 10-15 min. before anyone messed with him. i really liked that. and nobody telling us how many people could be there! my oldest got to see her brother come into this world, and everytime she looks extra long at him i see that moment all over again! we thank God for the blessing and glad we were open to doing it His way! i hope your experience is great!
GOD Bless America! Stand up and fight for your FREEDOMS!!! freedomtofascism.com |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Feb 12 2008 : 9:10:36 PM
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I think you all are so strong and great. I really respect women who give birth at home.
My personal choice is to go ahead and go the hospital route. I might be a bit afraid, and as Tasha would say, I should trust my body and trust birth. However, as much as I trust my body and trust birth, my family has a history of pregnancy complications. Two of my older sisters almost died giving birth due to pre-eclampsia and we almost lost the babies as well. My other sister had a baby whose umbilical cord was too short to be delivered.
During my labor, Nora's heart rate dropped dangerously slow. My nurses were great in monitoring me and gave Nora plenty of time to recover. A tiny shot of Epi into my IV brought her heart rate back up until she stabilized. I also had some issues with my liver functions pre-pregnancy and I felt safer being monitored at all times.
When we plan on having another baby, I plan on having it in the hospital, but only one that is birth-friendly. Our local hospital encourages the use of Doulas and midwifes and will let you water birth, or have your midwife deliver too if you want. They just have a doctor on call in case the doctor is needed. I think for our second one, I will see if a midwife who is trained in fetal monitoring will work with me, that way I could have the best of both worlds, being at the hospital incase of emergency, but still having a doula and midwife.
Like I said before, I think homebirth is an amazing thing and I really respect women who go that route. Isn't it great that we have options in this day and age, and that birthing is no longer a scarey ordeal that women need fear?
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
Please come visit Nora and I our our new blog:
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com |
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yasmine
True Blue Farmgirl
173 Posts
yasmine
wappingers falls
ny
USA
173 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2008 : 09:05:31 AM
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i had all 5 of our babies at home, kind of a neat feeling, having done that, but God is our strength. We have a midwife, competant , in my opinion, and I would not do it any other way. If God allows me to have another, I hope and pray I can have the baby at home again. Im 31, so Im getting older and therefore,with age, I hope that God lets me have another at home again instead of the hospital.
Believe it or not, although there is a time for medical intervention, it would personally be horrible for me to have to go to a hospital for a birth unless it was to save the life of our baby. I am truly thankful God has allowed my births to go well and I avoided the hospital. I do not appreciate them wisking the baby to immunize and pour stuff in her eyes, prick her heel,.. and so on.
If I ever have to birth in the hospital, I pray the God would protect me and especially , and the most importantly, my unborn baby. I feel as though I would need even more protection there!
I presented my husband with the facts at the beginning and gave him the pros and cons, he was happy with our decision.
BUT he is not a what-if kind of person . If you are or you husband is the kind that what-ifs all the time , mabey hombirth isnt the best for that type of person! |
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tziporra
True Blue Farmgirl
234 Posts
Robin
Seattle
WA
USA
234 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2008 : 3:35:53 PM
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Hey! 31 is not "older"! :D
I'm 31!!!!
I think the risks that increase as you get older are those to do with the baby, not necessarily with childbirth itself. At least in my community, women generally have babies into their early forties (at home!).
But I read The Wise Birth and that mentioned that the midwife didn't take Amish clients who had ten children, but not why. Anyone know?
Best,
Robin |
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yasmine
True Blue Farmgirl
173 Posts
yasmine
wappingers falls
ny
USA
173 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2008 : 06:29:34 AM
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sorry robin ! I guess thats my mom talking! she is getting worried for me after these 5 were born!
Not sure about that Amish question...
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tziporra
True Blue Farmgirl
234 Posts
Robin
Seattle
WA
USA
234 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2008 : 08:53:03 AM
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Pish!
(can you tell I need work on the fifth commandment?)
Mom's are great, don't get me wrong. But my mother doesn't understand the large family thing AT ALL. She thinks only uneducated women with no access to birth control would ever have more than two kids, so I have to take everything she says with regards to pregnancy and childbirth with a heaping dose of salt. In addition, her pregnancies were heavily medically interventive, so she doesn't quite get the natural childbirth thing either.
I want to honor my mother, so I just try to avoid having these conversations with her. Instead, I have older women in my community who share my values (large families are a blessing from the Lord, natural childbirth, etc.) who I really look to for mentoring. They are a blessing!
There are two ladies in my community who have ten children -- they both had home births for their last child, both were 39. So don't give up on your blessings quite yet (unless that is what you really want to do).
Best,
Robin |
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Parenting & Farm Kids: Home Birth - Added Birth Story at the End!!!! |
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Home Birth - Added Birth Story at the End!!!!
