| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| clothedinscarlet |
Posted - Jan 12 2010 : 1:09:09 PM
I have been suddenly hit the past week that I may come to a day very soon when I will have to grieve a loss. And it's going to be very hard for me because it's the loss of a dream. A dream of raising my very own farmgirl. I am a mom of 3 little boys and I am feeling myself stretched already. DH and I are back and forth weekly about whether we want to have any more children. Originally we said we wanted 4, but neither of us can see us surviving another boy. They are just A LOT of work, especially when they're all so young. I'm already realizing how fast my littlest guy is growing and I know that there will come that baby bug trying to bite in a few months when I'm longing for another newborn, but I think I might just be done and that makes me so sad  I've always wanted a little girl to teach to sew, knit, cook, and garden. Someone whom I could dress in lace and ruffles. I'm seeing that dream fading and I feel like a part of my heart is dying.
Are there any other mamas of boys out there that had to face this sadness and be OK with it? Somedays I am OK with the thought of being done, but then there's the part of me that just holds out hope that I'll get that little girl. I'm totally frightened by the thought of becoming a family that I know that has 7 boys, no girls, and now their kids are having kids and they are only producing boys. Not that there's anything wrong with boys. I LOVE my boys with all my heart, but they are a lot of work in the early years.
Siobhan, wife to my best friend, Trent, and mommy to Camden (11/28/05) and Bennett (7/11/07). and Truman (7/28/09) |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| knittinchick |
Posted - May 28 2010 : 1:58:07 PM
My Mom is the only girl out of 5, so sometimes she jokes that my grandparents wanted another girl! But I think God knew that my grandparents would have granddaughters to spoil! I'm the only grandchild on my Mom's side so far, but I hope my uncle and soon-to-be aunt have more girls!
God's Blessings,
Megan aka Loretta Rae
At heart, I am both a sassy city girl and a down-home country gal. |
| Roxy7 |
Posted - May 28 2010 : 06:40:50 AM
My cousin had 4 girls before he stopped trying for a boy.
For me, it took so long to have a baby...I didnt think I could have one at all. I was working on trying to close that door in my life when my son came. I would have liked to have had another child, but my age and health meant that was not likely. DS is 4 now and I wish he had a brother but its just not meant to be. I feel blessed that I have one child. I know so many women who could not have even that. I hope you find your peace. |
| maggie14 |
Posted - May 26 2010 : 08:35:34 AM
I had to ask my mom which was easier and she said girls were. lol I have 2 older brothers ( 19 and 18 years old) and one younger sister ( 14 years old). My brothers can be handfuls at times but there great. :) So is my sister.
Hugs,
Channah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :) |
| homsteddinmom |
Posted - May 25 2010 : 05:03:55 AM
I have a girl and boy. I know what you mean about getting the baby fever. I had no choice but to close the factory down after my last i was 26 years old. I so wanted more. Now add 10 years to that and i dont want anymore! My oldest is gonna be 13 and youngest 10 so got my hands full now...lol
Homesteading Mom in East Texas. Raising chickens, Rabbits and goats here on my farm! |
| classygram |
Posted - May 20 2010 : 3:40:56 PM
I have one each and I think raising a boy is much easier than a girl. DD has two boys and one girl and she says the same. Enjoy those little guys they grow up to be Men too soon. My DS is 35 and I still tell him he's my baby boy!
Hugs, Brenda
"What lies behind us, and what lies before us are small matter compared to what lies within us."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Seek reasons to Love..In every sigment of everyday-look for something that brings forth within you a feeling of Love-Abraham Hicks |
| Kerbear |
Posted - May 20 2010 : 2:17:52 PM
I was just telling my DH the other day that I wouldnt mind having a second boy because our son has been so much fun. I dont think I would know what to do with a girl either, Siobhan. Boys are so much fun!
You have so many wonderful things to share with your boys! And boys do love their Mommas.
~Kerry Anne
Farmgirl Sister #975 |
| clothedinscarlet |
Posted - May 20 2010 : 08:47:15 AM
Thanks Sherrye! I think I am finally coming to terms with it and actually loving the idea of raising all boys now. Especially when their little friends who are girls come over to play in our yard, I realize that I don't know a thing about girls and they kinda scare me. The good thing is that I am at home with my boys and they are always very interested in what I'm doing, whether it be cooking or gardening or sewing or knitting. I think that I will still be able to teach them to do a lot of what I would teach a girl. I mean, what better way to bless my future daughters-in-law than to teach my sons to cook and clean up after themselves, right? :) I am also finding as they get older that they become so laid back and easy going and that is good for me. I don't know now that I could even handle the drama that comes wrapped in pink and bows LOL!
Farmgirl Sister #1110
Siobhan - AKA Liza-Jane (my farmgirl name), wife to my best friend, Trent, and mommy to Camden (11/28/05) and Bennett (7/11/07). and Truman (7/28/09) |
| sherrye |
Posted - May 20 2010 : 08:00:45 AM
i am the mom of 4 boys. its the finest thing i ever did. the dynamics were perfect for me. i enjoyed every minute. i was so discouraged when my last was a boy. well that ended quick. he is such a fine man now. now i have 4 granddaughters and 6 grandsons. so we are still throwing a lot a boys around here. i am a tough cookie and boys worked for me. i taught them to cook clean drive hunt fish. they taught me to lighten up laugh not to sweat the small stuff and to ask for help when i needed it. i have 5 strong men to love me and care for me and to celebrate my life with. happy days sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farmgirl #1014
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| LouisvilleMom |
Posted - May 18 2010 : 8:40:53 PM
I am the mom of 4 boys and I understand what you are saying but I actually prefer my boys! I love my friends girls but ALL of them have told me it is much harder to raise a girl. I know it is all a matter of preference but I think God gave us what he knew we would raise best. I do wish my youngest were not special needs but boys are an absolute blast! Give me a dirty creek and a bucket of crawdads over tea parties anyday!
SAHM mom to four great boys.
http://ksfarnsworth.blogspot.com/ |
| greentea |
Posted - Apr 21 2010 : 09:43:07 AM
I'm in the same boat. I have one son, and would love to have a girl too. But my marriage is unpleasant so i can't add another child. I thought I'd come to terms with this, until my son started to realize he's a boy...around age 4, and suddenly it's harder again.
My son's blog (designed to keep in touch with Grandma and all her friends:
http://babycork.blogspot.com/ |
| vintage saver |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 03:56:45 AM
My son only had 2 little girls, no son, but they stopped anyway. I have to say they used to be little devils but not now. Everyone would say, "How pretty, look aat that long black hair," and I would think "if you only knew." lol |
| natesgirl |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 03:45:54 AM
I am in the opposite of your shoes. I have three girls and have always wanted a boy. I never liked the lace and ruffles thing for myself and was actually horrified when my first daughter started insisting on it! She is now fifteen and is ALL GIRL! My middle daughter is my tomboy and that has softened the blow for me. She is 9 now and works by my side in the garden and the barn like a trooper. My youngest still has a ways to go before we know which way she'll turn. She's only 16 months old.
I was told when I was only 14 that I'd never have children. At 17 I had my first and firgured that was it for me, my miracle baby. That's why the ruffles and lace so horrified me. Then 6 years later came another surprise, number 2. It really helped when she turned out more like her momma and became my tomboy. Then 8 years later, number 3. I didn't even know I was pregnant till I was 5 months along! I was told she would have downs syndrome. My DH and I never even hesitated about keeping her. Turns out the doctor was wrong and she doesn't have it. We were blessed with 3 miracles and we have accepted that there will be no little boys for us. My mom had 3 girls as well and always wanted a boy. Now she has three grandsons and four granddaughters. I guess I'll have to hope for the same.
On a side note just to share a giggle... My dr told me I absolutely had to stop with this one. He said at the rate I was spacing them, 6years then 8 years, my next one would be born in 2018 and he was retiring in 2016! He said he would not come out of retirement just for me and he wouldn't trust anyone else to deliver me so I had to stop! LOL!
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
| maggie14 |
Posted - Mar 01 2010 : 2:10:30 PM
Siobhan, How are you doing dear?? I have been thinking about you lots and hope everything is going good for you! My prayers are with you! Let me know if I can do anything!
Hugs,
Channah
Friendship is not something that can be bought, it is earned. |
| Rea231 |
Posted - Mar 01 2010 : 08:29:31 AM
I raised 2 boys... Although they balked at the ruffles and lace both are awesome in the kitchen. I am hoping for grand babies to dress in pink!
The art of teaching is the art of assisting discovery. |
| CountryBorn |
Posted - Feb 26 2010 : 2:38:12 PM
Siobhan, I think if you reread your posts you will see you have already pretty much made up your mind. You are just coming to terms with your decision. It will be the right one for you and your family and that is what is truly important.Relax a bit and enjoy the roller coater ride of raising kids, theres no other experience like it!
Hugs MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
| aunt boby |
Posted - Feb 17 2010 : 08:50:24 AM
I had three boys when I had the same desire of having a little girl. Number four was my little darling girl. I would have stopped at four no matter what. I can totally relate to the work of raising boys. Have you ever heard the saying- "Mothers of little boys work from son up to son down." It's the truth!! Your boys are so young, I'm sure you'll have plenty of time in the future to decide about having another child. And like others said you can teach your boys the same things you would teach a girl. One of my boys has sewn a pillow with my sewing machine and another loves to make things in the kitchen. And they all love to do crafty projects. But the lace and ruffles thing might not go over so well!! LOL
POOR IS THE MAN WHO CANNOT ENJOY THE SIMPLE THINGS IN LIFE- anonymous |
| LynnDinKY |
Posted - Feb 01 2010 : 9:14:40 PM
Hey!!! I came after three boys! 5 years and 364 days after the last son was born. I happen to think that I was worth the wait! LOL!
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30 |
| farmmilkmama |
Posted - Jan 27 2010 : 6:50:37 PM
Siobhan - it is tough knowing whether or not its time to be done...especially when you only have children of all one gender or the other. Hubby and I made the decision last year with only boys under our belt. It was tough, but we felt it was the right decision. Its very easy (I know because I was there a year ago) to sit on this side of things (meaning where you are) and imagine what life would be like with another child (girl), but one can't be sure of what the future holds. You wouldn't want to shoot for a girl in the hopes of raising a darling of a farmgirl when there's always the chance you might get anti-farmgirl kinda gal! Don't discount the tough work you're doing right now raising your little men!! It's a good thing! I think if you want to try for another child, then try for another child. But realize another child IS another child. Which, as we call it in boyland over here, could be chaos times infinity!!
--* FarmMilkMama *--
Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde |
| snowberryfarm |
Posted - Jan 24 2010 : 5:30:06 PM
I am all for adoption, and know many people that had all sons and went ahead and adopted a daughter. It has been such a blessing for them. Best of luck with whatever you decide!!
www.Snowberryfarm.blogspot.com |
| sacredwolf |
Posted - Jan 17 2010 : 08:34:08 AM
I guess I am really lucky you could say, I have it evened out 2boys, 2girls. My oldest and youngest are girls and two middle are boys and let me tell you the girls give me a run for my money. Not trying to make them sound bad because all my children are wonderful but wow girls are tough (at least my oldest). My youngest is not so bad yet but she is only two and a huge tomboy, already loves to fish, hunt and has to be right out there with all the animals all the time. Boys are more up in your face (which I like). I don't have to guess...if there naughty, they are naughty if they are good, they are good. But the best thing I can tell you is just keep your head up. We planned on stopping at three, we did not think we could handle anymore then that. I was tired all the time and finances were really tight but then came Autumn my two year old. We were not supposed to be able to become pregnant at that time but nothing is ever certain. When I told my husband he just turned around and walked away. He was actually upset. I was worried but happy. Actually loved the idea of having another baby but worried that I would not be able to handle another child. Now Autumn is two and neither her dad or I could imagine things any different. Four kids do take more then three on every scale of life but actually things are better for us now. I like I said before just keep your head up and if it is meant to be it will happen. Hope only for the best for you...HUGS! |
| Beverley |
Posted - Jan 15 2010 : 9:20:24 PM
I have one daughter and one son and my daughter wants nothing to do with being a farmgirl. My son actually cooks better than her and can talk care of himself around the house better too. But I do have 3 grand daughters that love being with grammy on the farm so God does know what he is doing!!!
Folks will know how large your soul is by the way you treat a dog....Charles F. Doran
beverley baggett Beverley with an extra E...
http://bevsdoggies.googlepages.com/ |
| JustAnAllAmericanGirl |
Posted - Jan 15 2010 : 11:39:22 AM
I only have one boy and we are stopping there. I was raised with four brothers so to me only having a son seems normal. However, yes there are moments that having a little girls seems wonderful but I'll tell you what, there is nothing like hearing my little eight year old complement me on how nice I look or put his arms around me and tell me I'm "the best mom in the world". I suppose I just don't think about what I don't have and instead completely love and enjoy that which I do have. I have faith that it will all work out for you because life always does. Jamie
www.JustAnAllAmericanGirl.blogspot.com |
| clothedinscarlet |
Posted - Jan 14 2010 : 6:56:26 PM
quote:
Originally posted by 1badmamawolf
I raised 3 boys and 1 girl, my daughter is a dream child (shes now 32, teaches middle school, and maybe has found her dream man), she was by far the hardest to raise because her Daddy and I worried a whole lot more about her, cause she was a girl. She is tuff and smart and beautiful, but when she matured and the boys started sniffing around, OMG, I thought my hubby was gonna end up in prison, he would answer the door, and absoulutly scare them to death, only a hand full survived his talks. She would be so damn angry at us for embarressing her, I would tell her I would rather her be mad at us, then her hurt, in any way, shape or form. Cause if that ever happened, I told her, her daddy would be in prison for killing the boy who hurt her. my boys were 100% boys, and got in their share of "boy" trouble, nothing ever major, and one of them did have a girlfriend that I wanted to string up (long, long story), but 2 ended up with a girl that we very much approved of , and gave us 2 wonderful grandsons. One other thing, remember "God has a special place in Heaven, for the Mother of 3 boys". When your boys marry, you will get daughters out of the deal, and maybe granddaughters too.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children"
That's the only thing that scares me about a girl. DH likes to say (and sorry if this offends anyone, but I'll try to say it nicely), "we only have to worry about controlling 3 hoohas, if we had a girl, we'd have to worry about all the other hoohas that we can't control." LOL!
Siobhan, wife to my best friend, Trent, and mommy to Camden (11/28/05) and Bennett (7/11/07). and Truman (7/28/09) |
| 1badmamawolf |
Posted - Jan 14 2010 : 4:23:54 PM
I raised 3 boys and 1 girl, my daughter is a dream child (shes now 32, teaches middle school, and maybe has found her dream man), she was by far the hardest to raise because her Daddy and I worried a whole lot more about her, cause she was a girl. She is tuff and smart and beautiful, but when she matured and the boys started sniffing around, OMG, I thought my hubby was gonna end up in prison, he would answer the door, and absoulutly scare them to death, only a hand full survived his talks. She would be so damn angry at us for embarressing her, I would tell her I would rather her be mad at us, then her hurt, in any way, shape or form. Cause if that ever happened, I told her, her daddy would be in prison for killing the boy who hurt her. my boys were 100% boys, and got in their share of "boy" trouble, nothing ever major, and one of them did have a girlfriend that I wanted to string up (long, long story), but 2 ended up with a girl that we very much approved of , and gave us 2 wonderful grandsons. One other thing, remember "God has a special place in Heaven, for the Mother of 3 boys". When your boys marry, you will get daughters out of the deal, and maybe granddaughters too.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
| lilwing |
Posted - Jan 14 2010 : 3:19:18 PM
You never know though! ..... My mom had three girls.... and she wasn't planning exactly to have my brother.....and it happened! (kind of the other way around and it wasn't exactly like she was wanting a boy..) Sometimes God surprises you and says "HERE... You are having another! And it's a GIRL..."
I hope to have a little girl too. I don't have any yet. I'd like to, it just hasn't happened.I don't know what I will do if I have boys... (though I will love them just the same) On the other hand, My mother-in-law always wanted a little girl and she got three boys.... she decided to stop .... I just say ....Let God handle it..... if it is meant to be....it will happen!
~~~~
Proud Farmgirl #775
http://maggielousdaughter.blogspot.com
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