| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| _Rebecca_ |
Posted - Jan 01 2007 : 5:08:15 PM
My Dad died this morning at about ten 'till six o'clock. He has been in the hospital and in and out of the criticial care unit for the last week. And he was 72. He had congestive heart failure. And he was so very sick. He was ready to go.
Last night I fed my baby at 3am and I just had a feeling that my dad was going or gone. Then I had weird dreams and then my husband woke me at 6am and told me they had called and said he was dead. 
Don't mean to be depressing. He lived a good life. He has 9 grandchildren. We loved him very much, he loved us very much. He was a very loving man. Loud, crazy & irritable at times, but he always apologized, always hugged and kissed us. Not perfect, just forgiven as the saying goes. He had a car accident in the 1960's and probably suffered brain injuries from that, but was never treated for them. My mom said that he was never the same after that.
Oh my. What a huge hole. I told my mom it was her fault for marrying someone so wonderful. She should have married someone we didn't like. I feel like I have been grieving him all year long because he went to the nursing home Jan '06. It was not the life for him. My dad was a true Farmboy at heart and loved being outside on the tractor, (on his 5 acres) tinkering in the garage, fixing stuff around the house and just enjoying the nature outside. I went fishing with him so many times as a kid, helped him around the house, worked on cars with him, watched football with him. Wish I had spent more time with him.
I'm struggling with MEGA-guilt of not bringing my 4 kids to see him more often. But, I don't even get them over to see my mom often enough either. I wish I had taken them one more time at least. He did see my 5 month old (the most recent) and it was so funny because my little boy just loved my dad. I guess he just felt all the love.
Well, I'm trying to keep it together. I don't feel completely down because like I said I really deeply grieved when my dad had to go to the nursing home. I guess it was God's way of preparing me for the real thing.
I just am so thankful I had an earthly father who taught me so much, loved me so much and was such a character. He was always generous and helpful to people. If he saw people on the side of the road with car trouble he was always good to stop and help. He had a knack of saying just the right thing whenever your heart was aching over some trouble. He was so tender hearted.
Give all your fathers and husbands bear hugs and tell them how much you love them. Life is SO temporary.
In Him,
.·:*¨¨* :·.Rebecca.·:*¨¨* :·.
Wife of Jonathan, Mother of Joel, Caitlyn, Elia, Nathanael |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| renren |
Posted - Feb 08 2007 : 10:26:13 AM
So Sorry to hear that. I lost my Dad 4 years now and its still not any easier. It does get better and give it time. He loved all of you and know that hes in a better place. Hang in there, my thoughts are with you.
To be like other farm girls and become there friends. |
| Phils Ann |
Posted - Feb 08 2007 : 04:52:59 AM
Rebecca, sending you a hug with prayers for you and your family. I'm so sorry your mother has problems. It's awfully hard to watch our parents suffer.
XO,
Ann
There is a Redeemer. |
| kitchensqueen |
Posted - Feb 07 2007 : 2:28:59 PM
My condolences Rebecca... try not to beat yourself up too much about not having the kids see him more often-- focus on helping yourself and them preserve the memories of the time you did have together.
This too shall pass.
http://apartmentfarm.wordpress.com |
| Aunt Jenny |
Posted - Feb 07 2007 : 1:43:21 PM
My thoughts and prayers are with you Rebecca! My dad passed away almost three years ago now..very suddenly at age 65 (heart attack) and I still get misty at superbowl time, hunting season and when I go fishing. Cherish the memories....and take care....consider yourself (((((((hugged)))))))))
Jenny in Utah
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
| Utahfarmgirl |
Posted - Feb 07 2007 : 12:10:57 PM
Rebecca ~ there is something wonderful to remember at times like this. What the caterpiller thought was the end to the butterfly was a whole new beginning. Your Dad was lucky to be so loved! And you have such beautiful memeries.
Farmgirl hug,
Patricia
Farmgirls do it organically! |
| Kim |
Posted - Feb 06 2007 : 3:33:13 PM
My sympathies. You are i my thoughts and prayers.
farmgirl@heart
Be at peace with yourself and the rest will follow |
| _Rebecca_ |
Posted - Feb 06 2007 : 3:15:33 PM
Thank you,
I feel better than I thought I would, I look at pictures of him and am just grateful he isn't suffering/ill anymore. It's hard though because my mom almost died last summer, and she recovered, but her health is getting bad again. She has COPD and fibromyalgia and she is hurting from pleursy (sp?). I think she is okay though dealing with the loss of my dad, she was already on anti-depressent/anti-anxiety meds, so that's already a help to her.
Anyway, I'm doing a lot better this week. I really really missed my dad during the Superbowl game on tv because we used to watch football together.
My sister in OH is having a very difficult time with it. Since she lives out of state, she didn't see him as often and so it was hard for her to lose him, it was more sudden to her.
If I were more computer saavy I would post some photos of him. I'll have to get my hubby to help me.
.·:*¨¨* :·.Rebecca.·:*¨¨* :·.
Wife of Jonathan, Mother of Joel, Caitlyn, Elia, Nathanael |
| lilpunkin |
Posted - Feb 06 2007 : 3:09:24 PM
Rebecca, I was just looking through some posts and wanted to know how you were doing? Know that thoughts and prayers are still with you.
lilpunkin
Life isn't measured by how many breaths you take, but by how many moments take your breath away. |
| hollyhock81 |
Posted - Jan 13 2007 : 2:19:32 PM
Your post was very touching, thank you for reminding us to think more of our families,and visit.I will take your advice and visit more.My prayers are with you and your family. |
| shelle |
Posted - Jan 10 2007 : 8:54:48 PM
Rebecca
I am so sorry for your loss. My own father is also 72 yrs old and I have started to worry about his health lately as well. We are moving to an ajoining property to my parents as soon as we can sell our home. One of the reasons I want to do that is to be near them in their old age.
My prayers are with you and your family. God Bless you.
Shelle |
| EnchantedWoodsGirl |
Posted - Jan 06 2007 : 5:53:37 PM
I am so sorry Rebecca - It has been 13 yrs since my dad died and I still miss him every single day. Don't beat yourself up so much - we all think there is more we could have done, could have said - you are human dear girl. If you get a chance, on my blog there is a tribute I wrote about my dad called Circle of Faith - I think it will hit home with you.
If you should need to talk, just give a hollar - I am always here. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs
Kathy of the Enchanted Wood
Kathy of the Enchanted Wood
http://enchantedwoodmusings.blogspot.com/
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| sewgirlie |
Posted - Jan 06 2007 : 5:40:07 PM
Rebecca: Sorry about your dad. Your family will be comforted by his memory, which you will pass on each day.
XXOO Sheryl-lyn |
| Nance in France |
Posted - Jan 03 2007 : 08:51:35 AM
Loving thoughts and prayers for you, Rebecca. After awhile the sadness and grief will give way and you will be able to recall the special and happy times you've shared through the years. With great love, great grief is sure to follow when it ends. But how wonderful that you had such love. I feel certain that many people don't. Be thankful for each day and don't postpone joy whenever possible. That will be a fitting tribute to your dad, and bring you much happiness. Nance |
| Hideaway Farmgirl |
Posted - Jan 03 2007 : 07:57:22 AM
Rebecca,
So sorry to hear about your Dad. Your posting was so sweet and loving...he would have been pleased and proud to read it, I am sure.
My thoughts and condolences go out to your family at this time. I am so very fortunate to have both parents still with me, in their mid-80's now but in relatively good/great health. My Dad won't ever say "love you" although I always try to trick him into saying it at the end of our conversations...I got the word out of him one time, unexpectedly, several years ago, and it was like time stood still when he said the words. My mom has explained that it is to do with his own mom abandoning the family when he was a young boy...but he shows his love for my mom and my siblings without using words so it is really not so big a deal to hear the actual words.
Thanks for letting me ramble on about my own Dad, and again, accept my condolences and another farmgirl hug, okay?
Jo
"There are no strangers here, only friends you've yet to meet." |
| happymama58 |
Posted - Jan 03 2007 : 07:41:37 AM
Rebecca,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My father died almost 17 years ago, and I while I don't know exactly what you're going through, I do know that losing a parent is so very, very difficult. Please know that you and your family is in my prayers. If you ever need to "talk", you can email me. God bless you!
Some people search for happiness; others create it.
http://happymama58.typepad.com/my_weblog/
Please visit me at www.marykay.com/pmiinch |
| Norma |
Posted - Jan 03 2007 : 07:26:20 AM
Dear Rebecca,
I'm sending you a big Farmgirl hug. I am so sorry for your loss. After just having my Dad go to a nursing home, I totally sympathize and understand your loss. It's rather like the loss "before the loss"..... You wrote beautiful memories about your Dad. Pass those memories on to your wonderful children, and you will help your Dad's legacy live on.... God bless you and hold you tenderly in the hollow of His hand.
Love,
Norma |
| Bluewrenn |
Posted - Jan 02 2007 : 10:02:00 PM
My condolences regarding the loss of your dad. It's always tough to lose a family member, but more so around the holidays. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.
My Homesteading Journal http://toomyvara.livejournal.com
My craft journal http://bluewrenn.livejournal.com
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| momto6 |
Posted - Jan 02 2007 : 9:38:14 PM
I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Val |
| Luzy |
Posted - Jan 02 2007 : 7:24:57 PM
Wishing you peace and comfort Rebecca. Big hugs and love, Lu
--
May I always be the kind of person my dog thinks I am. |
| Kelly43 |
Posted - Jan 02 2007 : 4:59:05 PM
Rebecca, prayers to you and your family, it is never easy. Now you have an extra special angel watching over you always. Remember now you can talk to him whenever you like. Please post pictures if you get the chance, we'd like to love him too, just like we love you!
Kel |
| horse |
Posted - Jan 02 2007 : 3:53:32 PM
My heart and prayers go out to you and yours. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Laura |
| FarmGirl~K |
Posted - Jan 02 2007 : 12:41:55 PM
I am sorry to hear of the loss of your dad. You are showing the great legacy he has left behind with all of the nice things you have shared with us. Keep sharing his character with your children & those around you... he will live on in you & through you. Our thoughts and prayers are with you! God Bless! |
| Nancy Gartenman |
Posted - Jan 02 2007 : 12:22:47 PM
Rebecca,
Such sad news, and its never easy, remember the good times and that will help get you through.
NANCY JO
www.Nancy-Jo.blogspot.com |
| Bridge |
Posted - Jan 02 2007 : 12:14:01 PM
Rebecca, I'm so sorry....Remember your farmgirls are here for you.
Be so thankful for the happy times and remember those with tears of hapiness, not sadness.
Big HUGS to you from me
~~Bridge's Boutique~~
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| country lawyer |
Posted - Jan 02 2007 : 11:29:41 AM
Rebecca, I'm so sorry. Please know that lots of FarmGirls are praying for you and your family. It's such a difficult time for you. I've learned through my losses that there is no easy way to get through the pain...no magic words...no special rituals. Just lean on those around you who can support you and support those you can. It's the pits. Saying a prayer for you...
"The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time."
James Taylor
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