| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| palmettogirl |
Posted - Feb 14 2008 : 06:43:05 AM
years ago when i was first married a friend of ours asked if we'd ever had vennison? i told him no. he said he had a bunch in his freezer and was gonna drop some off. he said you should really add a lot of wine and spices, etc to kind of hide the gamey taste. anyway i got home and unwrapped this stuff in freezer paper and thought gee, it doesn't even look like meat, but whatever... so i put this stuff in the crock-pot with tons of garlic, onions, carrots, a million spices and lots of red wine. when i got home the house smelled like a sewer! he had given me blue fish by mistake! it was so bad, i unplugged the crock-pot, held my breath and ran a half acre away and threw it in the field next door. not even wild animals would go near it! my husband came home and i ran out to the car and just said honey, let's go for pizza.... while the house was airing out!! |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Bear5 |
Posted - Sep 30 2012 : 5:16:07 PM
This thread is too funny. Emily, do you still have that boyfriend? Nice guy.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
| marlee |
Posted - Sep 30 2012 : 4:55:14 PM
Keep them coming!!! LOLOLOL
Marlee
God is the painter, he paints the picture. And his son builds it, for he is the Master Carpenter! |
| Emily Anna |
Posted - Sep 30 2012 : 4:03:35 PM
When I was fresh out of high school I thought I would surprise my boyfriend at the time with a homemade personal pizza on his lunch hour. I had never made pizza crust before so I thought it would be ok to just mix some flour and water together. It turned out so dense and so chewy I thought he was going to choke on it. He wanted to be polite and appreciative so he didn't say anything, but I could tell and fearing for his safety, I told him to stop. He ended up eating the toppings and ditching the crust. Poor guy! Lol!
Emily |
| rksmith |
Posted - Sep 30 2012 : 2:22:44 PM
Orange chicken, definitely the worst cooking experiment ever. I didn't have an orange chicken recipe but I did have one for lemon chicken. So I made some creative substitutions. My dog wouldn't even touch it.
Rachel
Farmgirl Sister #2753
True enlightenment is nothing but the nature of one's own self being fully realised-- His Holiness the Dali Lama
www.madameapothecary.com |
| FieldsofThyme |
Posted - Sep 29 2012 : 06:03:00 AM
A gumdrop popcorn cake.
The recipe came from a magazine, but used oil in it. It was horrible. It may have had a typo in the ingredients.
It ended up on the back step to get thrown out.
Farmgirl #800
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| Marigold |
Posted - Sep 27 2012 : 9:46:40 PM
The first time I made salsa I follow the directions and tasted it before I started canning. It was barely spicy. So I added more jalapenos, and kept adding until I could taste it. Then I canned the batch and thought I had done a very good job making sure I had some heat in my salsa. Well, when I went to open that first jar my eyes started watering. That stuff was so hot it was in-edible. You could taste nothing for an hour after one bite. After that I followed the recipe.
I also have a similar tale about pickles. I let the brine simmer too long on the stove and enough water evaporated that the whole batch of pickles were uber salty. Now I know to get everything ready and then bring the brine to a simmer so that doesn't happen! |
| marlee |
Posted - Sep 27 2012 : 5:03:05 PM
I am laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes. When I was young about 7 or 8 momma was in the wash house washing clothes and ask me to put hot dogs on and you guessed it no water. there was smoke coming out the door. Momma said " Sissie did you put water on the hot dogs" I said no but momma was running to the house. Then the joke was my momma could really run.
One time made a cake and acccidently put salt instead of sugar. The cats couldnt even eat it.
I have learned alot since those days! I know my family is grateful!!!LOLOLO
Marlee
God is the painter, he paints the picture. And his son builds it, for he is the Master Carpenter! |
| Bear5 |
Posted - Sep 26 2012 : 8:27:01 PM
I think we have probably all done something like that Mary Beth. Trying to cut corners gets us those kinds of Ewwwww dinners. Funny.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
| Okie Farm Girl |
Posted - Sep 26 2012 : 8:16:13 PM
Well, my family would all immediately answer "Her seafood casserole" We had tried a seafood casserole at my grandmother's house that was amazing. I got the recipe and decided to make it myself. Well, since my grandmother caught her crab fresh and got her shrimp fresh and used fresh scallops, I'd say that made a big difference. I had to get the big kind of scallops instead of the little ones (tough), plain old frozen shrimp (probably from Taiwan!!!) and snow crab. And I didn't have some of the other ingredients so I substituted. That casserole was horrible. It was so horrible that now, after probably 13 years, the kids and hubby STILL say, "And do you remember that seafood casserole?? Ewwww." :-)
Mary Beth
www.OklahomaPastryCloth.com
www.Oklahomapastrycloth.com/blog
The Sovereign Lord is my strength - Habakkuk 3:19 |
| Bear5 |
Posted - Sep 26 2012 : 4:42:34 PM
So funny, Audrey. It must have been bad if the dog wouldn't eat it. LOL
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
| acairnsmom |
Posted - Sep 26 2012 : 3:21:15 PM
I made what is now known as the Salt Omlette. It was my first time making an omlette and I put in 1 Tablespoon of salt rather than 1 teaspoon of salt. Needless to say it was inedible! But it is now one of our funny stories.
My mother once made a Sauerbraten with elk meat. We don't know what she did wrong but we (my sisters and Dad) refused to eat it. She got all huffy and said, "fine, the dog will enjoy it!". When she put it in the dogs bowl, Fritz took once whiff and ran out of the house!
Audrey
http://prairiecairncottage.blogspot.com/
.jpg) Good boy Hobbs! I love and miss you. |
| alterationsbyemily |
Posted - Sep 26 2012 : 1:05:51 PM
Ohh man, everyone has such wonderful stories.
My turn, when we were first married, I wanted to make chinese food, lo mein basically. So using a cookbook, it called for three cups of bean sproats and one can of canned cabbage. It was dog food, plain and simply, dog food, smelled and tasted like it.
Those days were full of undercooked meat, raw chickens, unmelted cheese, and cheesecakes so brown, my mom thought it was an apple pie. I have too many stories from the early days of being married. Ugh.
---
Farmgirl #2951
2012 Farmgirl of the Year
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And my new Etsy listings http://www.etsy.com/shop/alterationsbyemily |
| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Sep 26 2012 : 12:06:55 PM
This was a great post!!! And I'm in it as Kygurlsrbest!!! Something happened to my password and id, so I had to start another "identity" on the forum and now I'm FebruaryViolet!
In the interim, there have been several other "horrible" things I've either made myself, or that my husband has wrought...
When we first me, my husband and I, I had just started eating meat after 9 years of being a vegetarian, and prior to that, I wasn't really a cook...I'd just sort of wing it, but because he was a total carnivore and I wanted to impress him, and I'd just had steak au poivre at a fancy steak house in Manhattan and adored it, I looked up the recipe on Epicurious and it "seemed" like something I could manage. Got everything ready, made the mashed potatoes and creamed peas then put pressed the peppercorns into the filets for the oven. Unfortunately, I misread both the amount and "where" to press the peppercorns on the steak....so I used WAY too much and put them on both sides, to effectively "coat" this meat in black peppercorns!!!! When we sat down, I was so proud and I thought, "this is gonna knock his socks off!"....and it sure did! He couldn't stop coughing (or drinking the beer, or his watering) the whole meal. Poor thing, he just kept croaking, "this is pretty spicy!" but he did try to eat the whole thing...when I looked back at my recipe, it occurred to me that a) I'd made a huge miscalculation and b) he was a keeper :)
About 5 years into our marriage, my husband got excited about cooking. One night, I was coming down with some sort of bug, and just felt achy all over, so instead of cooking, I told him I was gonna take warm bath. He offered to make spaghetti and I was absolutely fine with that! While I was soaking in the tub, I started smelling the WORST smell. Like something had died in the kitchen. When I got out and into my robe, and stepped outside into the hallway, it smelled even worse. I stepped into the kitchen and watched him, moving quickly from fridge to spice cabinet, tossing some of this, a little of that, into a pan on the stove. He noticed me and said, "We didn't have any ground beef, so I used Goetta in the tomato sauce. I think it's going to be awesome!" Now, most folks outside of the Ohio/No.Ky/Indiana don't know what Goetta is, but it's basically ground pork with steel cut oats, some sage and other spices. It's a breakfast meat, and it's nothing like beef. In fact, it's got a funny texture and a funny smell, and it's an acquired taste.
Naturally, I protested. I said,, "I appreciate the effort, but I'm not at all going to eat that." An argument insued. He was hurt. Then he took a big spoonful, spit it out into the pan, put his hand up to me as if to say "stop" and said, "We will never speak of this again!". When I want to tease him, I refer to the "spageotta incident" ;)
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
| Ninibini |
Posted - Sep 26 2012 : 12:06:05 PM
LOL! Now I hope you're not saying you know I'm a bad cook, my friend!!! I mean, I know that the big joke in the neighborhood used to be that everyone knew I was cooking whenever the windows flew open to allow the billowing smoke to escape, but... I've come a long way, honest!!! LOL!!! Just kidding - I know that's not what you meant! You made me laugh, though, and my son wanted to know why I was laughing, so I told him. Then he started with a whole bunch of, "Yeah, Mom! And what about the time... And what about the time...And then there was the time... And tell them about the time..." Guess I really have made some whoppper blunders. Why can't they just remember the good stuff? LOL!!! Well, chalk it up to funny stories for posterity, right? LOL!!! Thanks for the giggles! Hugs - Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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| Bear5 |
Posted - Sep 26 2012 : 11:45:57 AM
Nini, I just knew you'd come in and add a post. LOL. I love going back to the older postings. Some I have never read. This one made me laugh.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
| Ninibini |
Posted - Sep 26 2012 : 11:29:25 AM
Oh man... this post brings back memories! The worst thing I've ever made was homemade spaghetti sauce from fresh tomatoes in the slow cooker.. I added too much fresh basil and forgot to remove the bay leaf (my mother's addition). Hours later? Absolute yuck-o. A whole pickin' of tomatoes wasted. The worst thing my MOTHER ever made was Greek pastitsio... I don't know whether she did it wrong, or that it's supposed to taste the way she made it, but let's just suffice it to say we ended up going out for pizza that night. Well... we try, right? You cook, you learn. ;)
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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| Bear5 |
Posted - Sep 26 2012 : 11:08:21 AM
Re-reading some of these posts were fun. We are all so human, even when it comes to cooking. I remember cooking rice in a pot on the stove. I could never get the rice out of the pot. I soaked the whole thing in water and the rice came out shaped like a pot.
These postings are priceless. Enjoy.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
| rain4nights |
Posted - Feb 22 2008 : 06:27:53 AM
quote:
Originally posted by KYgurlsrbest
They have regular, beef and chicken flavored....which...again, what the "flavor" is I'm not sure because it would stand to reason that it would HAVE to be created because it's a vegetarian item...anyway. I don't recommend it :)
I have been a vegetarian for 7 or 8 years now (my dh too), and I have had some successes with fake meat, and even fake meat in chili. You may need to experiment to find a brand or style you like to work with though. Sometimes I get frozen fake meat for some recipes, and sometimes I use a dehydrated TVP (textured vegetable protein) depending on the recipe.
I did have a recent chili disaster though: I was trying to use up ingredients that had been hanging around my pantry too long. Unbeknownst to me, there must be a shelf-life to dried beans? I made some chili with kidney beans that admittedly had been around at least a few years (we don't make chili that often). I did the proper dry bean pre-soak and all that. And I made my yummy chili (fake meat and all), I cooked it the requisite couple of hours... but the beans were still pretty hard... so I cooked it another hour... beans still pretty tough... another hour?... beans still awfully chewy... after about 5 hours of cooking, allowing to sit overnight, another 30 min of cooking... the beans were just barely edible!  |
| nashbabe |
Posted - Feb 18 2008 : 09:32:40 AM
Before I had sinus surgery years ago, I had trouble tasting food and would sometimes add too much spice. WAY too much spice. There were a few times that it tasted okay to me, and my hubby would say "sorry dear, I can't eat this." After surgery, I realized just how much I'd been pouring on just so I could taste it. So there have been a few of those disasters over the years... *L*
Crunchy crafty goodness and psychoses...;-)http://nashbabe.blogspot.com
groovy stuff 2 buy...http://www.alittlesplurge.etsy.com |
| ivmeer |
Posted - Feb 18 2008 : 07:09:13 AM
My grandmother's two rules if you mess up something in the kitchen.
1. Throw it away.
2. Don't tell anyone you made it. |
| electricdunce |
Posted - Feb 15 2008 : 12:50:45 PM
I think the worst thing I ever made was creme caramel sauce. I was a teenager at the time and I had made custard in little pots for dessert. I put the sauce on to cook, you have to pour boiling water on burnt sugar and let it boil for seven minutes. I fell asleep and when I awoke the pan was filled to the top with a cement like layer of charcoal sugar. I tried chipping it out of the pan, but gave up. When the pan was cooled off I just hung it back up, burnt treasure side in, and waited for my mother to discover it. She wasn't too impressed. I think she gave me the pot for my birthday a few years later...Oh yes and then I remember the time I baked fruitcakes for my mom and my aunties, etc. You have to cook them for about three hours at a very low temperature. This was a holiday ritual at our house. My mother always stuffed dates with walnuts so that when you cut a slice, there would bre this nice circle in yr slice. I was alone in the house, and three days later I remembered the fruitcakes. They were solid carbon. I wrapped them up and sent them out any way..I doubt anyone was terribly amused except for me and my tiny mother. |
| KYgurlsrbest |
Posted - Feb 15 2008 : 10:37:09 AM
I like tofu in most anything. A local place makes it fried in salads and things, and its good! I remember that, when I was vegetarian, it meant vegetables and not meat "supplements"...I really like veggie burgers, but that's as far as my faux meat goes.
Farmgirl Sister #80, thanks to a very special farmgirl from the Bluegrass..."She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian.
http://www.buyhandmade.org/ |
| palmettogirl |
Posted - Feb 15 2008 : 10:26:54 AM
i love the "faux" meat story! i have a girlfriend who is a vegetarian....she invited me over for thanksgiving one year. she explained to me that she took tofu and mixed poultry seasoning in it and then "squished it out"---the tofu? and formed it into what she thought looked like a roast turkey on a platter. i did not think it was good and have never gotten over it! i've heard tofu is good for you, is there a way to make it taste any good? |
| KYgurlsrbest |
Posted - Feb 15 2008 : 09:40:12 AM
That would be even worse, I think :)
Farmgirl Sister #80, thanks to a very special farmgirl from the Bluegrass..."She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian.
http://www.buyhandmade.org/ |
| mikesgirl |
Posted - Feb 15 2008 : 09:37:21 AM
I get it - you mean like a tube of meat - I was picturing rolled, like in a fruit roll up!!
Farmgirl Sister #98
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