| Author |
Across the Fence:  Double whammy  |
|
|
brightmeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
2045 Posts
Brenda
Lucas
Ohio
USA
2045 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 18 2007 : 4:50:59 PM
|
One of my husband's retirees just lost his wife last week. He's an older gentleman, a minister, and one of the nicest people you would ever want to meet. They had been married longer than I've been alive. She suddenly became ill and went into the hospital and was gone in just a few days.
My husband wanted to follow up with him and see how he was doing, so a few days after the funeral he volunteered to help him with the brakes on his 30-year-old Cadillac Fleetwood, which was in cherry condition. It only had 50,000 miles, and not any visible rust. They got the brakes fixed, then took it out for a test drive. They no sooner got around the first corner than a young girl driving a beat-up car plowed into his back end.
Even if she has insurance, which the police could not verify, he will probably never get enough payment on a 30-year-old car to fix it or to even put a down payment down on a newer car. He is old enough that his eyesight isn't that good anymore and he doesn't drive all that much, but when he did drive that Cadillac was how he went. I have no idea what he is going to do.
To top matters off, he says he is having trouble with the benefits people with his wife's life insurance. They are asking him for a contract number. He's been paying that life insurance for probably 40 years and he has no idea where the paperwork is. He seems kind of confused and overwhelmed with the paperwork.
I'd like to help him, but he has a lot of family in the area, so I don't want to intrude where someone closer would be more logical person to help him. It just seems so unfair that such a nice man would lose both his treasured wife and his car in a two-week span. And I guess I feel a little guilty because I reminded DH to call him and make arrangements to work on the car because I was worried about him- if the timing had been just a little different it would never have happened.
I've mentioned it to a few people at work, and they just kind of shrug their shoulders and change the subject. I don't know what I expect them to say or do, so I've dropped it -- but it's still bothering me a lot.
You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands - You shall be happy and it shall be well with you. -Psalm 128.2
Visit my blog at http://brightmeadowfarms.blogspot.com ,web site store at http://www.watkinsonline.com/fish or my homepage at http://home.earthlink.net/~brightmeadow |
|
|
Corinnelouise
True Blue Farmgirl
957 Posts
Corinne
France
957 Posts |
Posted - Sep 18 2007 : 8:48:50 PM
|
Brenda, you've been very nice to send your husband over to help your neighbourg. What happened after that, no one could know in advance. So please do not feel guilty. And what about asking him directly if he would like you to help ? Maybe nobody in his family can find the time to help right now, and he would welcome your kind gesture ? Please ask him directly, it is not intrusion, it is generosity of you giving a hand to somebody you care about. Listen to your heart.
Corinne |
 |
|
|
Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Sep 18 2007 : 11:27:28 PM
|
Brenda-
I think he would appreciate an offer of help. His family is having to deal with their grief right now and might not be organized enough to deal with the paperwork issues.
I normally am a very nice person, but seriously- How hard is it to search a computer database to see what fund his check goes into every month? Insurance companies really have my dander up lately. After the dust settles maybe you could write a letter to the insurance company letting them know how much you _don't_ appreciate their practices.
Maybe I have been spoiled by really good service with insurance agents. But shouldn't we all expect that? Especially at a time in our life when we are dealing with grief?
If nothing else, I am sure he will appreciate the offer and the shoulder to lean on.
It is really sad to hear about the Caddy- Hopefully he has uninsured motorist coverage. The company has to pay for the car to be repaired or total it out to the full blue book value. Maybe if he can't drive much anymore this could be a blessing in disguise. It's still sad to lose a beloved car!
*hugs!*
Alee
The amazing one handed typist! One hand for typing, one hand to hold Nora!
http://home.test-afl.tulix.com/aleeandnora/ |
|
|
|
Miss Bee Haven
True Blue Farmgirl
4331 Posts
Janice
Louisville/Irvington
Kentucky
USA
4331 Posts |
Posted - Sep 19 2007 : 05:48:04 AM
|
I agree with Alee and Corinne, Brenda. Just ask him if he wants or needs help dealing with things. I'm sure he's disoriented and confused now because his life has been turned upside down. Men have a much harder time dealing with the death of their spouse. My mom paid all the bills and dealt with all the paperwork about everything. My dad has no idea today, four years later, where some things are. He's still finding photos and old things that were put away.
"If you think you've got it nailed down, then what's all that around it?" - 'Brother Dave' Gardner |
|
|
|
Amie C.
True Blue Farmgirl
2099 Posts
Finger Lakes Region
NY
2099 Posts |
Posted - Sep 19 2007 : 06:43:25 AM
|
Brenda, try not to feel too bad about the timing of the car accident. It sounds like the collision was completely the other driver's fault, and there's no way you can plan for that. It's just the irony of the situation that makes it so hurtful.
It's very generous of you to want to help your friend, but I would suggest that you make contact with the rest of his family also. If they don't know you at all, it would be natural for them to be somewhat suspicious about you. For all they know, you might be taking advantage of their family member when he's vulnerable. And they may feel guilty or cut out if an outsider starts helping their dad/brother/uncle, etc. with personal things that they didn't even know needed doing. I know that my husband has some issues like this with his mom's care.
I do hope the poor man is able to get through this difficult time as easily as possible. Even if his family ends up taking care of the details, your kindness and support will be a comfort to him. |
|
|
|
Past Blessings
True Blue Farmgirl
1083 Posts
Brenda
Orchard Prairie
WA
USA
1083 Posts |
Posted - Sep 19 2007 : 07:25:22 AM
|
The poor man has certainly had enough on his plate lately. Regarding the insurance coverage, I would think his car would actually be considered a "classic" and so should hold significant value. There is special pricing for classics from blue book pricing. He needs to pursue having it declared a classic so he can get a fair value.
It is so sweet the extra effort you and your hubby are taking on him. You will be rewarded ten fold some day.
Hugs & blessings,
Brenda
Past Blessings . . . Celebrating Life as it used to be . . . when people loved God, loved their families and loved their country. |
|
|
| |
Across the Fence: Double whammy |
|
Double whammy
