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Parenting & Farm Kids:  Single Mom  |
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BarefootGoatGirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1495 Posts
Corrine
North Carolina
USA
1495 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 12 2008 : 6:13:23 PM
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Is there anyone else out there doing it alone? For all practicle purposes, I have been a single mom since my first child was born (hubby was military and far more interested in his career than family), but now there is no hope of things ever changing. I am alone and most likely always will be. Somedays are so overwhelming. Four against one is not really good odds. Weekends are so long and now that we had to leave the farm I am constantly looking for cheap ways to keep the kids intertained. Do you ever get use to being alone? Does lonely ever quit aching? Can I raise them alone and keep my sanity?
It sounds so good to hear myself laugh. --Rascal Flats, "No Reins" |
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2008 : 6:35:49 PM
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I have been there (with my two oldest boys) on my own with kids. It does get easier and less lonely for sure. You can do it!! If I can anyone can!! One of the best pieces of advice I can give you is to hang onto your girlfriends...it helps alot!
Jenny in Utah
Proud Farmgirl sister #24
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
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kissmekate
True Blue Farmgirl
890 Posts
Kate
Delano
Minnesota
890 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2008 : 10:23:09 PM
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I have been a single Mom for the better part of 17 years myself. There are days I am really lonely for adult (male) companionship-talking holding hands etc....
But, there are days I am glad I am single too.
It does get easier. Just hold firm to who you are, and let the kids know YOU are the boss and you will be fine.
Don't miss out on a blessing, just because it isn't packaged the way you expected. ~MaryJo Copeland |
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bboopster
True Blue Farmgirl
1140 Posts
Betty Jo
West Bend
Wisconsin
USA
1140 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2008 : 01:05:37 AM
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I was a single mom to 5 for 15 years. It is very hard and lonely but it does get better as time passes. Stand strong let them know who the parent is, expect them to help with household chores, to do well in school, get to know their friends, where they go and with who and get to know the parents too. Find a group or friends that you can share time with as a family and by yourself. You can do it!!! Never give up! God is there to help. 
http://www.bboopster.blogspot.com
3 Blue Star Mother and Proud of it!
Pray for our troops to come home safe and soon.
Enjoying the road to the simple life :>) |
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Beemoosie
True Blue Farmgirl
2077 Posts
Bonnie
New York
USA
2077 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2008 : 04:36:09 AM
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(((hugs))) Corrine! My humble suggestion is to seek out a mom's group of some sort, whether it be at a church or community center. There seem to be all different types now-a-days and the basic premise is that mom's get to gather for some adult time while the children have a bit of a play date.
I also suggest journaling to help cope with the feelings you are experiencing. It may sound unrealistic to have the time to journal with 4 children about, but even jotting down a few words is a great outlet.
~blessings
My soul magnifies the Lord, And my spirit rejoices in God my Savior. Luke 1:46,47
www.beequilting.blogspot.com
http://beemoosie-picture-diary.blogspot.com/ |
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ArmyWifey
True Blue Farmgirl
712 Posts
Holly
Abilene
KS
712 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2008 : 06:15:48 AM
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I agree with Beemoosie - while I'm not "truly" a single mom hubby is in the Army and there are some awful long stretches in there! Being involved in PWOC(women's group at chapel) has been a lifeline for me. Many mom's who are married to farmers, etc have done this type of thing as well during WWII, etc and can give you advice from the other side as well as just being a support when you need it. Bboopster is right too it's so easy to be lenient even when you shouldn't just because it takes so much energy! Take care of yourself with supplements, exercise (walk with them), sleep and diet. I know when I've done these things I feel better and am a better mom when hubby's gone! Don't despair for your future either... you never know who God will send your way!
Hugs,
Holly
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!
http://timsarmywifey.blogspot.com
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mommakatof2
True Blue Farmgirl
62 Posts
nieki
dalhart
texas
USA
62 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2008 : 08:07:34 AM
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I feel for you girl. I was a single mom for awhile. My 1st hubby left me when I was pregnant with our 2nd boy. It's hard, but just cause he walked out doesn't mean someone else won't walk in. I found me a good one now, she loves the boys like their his own. Don't give up, you'll still have your sanity at the end of the day. And someday I hope you'll find someone else. I'll keep you in my prayers. Good Luck!
Nieki |
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mommakatof2
True Blue Farmgirl
62 Posts
nieki
dalhart
texas
USA
62 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2008 : 08:09:46 AM
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Sorry, I mean He loves the boys like they are his. My fingers just get tied up sometimes when I type.
Nieki |
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BarefootGoatGirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1495 Posts
Corrine
North Carolina
USA
1495 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2008 : 08:19:00 AM
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You girls are great! I was feeling really crummy last night. George had hives (from stress, his paternal grandmother and i both do that) so we spent the whole day in a 2 bedroom apartment. Weekends tend to be lonely anyway. My bestfriend's phone is off (it's been off for 2 weeks) and I just felt forgotten. He's the only person who has ever totaly "got" me and since he's going through a divorce too we lean on each other a lot.
As for the social suggestions... I am trying to decide rather I want to join a divorcee or a singles connection group at church...there are pros and cons to each. The divorce group is more likely to be geared toward single parents, but the singles may be more upbeat. I was going to make a few calls to the leaders this week, but have had zero time. I did meet a single mom at the school and was going to get together with her this weekend before George got bumps (he's better now).
I knew I could count on you girls for support. If MJ did it, we all can. Sometime I just need to be reminded.
trina
It sounds so good to hear myself laugh. --Rascal Flats, "No Reins" |
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Lavendar fields dreamer
True Blue Farmgirl
1032 Posts
little monkeys mommy
washington
USA
1032 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2008 : 12:18:21 PM
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go for the relationship with the other single mom from school and things will look better, single parent or not we all have those bad days.
i have a few single parent girlfriends and can say they do better with friendships there. so i make sure i am there for support even if i live six hours away. my girlfriend really does appreciate it and can talk when she is having a bad day. oops sorry to ramble.
lavendar girl |
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Carol Sue
True Blue Farmgirl
4033 Posts
Carol Sue
Washingtonian
USA
4033 Posts |
Posted - Jan 14 2008 : 11:38:13 PM
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Trina,
You are an amazing mom and have done some of the hardest things a mom has to do. The advice above is great and lets you know you are not along on this journey.
Was a single mom for only 3 1/2 years, the biggest challenge was staying consistent. When I did life was so much better.
Remember to take those short moments by yourself, just to regroup and breath. I for one am proud of you for all that you have done for your kids in the last year.
Carol Sue
listening to the quiet moments
Farmgirl #39
www.Quitemoments.blogspot.com |
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Parenting & Farm Kids: Single Mom |
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Single Mom
