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Across the Fence:  Some advice, please-re: volunteer work at VA  |
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KYgurlsrbest
True Blue Farmgirl
4853 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4853 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 19 2007 : 1:08:28 PM
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So, I've been volunteering for about 2 months at our VA nursing facility and hospital, visiting with the patients, talking, reading, just general company keeping. Initially, the social worker thought I would be a great fit with an elderly resident who is 84, a paranoid schizophreniz who also suffers with bi-polar disorder. He was a classicaly trained pianist, and still plays, but has no family, save a sister in San Francisco who is equally as old and doesn't travel much--because my background is in ballet, and I understand "creative" types, she thought it would work. He's dying of inoperable cancer, but they don't know what type because he won't let them take blood samples or something....So, I visited him the first time, and he ignored me--actually, he turned his back on me and proceeded to babble. I came back the next Tuesday and he turned his back on me again, and it seemed like my presence was doing more harm than good. Each Tuesday it has been like this, and I've consulted the social worker each time, advising her of his disposition. Turns out, he says I'm "too short", that he likes taller women (which made me laugh, but last time I checked, I wasn't there for his visual pleasure). So, his sister has made it into town, because she's been advised of his precarious health, and the social worker is INSISTENT that I meet with her to discuss "approach" with this gentleman, so that he WILL talk with me, and have someone to visit with. I have to be honest, I feel like I'm wasting my time--there are PLENTY of other vets to visit with there who don't have family. PLENTY. So, why push it? I mean, I do feel sorry for him and I'm sad that if he's lonely, he's too stubborn to admit it, but....this week, my family came in from Atlanta--they spend the whole week, and last night, I invited them for dinner. In the middle of the day, I received a phone call from the social worker, stating that she knew my family was in town, but if I could just come over for an hour or so and meet with this guy and his sister...I told her I couldn't. I had a LOT to do, so then she suggested this evening, and if not tonight, then Friday night. What I really want to say is: he isn't interested in talking to me. Not because I'm short, because he's kindof nuts, and there are plenty of folks around there who could use some conversation.
As a volunteer, what are MY rights?
"She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian. |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Jul 19 2007 : 5:08:37 PM
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Jonni-
I would sit down with the social worker and express your concerns. I think that if there was some way to break into his shell- it would be great to visit him, but you are right- If he doesn't want to spend time with you, I am sure there are others that do want to spend time with you.
Alee
The amazing one handed typist! One hand for typing, one hand to hold Nora! |
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Carol Sue
True Blue Farmgirl
4033 Posts
Carol Sue
Washingtonian
USA
4033 Posts |
Posted - Jul 19 2007 : 10:47:12 PM
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Hey my question is, their are professionals there and why are they putting pressure on you? You are a volunteer, there to support but not to fix. Sounds like they want a fix. What does your gut instinct say? Listen and then see where you are at.
Just my 2 cents worth.
Carol Sue
Enjoying the moments. |
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KYgurlsrbest
True Blue Farmgirl
4853 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4853 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2007 : 06:13:04 AM
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Carol Sue, that's exactly what I'm thinking. I'm no doctor, I'm not a therapist, I just wanted to hang with some old folks who don't any family. Talk about gardening, how stinky the Cincinnati Reds are, what they did in the service....
Also, when I started volunteering, I was asked to "report" my observations of the nursing staff--apparently, the volunteer program flounders a bit and the director wants to know why. She thinks it's the nursing staff, that they are unfriendly. I've never had anything OTHER than kindness from them. My guess is that they have done something VERY similar to my case, in that they expect more of their volunteers than they should. It has certainly dissuaded me this week, so I would gather that it would anyone else, too.
"She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian. |
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frannie
True Blue Farmgirl
2246 Posts
fran
bonham
texas
USA
2246 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2007 : 06:14:39 AM
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my dh is a employee at the local va, has been for almost 20 years. he works in infection control and fills in part time as the patient representative. also he is a veteran.
he says the social worker is wrong to put any pressure on you. you have the right as a volunteer to say whether you like the assignment or not...and the veteran has the patient right to say he does not want a volunteer to participate with him for whatever reason.
your instincts about this are right on and the social worker should be smart enough to know that she is wrong. not just on your behalf, but especially on behalf of the patient whose rights she is trained to protect.
i can understand how yall would seem to be agreat match, because of your ballet background and his music background, but because of the dual diagnosis i think it is clear that this is not a match.
when people have mental illness it doesnt mean they are stupid and they have rights. the social worker should understand this better than anyone. she needs to do the right thing and quit trying to be right. i hope they dont loose a good volunteer over this.
thats my 2 cents worth.
love
fran
(http://farmfolks-frannie.blogspot.com/) |
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KYgurlsrbest
True Blue Farmgirl
4853 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4853 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2007 : 06:28:03 AM
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Thanks, Frannie, and tell your husband "Thank you", as well. I very much appreciate the insight.
My former mother in law suffered from paranoid schizophrenia/bi polar disorder, so I'm not unfamiliar with this residents mental disorders, but--exactly--it doesn't mean that he's going to want to talk with me. I'm fairly perceptive and when I enter his room, he quite literally shuts down, and that's not good for him. I don't get my feelings hurt by any means, but I do feel like I'm banging my head against a wall, and maybe that wall is the social worker???? She's really kind, but now I actually have to go tomorrow (Saturday) and meet with this sister, because she really wouldn't give it up... I made a pact with myself that, I'll meet the sister, I'll listen, I'll give it the good ole boyscout try on Tuesday night, and if it's the same scenario, I'm going to tell the social worker "no more". I would hate to not volunteer there anymore, but when I started, I informed her that I just wanted to be a sounding board for an hour or so...one resident, I've listened to the same stories every Tuesday for 2 months. And that's TOTALLY alright with me. Now I feel like I'm part of an experiment or something.
"She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian. |
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frannie
True Blue Farmgirl
2246 Posts
fran
bonham
texas
USA
2246 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2007 : 07:17:50 AM
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i worked for 3 years as an occupational therapist at the va, thats where i met my dh, and the politics of the va is quite funny to me.
(it was 15 years ago so this info is pretty dated).
it is such a big system with so many chiefs that i think sometimes even a simple problem can become quite complex. just as an outsider based on what you have said i think there is a problem with retaining volunteers and maybe even a struggle between nursing and social work as to whose fault it is. i think you may be caught in the middle of that. i think it is good for you to go meet with the sister, if it is convenient for you. but i think everything you have said about why you think you need another assignment is right on.
my undergraduate degree is in music therapy and i have seen some wonderful things with the use of music and patients, but if they are determined to shut down they will. i think your read on this man is very accurate and he is letting the powers that be know that he is not interested in a volunteer. aside from the mental illness aspect of this, i think the fact that he has a potentially terminal illness is another factor. he has lived his life in a reclusive fashion, and that is his comfort zone. i dont think people should be forced to cope with life in a fashion that is uncomfortable to them just because they have a terminal illness, but often you see people who work with the terminally ill project their feelings and wishes onto them and that is not fair. stick to your guns and your gut instincts, i think you are a very intuitave woman and will make the right decision on this, not just try to prove that you are right.
love
fran
(http://farmfolks-frannie.blogspot.com/) |
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Across the Fence: Some advice, please-re: volunteer work at VA |
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Some advice, please-re: volunteer work at VA
