| Author |
Parenting & Farm Kids:  2-part question & rant  |
|
|
lovelady
True Blue Farmgirl
533 Posts
Toni
Indiana
USA
533 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 28 2007 : 09:48:29 AM
|
With my BIL's wedding this past weekend, my tiny family has been inundated with people questioning me about my kid and I am both annoyed and slightly concerned.
So, part 1 of my question...Why has it become a milestone in a child/parent development that you must leave your child overnight with someone else? A number of well-meaning people offered to keep Wyatt for me this weekend while the wedding festivities were going on so that I could "have a good time". Why would this be fun for me? Not having my little guy with me and wondering the entire time how he was? My SIL wanted all us bridesmaids to get a hotel room in Terre Haute the night before the wedding and I had a hard time explaining to her that I couldn't take my 9 month old to a hotel with 6 other women and a 3 year old and expect him to be well-rested and well-behaved the next day. She has no kids, so I can understand her ignorance. Then, my MIL offered to keep him so I could go. First, if anyone is gonna watch my child while I am away, it will be his dad. Second, I am not leaving my child for an entire night yet. Am I too protective?
Which leads me to question number 2...my little boy will be 10 months old in a few days and still wakes up 3-5 times a night. Every time I nurse him back to sleep. Should he still be doing this? I asked my dr at his last check-up and he basically told me to let him cry it out so that Wyatt would know he was not the boss. I don't like his logic, but am not completely opposed to the idea. However, I will not be doing this while living in my BIL's house, so that idea won't work for another month.
It really doesn't bother me that much to have Wyatt wake up at night, it seems to bother everyone else much more than myself. I just don't want there to be some problem that needs to be addressed so that he can sleep through the night. He typically goes to bed between 8 and 9 and is up between 6 and 7. He usually takes one 30-45 min. nap in the am and a longer nap in the afternoon. Any ideas?
Sorry for being so windy, but it has been on my mind for a few days. |
|
|
Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Nov 28 2007 : 09:55:18 AM
|
Okay....I don't like my own kids..who are all 10 and over..to spend the night anywhere else even now..so I can totally relate to you not wanting your baby somewhere else in someone else's care overnight yet. You are very smart!!! Unless you feel the need to "get away" I don't think you should! That isn't something that has to be the norm.
as for waking up at night...my boys slept through the night pretty young. At 9 months I would think 3 to 5 times a night is an awful lot. Have you tried giving him cereal (if it is in his diet) before bed..it helps them feel full and sleep longer in some cases. seems kinda mean to just let them cry...I don't know..if I had 9 months of no sleep I may be tempted..haha. Seriously..it sounds like you are doing a great job..don't let anyone tell you otherwise!!!
Jenny in Utah
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
 |
|
|
Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Nov 28 2007 : 10:21:03 AM
|
Nora just turned 8 months old and there is no way that I could leave her over night. The few times we have left her with a sitter has been just about torture. I finally found someone that will come to my house when I ask her and who Nora ADORES, but still- no overnights. I'm just not ready for that. So it doesn't suprise me that you aren't ready for that either.
As far as sleeping through the night-
Nora sleeps through the night, but sometimes she wakes up. Many times if I just give her pacificer back to her, she drifts right back to sleep. I also read that some babies cry out in the night, but they aren't really awake. So I usually wait to see if she is really serious about waking up. I also turn the baby monitor way down. Sometimes I hear her wake up and "play" (babble and coo) for a while and then she goes back to sleep. I usually ignore anything that isn't crying since I know she is safe.
Another thing you can try is buying a "Momma Bear" It has a sound sensitive monitor in it that activates a in-womb heartbeat recording. The sound of the in-womb heartbeat is very soothing and can help baby get back to sleep. The bear hears the baby cry, turns on the recording and runs for about 40 minutes. You can get these at pretty much any baby store and I know Wal-Mart has them.
Alee
The amazing one handed typist! One hand for typing, one hand to hold Nora!
|
|
|
|
Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Nov 28 2007 : 11:07:32 AM
|
What a great gift for a new baby that bear would be..I havn't heard of them before..wow!
Jenny in Utah
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
|
|
|
shawna
True Blue Farmgirl
241 Posts
missouri (north)
241 Posts |
Posted - Nov 28 2007 : 11:38:15 AM
|
you are doing fine! just remember you know what is best for your family. the closer you keep em the best you know what is going on with em. hang in with the sleeping, i know its hard. my second baby didn't sleep well until 12mths and 2 days! one night was bad and the next was good, so strange. (only a mth. later i got preg. again, so much for good sleeping!)
xoxo mommyread.spaces.live.com |
|
|
|
lovelady
True Blue Farmgirl
533 Posts
Toni
Indiana
USA
533 Posts |
Posted - Dec 04 2007 : 05:07:36 AM
|
Thanks for all the advice and encouragement, Farmgirls!
I really don't understand why he is such a poor sleeper. There was a time (maybe 2 weeks long) where he slept great (for him) and only woke up once or twice at night, but that was many moons ago...:(
He eats what I would call his "supper" at around 6:30 and that is usually a couple kinds of veggies or a veggie and fruit. But, he won't really eat much pureed food, he has to have little chunks so he can feed himself, so it is a little hard to judge how much actually makes it to his tummy. Then at 8:00 we start the bedtime process. When he was little I used to look forward to the days of cereal because everyone told me how much better he would sleep once he got real food. Apparently he didn't get that message. Do you think I should give him cereal at night, too? He doesn't seem to have a very big stomach because he will throw up if I nurse him too soon after he eats, and I really don't think he eats too much at one time. Of course, the only baby I have to compare him to is my cousin's Amazon boy who can eat me under the table!
My son will also not take a pacifier. When he was tiny we used one some, then only at church, and for the last 6 months he will throw it out if you even attempt it. I never thought I would wish my son would take a pacifier, but now I might.
I think part of our problem is that right now Wyatt's crib is right next to our bed, so he knows I am right there. I guess that is comforting in a way, but as soon as he starts to wake up, he stands up in the crib, so there is no settling back to sleep. I am sure my husband's snoring doesn't help matters, either.
We are buying a new house at the first of the year and Wyatt will have his own room there, so maybe that will help.
Thanks again, Ladies! |
|
|
|
Beemoosie
True Blue Farmgirl
2077 Posts
Bonnie
New York
USA
2077 Posts |
Posted - Dec 04 2007 : 05:34:03 AM
|
I agree whole-heartedly ladies. It seems to be common thinking that the sooner a new mom can "get out" on her own again the better. The "new woman" (in some cases) wants to have babies but keep her life to herself. In my humble opinion that shouldn't happen. When we have children, we should be willing to change and devote as much time as possilbe to nurturing our little ones.
Just my thoughts!
Happy day!
My soul magnifies the Lord, And my spirit rejoices in God my Savior. Luke 1:46,47
www.beequilting.blogspot.com
http://beemoosie-picture-diary.blogspot.com/ |
|
|
|
levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl
9362 Posts
Denise
Beavercreek
Ohio
USA
9362 Posts |
Posted - Dec 04 2007 : 06:53:33 AM
|
Here, here Bonnie. I totally agree. I know that when you have more than one little one it can become difficult but when my children were small my time was devoted to them. We scheduled around them. Some would say that is showing them who is boss but I never felt that way because as they got older and more children came along the older ones knew that things were worked around the baby's scheduled whoever the baby happened to be at the time. My daughter has a two year old and an almost ten month old. Neither or hers sleep through the night. I think it may be that they are waking each other up I'm not sure. But you do what you have to and make the best decisions you can.
"She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands."
www.torismimi.blogspot.com
www.torisgram.etsy.com |
|
|
|
ArmyWifey
True Blue Farmgirl
712 Posts
Holly
Abilene
KS
712 Posts |
Posted - Dec 04 2007 : 08:21:22 AM
|
No it is not unreasonable at all. It saddens me greatly when people say thing like this!
And nursing at night multiple times at 9 months is still reasonable - especially if he's hitting a growth spurt. I would highly recommend finding a La Leche Leaque in your area and talking to them rather than to your pediatrican who is obviously clueless.
Hugs!
Holly
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!
http://timsarmywifey.blogspot.com
|
|
|
|
Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Dec 04 2007 : 09:35:59 AM
|
One thing I might suggest if having the crib so close is a problem- could a port a crib or even his crib be moved to the living room? That way once he wakes up that first time and you get him back to sleep he could sleep out the rest of the night in his own "space"? I know that helped wonders with Nora (did I already mention that? Sorry if I did) Also, if Nora doesn't seem interested in nursing, but needs just that little extra to tip her over to sleep, I make her a banana milkshake with whole milk. Just take one ripe bannana, throw it into a blender with milk and blend until smooth. You will need a rapid flow nipple so the thicker milk can get through- that seems to help her sleep really well all night.
*hugs* Also one thing that Nora has taught me is to not fret about where they are at with teaching themselves how to sleep. As long as you are not forcing a situation that could make them have a hard time sleeping (like constantly being woken up by some outside stimulus) then they will eventually learn by themselves.
One day Nora just wouldn't nurse, didn't want to play alone or with me. I couldn't figure out what to do. So I finally put her in her crib with her pacifier, blanket and her momma bear and out she went. I couldn't believe it!! She had a four hour nap! And then she slept throught the night!
Sometimes I still have to help her to sleep, but most of the time now, she wants to be left alone! *hugs* You are a great mom and are doing a fantastic job!
Alee
The amazing one handed typist! One hand to keep Nora out of trouble! |
|
|
|
Peanut
True Blue Farmgirl
603 Posts
Jennifer
Waverly
Virginia
USA
603 Posts |
Posted - Dec 04 2007 : 11:40:33 AM
|
Toni,
I would be very comforted by the fact that so many people were offering to help with my baby. It doesn't seem like anyone was pushing you, but instead just offering their assistance (I could be wrong since I wasn't there). Was your baby's name on the wedding invitation? Maybe that's what prompted the offers.
Also, "Crying it out" doesn't really mean letting them cry until they fall asleep. It's a very gradual thing, starting in 5 minute increments.
"What is a farm but a mute gospel?"
Ralph Waldo Emerson |
|
|
|
Lavendar fields dreamer
True Blue Farmgirl
1032 Posts
little monkeys mommy
washington
USA
1032 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2007 : 03:11:01 AM
|
ok so a small suggestion if he happens to be waking up in the middle of the night because he is hungry have you tried to feed him cereal then and see if he sleeps longer. some kids just need a little food in the middle of the night to carry them thru. just a suggestion.
my kids spend the night at my parents house kinda often but they are five and seven and want to. they also spend the night at a friends every so often but i didnt let them go until i really knew the parents and felt good about it. so i never worry when they spend the night somewhere. its only with four different people though both sets of grandparents, my cousins and the one friend of theirs. this year the baby will be six months old and i will have someone watching him over night for my hubby and i to celebrate our tenth aniversary if it wasnt for that i think i would wait till at least eighteeen months.
lavendar girl |
|
|
|
farmgirlannie
Farmgirl in Training
24 Posts
Annie
Chehalis
Wa
USA
24 Posts |
Posted - Dec 08 2007 : 10:00:37 AM
|
One thing I have learned in the short time I've been a mamma (8 mos.) is that you have to go with your intuition and insticts, because everyone and thier brother thinks they know what you should do with your baby. You know best!
My personal decision when my baby started waking up during the night like that (and I know he wasn't hungry) was to let him be for short amounts of time. Sometimes he would fuss quietly, talk to himself, or cry. Eventually he started sleeping longer and longer. But if it really doesn't bother you, I wouldn't worry about it. |
|
|
|
sunshine
True Blue Farmgirl
4877 Posts
Wendy
Utah
USA
4877 Posts |
Posted - Dec 08 2007 : 10:07:35 AM
|
My kids woke up 3 yo 5 times at night till there where about 2 to 3 years old some kids are just that way. Mostly I think it is the mom though see my kids have a real lite sleeper me. The smallest sound would wake me and I would go check on them soon as they saw me they wanted me. When i moved there rooms farther away from my bedroom they and I all slept a lot better.
have a lovely day and may God bless you and keep you safe
my bloghttp://sunshinescreations.vintagethreads.com/
my web store http://vintagethreads.com/ |
|
|
|
jenbove
Moderator
320 Posts
Jennifer
Calico Rock
AR
USA
320 Posts |
Posted - Dec 08 2007 : 3:42:04 PM
|
Hi Toni,
I've got 3 kids - 7yrs, 5 yrs, and 16mos. None of them have ever spent the night at someone else's house - not even family. I know full well my hub and I are overprotective, but our kids are AWESOME (confirmed by anybody who's ever met them), so why would we do anything different till it feels right?
And, all of them slept with me & nursed till they were close to 2 years old (Sam still does). When Sam stirs in the night, he usually snuggles up to nurse, then he goes back to sleep, no problem. This method hasn't spoiled any of my kids. The thing I've learned is that you have to go with your gut - do what feels instinctively right to you despite what anybody else says. I don't mean that you should have a closed mind, just absorb information as it comes to you and react as you deem appropriate. Your instinct is worth more than all the scientific research in the world--and that's coming from a biologist 
Jen
Expedition Leader, MaryJanesOutpost
www.maryjanesoutpost.com
Farmgirl Sisterterhood Member # 9
The View From My Boots
www.bovesboots.blogspot.com |
|
|
|
PlumCreekMama
True Blue Farmgirl
730 Posts
Heather
Iowa
USA
730 Posts |
Posted - Dec 08 2007 : 10:15:28 PM
|
My 10 month old sleeps great at night, but my other son used to wake up in the night and sometimes still does and he is almost three. Most of the time just holding him for a couple minutes worked fine, or else giving a drink. Maybe you could try giving him a sippy cup of water. This is such a dry time of year. Or else sometimes a blanket would help. I know they say not to use blankets for babies so maybe you don't, but I used afghans with large holes, that way if it does get over their face somehow, they can still breathe, so you might try that. I don't think it has anything to do with being hungry. At that age, whether it be breastmilk or cereal for the last feeding, he should still be able to go quite a bit longer than he is. I would try a variety of other things first and only feed as a last resort. However, he's your baby, only you know what you are comfortable trying.
On the other topic, I understand what you mean about people wanting kids to stay over night. Especially mils! The only time my kids have stayed overnight with someone has been in an emergency. Tate stayed with my parents when I was in the hospital with a kidney stone and when I had Sullivan. And Sullivan stayed with my parents when Tate was in the hospital a few months ago. That was incredibly difficult, as Sullivan was only 6 months old, but they brought him to the hospital to visit. If it could have been avoided it would have. The only people to ever watch my kids is my parents, my parents-in-law, and my sister and brother-in-law. And even that has been very limited. Other than emergencies, my kids have been watched a grand total of three times! Twice for celebrating anniversaries and once to go to an amusement park. I get tired of people making me feel weird for not only being a sahm, but for not going out and getting babysitters or having them stay at people's houses. My mil tried to get us to let Tate stay overnight this past summer. I don't think a 2 1/2 year old is ready for that. Especially one that takes medication 3 times a day and could have seizures. I don't know if I'll ever really be ready! |
|
|
|
lovelady
True Blue Farmgirl
533 Posts
Toni
Indiana
USA
533 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2007 : 07:31:27 AM
|
You gals are all so sweet and supportive! My mind is always eased listening to your advice.
I know that everyone who offers to take Wyatt for me is only trying to help, but they just don't get it. I haven't met anyone around here who has a parenting philosophy close to my own. It helps that my best friend does, but she lives almost 3 hours away, so we don't get to support each other as much as we would like.
As far as our sleep issues, I have decided that if Wyatt could have a pillow-top, king size crib he would probably sleep like a champ ;). I have always had to put a smooth fleecy blanket on top of his sheet or else he wakes up when I put him down. And he moves around SO much that he bangs into the side of the crib and wakes up. Last night my husband fell asleep watching TV and I didn't wake him up, so for most of the night, Wyatt slept with me and with all the extra room (and no snoring) in bed, he could squirm around and slept much better.
Also, one of the comments that everyone who is around my son makes, is that he is such a happy and content baby. So we must be doing something right! :D Thanks for the affirmation, my friends! |
|
|
|
jenbove
Moderator
320 Posts
Jennifer
Calico Rock
AR
USA
320 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2007 : 08:20:16 AM
|
quote:
Also, one of the comments that everyone who is around my son makes, is that he is such a happy and content baby. So we must be doing something right!
YES!
Jen
Expedition Leader, MaryJanesOutpost
www.maryjanesoutpost.com
Farmgirl Sisterterhood Member # 9
The View From My Boots
www.bovesboots.blogspot.com |
|
|
|
Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2007 : 6:29:01 PM
|
Toni-
Nora likes to have room to toss and turn as well! Isn't that funny?
A friend told me that some places in Europe have floor cribs instead of American Style cribs. The babies can crawl in and out of them (think kind of like dog beds) Mabe you could put your son on a pad on the floor instead of in a crib? That way he could roll around to his content and not bump into things? The floor would just have to be 100% baby proofed. What do you think?
Alee
The amazing one handed typist! One hand to keep Nora out of trouble! |
|
|
|
lovelady
True Blue Farmgirl
533 Posts
Toni
Indiana
USA
533 Posts |
Posted - Dec 10 2007 : 05:09:41 AM
|
Alee~
I think that sounds like a plan! ;) Maybe when we get moved into our new house I'll try it. We have tons of blankets to try it with. Hey, maybe one of those cushy L.L. Bean dog beds for a massive dog. Hah, wouldn't my mom choke if I told her my son slept on a dog bed??? My MIL would think it was great, but I'll give her a stroke when I tell her about cloth diapers. Hah-Hah! Too much fun! |
|
|
|
Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Dec 10 2007 : 06:05:13 AM
|
Toni-
I think once Nora can walk we are going to do this as well too. We already lowered her crib as far as it will go just in case she falls out, but it still makes me nervous and everytime I go in to get her she has a red mark from bumping in to the bars. I have even had to wake her up to go to work with me and she is all mashed up against on side or another. Perhaps more space is what she needs too.
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
The amazing one handed typist! One hand to keep Nora out of trouble! |
|
|
| |
Parenting & Farm Kids: 2-part question & rant |
|
2-part question & rant
