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Across the Fence:  AAGGGH! Sister.... vent/help?  |
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ArmyWifey
True Blue Farmgirl
712 Posts
Holly
Abilene
KS
712 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 10 2007 : 2:42:07 PM
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So we are currently in AZ while we are waiting for our house in KS to close (all the inspections are this week. Hubby is still camping at Milford lake). Today we decided to give Granny and Papa a break and move to my sister's for a few days. We were all hungry and I called and asked her what the plan was for lunch, got there, NOTHING. so I asked again --- well then she gets all MAD at me because I was fussing because the food wasn't on the table. Then she was having a row with her daughter - my niece did need a better attitude -- but when I calmly and gently suggested maybe she overreacted well Lord you'd of thought I called her the worst mother in the entire world! And when my daughter asked her to stop yelling she said - well you and your sister fight, my dd replied no not really (they really fight very rarely!) OH MY GOSH! So now I think I'm the perfect mother with perfect children - which I have NEVER said!
I just don't know what to do... hubby said to go to a hotel for the night but we really can't afford to right now, and gas would cost quite a bit too. Everything I say is wrong or "criticism" (it's not)in her book... I don't ever tell her what she does right (frankly right now I don't WANT to! I know that's not a very Christian attitude but there it is).
She's always saying she wants more of a relationship and such, but then she does this. And she wonders why I don't talk to her?! I do beleive the Lord can heal even this and I was looking forward to spending some time with her this week but now I don't even want to stay at her house.
Thanks for the vent space, prayers and any advice!
Holly
ps-- I can not WAIT to get into our own home.
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!
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levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl
9329 Posts
Denise
Beavercreek
Ohio
USA
9329 Posts |
Posted - Sep 10 2007 : 5:17:00 PM
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Holly,
Just remember your strength comes from the Lord and if you keep your focus on Him you will get through this. Maybe you could find some way to encourage her. I'm sure she sees defects in her life and usualy when we have a problem with others it is because we struggle with something ourselves.
And remember that this too shall pass.
(((Hugs))) and prayers,
Denise
"The earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof and all that dwell therein."
www.torismimi.blogspot.com |
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Leezard
True Blue Farmgirl
950 Posts
Elizabeth
Novi
MI
USA
950 Posts |
Posted - Sep 10 2007 : 5:23:40 PM
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What a frustrating time for you! It's hard when the things we say get taken the wrong way and instead of the offended person speaking to you respectfully about the misunderstanding they blow up in your face. I've come to find that with certain people it's just better to keep my mouth shut unless something illegal or abusive is going on...frustrating but it just tends to work out better that way.
Maybe when you ask about something like lunch say something to the effect of "What can I do to help you with lunch?" or "Would you like me to prepare anything in particular for lunch today?". That will at least keep her from accusing you of not offering help and expecting her to do all the work...not that I think you were like that but sometimes a simple switch of words can change someone's attitude.
I wish you the best of luck with this situation. Feel free to vent again if you need to!
http://ruby--slippers.blogspot.com/
www.leezard.etsy.com |
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AFMom
True Blue Farmgirl
100 Posts
Erica
North Dakota
USA
100 Posts |
Posted - Sep 10 2007 : 6:03:38 PM
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| Hi Holly, Transistion is so tough! It is really hard to stay with relatives at any time. We are a military family as well, and have had to do and go through the same situations as yourself.....maybe you could also suggest that just the 2 of you go out to lunch...your treat if you can afford it. It sounds like she is overwhelmed and wants to do the right things, but gets stressed out and misreads comments. Assure her you meant no hidden meaning to your words and apologize for hurting her feelings and thank her for opening her home up to you and your children....shower her with kindness. Who knows, maybe she had an argument with her DH as well and is just totally frustrated. My Mom had a saying that we always hurt the ones we love the most...and in many ways this is true...spend some one on one time with her and talk...maybe that is all she needs to open up to you and you feel more comfortable...all you can do is try. Erica:) |
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paradiseplantation
True Blue Farmgirl
1277 Posts
julie
social springs community
Louisiana
USA
1277 Posts |
Posted - Sep 11 2007 : 08:15:22 AM
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Holly - wow. What a tough situation. I agree with AF Mom. Maybe just some quiet time with your sister might help smooth things over. Sounds like she's having a difficult time right now and is taking it out on you. Keep us posted on how things work out. In the meantime, I'll be praying for you!
from the hearts of paradise... |
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Firemama
True Blue Farmgirl
1731 Posts
Amanda
Medical Lake
WA
USA
1731 Posts |
Posted - Sep 11 2007 : 10:14:37 AM
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Just remember Holly you will soon be in your OWN HOME!!! Goodluck
Mommy to 2
Your FreckleFaced Farm Girl!!
Help when you can, Pray when you can't. |
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ArmyWifey
True Blue Farmgirl
712 Posts
Holly
Abilene
KS
712 Posts |
Posted - Sep 15 2007 : 10:34:16 AM
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So things we going well for a few days - but as soon as I say anthing about my nephews it's just crazy! I just don't know what to do. can't wait to get in our house - I guess I'm more used to my military family any more than my "own"!
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!
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Across the Fence: AAGGGH! Sister.... vent/help? |
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AAGGGH! Sister.... vent/help?
