| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Nov 21 2011 : 1:45:10 PM
especially if they're coming from almost 3 hours away, a) give them an easy way out (chips, salsa, that sort of thing) or b) don't tell them they can't use your oven for 10 minutes.
I swear. Thanksgiving can be a real hassle! My sil asked me to bring the pumpkin pie and the sweet potatoes, then decided that she would ask her dad to bring the sweet potatoes because she couldn't think of anything to tell him to bring, and now this afternoon, she asked me via Facebook to bring an appetizer but, but I don't know how I'm supposed to actually "make" anything if she won't allow me to "premake" them at my house and then use her oven (because, she has a Wolff double oven). I've tossed out three different ideas, all of which I can premake at my house and assemble, but bake for 10 minutes max to serve, and she's said, "yeah, the turkey..." but doesn't offer any other suggestions. It's VERY frustrating, because, this group of people frowns on cheeseballs and chips and salsa, especially on Thanksgiving. They're more of a "Gourmet magazine" crowd...but I work until 5:30 the day prior, and then have to go home and make the pie (and whatever appetizer...), then the next day, drive up to their house by 12:30 so that we can eat at 5:00 then back home the almost three hours in the dark. She is a stay at home mom who's mother has been there since Saturday to help get ready...so, why am I the one put out with this appetizer?
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| queenmushroom |
Posted - Nov 25 2011 : 4:11:29 PM
How about this: bring 1 can of fruit cocktail, 1 can of pineapple, 1 bag minimarshmellows, 1 jar maraschino cherries, container of sour cream and a bowl. When you get to her house, ask for a strainer, drain the fruit and pineapple (reserve juice for later if you need it in a recipe). Mix all ingredience in bowl and top with cherries. You have a dish that everyone would die for. Trust me on the sour cream. Whipped cream is too sweet for this recipe.
Patience is worth a bushel of brains...from a chinese fortune cookie |
| LuckyMommyof5 |
Posted - Nov 23 2011 : 7:21:49 PM
We had a family member a few years back who assigned EVERY other item of the meal out to other family members because she was hosting and roasting the turkey, so she thought that was "only fair." Then when we all got there, she refused to let us use her oven to reheat or bake because the turkey was in there. And there was no other alternative. Ever eat ice cold green bean casserole and half-cooked cornbread souffle? Not good!
I don't understand what happened to graciousness - if someone brings a dish, you smile, thank them and eat it. Or, if for whatever reason you can't eat it (I have an SIL who keeps making baked goods with cinnamon for us, even though she knows I'm allergic) you smile, thank them and say nothing more.
I will say, though, I'm a SAHM of 4 and I'm run off my feet every minute of every day, and I haven't had more than 5 hours of sleep a night in years.
Farmgirl Sister #3243
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." - Laura Ingalls Wilder |
| cowgirlandboys |
Posted - Nov 23 2011 : 4:01:34 PM
There is a humus tray at Aldi if you have that in your area. It is cheap premade and easy. Might be that having her mom around to help isn't help and that, being a stay at home mom might mean she hasn't had a break from her kids in a while and can't think straight. I have been there. Best wishes for your Thanksgiving!
Happy Trails!
Rachael
Farmgirl Sister #535 |
| MagnoliaWhisper |
Posted - Nov 23 2011 : 11:53:31 AM
wow! About the gift. just wow!
When I was growing up you got what you got! lol haha
Now I will say I do kind of give tips and hints to my family on gifts for the kids, but mainly it's cause we don't have a lot of space. We have always only lived in a one bedroom apartment, and still do and we have three kids. Yes, we only have ONE bedroom still, it's my husband and ours. Our kids "bedroom" is in the living room, which means ALL their toys have to also be stored in the living room. I want the living room some what usable as well though so if we are over ran by toys........well. I mean well it's a given it is overran by toys but I don't need a LOT of junk toys taking up the space. So I kind of know my kids, and what they like to play with. So I give hints to my family. Like they would like more felt food for their "kitchen", or no more toys we are at our limit, but would love some books. Now again with books I am a little bit controlling again space issue, but not very. I usually say anything that Kohl's Kids Care is selling is good (usually great quality) any dr seusse (sp), any golden book, or richard scarry etc. I have other authors I give out if asked, but my parents know all those types are a given we will like.
At the same time, that's ONLY when asked! Most the time, my mom sends things she "thinks" we would like that she has thrifted at Goodwill/garage sales or what not. More often then not it's something my kids love! lol And we just have to let go of some other toy! lol haha I've NEVER asked my kids if they wanted something though I don't think. I can just tell their personalities what they like. DD1 is more of a cars/air planes type kid, IF she plays with toys but she really isn't much of a "toy" player. She would rather be DOING, and books is really what makes her happiest for gifts. Or DOING something with her, a season pass to the zoo, would be awesome for her, she just likes to DO. DD2 on the other hand is all about dollies, loves them, and loves anything to do with them. Same with food, kitchen toys plays kitchen and dollies I guess we called it "house" when I was little, daily. DD1 never cared to play "house" even when I would try to play it with her, it was my favorite as a kid.......but she never cared for it, so I never pushed her. However, DD2 seen all the toys I had bought for DD1 to play "house" and was in love and has always been that kind of kid. Oh she likes doing too, but she would just assume sit in a chair with me and/or play house. Oh she also likes the rocking horse, I bought DD1 who DD1 only cared to pet it, never cared to ride it. DD2 rides it daily. lol Funny little kids! lol
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
| njaw09 |
Posted - Nov 23 2011 : 09:28:00 AM
Yes, Jonni very difficult but I learn how to zone her out & pretty good at it. I pretend to listen to her shaking my head up and down but in reality I am not listening to her. I just smile and walk away. My sister-in-law pull some kinds of stunts once in front of my parents. I was quite furious. I told my mom she is a "princess". I told my husband and say tell your sister stop being a you know what in front of my parents. Her mom (my mother-in-law is an angel). Thank goodness my mother-in-law is not a princess otherwise I would hang myself.
Your niece will love the gift no matter what you give her even homemade. Her mom (your sister) shouldn't get involve. Period. You have to tell your sister to grow up. I have list too but if I feel it is impractical or whatsoever I usually don't follow the list. If any recipients give me a hard time. I just give them cash (my budget not theirs) and let them buy whatever their heart desires. I don't let them bug me anymore. It used to drive me insane when someone tell me I can't do this or that and it ruin my holiday spirit but not anymore. If my niece is spoil I do tell her upfront or teach her some common sense even if the parents do not like it. Yes, they are young but sometimes as an aunt it is good to teach them some moral sense instead of being a spoil little brats.
Don't let your sister ruin your holiday spirits. |
| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Nov 23 2011 : 08:24:40 AM
Annie,
It's a real difficult thing, isn't it? I just figure, I'll make the pie and since my mil has the other stuff covered, I'm not going to worry about it. After 10 years, you'd think I'd get better at just being "ok" with not stressing over this, but I think I'm subconsciously making up for my husband's lack of interest in his own family.
The other part of my conversation with her that I didn't mention (b/c it wasn't about the food) was about my niece's gift for Christmas. See, my sil gives us "approved lists" of items that she "scouts" or that our niece and nephew have asked for. The larger items go on the grandparents lists, and the medium to smaller items to us or her other brothers. This year, our niece asked for a Lolaloopsy (??) doll. I'd never heard of it, but went to Target and found them. I found a "collector" edition, that was much more than the others, but they've just redone her "Paris" themed, all hot pink and black, and this doll was French themed. So, I asked if she thought she would like it and her answer was, "I'll have to ask her and see..." DON'T BOTHER!!! It's supposed to be a Christmas gift, why would you tell her what she "might" be getting from me to see her reaction? And, just like the food thing, it's all according to her directives.
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
| njaw09 |
Posted - Nov 23 2011 : 08:13:34 AM
Jonni-
One of my sister-in-law is a "princess" too. She sound exactly like my sister-in-law. I don't listen to her anymore though. I just let her blah, blah, blah...one ear in and out it goes.
We usually bring shrimp cocktails, chips & dips, alcohol, or cookies for picky hostess/host. Most of the host/hostess I know is quite frank & they tell me upfront of what they want us to bring. I don't take it to heart if they eat or drink it. As long in my heart knows I did my share I don't care what they do with it even if they trash it afterwards. |
| MagnoliaWhisper |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 4:24:52 PM
Seems to me it would be happier memories for you to spend them at home with your nuclear family, and maybe you could invite a few neighbors into the "family" for the meal Jonni. but, that's just my take.
I dunno, I only had one "aunt" who used to request certain things, always the hardest most expensive thing from my mother, and grandmother (her sister and mother). And then she would take the credit for either making or buying them! After a few years mom and grandma got tired of it in a hurry and it was a relief to not go any more!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 11:02:26 AM
Here's the link to the recipe, Judith
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Blue-Cheese-Shortbread-Leaves-with-Cream-Cheese-Chutney-Roulade-107244
it really does sound wonderful to me and I thought I'd make it for the office or for a small gathering of friends before Christmas. Or just me :)
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
| forgetmenot |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 10:57:54 AM
Whoops! I just read the rest of the posts...glad you're off the hook. Now, you can relax. (Think I will try your appetizer though..for Christmas gathering) Right now I'm busy freaking out over Thanksgiving.
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the belief that something is more important than fear." Ambrose Red Moon |
| forgetmenot |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 10:55:19 AM
I love Kim's idea! They will probably have lots of munchies anyway. However, your appetizer sounds yummy and easy to set up and pack. Sounds elegant. Good luck with your decision.
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the belief that something is more important than fear." Ambrose Red Moon |
| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 10:50:55 AM
@ Amanda, you know, you're not the only person who's said this to me (including my husband). I swore last year, when it was about 20 degrees, raining like we needed an Ark, and 25 minutes on to I-74, Violet got car sick, "next year, we're not doing this!" and here I am again. I always feel pulled to do things for everyone else, especially during the holiday season. It's tough because my husband has this "nuclear fall out family" where his mom and dad divorced, both remarried and my mil and step mil are now best friends, and there is an amiable relationship between my fil and step fil, too. We kill two birds with one stone, so to speak, but I often wonder if it's at the expense of sanity.
Kim, your momma was a good advice giver--I talked with my other mil and she's elected to make two appetizers so I don't have to think about it anymore :)
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
| henlady35904 |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 10:46:06 AM
Carry the pie and forget the rest. My dear sweet Momma use to tell me... sticks and stones may break my bones, but there words will never hurt me. Good luck!
Farmgirl Sister #2667 |
| ivmeer |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 10:34:08 AM
You know, maybe next year you should consider doing your own Thanksgiving at home rather than be bullied into driving yourself crazy to cook for people who are going to be unappreciative anyway. It occurs to me that you deserve more than you're getting here. |
| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 08:30:03 AM
Perhaps--I found a recipe that calls for cream cheese, spread with a cranberry/apple chutney and green onion, to be served with blue cheese or stilton shortbread. It sounds easy, good and transportable. I'm not sure if they'd eat hummus or baba ganouj, because neither my mil or my sil will eat Pesto because they say it tastes funny...Regardless, I have to get my ducks in a row because my husband has to work this evening and next (and we are now a one car family, so he will need the car) so I have VERY limited time to decide on something and get ingredients--since I'm working today and tomorrow, also, that leaves me very little movement. All the while she's probably hanging out at her house!
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
| ivmeer |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 08:17:27 AM
Would they eat homemade hummus and baba ganouj? |
| ivmeer |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 08:15:22 AM
I added some details to my cheeseball recipe that I realized that I'd left out.
Okay, so let's think about this...what sort of things do these people eat? They don't like cheeseball, but I'm assuming that jello salad or whatever would be frowned upon?
Here's my Thanksgiving chillover recipe:
1 Tablespoon chillover powder
1 can coconut milk
1 cup shredded fresh coconut
1 jar sour cherries in juice (like Sophia or Marco Polo), drained, juice reserved
Enough sour cherry juice (Heirloom Farms or Knudsen, or Whole Foods makes a generic, I think) to make a little less than 2 cups (I think it comes to 14 oz.)
Cook coconut milk with chillover powder until it boils for a few minutes, remove from heat, add juice and fruit, put in 6-cup gelatin mold sprayed with Pam. Chill until set.
I also do a pina colada chillover with crushed pineapple, pineapple juice, and coconut milk, and you can add some shredded coconut. |
| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 06:49:58 AM
Thanks girls, these posts have both made me laugh and given me good suggestions. Apparently, she asked my other mil to bring one, too (?) and all I could think was: "what exactly are you doing that you couldn't come up with some guacamole or something?" I love her, but she lives in this sort of "alter reality" where somehow, she has no time, even though she doesn't work and her kids are in school and she goes out with the girls for "girls night"---um, I have never had one of those and she gets her nails and hair done bi-monthly...um, never had a manicure and my hair is done biannually...I realize being a SAHM can be really hectic, especially when they're little and still underfoot, but when they're both in school, I'm thinking I could get a heck of a lot done!
A few years ago, when my mil hosted Thanksgiving, she has a bug the week prior but called the Saturday before Thanksgiving to say she didn't think she'd be able to make the sweet potatoes....for the coming THURSDAY because she'd been sick. So, it fell to me, along with the 2 other dishes I was making. The problem is, they've always called her "the princess" so she acts like one and gets away with that sort of behavior.
@Amanda...love your post! "Serve with snotty crackers..." that's awesome. I told my other mil yesterday that I was stressed about it because I don't have a lot of time, and she isn't interested in letting us use the oven so it will have to be something easy. She said, "why are you stressed about it?" And I said, "because I'm not going to be the one they talk nasty about--I've heard them (my sil and other mil) rip people apart for their "non-cooking skills" after they leave, or that they brought something better suited to an outdoor bbq...I refuse to be that person! For my daughter's 2nd birthday, I made a cheeseball, a recipe that I got from a lovely farmgirl, one that I took to work and had none to take home, and they didn't TOUCH it. I heard them later say, "I don't eat cheeseballs...too....I don't know." With a shrug of the shoulders.
Colour me versatile, but I can knock back a cheeseball better than anybody, and turn around and eat something that impresses a foodie like fig jam and gorgonzola toasts. I just like food and I have NO hangups about that!!!!
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
| ivmeer |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 05:39:56 AM
If people insist on bringing something, I tell them to bring flowers. |
| one_dog_per_acre |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 03:57:40 AM
I think you should bring alcohol as an appetizer, sounds like you'll need it. That is really the ONLY think I ask people to bring, ever, unless I run out of butter or something, and they call on their way.
“It always looks darkest just before it gets totally black.”-Charlie Brown |
| 22angel |
Posted - Nov 21 2011 : 8:32:05 PM
I don't have a solution, but Liz, what you said reminds me of Pinkalicious "you get what you get & you don't get upset!" (It's a children's book lol, and they love it! Too bad they didn't always remember it!).
Life isn't about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself.
"When I grow up, I want to be dirt." seen on a box through construction in Wyoming 2010 |
| ivmeer |
Posted - Nov 21 2011 : 6:45:51 PM
OK, here's a good take it with you recipe; Log of goat cheese, honey, a few tablespoons of cream cheese: mix or puree. Add some dried cherries or cranberries, pine nuts (optional), honey, and cinnamon and stir with spoon to combine. Form into ball, roll in sliced almonds. Serve with snotty crackers. |
| ivmeer |
Posted - Nov 21 2011 : 6:41:54 PM
It drives me nuts that people don't let me host and just make my own food. I'm on your side. |
| Lessie Louise |
Posted - Nov 21 2011 : 5:19:54 PM
Take a block of cream cheese, put a jar of jalapeno jelly over it and bring on the Ritz
or the soup crackers with the Hidden Valley salad dressing. Good Luck!
....it's what's inside a women, when she's up against the land.
Farmgirl #680!
http://www.etsy.com/shop/lessielouise22 |
| Tea Lady |
Posted - Nov 21 2011 : 4:17:31 PM
Ditto on Trish's suggestion - she sounds way too picky. Or just bring the pie. That's more than enough.
Liz - words to live by... :o)
Lorraine
(aka Tea Lady)
Farmgirl #1819
www.birdsandteas.com |
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