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Parenting & Farm Kids:  Does anyone have ADHD strategies?  |
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Love-in-a-Mist
True Blue Farmgirl
367 Posts
Shannon
Independence
Oregon
USA
367 Posts |
 Posted - May 24 2007 : 8:53:57 PM
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Help! I just started baby sitting a 5 yr old and 1 yr old. The 5 yr old can not sit still, stop talking and is very impulsive. She pushes her baby brother down, tried to hurt my dog, takes over my kids, bites them. My nephew was just diagnosed with it and she acts just like him. I have seen her at school and she's always in trouble, but I don't think anyone has brought it up to her mom. I don't plan on doing it, at least yet. Anyway does anyone have any strategies I can use for her so she is not in timeout constantly. Which doesn't work anyway, because she cannot stop talking. I want her to succeed and not have to punish her all the time.
My sister hasn't learned new ways to deal with my nephew, yet, so she is no help.
http://love-in-a-mist-shannon.blogspot.com/ |
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simpler1773
True Blue Farmgirl
234 Posts
Ricki
Ashland
Wisconsin
USA
234 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2007 : 9:00:39 PM
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Being outside is a huge help for my daughter.
~Ricki~
You can't pour anything out of an empty vessel, take care of yourself! |
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Tina Michelle
True Blue Farmgirl
6948 Posts
Tina
sunshine state
FL
USA
6948 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2007 : 11:20:13 PM
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just a question..does she consume alot of sugary items? like sweetenened cereals and sweet snacks? not that I am an expert on ADHD or anything..but..maybe, just maybe..if while she was in your care snacks like veggies and fruit instead of anything with sugar were given..it just "might" help alleviate some of the behaviour.(??)
and I don't claim to know a thing about ADHD, but sugar consumption might have a role in some of the hyperactivity tendencies..just a thought. good luck though to you.hope you figure something out.
~Seize the Day! Live, Love, Laugh~
visit me at:
http://gardengoose.blogspot.com/
and at www.stliving.net
you can also check out my etsy shops at:http://GardenGooseGifts.etsy.com and
http://photosbytina.etsy.com
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simpler1773
True Blue Farmgirl
234 Posts
Ricki
Ashland
Wisconsin
USA
234 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2007 : 06:02:22 AM
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Although sugar is really unhealthy and it is smart to avoid it, it doesn't play much of a role in ADHD if that truly is what this little girl has. Food preservatives and colorings actually may have more to do with it than plain sugar. Unprocessed foods are best for children with ADHD according to my reading on the subject.
It's really hard because if she eats alot of processed food when she is away from you it won't be much of a help (behavior wise), it one of those things that takes months of clean eating to see the results.
The outdoors thing is the only thing we've found that helps my daughter (she's 2, and undiagnosed, but I'm doing my research because I'm pretty sure she has it). There are articles and books that I have read that say being outside is like medicine for them.
Since you're not her parent and you are just left to deal with the child as is, that's all I know to do. If you were the parent I'd suggest having her evaluated because there are other things that could be going on (even allergies can cause stuff like this).
(((hugs)))
~Ricki~
You can't pour anything out of an empty vessel, take care of yourself! |
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willowtreecreek
True Blue Farmgirl
4813 Posts
Julie
Russell
AR
USA
4813 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2007 : 08:46:43 AM
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Sugar is not really a factor in ADHD! For a lot of children the problem is Red Dye that also happens to be in a lot of sugary (and not necessarily red) foods. Allergies can also be another factor. If it really is a problem I would HIGHLY suggest you say something to the parent. Many times parents send their kids to school and daycare first thing in the morning and don't see them until late in the day when they are just purely exhausted from all the energy they expelled during the day. The parent has no clue how their child really behaves.
I am not a supporter of medicating for ADD or ADHD but having a physician with the right knowledge can help you to deal with it better.
Jewelry, art, baskets, etc.
www.willowartist.etsy.com
www.willowtreecreek.com |
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EmmJay
True Blue Farmgirl
352 Posts
Mary Jane
Amherst
Nova Scotia
Canada
352 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2007 : 09:14:55 AM
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Sugar does not have alot to do with ADHD, but does affect somewhat. I found that sugary drinks, choc milk, and not enough rest makes my son....umm mischievous. My son is now 16, and he was diagnosed at the age of 6. I asked his teachers several times, and they brushed it off. One of the first things I did was seek a reputable doctor and he watched for several months (ensuring a proper diagnosis).
I remember one time, my son had a small chocolate milk, (age 7 or 8), and within minutes, I had to carry him out of the mall. I was amazed, and then when speaking with the doctor, was told of the chemicals, and now, I won't touch the stuff, unless I make it. Being outside also helps him, especially now on the farm.
I also agree with Julie, and you should say something to the parents. I can't say how many times I was told not to worry, he is just a typical little boy....what is so typical with ADHD or allergies.
MJ
"Thank GOD I'm a country girl"
http://s119.photobucket.com/albums/o134/EmmJay07/ |
Edited by - EmmJay on May 25 2007 09:15:47 AM |
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Vintage Redhead
True Blue Farmgirl
233 Posts
Kaylyn
Saint Charles
IL
USA
233 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2007 : 09:52:35 AM
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I have one with ADHD, one with ADD. Trust me - there *IS* a difference in the two different diagnoses. My ADHD child is *CONSTANTLY* on the move and is never quiet - even talking during sleep - but can get his tasks done when he is calm enough to focus. My ADD child isn't anywhere nearly as mobile - but he needs near-constant directives to keep him focused and on-task.
In our house: Television had to go. We have lived without it for 16 months. It isn't a "culprit" per se, but I noticed that both of my kids don't burn their energy - so it builds to excess levels and that would cause a problem. They also let something/someone else do their thinking for them - which neither of them need - which would amplify their "focus" problems.
My ADHD child was *officially* diagnosed at 4 and is now 7 1/2, though I was ADHD myself and started seeing symptoms as young as 9 months. He needs constant reminders to modify his activity level. Certain times during the day, I need him to "...amp it up..." and get some of that energy out of his system. Other times, I need him to "...dial it down..." to get ready for quiet activities. He is on medication so that he is able to learn in school - something that my own parents waited too long to do with me. The medication also helps him see which physical behaviors are appropriate and inappropriate so that he can better socially model himself. Impulse control is an enormous issue - and without being able to see that most other children his age are able to control certain social impulses such as stealing toys, hitting, biting, he would be unable to model those behaviors himself. It is one thing for *us* to tell him...it is completely another for him to observe appropriate behavior in his peers. On the converse, he gets to see his unfortunate peers who are not medicated and how their behavior can turn them into social outcasts.
I can tell you from two sides of the experience - ADHD myself and parent of a child with it - that this is an issue bigger than you're going to be able to handle as a sitter. If your concerns are this serious this early on with this child, you may have to make some tough decisions whether or not to continue watching her or to prepare to speak with her parents. It isn't going to get better on it's own and it takes a "...team approach..." to get this child behaving appropriately.
~ Kaylyn ~ (Living in Suburbia with a FARMGIRL Heart!)
My Cause: http://nickspavilion.blogspot.com/
My Life: http://vintageredhead.blogspot.com |
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2007 : 11:55:31 AM
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My youngest has ADD and I really believe that doing away with most all sugar and processed foods helps alot. Mine isn't hyper at all....just can't really focus for long. He has alot of speech problems too, and when he has had junk food at all he just can't focus and even his language skills suffer. I am big on not giving ANY kids much sugar or junk food so he is not the only one "deprived". I hate how much it (junk food and candy and soda and stuff) is given to kids as rewards and snacks. I just say no and the kids are good about following the rules about food. There are plenty of healthy alternatives.
The parents will really have to be "on board" with anything you do to affect the child's behavior. I did child care for alot of years and being consistent was the key almost all the time if I had hard kids. The kids are always easier to work with than the parents.
Jenny in Utah
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
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ArmyWifey
True Blue Farmgirl
712 Posts
Holly
Abilene
KS
712 Posts |
Posted - May 27 2007 : 5:49:59 PM
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Definetly do away with as much sugar and processed foods as possible, also eating on a regular basis. I think blood sugar levels also contribute. I have bought a type of protein drink that doesn't contain soy or sucralose for my son.
Having a daily routine.
One thing we tried that might work well with her is money......
make a chart of positive and negative behaviors. Determine a set amount for each -- ie 5c, 10c, 25c, etc. Get two clear jars and put a smiley face on one and a sad face on the other. When she displays one of the behaviors move money from one jar to the other (we started out with $10.00 in change). At the end of the week (or the day if you want to start out with less since she's little) she gets to keep whatever's in the happy jar. This really worked well with my son when I remembered to use it!
Make an if- then chart or purchase one from Doorposts (homeschool company) and set out consequences -- have Mom help or get one for her to have at home too!
Eating well and sleeping well are the two bigges though, and being consistent. As well as exercise -- run laps etc.
Blessings,
Holly
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!
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Edited by - ArmyWifey on May 27 2007 5:50:54 PM |
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willowtreecreek
True Blue Farmgirl
4813 Posts
Julie
Russell
AR
USA
4813 Posts |
Posted - May 28 2007 : 06:25:25 AM
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My biggest piece of advice would be good discipline! Some parents are afraid to discipline inappropriate behavior in kids with ADD and ADHD. They blame the behavior solely on the disorder and don't give the child any responsibility. While the disorder does casuse certain behaviors (I am a non-physician diagnosed ADD sufferer) kids CAN and WILL learn to control them with proper guidence and direction from parents. Too many parents become enablers of their kids behavior saying things like "oh she has ADD so it's okay"
Obviously you are not the parent so you are limited on what you can do. If you are caring for this child in your home set up very specific rules. Inform the child AND the parent of the house rules and discuss what the consequences will be if the rules are broken. Once you do this you HAVE to stick to it. Don't "let it go, just this once" at all or you will be back at square one.
If you are in the childs house discuss the rules and consequences they maintian in their house and use those. The key is to be informed and let the child know you know the rules. Otherwise "mom doesn't make me do that" or "my mom says that is okay" will rule your life!
Of course these are good principles to use with all kids and not just those with ADD/ADHD.
Jewelry, art, baskets, etc.
www.willowartist.etsy.com
www.willowtreecreek.com |
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Vintage Redhead
True Blue Farmgirl
233 Posts
Kaylyn
Saint Charles
IL
USA
233 Posts |
Posted - May 28 2007 : 07:05:43 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by willowtreecreek
My biggest piece of advice would be good discipline!
Julie:
Amen, Amen, *AMEN*!!! I was going to quote your entire post!! I couldn't agree more! It's easy to *want* to go easy on these kids, but they need *MORE* discipline, not less. And discipline means "to teach" - not punish. It's about setting boundaries and sticking to them.
I have a friend whose son has *serious* ADHD (if not other mental illness issues) and her approach is all about "...tender-loving-care..." because she believes the world beats down on him. And her son runs the entire house - to the point of pushing her down the stairs when he has a tantrum, biting, and *peeing on the carpet in his room!* Why? *Because SHE ALLOWS HIM TO*!! In our house, those behaviours are absolutely NOT tolerated!
When our sons are told (*NOT* "asked") to do something, they are expected to reply "Yes, sir" or "Yes, ma'am." If they don't, or if they complain, or if they ask "Why do I have to ________?" they get time to rethink their approach. Our household is a Benevolent Dictatorship...it is not a Democracy. I know that sounds harsh, but honestly: the 6- and 7-year olds do *not* do the governing around here. That is not to say that DH and I will not take an honestly and calmly presented issue into consideration; however, we always have the final say. And we call ourselves the United Front and do not tolerate Parent Shopping; it is not permitted and is grounds for privilege revocation. And the boys *know* our rules - they are in no way unclear to them.
Parenting in general is not for wimps. Parenting (or in this case, caretaking) children with ADHD/ADD requires a personal resolve to help these kids integrate into society to not only become the most productive adults they can be, but to stand out less as children and help them learn in school. That takes a tremendous amount of energy above and beyond the issues of normal parenting - it takes the ability to strategize, to plan, to forecast, to constantly evaluate and re-evaluate. Not that "regular" parenting doesn't involve all of those things...I just watch my friends with "normal" non-ADHD/non-ADD kids and think "Wow...they just don't get it." To them, a bump in the road is a week's worth of bad nights sleep. To those of us with ADHD/ADD kids, a bump in the road is having your kid on Adderall and knowing that your child has no appetite and is losing weight and you have to decide to keep him on the medicine so that he can focus and learn at school or take him off so that he rises above the 25% percentile on his weight chart. To them, a call from the school may mean that their child had a small accident on the playground or is being sent home with pink eye. To me, it could mean that my kid didn't take his medicine and is bouncing off the walls and can't stop talking and walking...or worse, *pushed* another kid on the playground.
There are no solutions. Only tactics. And it is *extremely* exhausting. But it is also well worth it. These kids are tough, but they can also be so much fun - they're generally intensely creative, verbally well beyond their peers, and interesting to converse with on a higher level.
~ Kaylyn ~ (Living in Suburbia with a FARMGIRL Heart!)
My Cause: http://nickspavilion.blogspot.com/
My Life: http://vintageredhead.blogspot.com |
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serenity1652
True Blue Farmgirl
140 Posts
Fawn
Elkins
WV
USA
140 Posts |
Posted - May 28 2007 : 08:19:06 AM
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Beat them....Just kidding!!! My son will be 15 and was diagnosed when he was 5. He has been on Concerta, Strattera, Adderal and now nothing. Honestly....His is best controlled with discipline. If he acts up....he gets stuff taken away. Tell the mother...so she can control it now.
Fawn
"May all of your farm girl dreams come true...as mine has"
http://shallowcreekfarm.blogspot.com/ |
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willowtreecreek
True Blue Farmgirl
4813 Posts
Julie
Russell
AR
USA
4813 Posts |
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UrbanChick
True Blue Farmgirl
331 Posts
Ayako
Atlanta
GA
USA
331 Posts |
Posted - May 28 2007 : 9:21:11 PM
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| My daughter is autistic but she does has ADHD symptoms that add to it. We have to set very strict perameters to her schedule. She has a picture schedule to let her know what is going to be coming next, ie lunch, snack, reading, car trip, nap etc. She doesn't like change too much. She used to hit and tantrum all the time. We have cut out many sweets but to be honest her symptoms didn't change drastically enough to convince me just to cut out the sugar. The schedule and rules seemed to help her the most. As far as disipline, she self mutilates when she is stressed (She has torn her thumb nail off when in time out at at school, at home she scratches herself till she bleeds) so we keep it very simple. When tantruming there is no eye contact, I don't use her name over and over, I ask, "What do you need to do?" wait 5 seconds and then state, "You need to pick up your toys. or you need to stop hitting etc" Then if she dosen't comply and dosen't pick up toys then you hand over hand show her how to pick up one toy and put it away. And continue till clean, and then give praise for cleaning. As for hitting or biting, time out doesn't work for her since it gives her time to self mutilate so we have to wait and either sit with her so she can't scratch or we have to take away privelges she can see like on her picture schedule if it's time to play outside then she will lose that privilage for hitting and she dosen't get it back till the next day. I wish I could give you advice for a sitter to have since a parent has more room to disapline openly to their own child but I hope you will be able to find the right words to tell these parents so they are on board with your wishes. |
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nashbabe
True Blue Farmgirl
687 Posts
687 Posts |
Posted - May 29 2007 : 8:12:54 PM
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Might want to read a book or two by Dr. Edward Hallowell, excellent books about ADD. Also, some of Dr. Daniel Amen's books have information on both pharmacological and more wholistic treatments, as well as breaking ADD down into some more than subtypes than one would see on a DSM-IV (the psychiatric official list of disorders).
Grew up on a farm...moved to da city...grew up a farmgirl! |
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Vintage Redhead
True Blue Farmgirl
233 Posts
Kaylyn
Saint Charles
IL
USA
233 Posts |
Posted - May 30 2007 : 05:38:21 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by nashbabe
...some of Dr. Daniel Amen's books have information on both pharmacological and more wholistic treatments, as well as breaking ADD down into some more subtypes...
Great suggestion! I forgot that I had one of the Amen books - it's even got brain scans to back up his claims that there truly are different *types* of ADHD/ADD and that they affect different parts of the brain and affect the brain different ways. I have "Healing ADD" by Amen. It really gives a comprehensive look into what's happening inside those who suffer. Makes me want to take the book and use it to smack my one relative who doesn't believe that ADD/ADHD even exists - she thinks it's just a convenience diagnosis for kids who have more energy than their parents *want* to deal with.  Um....HELLO???? *SMACK.*  Did I say that?  ~ K
~ Kaylyn ~ (Living in Suburbia with a FARMGIRL Heart!)
My Cause: http://nickspavilion.blogspot.com/
My Life: http://vintageredhead.blogspot.com |
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KYgurlsrbest
True Blue Farmgirl
4853 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4853 Posts |
Posted - Jun 05 2007 : 08:32:35 AM
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I meant to respond to this earlier...my husband is adhd, and was diagnosed at 18, after being kicked out of every catholic school across Hamilton County, Ohio (Cincinnati) and eventually relegated to a boys home. ADHD wasn't something that anyone really knew about, and though his IQ was off the chart, he was just labeled "bad". He started taking Ridalyn at 18, but quickly stopped because he felt "hyper focused" (he wrote a book in three days), and hasn't taken anything since. We've been married 6 years this August, and it's been a learning curve for me...while I don't have strategies, per se, I do have "signs" that I look for. I've read so many books on the subject and it seems so similar (at least in adults) to bi-polar disorder. Before he has one of his meltdowns, he craves simple sugars--potatoes, pasta, grains, breads. That's all he will eat besides meat, and it can be excessive, for days at at time. His mother said that she had to put up all chocolates and sweets, even unsweetened cocoa, and, that at 2 am, she might find him up on top of the refrigerator into them. I usually try to train him away from foods like that and, though he may eat them when I'm not around, I don't offer them at home. He also will exhibit agitation about just about everything at this time, and simple things get overwhelming. I've found that it's very easy to get angry and accusatory, "you're being lazy", "what you just said to me was TOTALLY inappropriate", but what I've found helps me (and him) is to just walk away from it. If I'm contributing to the agitation, it isn't helping, in fact, it's creating more. In the case of this little girl, I would address the matter with her mother, but more than that, I would address the issue with her. They are HIGHLY perceptive and intelligent, which is part of their issue....she's probably bored, because they do need constant stimulation. My dh's little brother Mick, who is now 17, was exactly the same as my dh. His mother and father have taken sooo many classes since my dh was little that they actually spoke to Mick like an adult when they saw something they needed to address. They actually REASONED with him. Making them aware of the repercussions of their actions is really difficult, they're very unaware, and if mom and dad haven't addressed behavioral issues with her, you can bet your bum (even though she's 5) she doesn't get right from wrong, so you need to spell it out plainly. That's still true of my dh. No beating around the bush, no hints. They simply don't take them well. He's the king of saying rude things to people. He doesn't think it's rude, he doesn't even know how it sounds. Typically, I'll simply say, "what you said to ____ sounded very harsh. Did you know that?" He will usually say, "No, I didn't. I didn't mean anything by it. I'll tell her I'm sorry tomorrow..."
I wish you much luck--it's challenging, and you don't want to limit her, like you said. One of the best books I've read was called, "ADHD, a different side of the story", and it helped me immensely.
"In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt." Margaret Atwood
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Love-in-a-Mist
True Blue Farmgirl
367 Posts
Shannon
Independence
Oregon
USA
367 Posts |
Posted - Jun 05 2007 : 7:12:56 PM
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Update: I had a conversation with her mom where she was telling me how the girl is very mischeivious. I told her my nephew acts the same way and was just diagnosed- then she finished my sentence-with ADD. She said her husband had it and thought maybe the daughter did too, but was addiment about not putting her on drugs. I told her I wouldn't want to give my kid drugs either and said I would try to figure out things to do with her, so she wasn't in time out all the time. She offered some suggestions. The mom said the girl wanted to learn how to read this summer, but when I brought it up to the girl she didn't want to.
So now, today was my second all day, babysitting her. I made a rule that no one was allowed to play in the bedrooms. Unless, my kids wanted to go in there alone. I am thankful I did, because my son that's her age can not handle her all day. She had both my kids in tears and then they ganged up on her. Of course I put a stop to it, but I am also wondering if maybe I should let her feel like an outcast a little bit, so she can learn what is socially acceptable.
All day long I am counting the hours until her mom comes. This summer is going to be miserable for us if I can't get a handle on things. YOu guys gave me some good insight and I will try the things tomorrow. I really feel for you parents, that have to deal with this all the time.
http://love-in-a-mist-shannon.blogspot.com/ |
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EmmJay
True Blue Farmgirl
352 Posts
Mary Jane
Amherst
Nova Scotia
Canada
352 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2007 : 09:54:49 AM
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I did allow my son to feel like this, but then quickly talked with him, and asked him if he knew why others were not wanting to be around him. I then did have to explain that others do not like certain types of behavior and that others would not be like this with him, if he acted calmer or better. It took some time, but then I would see him catching himself and changing his behavior.
Please let us know how things are going.
MJ
"Thank GOD I'm a country girl"
http://s119.photobucket.com/albums/o134/EmmJay07/ |
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nashbabe
True Blue Farmgirl
687 Posts
687 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2007 : 11:26:25 AM
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ADD is a brain disorder. Just like asthma is a pulmonary disorder and diabetes an endocrine disorder. I understand people being cautious with meds, but I do want to offer a flip side also. I do know that some brain disorders often need medication, and while perhaps some kids "grow out" of ADD, many do not. It is an interesting thing, people are usually fine with giving their kids meds for asthma or diabetes, but hesitant or unwilling for ADD. There are many considerations when a child is diagnosed, to be sure, and lots of kids get medicated that probably don't need to be...I know kids, though, who desperately need the meds. Just another side of the story...hope things go well for you! Also, someone mentioned that their hubby took Ritalin a while ago. There are other meds that have come on the scene since then, reported to be easier to take, so if the person quit because of Ritalin's effects, that's understandable, but different meds work better on different people...I don't mean to aggravate ANYONE by my post, please understand that. I just have seen too many adults and kids have to deal with problems because of not having considered meds...which may or may not be appropriate for any given situation, but may well be worth exploring sometimes. In some cases, people may observe ADD folks "self-medicating" when they aren't taking meds...I have seen overwhelming amounts of caffeine, thrill-seeking and carbs/sugars all being things that folks have tried to self-medicate with, at best. Sometimes, not always but sometimes, they try other things that are less legally or socially acceptable. Hugs to all, and please don't consider this a flame or an angry post. I post it with hesitation, but also with the hope that it is helpful to perhaps someone. Have a great day!
Grew up on a farm...moved to da city...grew up a farmgirl! |
Edited by - nashbabe on Jun 06 2007 11:28:51 AM |
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Love-in-a-Mist
True Blue Farmgirl
367 Posts
Shannon
Independence
Oregon
USA
367 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2007 : 3:03:52 PM
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Today started off horribly. As soon as she got out of the car my kids ran to their rooms and shut the doors. They didn't even want to talk to her. I can reason with my son, but my daughter is too young. Everytime I tried she just cried and screamed. After, breakfast they argued most of the day.
After reading what you guys said I can see what's going on now. She gets bored than starts arguments just for something to do. My son falls for it everytime and gets so frustrated over things she is just making up to get a reaction from him.
But everytime I start an activity, she either doesn't want to do it, or makes it impossible with her behavior. So today I keep sending them outside and they have been busy making "forts and Indian camps" She has alot better imagination than my son and shows him alot of cool things, which I pointed out all the cool things to him. But even so, I don't think he apprecitates her.
http://love-in-a-mist-shannon.blogspot.com/ |
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Vintage Redhead
True Blue Farmgirl
233 Posts
Kaylyn
Saint Charles
IL
USA
233 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2007 : 4:35:01 PM
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Here is something you could give a try:
Instead of sending *your* kids to your room every time she picks a fight, tell her parents that they have to put together a "Boredom Bag" of things for her to do. That is: if she can do Dot-To-Dot puzzles, color-by-numbers, letter-matching activities, coloring books - things that are *ONLY FOR HER* to do. Then, when she misbehaves or starts picking fights, *SHE* has to come in but the things she has to do are things that her parents have picked out for her and are from her home.
This does a few things: 1) It gets her parents *directly* involved - no cop-outs! - because they have to select a variety of activities that can keep her occupied for stretches lasting 5-30 minutes, depending on her level of agitation; 2) It keeps the frustration level of *your kids* to a minimum because they don't feel like prisoners in their own home; 3) It shows her that *she* is the one suffering the ramifications of her own behavior (i.e. *she* is the one removed from the social situation, the other kids go right on having fun together, but she ceases to be involved); 4) By removing her, you can "quantify" for the parents with something tangible exactly how often his disruptions are...because you have something to show for it (e.g. a completely colored picture, some completed dot-to-dots, some color-by-numbers...whatever...) so that they can see that this is *no small issue* - being able to hand over 10 pages at the end of the day and saying "Jumping Jane was in 8 time outs today and this is what she did in them" is very different from saying "Oh, I had to keep Jumping Jane outside all day because she was so disruptive."; 5) By having ownership of her bag, she is taking ownership of her behavior - though she won't make that connection right now, you can make it for her and her parents.
Also: Get yourself a $1.99 whistle at Wal-Mart. Best investment I ever made having ADHD / ADD kids. If they're going to *make* me play referee, then I'll have the tools for the part! When I have to blow it, they know I mean business. ~ K
~ Kaylyn ~ (Living in Suburbia with a FARMGIRL Heart!)
My Cause: http://nickspavilion.blogspot.com/
My Life: http://vintageredhead.blogspot.com |
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Love-in-a-Mist
True Blue Farmgirl
367 Posts
Shannon
Independence
Oregon
USA
367 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2007 : 5:44:02 PM
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Thank you, Thank you, Thank you Kaylyn!
I tried telling her mom when she came, but she just didn't get it. She was more worried about having to spend all day in class and then going to class again tonight.
One thing I am so thankful for is making the decision to live simply and be home with my kids. We can't keep up with the neighbors, but people marvel at how much my kids know about and get excited about plants. It makes me smile everytime I get stopped at the store, in the garden section, by someone who was listening to my children talking about their garden.
http://love-in-a-mist-shannon.blogspot.com/ |
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_Rebecca_
True Blue Farmgirl
568 Posts
Rebecca
OK
USA
568 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2007 : 11:57:29 AM
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The nutrition advice is great and all, but I am a firm believer in children getting ADEQUATE sleep at night. Talk to the mom about putting her 5 year old in bed earlier and also allow her to nap if she needs it during the day. Many times children exhibit problems that look like hyperactivity when really they are very tired, do not get adequate rest, etc.
Do you watch her through the entire day? Can you make her an area that is quiet and dimly lit where she can look at books & listen to some low-key music? Make is a daily requirement that she gets this time all to her self. She may even fall asleep. Use your best judgement on when to do this during the day. You may have to be very strict about it and put her in an area where she cannot get out, but where she is safe. A kid that is wound up is going to balk at relaxation time.
ADHD is usually an under-driven hypothalmus issue. But, you can really slow kids down by making sure they have proper nutrition, adequate rest, good amounts of fresh air, green grass & outdoor play, rules, boundaries & limitations. You have to work at teaching them how to self-regulate and build relaxation into their schedule.
Protein is a wonderful thing for children. Keep her off the simple carbs for a good while and see if that changes her behavior too. Lots of water and lots of slow-burn foods.
But, most of all I would check with the mom about her 5 year old's bedtime. I would ask that they keep the 5 year old on a no-tv diet at home as well or limit it to only 1 hour a day, including any time at your house.
Also, 5 year olds really really really need lots of time interacting with boys and girls their own age so they can run off the energy.
Quiet activities that engage their concentration are very good for them too. Violin or piano or some type of "lesson" that requires them to think hard drains their excess energy off as well.
It just sounds like she has pent up aggression which is coming from built up energy that isn't getting out of her system and also from not being able to relax. She may even have a bit of depression. That is a sleep related issue as well.
.·:*¨¨* :·.Rebecca.·:*¨¨* :·. |
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Love-in-a-Mist
True Blue Farmgirl
367 Posts
Shannon
Independence
Oregon
USA
367 Posts |
Posted - Jun 09 2007 : 06:41:45 AM
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Yesterday was the worst day EVER!!! I really have no control over her, unless I physically hold her in time out, which I do not feel comfortable doing with someone elses kid. She wouldn't just sit still, she would fight me to the end. I tried "down time", everything. She won't LISTEN or shut up!! I ended up calling my sister and almost started crying as soon as I heard her voice. She came and rescued my kids. As soon as they were gone, the girl sat down and watched t.v. And was quiet for the first time all week. After talking to the mom I left it as, if next week isn't better I can't do it anymore. I'm wondering if it is not ADHD, if it is a discipline problem?
http://love-in-a-mist-shannon.blogspot.com/ |
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_Rebecca_
True Blue Farmgirl
568 Posts
Rebecca
OK
USA
568 Posts |
Posted - Jun 09 2007 : 06:58:46 AM
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You can't physically keep her somewhere, I don't think, since she isn't your kid. She needs to be evaluated or something.
.·:*¨¨* :·.Rebecca.·:*¨¨* :·. http://boinglink.blogspot.com/ |
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Parenting & Farm Kids: Does anyone have ADHD strategies? |
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Does anyone have ADHD strategies?
