| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| YellowRose |
Posted - May 30 2020 : 07:58:31 AM
For the beginner badge I wrote a 500 page short story that I have edited. It calls for it to be edited by another person, so I am posting it here and asking those interested to read it and edit for grammar/spelling. Thanks for helping me.
Murder on Hall B
No one was at the front desk when Pearl entered the Little Eden Nursing Home. She looked around, but didn’t see anyone, so went on back to Hall B and Washy Nell’s room. At the door she called out to not startle Washy Nell. On entering the room Pearl noticed the blinds were shut and the lights off. By ten in the morning the blinds should have been opened because Washy Nell loved to see the morning sun flooding into her room. Pearl walked over to the bed and gently touched Washy Nell’s arm and drew back in horror. Washy Nell was icy cold, and Pearl knew enough about death to know she had been dead for hours.
Pearl called 911 and Sheriff Mack on her cell phone. Before help arrived, she only had minutes to look around the room. A needle and latex gloves lay beside Washy Nell’s lifeless body. She quickly took pictures of them with her smart phone.
“What are you doing in here?” May Ritter, the head nurse, shouted at Pearl.
“I’m here to see Washy Nell, but apparently you have forgotten it’s Tues, and I always visit her on Tuesdays. Looks like you weren’t expecting me or anyone else, and thought you had more time to get rid of the evidence before you called the authorities.” Pearl said.
Before the head nurse could answer Pearl heard the sirens as they turned the corner onto Cemetery Road. They were only blocks away. May looked surprised and glared at Pearl.
“You shouldn’t have done that”. May said.
“It was the least I could do since I wasn’t here to save Washy Nell.” Pearl said.
“Get out of this room and leave the building” May said as she reached for the needle & gloves.
“I’m not going anywhere” Pearl said “and leave those things right where they are. I’m not leaving until Sheriff Mack has them in his custody”.
Pearl didn’t know what she would do if May made another attempt to retrieve the evidence. And was surprised when May said. “Well if you’re not leaving at least stay out of my way.”
Pearl heard the sheriff’s voice as he neared the room and she stepped out into the hall to have a private word with him. She told him how she had found Washy Nell, and apparently, she had been dead for hours.
“It’s all starting to make sense to me now. The insurance policies, for the residents, you saw on her desk naming May as the beneficiary.” Sheriff Mack said.
Pearl watched as the sheriff arrested May and ushered her out the building. She stayed until CSI had cleared the room and the coroner removed the body. Emotionally drained Pearl left too and went home to think on the events of the day. She regretted she wasn’t there to save her friend and hoped her passing was a peaceable one. Pearl knew in her heart Tuesdays would never be the same again.
Note: For you who are wondering how I came up with the name Washy Nell. Years ago when I took the paper I checked out the obits for unusual names. Washy Nell was in her late 90s when she passed. I have always wanted to use her name in one of my stories.
Sara~~~ FarmGirl Sister #6034 8/25/14
FarmGirl of the Month Sept 2015. & Feb 2019
Lord put your arm around my shoulders and your hand over my mouth.
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| 21 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| AndreaPA |
Posted - Aug 25 2020 : 4:36:19 PM
Great story! I was wondering if Washy Nell is a nickname or real name. Thanks for adding the note, great way to find names for story's.
Andrea
Farmgirl# 8166
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| YellowRose |
Posted - Jun 17 2020 : 11:17:55 AM
Submitted for the intermediated badge this morning. Now onto the expert badge. Have another ten pages to write on my mystery story and two books to read. Thinking about re-reading The Mysteries of Sherlock Holmes where my love of mysteries began, in my teens, some sixty years ago.
Sara~~~ FarmGirl Sister #6034 8/25/14
FarmGirl of the Month Sept 2015. & Feb 2019
Lord put your arm around my shoulders and your hand over my mouth.
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| YellowRose |
Posted - Jun 13 2020 : 1:57:57 PM
Thanks Winni, I'm working on a new story and the last time I saw Pearl she was knee high in the Red River.
Sara~~~ FarmGirl Sister #6034 8/25/14
FarmGirl of the Month Sept 2015. & Feb 2019
Lord put your arm around my shoulders and your hand over my mouth.
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| Red Tractor Girl |
Posted - Jun 13 2020 : 1:14:21 PM
Sara, I have been wondering about Pearl and was thrilled to see that she has been busy solving crimes! I am so excited that you are getting back to writing again and I look forward to keeping up with Peal and friends down there in Texas. Keep us posted as you move along in the badge levels. Totally awesome!!
Winnie #3109
Red Tractor Girl
Farm Sister of the Year 2014-2015
FGOTM- October 2018 |
| YellowRose |
Posted - Jun 12 2020 : 2:30:37 PM
Kristra, thanks for the words of encouragement.
Sara~~~ FarmGirl Sister #6034 8/25/14
FarmGirl of the Month Sept 2015. & Feb 2019
Lord put your arm around my shoulders and your hand over my mouth.
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| MaryJanesNiece |
Posted - Jun 10 2020 : 1:23:12 PM
Wahoo Sara! Congratulations to you. You are doing awesome.
Krista |
| YellowRose |
Posted - Jun 09 2020 : 06:02:27 AM
Yesterday was a good day for me. I was awarded the beginner badge and both books came. I'm on my way to achieving the intermediate badge.
Sara~~~ FarmGirl Sister #6034 8/25/14
FarmGirl of the Month Sept 2015. & Feb 2019
Lord put your arm around my shoulders and your hand over my mouth.
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| YellowRose |
Posted - Jun 06 2020 : 9:00:52 PM
Thanks for the sweet words, Terri. As soon as the two how to write books get here I will start work on the intermediate badge too.
Sara~~~ FarmGirl Sister #6034 8/25/14
FarmGirl of the Month Sept 2015. & Feb 2019
Lord put your arm around my shoulders and your hand over my mouth.
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| Tchr66 |
Posted - Jun 06 2020 : 6:39:37 PM
Hi Sara,
I am getting ready to begin my writin' work for the intermediate badge. You are an inspiration. Keep up the good work.
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord
Joshua 24:15 |
| YellowRose |
Posted - Jun 05 2020 : 1:25:01 PM
Thanks Judith, I'm glad you liked it.
Sara~~~ FarmGirl Sister #6034 8/25/14
FarmGirl of the Month Sept 2015. & Feb 2019
Lord put your arm around my shoulders and your hand over my mouth.
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| StitchinWitch |
Posted - Jun 05 2020 : 12:12:51 PM
Nice short story, Sara.
Judith
7932
Happiness is Homemade |
| YellowRose |
Posted - Jun 03 2020 : 12:38:46 PM
Thanks Krista, I'm happy you enjoyed my short story.
Sara~~~ FarmGirl Sister #6034 8/25/14
FarmGirl of the Month Sept 2015. & Feb 2019
Lord put your arm around my shoulders and your hand over my mouth.
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| MaryJanesNiece |
Posted - Jun 03 2020 : 12:09:49 PM
Sara, I really enjoyed your story! Great job and thank you for sharing. Congratulations on submitting your badge.
Krista |
| YellowRose |
Posted - Jun 03 2020 : 11:55:18 AM
I submitted my story this morning. Now the waiting begins.
I ordered two books from Thrift Books this morning for the Intermediate badge. One on how to write short stories and the other on how to write mysteries. They should be here 4 - 8 days then I can begin working on the badge.
Sara~~~ FarmGirl Sister #6034 8/25/14
FarmGirl of the Month Sept 2015. & Feb 2019
Lord put your arm around my shoulders and your hand over my mouth.
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| YellowRose |
Posted - May 31 2020 : 11:15:29 AM
Thanks Debbie. My oldest sister read it and suggested I change Washy Nell to her friend in next to last paragraph. She thought I had used the name too much. I changed it and liked how it read.
Sara~~~ FarmGirl Sister #6034 8/25/14
FarmGirl of the Month Sept 2015. & Feb 2019
Lord put your arm around my shoulders and your hand over my mouth.
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| debbieklann |
Posted - May 31 2020 : 11:04:47 AM
The only thing that I saw was what Deb pointed out. Looks good!
Debbie Klann
Farmgirl Sister #770
2018 Farmgirl of the Year
"Well behaved women seldom make history"....Laurel Thatcher Ulrich |
| YellowRose |
Posted - May 31 2020 : 09:34:58 AM
I hope to apply for merit badge by Wed. Any help with editing before then will be appreciated.
Sara~~~ FarmGirl Sister #6034 8/25/14
FarmGirl of the Month Sept 2015. & Feb 2019
Lord put your arm around my shoulders and your hand over my mouth.
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| YellowRose |
Posted - May 31 2020 : 08:53:19 AM
Thanks Deb. I'll change it here and on the original. That's the kind of thing spell check doesn't catch and I need another set of eyes to get it right.
Sara~~~ FarmGirl Sister #6034 8/25/14
FarmGirl of the Month Sept 2015. & Feb 2019
Lord put your arm around my shoulders and your hand over my mouth.
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| City Chick |
Posted - May 31 2020 : 08:06:06 AM
The only thing that stood out to me:
“Well if you’re not leaving at least stay out of mine way.”
Should be my way.
Love to read what else you have. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Farm Girl #790
https://twitter.com/EllieFunt
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| YellowRose |
Posted - May 30 2020 : 4:11:32 PM
Thanks Debbie. I've missed writing about Pearl and her adventures. Maybe this little story will inspire me to write more. Did you by any chance see anything I need to correct?
Sara~~~ FarmGirl Sister #6034 8/25/14
FarmGirl of the Month Sept 2015. & Feb 2019
Lord put your arm around my shoulders and your hand over my mouth.
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| debbieklann |
Posted - May 30 2020 : 3:57:50 PM
I've missed reading your stories! I enjoyed this one!
Debbie Klann
Farmgirl Sister #770
2018 Farmgirl of the Year
"Well behaved women seldom make history"....Laurel Thatcher Ulrich |
