| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| ChickieMama |
Posted - Mar 26 2011 : 8:28:32 PM
Hello sisters,
My husband is just not getting this whole farmgirl sisterhood, glamping, etc. thing. My heart is just breaking. I desperately want to have an old trailer and fix it up and even though we have the resources he thinks that it is a ridiculous idea. I even showed him some ideas in Mary Jane's Outpost book thinking that visuals might help and he just shook his head. My question is- do any of you girls out there have the same problem and if so, how do you deal with it? Thanks so much for listening.
Farmgirl Sister#2808
"Happy Hens make Happy Eggs" |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| oregonatural |
Posted - Jan 19 2012 : 2:52:26 PM
You know, there is a WHOLE science about when to ask your sweet man for things. Never ask when he's just finished a day's work. Never ask for things when he's tired or hungry or the kids are crying. Wait till he's rested, happy, cuddly, and then put the request in a compliment sandwich. First remind him how grateful you are for the GREAT job he did on something he did for you. Then, tell him how much you'd appreciate his hard work on XYZ, THEN tell him how lucky you feel to have such a handy supportive guy in your life. Viola! If that doesn't do it, mention how great your ex was at something. If that doesn't light a fire under him, save your money and have it done or do it yourself!
My random wacky off-grid blog: http://oregonnatural.blogspot.com/
Blessings on you from the bottom of my mountain girl heart! |
| Celticheart |
Posted - Jan 13 2012 : 10:04:21 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Bensgrandma
He tells me he hates it when I say "I've been thinking...." because that means work for him. On the other hand whenever he wants to try a new project or hobby I am right on board with it
OMG! That's what my DH says too! When I say "I've been thinking..." He says "I hate it when you think! It just means work for me."
And whoever said that about the chickens and the goats mine is just the opposite. We have chickens and he so far refuses to have goats. But I'm still working on that. And bees.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/HugsandStitches
http://www.etsy.com/shop/ACharmingExperience
OMG! That's what my DH says too! When I say "I've been thinking..." He says "I hate it when you think! It just means work for me."
And whoever said that about the chickens and the goats mine is just the opposite. We have chickens and he so far refuses to have goats. But I'm still working on that. And bees.
"Let us never forget that the cultivation of the earth is the most important labor of man. When tillage begins, other art follows. The farmers, therefore, are the founders of civilization."
Daniel Webster
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| artfulsister |
Posted - Jan 09 2012 : 8:13:59 PM
Angela, I am so glad you started this thread. I am sure it is a topic many of us are interested in.
My husband is wonderful, but he too does not get this farmgirl stuff. We have been together over 20 years, and he knows having a farm has been my lifelong dream. But to him? If I say the word "farm" he gets all quiet and broody. He hears "farm" and he thinks dairy farm, up at the crack of dawn, with so much work you don't have a minute to yourself. I keep telling him, that is not what I am picturing. I have to describe to him what a farm means to me. He is starting to get it. But I do think he is just fearful that he will have to do some of the work (or maybe all?). He is though ready to do it. I just wish he didn't look like a dog being taken to the vet!
btw, I do think he is really interested in renewable energy, so that is a good thing!
Hugs,
Terri
Every day is a new opportunity for joy! |
| amarquardt |
Posted - Dec 22 2011 : 9:49:42 PM
It has been fun to read through these posts. I have a husband who has never truly been on board with the whole farmgirl idea either. I have just had to learn to let go of some of my dreams and concentrate on the ones that are truly important. When he's sees my wishes are strong in some areas he is usually willing to help out and go along. I've also learned that if I respect his wishes on certain areas he is more willing to commit on others. Just because we each of different ideas does not mean that either one of us is wrong, just different. We need to look at things from each perspective. |
| Farmer Judy |
Posted - Dec 22 2011 : 09:39:53 AM
My DH is slowly catching on that Farmgirls and me are not going to go away. He is getting me (I'm not supose to know) books that I wanted and sewing stuff for Christmas since he says it does me good since I am not working right now. He has his hobbies too but usually helps with my big ones, like the garden. The town won't let me have chickens so that is off the table for now but we are just renting so maybe next year. There have been things I have brought up that he just outright says no to like buying a dehydrater, he says it costs to much and what would we ever put in it anyway. Little does he know that I have done my homework so I hope sooner than later that he will say it is OK.
I have really loved reading this thread and will keep checking in on it too.
Merry Christmas!
God bless,
Judy
Farmgirl #3666
Born a city girl but a farm girl at heart!
http://farmtimes.blogspot.com/ |
| Simply Satisfied |
Posted - Dec 01 2011 : 11:07:31 AM
About two months ago I really cutback my hours at work so I could be home with our kids more. Two or three weeks in my husband was teasing me about how domestic I was acting, while making a nice dinner. I told him I could stop if he would like. He promptly said no that he actually liked it. All I hear are encouraging words now. He didn't even complain when my Christmas list was all focused around stuff form domestic projects instead of "fun stuff.". I think he is really catching on that this is fun for me. He was quite happy when after researching worm bins I decided I didn't really want one, but otherwise whatever new projects I seem to come up with he has been very onboard with.
Emily
Farmgirl # 3591 |
| Wildcrafter |
Posted - Dec 01 2011 : 06:49:21 AM
When I first met my husband, I told him that I was going to have chickens and a homestead again and if he wasn't up for it, don't even date me. His reply was that he would build me things, but not to expect him to take care of any of the animals. Fast forward 5 years. He loves the chickens as much as I do, I saw him nuzzling on a rabbit the other day. He rototills me new gardens when I ask him to and last month built the chickens a sturdy new coop. He told me the other day that he isn't doing this for the animals, but because he loves me. Like Laura, he pretty much lets me do whatever I want. I clean the coop and the rabbit hutch because I like doing it. My students help me in the gardens. It all works out.
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Cedar Mountain Herb School and Botanicals
www.cedarmountainherbs.com
Become a fan! https://www.facebook.com/pages/Cedar-Mountain-Herb-School/199194060117277
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| Bensgrandma |
Posted - Nov 29 2011 : 6:56:30 PM
When I read these posts they made me smile. When we bought this house, I was a tomboy "burg" kind of girl. I could ride a minibike and do a lot of boy things but farming was not on my agenda. A house with a well and oil heat. I learned to prime a well, we bought chickens, goats and a horse one by one. He said he married a city girl and turned her into a farmgirl. We've had a lot of fun (and fights) doing things.
He tells me he hates it when I say "I've been thinking...." because that means work for him. On the other hand whenever he wants to try a new project or hobby I am right on board with it.
I would do it all again (well maybe not purchasing 100 peeps the first time out).
http://www.etsy.com/shop/HugsandStitches
http://www.etsy.com/shop/ACharmingExperience |
| Missus Miranda |
Posted - Nov 28 2011 : 11:07:39 AM
I'm not married yet, either, but MOST of the time, Josh is on board with what I want. We both want at least a little land (he grew up in Lubbock, and spent a little time when he was very young in Oregon) and we like older houses. He's not a cat person, but allowed me to adopt a cat. He doesn't pick on me for wearing an apron... silly boy thinks it's "sexy" (Dear Lord, I hate that word!) and he LOVES that I bake and cook. We're getting into repurposing more and more and he's fine with it.
The only thing that happened recently was when I mentioned wanting Chickens he shut it down immediately with a big loud "NO" and reminded me that he was ok with goats, but no chickens. He didn't say why.. jus the big fat NO. I guess I should talk to him about it, since it hurt me so much.
I must say, I do love the barter thing. We do that a lot. If I fix a big supper, he cleans the dishes. I help him fix his car and he changes my oil.
I guess it's give and take whether you've been together a year or 40. Communication is key, which is what my Momma keeps trying to teach me. I am lucky, he does support me most of the time. It's just a matter of money, at this point LOL!
"I'm not trying to be mean or cantankerous. I just wish people would do the right thing, and use a little common sense." ~ Farmgirl 3535
Pflugerville, TX
http://www.tawnycow.blogspot.com/ |
| Heather B |
Posted - Nov 28 2011 : 09:32:28 AM
Annika, your "never give up your dreams spirit" is inspiring!
Heather
http://homesteadincity.blogspot.com/
http://littlehouseonthebumper.blogspot.com/ (My "glamper" page)
"Only your real friends tell you when your face is dirty"
Farm Girl Sister #662 |
| Annika |
Posted - Nov 28 2011 : 08:53:39 AM
I am down to doing this on my own right now, because my sweetums dosen't think that I CAN run a handkerchief sized farm on my own and he doesn't want to end up doing all of the farm work. We started out with a plan to build a small sustainable farm on small acreage, but in the last 10 years my eyesight has seriously gone down hill, as well as my health, and now its arthritis. Andrew is protective of me and that is causing a bit of a problem as I really want to retrain my body to do as much and more as I can. Another thing that has soured his opinion is living on a farm with a friend of his and his wife, we have differences in how a farm should be run and he is, due to these differences, just burnt out on the whole farm thing.
So I'm starting out small. Fencing in our big yard, building a fabulous chicken coop, buying chicks and eventually when I have my own piece of property, a mini jersey some turkeys and some roasting chickens...I just have to do things slowly to prove to him that I'm capable still
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
http://thegimpyfarmgirl.blogspot.com/
http://pinterest.com/annikaloveshats/
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci
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| Heather B |
Posted - Nov 28 2011 : 07:48:23 AM
Amgela,
Even if your 25footer isnt your first choice in "glampers" you could still do a little customizing. I understand about the too long part but until he changes his mind at least you can still fulfill some of your glamper dreams!
Heather
http://homesteadincity.blogspot.com/
http://littlehouseonthebumper.blogspot.com/ (My "glamper" page)
"Only your real friends tell you when your face is dirty"
Farm Girl Sister #662 |
| cowgirlandboys |
Posted - Nov 23 2011 : 3:43:47 PM
Where in the world do you get pink cowgirl sheets? LOL THAT is something I need to know!
Happy Trails!
Rachael
Farmgirl Sister #535 |
| Christy925 |
Posted - Nov 13 2011 : 5:59:16 PM
I just asked my husband about this...the bartering to make hobby spending even...he laughed and said bulls***. LOL He wouldn't object to my having a trailer or meeting the rest of the girls. He would be concerned about my pulling the trailer and arriving safely. And of course he'd miss me fiercely. In my first marriage...my husband never said anything about what I did, where I went or who I was with. Kind of a lonely 32 years. I'm glad my husband wants me around...I'm glad he's concerned for my safety.
Farmgirl Sister #2315
http://smallfreckleddog.blogspot.com/
http://www.etsy.com/shop/WildThymeCreations?ref=pr_shop
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| naturemaiden |
Posted - Nov 13 2011 : 03:37:51 AM
my hubby thought i was crazy the first time i told him i was going to cook in the fireplace...now he prefers the meals cooked that way because they taste so much better. when i talk about getting a camper down the road he gets that look, but my hubby knows how strong willed i am and that i'll do it no matter what he says, lol. luckily he likes most of the same things that i do, so it's really a non-issue.
connie
http://www.naturemaiden.com/ - Soap & Candle
http://modern-day-laura.blogspot.com/ -My Personal Blog
http://www.prairiefarmherbs.com/ -Herb Plants for the Home Garden
http://www.thriftyfarmgirl.com/ -My Online Thrift Shop
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| ChickieMama |
Posted - Apr 12 2011 : 9:30:23 PM
Sounds like you do have a wonderful husband! How many years have you been married??quote:
Originally posted by Auntie L
I just read through this post. It's interesting how hobbies and interests affect a marriage relationship. I saved asking about getting chickens for when we went away for our anniversary, because it seems like we are often busy and our conversations get interrupted at home. I wanted to have enough time to say what I wanted to say and give him time for an honest, thoughful reponse. For my dear husband, it came down to the fact that chickens cost about the same as a good composter, but you get eggs too! :) There have been a few other things like that I want to do, and have tried to wait for the right moment to bring it up. He is so kind though, he pretty much lets me do whatever I want to do. He doesn't even expect me to clean the chicken coop! He says, "No, that's not a job for the lady of the house, plus it bothers your allergies." This is true, but I still figured that since it was my idea, it should be my responsibility. It is great having so much support, (but then, I support him too.) :)
I'm a Mama/Stepmama to 4 young adults, I homeschool, I am a preschool Directess, and the Children's Ministry Director at our church, and I love my husband to BITS!
Farmgirl Sister#2808
"Happy Hens make Happy Eggs"
http://lazyjoranch.blogspot.com
http://etsy.com/shop/lazyjoranch
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| Auntie L |
Posted - Apr 12 2011 : 12:47:16 PM
I just read through this post. It's interesting how hobbies and interests affect a marriage relationship. I saved asking about getting chickens for when we went away for our anniversary, because it seems like we are often busy and our conversations get interrupted at home. I wanted to have enough time to say what I wanted to say and give him time for an honest, thoughful reponse. For my dear husband, it came down to the fact that chickens cost about the same as a good composter, but you get eggs too! :) There have been a few other things like that I want to do, and have tried to wait for the right moment to bring it up. He is so kind though, he pretty much lets me do whatever I want to do. He doesn't even expect me to clean the chicken coop! He says, "No, that's not a job for the lady of the house, plus it bothers your allergies." This is true, but I still figured that since it was my idea, it should be my responsibility. It is great having so much support, (but then, I support him too.) :)
I'm a Mama/Stepmama to 4 young adults, I homeschool, I am a preschool Directess, and the Children's Ministry Director at our church, and I love my husband to BITS! |
| ChickieMama |
Posted - Apr 10 2011 : 3:20:12 PM
I am going to remember to say that Alee- " I am doing this because it makes me happy"!!! Thanks! I did go and buy some pink cowgirl sheets to put on the Komfort trailer bed to make me feel a little better and I did go ahead and join Sisters on the Fly for a leap of faith ;D
Farmgirl Sister#2808
"Happy Hens make Happy Eggs"
http://lazyjoranch.blogspot.com
http://etsy.com/shop/lazyjoranch
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| Alee |
Posted - Apr 06 2011 : 09:00:04 AM
You ladies make me smile! I am glad I am not the only one who has a husband who drags his feet. Sometimes I have to just say "I am doing this because it makes me happy" and sometimes I have to hint and let him suggest it. Most of the time as long as I am not asking him to do the work he is fine with it.
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
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| batznthebelfry |
Posted - Apr 04 2011 : 1:18:18 PM
I had to laugh over all these funny stories..cause I don't have this problem...now with my 1st husband I did the wifey thing & asked him & if he said no I dealt with it.....or gave in....Sadly he died after us being only married 4 1/2 yrs but I waited 13 yrs to remarry & when I did I married a man 91/2 yrs younger than me...reason I feel in love with him was he let me do what I wanted...lol...Now if I want chickens ect I just bring them home...he knows that I will be the one taking care of them so he doesn't worry about being saddled with the chores...he will help out if I ask, am sick or gone....Yes as you can see I am the head strong type & I never accept no if its something I really want to do...but then again to be fair he is allowed to do his thing also...he brought home a parachutes so he could start jumping outside of the army! It scared me to death the 1st time I watched him jump so now he does it on his own with his buddies. I grew up on a farm, he didn't, hes a scientist, I am a artist/farmgirl. as long as he has his TV & computer I am free to have any animal I want...years ago I got a small traveling trailer from the 1950's & boy do I wish I hadn't of sold it when we moved here....be the best chicken coop! I love the bartering, letting them think its their idea comments......with me if I let him think it was his idea it would never happen...his brain is on more important science stuff...lol....Michele'
Chickens rule!
The Old Batz Farm
Hen #2622 |
| ChickieMama |
Posted - Mar 28 2011 : 9:55:11 PM
Great advice!quote:
Originally posted by ShilohsHaven2011
The area my hisband diesn't want to get on board with is my recycling. He broke down and got us a horse, and we waited a year for the chickens to be his idea. Usually what I have to do with DH is this, I make a suggestion and talk about something a couple of times and then sit back and wait for him to "think of it on his own". 
Farmgirl Sister#2808
"Happy Hens make Happy Eggs"
http://lazyjoranch.blogspot.com
http://etsy.com/shop/lazyjoranch
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| BalancingAct |
Posted - Mar 28 2011 : 7:12:36 PM
That is funny Rachel. Your DH sounds pretty old-fashioned. Way back when, women had to "hint" or just talk nonchalantly about a subject and then sit back to wait for their DH to come up with a "grand idea". I had no idea it was still around.
Oh! That's too funny! [;D]
Farmgirl Sister #2851 -"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson |
| Lady Woodworker |
Posted - Mar 28 2011 : 3:26:21 PM
Rachel, you made me laugh,
Hey, at least you got your chickens!
Karen
Farmgirl Sister # 2419 |
| ShilohsHaven2011 |
Posted - Mar 28 2011 : 11:07:43 AM
The area my hisband diesn't want to get on board with is my recycling. He broke down and got us a horse, and we waited a year for the chickens to be his idea. Usually what I have to do with DH is this, I make a suggestion and talk about something a couple of times and then sit back and wait for him to "think of it on his own". |
| ChickieMama |
Posted - Mar 27 2011 : 11:05:01 AM
This made me smile ;Dquote:
Originally posted by natesgirl
My Hubby has to handle alot of the heavy work around here even for my projects. He is willin to do it because I help him with his projects and with the chores as much as I physically can.
I even had to take off, and put back on, his motorcycle fender when he wrecked and his arms were all raw and chewed up. He couldn't stand the fender diggin into his arm, so I wound up with 2 cuts on my arm from the removal proccess. He had to have it fixed for the childrens miracle ride the next weekend.
We pass chores back and forth in trade for help with something. We have even 'traded' bedroom favors for help with really big stuff. I earned an hours back massage for makin a leather cover for his dented fuel tank.
Try askin your Hubby why he doesn't like the idea. Maybe he's worried about the work. Offer to trade him chores for his help when you need it, but always pay up or he'll never trust the trade agian.
Farmgirl Sister #1438
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important?
Farmgirl Sister#2808
"Happy Hens make Happy Eggs" |
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