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Across the Fence:  A terrible shock and a sad day  |
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Utahfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1940 Posts
Portland
Oregon
USA
1940 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 16 2007 : 5:11:17 PM
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This morning I read in the paper that a woman I had been working with (counselling) committed suicide-by-cop late Saturday. The autopsy revealed she had actually died of two self-inflicted bullet wounds to her head, although the officers did hit her. This happened at her home after she called 911 saying she wanted to take her life.
This was a 39-year old lady who suffered from bi-polar disease and a difficult family life. She lived with her mother and step-father and the little dog that meant the world to her. She had been ill most of her life.
I have had tears in my eyes all day. I thought we were making progress. She had a kind heart and I liked her. As a minister, I feel that I did all I could, but I also feel a terrible sadness that I could not help her more. I wish she had called me first. A little piece of my heart is broken.
I would really appreciate it if you all would pray for her in your own way, surround her with love that she couldn't find here. Please also pray for her family, who went through so much with her, and her little dog who loved her.
I feel better talking with you about it. Thanks for being there.
Farmgirl hug,
Patricia
check out my etsy site http://ThePlayfulFarmgirl.etsy.com
Take me home, country roads |
Edited by - Utahfarmgirl on Jul 16 2007 5:12:00 PM |
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Woodswoman
True Blue Farmgirl
512 Posts
Jennifer
Altamont
NY
USA
512 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2007 : 5:26:52 PM
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I cannot begin to express how sorry I am to hear your sad, sad, news. My prayers will go out to that poor woman, her family, and her dog. I hope her family (and that includes her dog)are getting the help and support they need.
Take care of yourself.
Jennifer |
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queenofdreamsz4u
True Blue Farmgirl
3845 Posts
Stephanie Suzanne
Smoky Mountains Tennessee
USA
3845 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2007 : 5:34:20 PM
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Hey Patricia,
She is now at peace...My ex-husband is bi-polar and never would do anything for himself except self-destruct over and over again...it was terribly upsetting and exhausting to love someone more than they loved themselves. The happier I was the more distraught he became..
Until the point that he couldn't take my positive attitude anymore then after 23 years of marriage sought out a miserable human being to continue his misery with....
Don't mean to take the story to my story but to point out the desperate mental state that bi-polar folks live in and the lives they destroy or disrupt along the way including their own.
It is the sadest condition I have ever encountered personally and it can be treated...Some succeed but alot do not. It's very very sad.
I really feel for her family but I know after the shock wears off they will see that she is now finally at peace and they can rest easy.
I pray for her family to come to a peaceful place with all they have come through and for this lady to be resting in the arms of Jesus right now.
...til next time ~ queenofdreamsz
"hold close your inner child and always listen to the gentle whispers" ~queenofdreamsz
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nashbabe
True Blue Farmgirl
687 Posts
687 Posts |
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BarefootGoatGirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1495 Posts
Corrine
North Carolina
USA
1495 Posts |
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sewgirlie
True Blue Farmgirl
1894 Posts
Sheryl-lyn
Calverton
NY
USA
1894 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2007 : 6:02:56 PM
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Prayers coming your way!
Sheryl-lyn |
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gateway girl
True Blue Farmgirl
135 Posts
Shari
Missouri
USA
135 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2007 : 6:37:13 PM
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Patricia,
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend and I too pray that she is wrapped in the arms of Jesus and has finally found true joy. But Patricia, please don't beat yourself up with the "if only I had said this" or "if only I had done that." My first husband was bi-polar and for our 22 years of marriage we went through hell. Finally he gave up and killed himself while I was at work and talking to him on the phone. I went through the "what ifs" and finally God gave me the answer in my prayers. He told me that nothing I said or did would have made my husband happy or made a difference. He had it in his mind to take his life and nothing would have changed it. Actually he had tried 7 times prior to this and everytime I was able to get him to the hospital in time to save him, but his last time he used a hunting rifle and there was no saving him.
Please know that you being there with open arms for her when she did talk to you was exactly what she needed at that time to keep herself going. This time she just wanted Peace and no one could have stopped her. you are in my prayers. If you need someone to talk to please email me, I'm here for you.
Life is a chain of moments of enjoyment, it's not just about survival. Live every second to it's fullest!
Shari |
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2007 : 6:41:09 PM
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My prayers are with you Patricia! hugs-- Jessie
Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine; O What a foretaste of Glory DIVINE! |
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lamarguerite farm
True Blue Farmgirl
649 Posts
missy
Battle Ground
Wa
USA
649 Posts |
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cabinmoose
True Blue Farmgirl
218 Posts
Lorna
Forest Hill
MD
USA
218 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2007 : 7:13:58 PM
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Patricia,
We will keep this young lady and her family in our prayers.
My sister passed away at 26 years young and too was bi-polar. It will be 2 years next week and it seems like just yesterday. If there was a CityGirls Club, my sister would have been their president! She never got the Farmgirls way of life. She loved the excitement of the big city. It makes me smile to think about what her reaction would have been to the outdoor tents....
Blessings,
Lorna
Lorna Orick,
Forest Hill, MD |
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KYgurlsrbest
True Blue Farmgirl
4853 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4853 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2007 : 7:24:21 PM
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Patricia, I am so sorry. Of course you have tears--I do myself. It sounds like she was in more pain than she could even describe, and how terrible that she felt this was her only way out. Such a tragedy.
I am thinking of her family, and her lovely little dog, and of course, you, at this time. Heartbreaking.
"She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian. |
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2007 : 7:30:46 PM
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Oh Patricia...how devastating for everyone involved. I heard once that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. That is the first thing I thought of when I read your post. How sad. What a waste of a young life. I will keep you all in my prayers. You are such a big hearted person...take care of you too..I know you will hurt for awhile. ((((hugs)))))
Jenny in Utah
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
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Marybeth
True Blue Farmgirl
6418 Posts
Mary Beth
Stanwood
Wa 98292
USA
6418 Posts |
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Carol Sue
True Blue Farmgirl
4033 Posts
Carol Sue
Washingtonian
USA
4033 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2007 : 9:55:51 PM
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Patricia,
Peace to your heart and mind. You did all that was humanly possible, you cared and put your heart out there for her. It is what she needed and she knew that you loved her. You do have to remember that she was ill and you couldn't change that fact.
Stephanie, wow, the things that you have lived through,
as well as Shari and Lorna. Bless all 3 of you as well.
My cousin is bi-polar and it has been a major struggle for my aunt and uncle. She has a daughter and that helps her keep going when others things can't.
Praying for you Patricia, don't forget to grieve because you did care.
Carol Sue
Enjoying the moments. |
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shelle
True Blue Farmgirl
404 Posts
Shelle
oklahoma
USA
404 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2007 : 10:29:56 PM
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Patricia,
My heart goes out to her family and to you. God Bless you for trying to help her. I am sure that you did all you ir anyone could and take peace in knowing that it was somehow meant to be. At least she is no longer suffering in this life and I am know you have given her some peace with the Word of God.
(((Hugs)))
Shelle
http://janzenfamilyjournal.blogspot.com/ |
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Corinnelouise
True Blue Farmgirl
957 Posts
Corinne
France
957 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2007 : 10:49:53 PM
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Patricia, how sorry am I to hear that. Poor lady and poor you for feeling so hard. I am sure you did all that was in your power to help her at the time. We always feel we whished we would have done more, but you did the best on the moment. Please do not beat you up, it is just adding to your sorrow. I will have both of you in my thoughts.
Corinne |
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Shirlaroo
True Blue Farmgirl
297 Posts
Shirley
Australia
297 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2007 : 10:58:26 PM
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Patricia,
So sorry to hear your sad news. I will be thinking of you.
Farmgirl hug right back at you.
Shirley
Friends are the best collectables. |
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queenofdreamsz4u
True Blue Farmgirl
3845 Posts
Stephanie Suzanne
Smoky Mountains Tennessee
USA
3845 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2007 : 11:46:20 PM
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Shari,
Your story rings of my story..I was married for 23 years but fortunately (I guess) he gave in to the total mania and meaness and eventually found a woman just as mean as he is. He too tryed to kill himself 3 different times over the years and I was able to rescue him...I am soooo sorry you suffered through to the bitter end but that's what we do when we love someone.
Of course, with mine the love had long been lost due to his abusive treatment towards me. This is why I have such a zest for life today! I have had a ball and chain unlocked from me and the Lord lifted me out of the situation because He knew I couldn't do it on my own.
Father,
I ask for "all" people that are living with this mental disorder to be touched by Jesus and realize that this life is worth living and they are worthy of living and being happy productive people! I pray for the family and friends to remain strong especially in the worst of times knowing that your will and your ways will prevail. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
quote:
Originally posted by gateway girl
Patricia,
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend and I too pray that she is wrapped in the arms of Jesus and has finally found true joy. But Patricia, please don't beat yourself up with the "if only I had said this" or "if only I had done that." My first husband was bi-polar and for our 22 years of marriage we went through hell. Finally he gave up and killed himself while I was at work and talking to him on the phone. Life is a chain of moments of enjoyment, it's not just about survival. Live every second to it's fullest!
Shari
"hold close your inner child and always listen to the gentle whispers" ~queenofdreamsz
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mom2knk
True Blue Farmgirl
321 Posts
Blanche
So Cal
321 Posts |
Posted - Jul 17 2007 : 07:07:13 AM
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| I am so sorry Patricia! Sending many hugs and prayers!! |
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Luzy
True Blue Farmgirl
922 Posts
Luanne
Pueblo
Colorado
USA
922 Posts |
Posted - Jul 17 2007 : 07:58:36 AM
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Oh Patricia, I'm so sorry to hear of your news. You are such a loving and caring person, I'm sure this is extremely difficult for you. Your friend was so lucky to have you and please take comfort in knowing that you did everything humanly possible to reach her. You hang in there and take care of YOU! You all will be in my thoughts and prayers as well as her little dog. Love and hugs, Lu
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May I always be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
http://luzy.etsy.com- My etsy store! |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22944 Posts
22944 Posts |
Posted - Jul 17 2007 : 08:36:37 AM
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Patricia! I am so very sorry to hear your news. It is always so shocking and hurtful when things like this happen. I am sure you were a blessing in her life. I hope that you and your community can lean on each other during this sad time. You will be in my thoughts!
Hugs!
Alee
The amazing one handed typist! One hand for typing, one hand to hold Nora! |
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celebrate2727
True Blue Farmgirl
989 Posts
Beth
MJF
Farmgirl
989 Posts |
Posted - Jul 17 2007 : 09:02:18 AM
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I am so sorry for your loss. It is so very difficult to lose someone you care about to such a disease. You have my prayers dear one. Know that you did all that you could.
I am married to one who suffers this devastating disease. I would love to talk to someone who has lived with someone who has bi-polar. Please email me privately.
blessings
beth |
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Amie C.
True Blue Farmgirl
2099 Posts
Finger Lakes Region
NY
2099 Posts |
Posted - Jul 17 2007 : 09:44:02 AM
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| Patricia, I'm sorry to hear what happened. Two of my friends committed suicide this spring (completely separate, but only a week apart). I know how hard it is to rehash your last contact with the person who's gone, and wonder whether there was one little thing you might have done that would have changed their course of action. In the end I guess only God knows what's really going on at the moment when the decision was made (if it was really a conscious decision). I've come to think of most suicides as a form of accidental death, because I can't believe that death, especially in such a horrible way, is what the person really wants. What they want is something else, maybe relief from some intolerable situation, and they try to get it in a mistaken way. |
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Utahfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1940 Posts
Portland
Oregon
USA
1940 Posts |
Posted - Jul 17 2007 : 12:45:10 PM
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I just want to say thanks for all the prayers and thoughts, girls. There was another story in the paper today about her background, and a picture.It's not about me, although I appreciate the love you're showing. Please surround Tonya with pink light (the vibration of love). Thanks so much! Farmgirls are the best!
farmgirl hug,
Patricia
check out my etsy site http://ThePlayfulFarmgirl.etsy.com
Take me home, country roads |
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therusticcottage
True Blue Farmgirl
4439 Posts
Kay
Vancouver
WA
USA
4439 Posts |
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Vintage Redhead
True Blue Farmgirl
233 Posts
Kaylyn
Saint Charles
IL
USA
233 Posts |
Posted - Jul 17 2007 : 2:44:33 PM
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Patricia:
Bless you for the progress that you made with her. Bless you that you are so moved by what she has done. Bless you that you grieve for and with her family. Bless you for sharing her story with us. Her choice was unfortunate. May she and her family have peace. ~ K
~ Kaylyn ~ (Living in Suburbia with a FARMGIRL Heart!)
My Cause: http://nickspavilion.com/
My Life: http://vintageredhead.blogspot.com |
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Across the Fence: A terrible shock and a sad day |
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A terrible shock and a sad day
