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Family Matters:  Have learned how to deal with the in-laws...  |
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goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl
1599 Posts
Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 14 2007 : 8:53:43 PM
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Ok, I'm feeling just pretty good right now! It seems the trick is to ignore them and go my merry way. 
We have been over to my inlaws home several times and I now notice how my MIL tries to steamroll anyone who gets in her way. Sort of a passive-aggressive thing. She also seems to have a bit of temper when she doesn't get her way. The whole family (except me of course) seems to tremble before her. Hubby and I were talking about her temper and he didn't defend her. Methinks he knows this stuff but just can't quite face it out loud...does that make sense??
I have also figgered out that my SIL (not the Barracuda one, but the 'nice' one) is not one you want to tell any personal stuff to. She repeats everything she hears, even while assuring you she won't tell a soul. I have plenty of stories to go about my SIL but have decided I may have to have a heart to heart with her about shutting her trap and then in the future, just not tell her anything sensitive.
Anywho, hubby had a big powwow (can't remember if I've told this yet) but the family wants to have a talk with me and straighten it all out. It will be a cold day before that happens. In other words, I'm sure they would dogpile on me and I'm not in the mood. I've been waiting to see if any one of them makes the first move towards me and so far we're about a month and counting and no move towards me. They are used to me doing all the work towards them.
It kind of gets me how hubby used to tell me that I should just give them time and they'll come around to me. Well, now, too late for that. I'll have to wait till doomsday! So now, it almost doesn't bother me. We go visit (I try to hang out at the barn as much as possible but do have to be mannerly and visit...) and I just skirt over the top, like a layer of ice on a pond while my MIL and step daughter are swimming below. I think it bothers them that it doesn't bother me anymore. They act like they don't know what to make of it, hubby's ex wives and girlfriends haven't acted like this (as far as I can tell).
So maybe that's the answer. I can tell you I sure feel better. I'm treating them more like anyone else in my life. I tried too hard before and I'm not a person who tries too hard with people anymore. I've learned my lesson.
I hope this doesn't sount too harsh but it's a relief!
Winona 
When you lose, don't lose the lesson!!
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Dec 14 2007 : 8:56:34 PM
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Good for you Winona!!! Be the bigger and better person.
Sounds alot like my family and a few months ago, I just realized we are not really a family and I stopped trying and stopped arguing and stopped CRYING for gosh sakes!! I can hold light conversations with them (weather, crafts, etc) and that is as far as it goes. As far as I am concerned, I am moving on and am so much happier. I hope you keep the light on you!!!!
Cheers,
Heather |
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Family Matters: Have learned how to deal with the in-laws... |
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Have learned how to deal with the in-laws...
