| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Joey |
Posted - Apr 04 2013 : 3:37:04 PM
I know we have discussed this before but I want to bring it up again. First, thank you to all the new farm girls who have stepped up right out of the gate hosting and participating in swaps and barter. It is wonderful to see new names and swaps.
I do have 2 complaints, and maybe it's just me but...
Any of you who have swapped or bartered with me know that I love words SO much. If the real purpose is to get to know our sister farm girls better, I would think that a few words would be necessary. I have received several swaps/barter when someone has just put something in a box, labeled it "for you from me" and sent it. It hurts me because no matter what thing you send me what I really want is the little note enclosed. You don't have to write a lot, (although I always do, but that's just me)-just a little something about your day or farm or family or whatever...just something a little personal. I have every little note someone has sent me put away in my MJF box and I reread them often.
Secondly, again lately I've seen pictures of several swaps where so many tuck-ins have been included that what the swap was really about is lost in the pile of things. I thought the tuck-in was supposed to be a LITTLE something or two put in to "sweeten the pot" a little. Farm girls have such loving, giving hearts and we all want so much to make our sisters feel special, but I think we have gone WAY overboard lately. The swap is supposed to be about the SWAP, not the stuff. I also don't want to give the new sisters we get the idea that they can't join the swap and just do the swap without a bunch of tuck-ins too. I know a few girls who have not entered swaps because they just couldn't send the extras and did not want their swap buddy to be disappointed. Maybe I'm just noticing it more now because we've gotten better about sharing pictures. I don't know but I would love feedback on this, please.
Thanks for listening. I hope you are all having a happy day. Joey
Well behaved women rarely make history. |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Beverley |
Posted - Jan 11 2014 : 8:50:13 PM
so is there going to be a just tuck in swap. that sounds like fun to me.. surprise!!!
Folks will know how large your soul is by the way you treat a dog....Charles F. Doran
beverley baggett
Beverley with an extra E...
https://sites.google.com/site/bevsdoggies/
http://bevsdoggies.blogspot.com/ |
| Denise Ann |
Posted - Jan 03 2014 : 7:01:12 PM
Brenda,
I agree with you. Its disappointing to sign up for a swap, be assigned a partner, send your information and never hear from that person.
I enjoy adding tuck ins it adds to the fun. I never expect a certain amount of things and just enjoy the fun things that are in the mail!! Farmgirl mail is the best and always brightens my day.
Denise |
| Joey |
Posted - Jan 01 2014 : 7:32:38 PM
Hi all,
I am very surprised to see this subject again. There was a HUGE discussion about this in April-multiple pages/posts that have not been included this time around for some reason. It got ugly enough that Mary Jane had to close the topic on the forum!! Since I originated this post on the forum, I am asking to please close it again. I never want a repeat of the April posts again. If y'all want to have another discussion about this, please start a new post on the forum. Thanks so much. Joey
Well behaved women rarely make history. |
| pstill |
Posted - Jan 01 2014 : 10:03:23 AM
I have to agree here. I save all my little notes and mail arts and cards and then I scrapbook them into my "Farmgirl Book" ... I have recieved many swaps that have gotten to me with no name, no FG# no nothing and Then I can't figure out if I have gotten my swap from my partner or not. I recieved a RAOK card and I didn't know who it was from, so I couldn't even get on the thread to give thanks for that person thinking about me.
I know we are all busy with our day to day lives and the things that go on, but just a moment to sit down and write something out and add your name to it, makes some of us happy to see, because their may be some of us out there that look forward to it, it brings a little bit more happiness to a life that may not be too happy for that person at the moment.
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. ~Mark Twain
Pennie :)
Farmgirl #5381 |
| GinghamGirl |
Posted - Jan 01 2014 : 07:39:14 AM
I appreciate hearing everyone's feedback as well! I have to say - I LOVE to give, "It's better to give then receive" definitely applies to me. I give to make others feel special, I certainly DO NOT expect any tucks! I'm thrilled if it's kept just to the swap on their end, I just love being able to share and love others through gifts. That's my goal! Notes - I always (unless I forgot??!!) write a little something, but certainly don't expect anything, again, in return. My expectations that I set for me are to give to others, but not to receive. Someone once said to me, you're not getting married for you, but you are getting married for your husband-to-be. I apply this to other areas in life - I'm not partaking in swaps for me, but rather to bless others! There are so many different ladies on this forum, which I think is amazing and wonderful!, and I can see that there would be some problems in differences in opinions, which I think is natural. That being said - I LOVE how everyone is responding in a loving manner to each other - kudos to all of you! I think we should keep going on how we have been - Joey has had some wonderful colour swaps that were strict with rules and no tucks (which is great for those of you who don't want to participate in tucks) and others have had some wonderful swaps with tucks allowed (which is great for the tuck people!) so I think we've got it right folks - we're accommodating to everyone's needs :) Hugs to you all! Joyce |
| Beth Jones |
Posted - Jan 01 2014 : 06:28:36 AM
I've enjoyed reading your responses....First of all, I try to do my best on my swap item!! It IS about the swap...Then, a note to say hello is great, but tucks are entirely up to the sender. I agree with TammyC and others and their comments. I have had to cut back because of postage and such. This year I am only signing for handmade swaps or small swaps because of the postage. It is about the fun and simple pleasures such as receiving something in the mail....to much thought or angst about the swap takes the fun out of it! Smiles, and a very Happy New Year!!!!
You can never be to kind! |
| churunga |
Posted - Dec 31 2013 : 12:23:12 PM
When I first joined this site, I realized very early that I had to sign up for a limited number of swaps. That was my first lesson. I want to do so much and I have to be mindful of my time, talent and motivation. So my first piece of advice is not to sign up for a swap you think you can't fulfill on time.
I like tuck ins and for me, they are not necessary. I always send at least one from my stack of folded paper stars. Each one takes about 20 minutes to make, not including gathering and cutting the paper. It is a small thing and everyone I have given one to smiles so I stick with that.
I send a small note with every swap along with the pattern or instructions for how I made the project. I also keep all the little notes I receive and refer back to them to get some idea of what a farm girl might like for a tuck or a surprise gift. I send a thank you note to every swap partner I have whose address I know. I believe that this is important. I am sending a longer letter now at the end of the year to all the farm girls with whom I have swapped, bartered or bought from. I love to write. Can you tell? 
I try very hard to get my swaps out on time and I apologize for not doing this well. I do, however, keep my partner informed of my progress. This too is important. I try not to hassle a partner who hasn't sent a package or any information on their progress. I believe that they feel bad enough already and I do not need to add to that.
I am one of those organization geeks. I keep a spreadsheet of all the swaps and barters I am in to reference and update. I also keep a list of farm girls, what swaps or barters I was in with them and their particular interests. I liked looking at the Christmas Stocking Swap for ideas and I will be looking at the Easter Basket Swap for some more. I like to know that what I am sending is appreciated.
For me personally, if anyone gets something from me that they do not want, I will not be offended if they pass it on to someone else.
Last thing, I would like to see more pictures of the received swaps. I really enjoy seeing the things I have made shared with everyone.
Marie, Sister #5142
Try everything once and the fun things twice. |
| Ladybek9756 |
Posted - Dec 31 2013 : 11:38:29 AM
Well said Mel. I think that the important thing to remember is to enjoy the swap. It is not what you get that should be the key focus of the swap. When I join a swap it is to use the talents God gave me for someone else. Tucks, what are they really? For me the swap is the focal point and what you send is part of the swap. Whether they are the items mention for the swap or the extra's that everyone is so consumed with. I believe it should be the focus of sending to your swap partner, a farm girl sister something from your heart regardless of what that is. Do you go shopping and just buy anything or do you really think about the farm girl you are buying for. That is the soul purpose of swaps, not the notes, not the tucks, and not even the swap itself. The real focus should be the farm girl whom you are taking the time to either use your talents (be in making something homemade or buying that special item you know that will put a smile on their face and make their day). That is my opinion. I think that most have lost the true meaning of swaps. Swaps as I have come to understand is about sharing your love with another.
Becky
May the stars carry your sadness away. May the flowers fill your heart with beauty, and may hope forever wipe away your tears. |
| Kirksmom71 |
Posted - Dec 31 2013 : 08:57:51 AM
Happy New Year Everyone!!!!!!! I was just going through the older forums and ran across this thread and thought maybe it would be a good one to refresh! Start the new year with renewed enthusiasm! :)
My best to all,
Mel
Sassy City Girl with Farmgirl Fantasies! |
| tammyc |
Posted - Apr 10 2013 : 8:28:44 PM
Cheers to that Darlene!
"Be who you are and say what you like because the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind" - Dr. Seuss |
| darlenelovesart |
Posted - Apr 10 2013 : 7:16:23 PM
Yes I agree Debbie and Tammyc I just have fun doing it and just feel good that I can make someone feel good. I just love being here and knowing all of you.
blessings
darlene
I have learned that to have a good friend is the purest of all God's gifts, for it is a love that has no exchange of payment.
by Frances Farmer
Just follow God unquestioningly.
Because you love Him so, for if you trust His judgment there is nothing you need to know.
I trust in you Jesus... |
| tammyc |
Posted - Apr 10 2013 : 6:24:47 PM
Yep, I'm with Connie and Debbie....we each need to do what feels right for us. Like Debbie, I follow my heart with giving. I am often out shopping and see something that is just perfect for a farmgirl friend, so I pick it up to surprise them. Do I expect something in return....absolutely not!!! My fun is in the giving. However, have I received wonderful
surprise farmgirl packages in the mail...absolutely...many times :)
That said, what is unacceptable to me is when a swap partner never even acknowledges that they received your swap. Now I get delivery confirmation on everything, so I know that they did receive their swap. It hasn't happened to me too often, but did happen recently in a swap. Not a word posted on the forum or privately thanking me or her other swap partner. That to me is the height of rudeness. That is much more upsetting than getting a lovely package with a short note or even a post-it. Like Julie said, sometimes I'm in such a hurry to get to the post office that I forget to bring along addresses, much less write a long letter. I've had to call poor Debbie from the post office to get an address more than once...LOL. I have to think that my partner will open my package and know that it was sent with love and thoughtfulness, even without a letter.
Like Connie said, sometimes I get more than I give, sometimes I give more than I get. It doesn't matter in the least! I will say again though, that I would never ever participate in a swap that had stringent rules about no "tucks"....forget it. Swaps are supposed to be fun...if it's not fun for you don't participate...bottom line. I pick and choose my swaps very carefully for many reasons. There have been many swaps come up lately that have been hosted by new farmgirls which is great. However, I've seen some farmgirls join these swaps that have been so unpleasant to swap with in the past that I just won't participate if they are in the swap. Since the new farmgirls don't know as much of the history and I don't want to spoil their fun as hostess, I just don't join...problem solved.
To sum it up...if it feels right go with it, if it doesn't don't!
"Be who you are and say what you like because the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind" - Dr. Seuss |
| Blessed in Colorado |
Posted - Apr 10 2013 : 2:48:43 PM
I agreed with Tammy, Julie and others, I like the tucks in, I don't always do it but when I can I do. And, I try to always add a note but sometimes I do forget. On my swaps I never got so much tuck ins that you could not tell what the swap was, just little things like soap, tea, notecards little things that I love and always need.
Why do I do the swaps because I love giving, I was always taught it is better to give than to receive, quality not quantity. I always prefer a homemade gift but not everyone has the same talents. I knit and crochet that is about it as I do not have the imagination that a lot of our Sisters have to be so darn crafty.
I follow my heart with my giving, sometimes I will send a gift, or card as a surprise to one of my farmgirl sisters who need a little love or a hug, sometimes I send anonymously, that is just what makes me feel good and my heart sing when she writes that I made her day. That is what it is all about for me giving. And, y'all know I love farmgirl mail, heck I repeat it enough, and when I do receive a gift or card in the mail, it makes me feel so good that someone cared enough and thought of me that day, but if I never received anything that would be fine too, I would not stop giving because I did not get something in return.
I hope I do not offend anyone as I do not mean to, this is just how I feel, I follow my heart with barters, swaps and all things related to farmgirls.
Thanks for letting me express my opinion, as I believe we all have a right to our own opinions and feelings, whether we agreed or disagree with one another.
Hugs to all,
Debbie
Happiness is a warm fire at 9000 feet.
www.etsy.com/shop/CollectThisTreasures
www.etsy.com/shop/MountainWingsAntique
http://debbielynnf.blogspot.com
http://myworld.ebay.com/debbt |
| Killarney |
Posted - Apr 10 2013 : 2:29:36 PM
DITTO! Tammy C. Do what feels right for you!! and what makes you happy! This is not high school, I left that behind years ago! Sometimes I give more than I get, and sometimes I get more than I give! Depends on the swap! and how busy I am, or if my MS is flaring. I would hate for the swaps to have strict rules!!!
Imagine....#3392 |
| kysheeplady |
Posted - Apr 09 2013 : 3:30:20 PM
I don't think that there is any easy answer to this. I have done a few swaps and for no reason other than I just don't want to, more than likely I won't do another.
I did send a thanks and a small note as to what I made or what I used to make it. And wished them much enjoyment with the items.
For me I am a giver always have been, and I am at a place in my life where I can give, and have more than enough to give.
But, I also do NOT want to make a swap partner feel less about their items because I gave more. It is not fair to them. And I can ONLY hope that I did NOT make my past swap partners feel that way.
But, a simple solution would be to have swaps with tuck ins and swaps with out ... which would make everyone happy ... don't you think.
And as for the note, to me that is just common courtesy ...
Teri
"There are black sheep in every flock"
White Sheep Farm
www.whitesheepfarm.com |
| MagnoliaWhisper |
Posted - Apr 09 2013 : 2:53:20 PM
i've never done letters either....i am not much of a letter writer period. i join the swap just to have fun swapping the actual swap item....otherwise i would join a penpal thing...
The reason i stopped doing swaps-50% of the time, my partner would forget to do hers...would promise and promise soon, soon, etc.....then after a year or so apologize and say they just couldn't do it...and i would never get my end of the swap. the other 50% i NEVER received a tuck, in fact...kind of sad the effort that went into the actual swap item....i would spend a lot of time and effort and the other person, would add ribbon to something premade....um...ok....so it just wasn't fun any more...i decided i should just make myself what i wanted with my time, that way i actually got something! lol haha
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
| FieldsofThyme |
Posted - Apr 09 2013 : 2:31:33 PM
I did the post card swap a few years ago, and some arrived with nothing but a few words. Many did not send me one back. I am guilty of sending off a package without a note sometimes. It's never intentional and sometimes I simply forget.
My Life: http://pioneerwomanatheart.blogspot.com/
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| Joey |
Posted - Apr 08 2013 : 10:48:39 PM
Just to clarify, I am not writing long letters in my swap either. I generally send a notecard that I've written. I finally understand that it is hard for some people to do that and that is OK.
Ruby, I liked both of your ideas of a swap with no tucks and of a
swap of just tuck-ins. I'll have to think about that.
I appreciate the feedback. Joey
Well behaved women rarely make history. |
| treelady |
Posted - Apr 08 2013 : 7:12:40 PM
Thank you Tammy, those were my thoughts also. To add tucks or not should be up to each individual and I too would not join a swap that prohibited it.
As to notes or letters, I don't always know when I am going to get to the post office and there are times when I have to go on the spur of the moment so I quickly get my package sealed up and forget about putting a note in there. I know most people try to add a personal note but it isn't always easy to find the time to write more than a Thank You on a sticky note.
A little rain can straighten a flower stem. A little love can change a life.
Max Lucado |
| tammyc |
Posted - Apr 08 2013 : 6:41:38 PM
Well, to weigh in on this topic....tucks.....I totally agree with Darlene. They are lovely to receive, but certainly not expected. I enjoy adding tucks to my swaps and will continue to do so. I have a lot of fun picking things out for my swap partners. I certainly have never received a swap where the tucks took away from the swap itself. They are just that...little extras that are wonderful but not something I expect. Tucks do not have to cost time or money. I have received such tucks as tea bags, a handwritten or typed recipe card, a postcard, a package of seeds, etc. I am sure items such as these would not cost any extra in postage. My point is that a tuck doesn't have to be expensive or handmade and you don't have to send a dozen tucks (or any tucks if you don't wish to).
Just to say...if I saw a swap that said no tuck-ins, I would definitely not join. Swaps are meant to be fun for everyone, and if someone enjoys sending little extras they should be able to do so.
For me...I don't enjoy writing long letters and don't think I'm good at it. I always include a card with a little note, however, and I've always received the same. I've never had any complaints, so I'll keep doing the same. I love receiving letters, I'm just not good at writing them.
"Be who you are and say what you like because the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind" - Dr. Seuss |
| Ruby V |
Posted - Apr 08 2013 : 5:30:03 PM
I just had another idea - what about a swap that's just for tuck-ins? {laughing} A tuck-ins only swap! It could be interesting - kind of like a mystery swap, no idea what you're going to receive!
Ruby ~ Sister #3597 |
| Ruby V |
Posted - Apr 08 2013 : 2:02:17 PM
I'm glad to know I'm not the only one. I haven't joined many swaps because I can't afford the high postage to add tuck-ins. Now that I see others feel the same way, I'm wondering if we can come up to a solution? Maybe some of the swaps could state in their rules - please no tuck-ins for this swap? Would that work?
Ruby ~ Sister #3597 |
| Joey |
Posted - Apr 08 2013 : 1:27:45 PM
Thanks for the feedback. I think Margo hit the nail on the head for me. Since I posted this thread I have had 3 gals e-mail me personally because they did not want to leave their comments on the forum. All 3 of them told me that they used to swap but do not do so anymore because they could not afford the time to make, buy, send tuck-ins or the extra postage money and that the focus now is who can send more tuck-ins and the swap was lost in the process.
I don't know what the solution is but it makes me sad that everyone does not feel welcome to participate in creative swaps. I don't think this is what farm girls intended. Joey
Well behaved women rarely make history. |
| Penny Wise |
Posted - Apr 08 2013 : 08:47:59 AM
joey-i'm at worl so can only write quickly - i am with you about tucks. i love giving however i am not always able to think of clever things nor do i do :crafties" - mental block..
i would love to add more to my comments later when ican think!
i enjoyed this thread tho cuz often the overwhelming tucks that i see keep me from even joining a swap...
Farmgirl # 2139
proud member of the Farmgirls of the Southwest Henhouse
~*~ counting my pennies; my dreams are adding up!~*~ |
| Joey |
Posted - Apr 05 2013 : 10:16:00 PM
Thanks for the feedback. Because it is all so easy for me (my JOB is all talking and listening) It never occurred to me that writing a little note would be hard for some people. Diana and Ruby, it's not about being cleaver or creative, really. Everyone is precious and unique. What I enjoyed most last year was the 5 weeks we spent crossing the country because I got to talk to people all over the USA. What utter joy it was for me to meet people. I'd treasure a postcard, especially if you wrote on the back why you liked the post card place or the last time you were there, etc. I just love hearing about someone's family or animals or farm or dinner, etc.
I guess what Ruby said is my point. I don't want anyone to feel guilty that they can't send tuck-ins. Sometimes when I look at pictures I can't tell what the swap was about; or they sent 1 swap thing and 8 other things. I think it is just too much.
Thanks for sharing your opinions sisters. I appreciate the feedback. Joey
Well behaved women rarely make history. |
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